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LJBF? "I have plenty of friends" response

pdxjig

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Hello everyone, this is my first post, so I'll start with a quick question. I understand that the best response to a LJBF is to maintain social proof and not allow yourself to be, or continue to be seen as an AFC.

So, what do you think is the best way to respond to a LJBF? "I have plenty of friends" sounds awfully cliche, well.. almost as cliche as "lets just be friends" "I don't want to ruin our friendship" etc...
 

ViciousDADogg

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"Let's not"


Or "No thanks, I have plenty of friends"


Both are good responses, but they are powerless by them selves. She'll have her own come back at that. You say that, and then you walk away, because you realized nothing is possible. You walk away and go to the next thing.
 

Obsidian

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ultimately, your response doesn't really matter because you NEXT her if she says anything lame like LJBF. YOu don't try to raise her IL, you just move on to someone better.

But yeah, I think "No thanks, I've already got plenty of friends" would be nice and satisfying -- altho I haven't actually used it myself. (I don't think I've ever had a girl explicitly LJBF me.)
 

jonwon

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pdxjig said:
Hello everyone, this is my first post, so I'll start with a quick question. I understand that the best response to a LJBF is to maintain social proof and not allow yourself to be, or continue to be seen as an AFC.

So, what do you think is the best way to respond to a LJBF? "I have plenty of friends" sounds awfully cliche, well.. almost as cliche as "lets just be friends" "I don't want to ruin our friendship" etc...
Are you asking this question to try one last ditch effort to get into her wet panties?

If so FORGET it!

if your getting lets be friends, from a women it would take some divine intervention to get you into her panties.

The sad fact she does not see you as sexual i.e low interest level!

Take it a sign to NEXT her and move on to another girl.

If you stay at the first hurdles you WILL NEVER PROGRESS!
Gaming a girl and having her friend zone you then trying to get out of that friend zone, is AFC borderline.

The guys that are good with women, take rejection and brush it off! And they move on, the chumps who have had 4 women in there lives, try to analzye why she said this and that and try even harder to get into her pants, which usually means more of the friend shi*.

Take a step back and evaluate what YOU DID TO LAND YOU HERE in the first place, then try to change it, instead of changing her, then GROW and us it on the next women!

This is AFC talk OP, if you want blue balls carry on!
 

ViciousDADogg

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"Let's just be friend"

"Let's!!! I need to move my couch this Sunday, can you rent a truck for me?"

Then you turn around to a girl next table and start hitting on her, eventually sitting yourself at her table and ending up making out with her.
 

Broham

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jonwon said:
Are you asking this question to try one last ditch effort to get into her wet panties?

If so FORGET it!

if your getting lets be friends, from a women it would take some divine intervention to get you into her panties.

The sad fact she does not see you as sexual i.e low interest level!

Take it a sign to NEXT her and move on to another girl.

If you stay at the first hurdles you WILL NEVER PROGRESS!
Gaming a girl and having her friend zone you then trying to get out of that friend zone, is AFC borderline.

The guys that are good with women, take rejection and brush it off! And they move on, the chumps who have had 4 women in there lives, try to analzye why she said this and that and try even harder to get into her pants, which usually means more of the friend shi*.

Take a step back and evaluate what YOU DID TO LAND YOU HERE in the first place, then try to change it, instead of changing her, then GROW and us it on the next women!

This is AFC talk OP, if you want blue balls carry on!
Word.

You aren't getting any from her so you might as well be creative with your last words to her.

Her: "Let's just be friends."
You: "Whatever. You probably have a smelly vagina anyways."
 

Rollo Tomassi

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One of the biggest problems a guy's response to a LJBF rejection (and that's what it is, a rejection) is in determining whether or not she was 'really' interested (i.e. a sh!t test) or she meant it as an exit strategy. It's this AFC, hopeful doubt that throws guys off, but In either case the default response should be a takeaway.

