this is in response to something from a wlydfire post, as below, about the method of maintaining long-term relationships
wyldfire-------Most relationships are either made or broken during the Comfort Zone. That is the most important time to really work your DJ skills in a relationship so your partner doesn't bail.---------
I think this is interesting. Alot of of us at this point can get a lot of women now, but i notice that where at one point I had quite a few on the the line they almost "weed themselves out" by their actions eventually, and you're left with one or two (I haven't gone out and actively pursued new targets because i'm content to spend time with the remaining two ). This is the solution to the "bail out" problem – start out with lots and let them eliminate themselves for the running one by one, by either being too clingy or too b-tchy- I am now left with the two women who hassled me the least and had the best attitude. They already had alot invested in the battle to get me and thus are least likely to bail, and if they do. My aloofness seems to keep them eager.
When Wyldfire says work on your DJ skills as you get into the comfort zone, I think -
1) stay aloof, and make sure you maintain a good balance between time for her - and time for you - try to see her only when you're happy - if i'm in a pissy mood, i just postpone - say "tomorrow will be more fun because i'll feel better" - if you put it like that, most women will be cool with that (of course, don't cancel on her three times in a row or anything, then she'll feel the passive-aggressive need to nitpick at you on the date).
2) Keep quiet about your emotions and problems - if things are tough just give a quick explanation, and say, "no big deal, i can handle it" i say this ALOT. "This sucks. but I can handle it." "these people piss me off. but i can handle it" If she hears this enough, she starts to think "no problem, this guy can handle anything"
3) However, encourage HER to be open about HER emotions and problems "I already know about me. tell me about what's going on with you" they have never turned me down to spill their guts. try to focus on the key players in her story, they will come up again later.
I interrupt alot to clarify stuff i don't get, eg - "wait a second, chrissy is going with larry- larry the boss or larry from the mailroom?" Far from making women annoyed, this actually makes them like you more because you are paying attention.
4) Don't try to solve her problems. She will yell at you. Instead, after she's done, don't offer a solution, but ask about details of the problem. Don't use the socratic method either, trying to get her to solve it herself through questions. bad move. just go over stuff in the problem that you didn't get.
if you HAVE to talk, then use this: if, for instance its a "feeling annoyed at work story",
come up with a time that you felt annoyed "i know how you feel, this one time..blah blah"
use "i can handle it"
and "i know how you feel" to EXCESS.
and ABSOLUTELY LIMIT the use of "I love you"
Here's how to deal with the "I love you" - very simple.
don't say it once.
Because then she'll try to get you to say it every time. and then she'll hear it so much that it means nothing anymore. and then, you're history.
I just say. "Anyone can say that they love you. I could say "i can fly" but it won't be true. I'll show you instead of telling you." Then listen to her most recent problems for an hour and actually remember every thing. now THAT's love.
I have done these things and they work like a charm. Both of these women have told me that they loved me and been around for over a year. This is all field tested.
Start with lots of women. Then she knows you have options. Let her hang around and beat out the competition. I live by the rule "let the least annoying, the most fun" win.
wyldfire-------Most relationships are either made or broken during the Comfort Zone. That is the most important time to really work your DJ skills in a relationship so your partner doesn't bail.---------
I think this is interesting. Alot of of us at this point can get a lot of women now, but i notice that where at one point I had quite a few on the the line they almost "weed themselves out" by their actions eventually, and you're left with one or two (I haven't gone out and actively pursued new targets because i'm content to spend time with the remaining two ). This is the solution to the "bail out" problem – start out with lots and let them eliminate themselves for the running one by one, by either being too clingy or too b-tchy- I am now left with the two women who hassled me the least and had the best attitude. They already had alot invested in the battle to get me and thus are least likely to bail, and if they do. My aloofness seems to keep them eager.
When Wyldfire says work on your DJ skills as you get into the comfort zone, I think -
1) stay aloof, and make sure you maintain a good balance between time for her - and time for you - try to see her only when you're happy - if i'm in a pissy mood, i just postpone - say "tomorrow will be more fun because i'll feel better" - if you put it like that, most women will be cool with that (of course, don't cancel on her three times in a row or anything, then she'll feel the passive-aggressive need to nitpick at you on the date).
2) Keep quiet about your emotions and problems - if things are tough just give a quick explanation, and say, "no big deal, i can handle it" i say this ALOT. "This sucks. but I can handle it." "these people piss me off. but i can handle it" If she hears this enough, she starts to think "no problem, this guy can handle anything"
3) However, encourage HER to be open about HER emotions and problems "I already know about me. tell me about what's going on with you" they have never turned me down to spill their guts. try to focus on the key players in her story, they will come up again later.
I interrupt alot to clarify stuff i don't get, eg - "wait a second, chrissy is going with larry- larry the boss or larry from the mailroom?" Far from making women annoyed, this actually makes them like you more because you are paying attention.
4) Don't try to solve her problems. She will yell at you. Instead, after she's done, don't offer a solution, but ask about details of the problem. Don't use the socratic method either, trying to get her to solve it herself through questions. bad move. just go over stuff in the problem that you didn't get.
if you HAVE to talk, then use this: if, for instance its a "feeling annoyed at work story",
come up with a time that you felt annoyed "i know how you feel, this one time..blah blah"
use "i can handle it"
and "i know how you feel" to EXCESS.
and ABSOLUTELY LIMIT the use of "I love you"
Here's how to deal with the "I love you" - very simple.
don't say it once.
Because then she'll try to get you to say it every time. and then she'll hear it so much that it means nothing anymore. and then, you're history.
I just say. "Anyone can say that they love you. I could say "i can fly" but it won't be true. I'll show you instead of telling you." Then listen to her most recent problems for an hour and actually remember every thing. now THAT's love.
I have done these things and they work like a charm. Both of these women have told me that they loved me and been around for over a year. This is all field tested.
Start with lots of women. Then she knows you have options. Let her hang around and beat out the competition. I live by the rule "let the least annoying, the most fun" win.