Women have used the LJBF rejection for hundreds of years because it serves an ego preservation function for them. To a greater or lesser degree, women require attention and the more they have of it the more affirmation they experience, both personally and socially. The LJBF rejection has classically ensured that a woman can reject a man yet still maintain his previous attention. It also puts the responsibility for the rejection back on his shoulders since, should he decline the 'offer of friendship', he is then responsible for entertaining this friendship. This of course has the potential to backfire on women these days since the standard AFC will accept an LJBF rejection in the mistaken hopes of 'proving' himself worthy of her intimacy by being the perfect 'surrogate boyfriend' - fulfilling all her attention and loyalty prerequisites with no expectation of reciprocating her own intimacy. The LJBF rejection also serves as an ego preservation for her in that having offered the false olive branch of 'friendship' to him in her rejection she also can sleep that night knowing that she (and any of her peers) wont think any less of herself. After all, she offered to be friends, right? She is excused from any feelings of personal guilt or any responsibilities for his feelings if she still wants to remain amiable with him.

The difficulty I have in questioning the veracity of an LJBF, wondering if she was 'for real' or not, is it still keeps her in a position of control. I think the default response should be to assume she is serious and take it as a rejection (and her loss) ergo, you remove the reinforcer - attention. Up until the point you make an approach for her intimacy she was enjoys the benefit of your attentions. After an LJBF response her latent intent is to keep that reinforcer of attention. Do not reward her for this disingenuous response, she will only use it on you again or with another guy in a similar situation since it was reinforced the last time this circumstance was experienced. And should the next fellow reinforce it further she will internalize this as her standard response.

A man's default response should always be to excuse him from the situation. The reason for this is because it serves his best interest whether she is testing him or is rejecting him. If he is confident enough in himself to walk away from the sexually tense environment, she helped create, he proves himself as decisive enough to put himself above being 'played' like this. He leaves her with the impression that he is the PRIZE, has options with better prospective women than disingenuous girls such as her and is confident enough to take away his attentions and thus passes her sh!t test while placing the responsibility of a re-connection on her (where it should be anyway). If she has in fact had a change of heart (her prerogative) and is using the LJBF as a means to reject him, he still benefits from all of the above and plants the 'seed of doubt' in her about her initial estimation of his acceptability for her intimacy. Let a woman's imaginations work FOR you. And even if she is truly not interested in the guy, he walks away on his feet and not his knees, playing friend with her and wasting still more time that could be far better spent with more productive prospects.

This is really one of the few win-win situations for a guy to make a wholesale withdrawal of his attentions when he is confronted with an LJBF. Women know all too well how an LJBF places social pressure on a guy to accept what basically amounts to an ultimatum of negative social proof and that's a hell of a sh!t test no matter what her real intent is. If the guy turns down her offer of friendship, he's the d!ickhed, not her. But the guy that can do what common sense and gut instinct points out to him will be the one to succeed, with her and himself.
 

pdxjig

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Thanks for the replies. I wasn't asking because I've been LJBF'd and want to know how I could still get into her panties. It was a hypothetical question, because if it ever does happen I'd want to respond to it just as you would a s*** test before I got out of there.
 

Obsidian

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imo, LJBF is almost never a sh1t test. And you should pretty much always NEXT a girl who LJBFs you and never take her back.
 

Kev07

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Obsidian said:
ultimately, your response doesn't really matter because you NEXT her if she says anything lame like LJBF. YOu don't try to raise her IL, you just move on to someone better.

But yeah, I think "No thanks, I've already got plenty of friends" would be nice and satisfying -- altho I haven't actually used it myself. (I don't think I've ever had a girl explicitly LJBF me.)
Yep, we have a winner.

If she already LJBFed you, then theres really nothing you can do short of ganji games which are a big waste of time.

Next.
 

Alphamale1821

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When a chick LJBF that's when it time to leave, but when you leave make sure you leave on a note that shows your a man and that you weren't affected by her.

Chick: ljbf
Me: Not a chance i only **** my girl "friends" leave with a ****y grin and your done. Now she will feel like she is the one who just got rejected and your leaving with a smile on your face after seeing or hearing or reacion, or maybe you just left after saying that. Regardless in the end you walked away from rejection and you feel even more determined to pick up the next chick. As opposed to the AFC who gets LJBF and then tries to plead or "win" her over by being even more afc. It's a sad way to live.
 

Microphone Fiend

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IMO, when you get LJBF'ed it's not what you say in response to it then or even how you act to her the next day, it is the ability to function without her, to the point where if she comes back you hold no harsh feelings and if she does not come back, you don't even really remember her or care. it's like that dialogue from Swingers

Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her?
Rob: You don't call.
Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.
Rob: Right.
Mike: So I don't call either way?
Rob: Right.
Mike: So what's the difference?
Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?
Rob: Right.
Mike: Well that sucks.
Rob: Yeah, it sucks.
Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?
Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
Mike: What do you mean?
Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
Mike: Well what if she comes back first?
Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
Mike: There's the rub.
Rob: There's the rub.
 

CF9

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Microphone Fiend said:
IMO, when you get LJBF'ed it's not what you say in response to it then or even how you act to her the next day, it is the ability to function without her, to the point where if she comes back you hold no harsh feelings and if she does not come back, you don't even really remember her or care. it's like that dialogue from Swingers
What an apropos bit of dialogue!! I still love Swingers...:D
 

RogueWarrior

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Okay so let's take the albeit "in your dreams" scenario that she LJBF's you. You say "Nope" and cut contact. Then a few months go by, she calls and appears to convey that she made a mistake. This, of course, she'll never say out loud because that would be an admission of guilt which women aren't generally capable of.

But, you decide to observe her cautiously to see if she's for real. And she appears to be. You, of course, have actually asked whether or not she's seeing anyone so you have some idea if she's using you as an emotional tampon. She says she isn't.

Now what? I'm guessing that asking her out would be the most direct but should you be more aloof and a challenge than that?
 

CF9

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RogueWarrior said:
Okay so let's take the albeit "in your dreams" scenario that she LJBF's you. You say "Nope" and cut contact. Then a few months go by, she calls and appears to convey that she made a mistake. This, of course, she'll never say out loud because that would be an admission of guilt which women aren't generally capable of.

But, you decide to observe her cautiously to see if she's for real. And she appears to be. You, of course, have actually asked whether or not she's seeing anyone so you have some idea if she's using you as an emotional tampon. She says she isn't.

Now what? I'm guessing that asking her out would be the most direct but should you be more aloof and a challenge than that?
You mean like wait for her to ask YOU out? Maybe I'm not quite sure what you're asking (I'm feeling a bit dumb today).

BTW, why would you ask her (directly) whether she is seeing someone else? Just curious...I never do that. I either figure it out, or they'll tell you once you make it clear what you want...which is a sign of lack of interest...
 

Microphone Fiend

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To Rogue Warrior

This is a popular tactic called "Returning Fox"

Ray Parker from ASF said:
"A Returning Fox is one who has shown no previous interest in you or rejected you, but who has "returned" and approached you after you have forgotten her. This puts you in a temporary position of power.

With a Returning Fox, you should ask for whatever it is you want from her at the point of return. If she does not come across, she likely never will, and you can send her packing once again, repeating the process as many times as you have to each time she returns.

For example, if she turned you down for a date, you stopped talking to her, and she now contacts you "just to say hi" just ask her out on the spot. Optionally, you can add a reference to how puzzled you are she'd contact you and how you don't really need to talk. If she doesn't bail out there, just ask for what you want.

The method works very well in many situations. It also has short-term applications for Foxes who ignore you at clubs or parties and then "return" later."
 

RogueWarrior

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IMHO, in this situation, asking directly if she's seeing anyone cuts through the bullsh*t and small talk. If she says she is, then that would mean to me that she's not getting everything from whomever she's dating and wants to fill the holes with your "friendship" but give you nothing that YOU want.

But if she's not and she's making contact could mean that she's got renewed interest and might want to start it up OR that she's checking to make sure you're still interested so she feels better about herself. So which is it and how do you figure that out without coming across like a total asshat?
 
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