It is not what you say. It is what you will ask.
Everyone has heard that you should only speak 30% of the time when talking with a woman you are interested in. That other 70% belongs to her to gab away. We've all watched other guys flip it the other way and go down in flames. After seeing it happen a few times, and even getting burnt yourself you, carve it into your head that 30/70 rule. But I wonder if anyone really understands what they are to do with that 30%. You crash and burn just as hard only talking 30% of the time as you can 70% of the time.
What will set you apart from other guys is not you will say, it is what you are going to ask. Now I'm a pretty upbeat guy, but I still believe that everyone has an ego. That ego big or small likes to be fed, and fed regularly. But the human ego does not like an easy meal. People are naturally suspicious of compliments and gifts from strangers, especially ever since they rolled that big wooden horse into the city of Troy. But till the end of time, people will never get tired about talking about one thing.....THEMSELVES.
Spend your 30% asking questions about the woman you are speaking too. Let her spend her 70% going on about herself, what she likes, dislikes, does for a living, her 20 pound over wieght cat...whatever.
Ask her softball questions that allow her to go on and on about herself. Keep the subject matter on happy topics to avoid drama and unhappy emotions so she doesn't turn you into her emotional tampoon. Your job is not to play Sigmun Freud with her mental and emotional problems.
The more she talks about herself, the more you know. She mentions she likes the outdoors, down the road you take her white water rafting. She mentions she hates sappy movies (you wish), you avoid going to current trainwreck comedic romance movie out in the theaters. Point is the more you know about her the more you know what will and will not go over well with this woman. In the meantime she knows little about you, Mr. Mystery, and is left with a good impression of you. What will be entertaining is that she'll think you're a great conversationalist and attribute all these qualities like being funny, without even telling a joke.
Try this with a buddy sometime. One of you plays the role of the talker, all he does with women is go on about whatever subject he feels like talking about. The other just asks questions about the subjects the woman talks about, and is permitted to make a few comments for the sake of not sounding like a new reporter constantly asking questions. Here is what will happen:
The talker will leave women with the impression that he is arrogant, boring and was trying to hard.
The questioner will leave women with the impression, that he is a good listner, and good conversationalist, funny and some they wouldn't mind talking to again. Also the questioner will probably be a "breathe of fresh air" from all the other guys that just talk.
But the value of listening and asking questions doesn't end there. Remember all that stuff she went on about liking and disliking, thats free info for you to use to your advantage. Like the example I gave earlier take the girl who likes outdoors adventure white water wrafting. You also avoid doing things that would turn her off. Then you do something her that you like so that she gets introduced to you in a nonverbal way through action. This helps make things not just about her or you, but about both of you. Your compatible it would seem and your knowledge of her makes her less mysterious and all that more common taking away her most powerful card which is intimidating you through mystery.(It works both ways guys)
Sure some of you DJ puritans out there might not like this approach because you are not presenting a honest image of yourself when you take her out on dates that she will like and you might not, then I have got some news for you: While you are dating her in those early days do you honestly think you are seeing the real her, or merely her best presentation of herself?
All is fair in this game, I just like to level the playing field...in my favor
-Grey Fox
Everyone has heard that you should only speak 30% of the time when talking with a woman you are interested in. That other 70% belongs to her to gab away. We've all watched other guys flip it the other way and go down in flames. After seeing it happen a few times, and even getting burnt yourself you, carve it into your head that 30/70 rule. But I wonder if anyone really understands what they are to do with that 30%. You crash and burn just as hard only talking 30% of the time as you can 70% of the time.
What will set you apart from other guys is not you will say, it is what you are going to ask. Now I'm a pretty upbeat guy, but I still believe that everyone has an ego. That ego big or small likes to be fed, and fed regularly. But the human ego does not like an easy meal. People are naturally suspicious of compliments and gifts from strangers, especially ever since they rolled that big wooden horse into the city of Troy. But till the end of time, people will never get tired about talking about one thing.....THEMSELVES.
Spend your 30% asking questions about the woman you are speaking too. Let her spend her 70% going on about herself, what she likes, dislikes, does for a living, her 20 pound over wieght cat...whatever.
Ask her softball questions that allow her to go on and on about herself. Keep the subject matter on happy topics to avoid drama and unhappy emotions so she doesn't turn you into her emotional tampoon. Your job is not to play Sigmun Freud with her mental and emotional problems.
The more she talks about herself, the more you know. She mentions she likes the outdoors, down the road you take her white water rafting. She mentions she hates sappy movies (you wish), you avoid going to current trainwreck comedic romance movie out in the theaters. Point is the more you know about her the more you know what will and will not go over well with this woman. In the meantime she knows little about you, Mr. Mystery, and is left with a good impression of you. What will be entertaining is that she'll think you're a great conversationalist and attribute all these qualities like being funny, without even telling a joke.
Try this with a buddy sometime. One of you plays the role of the talker, all he does with women is go on about whatever subject he feels like talking about. The other just asks questions about the subjects the woman talks about, and is permitted to make a few comments for the sake of not sounding like a new reporter constantly asking questions. Here is what will happen:
The talker will leave women with the impression that he is arrogant, boring and was trying to hard.
The questioner will leave women with the impression, that he is a good listner, and good conversationalist, funny and some they wouldn't mind talking to again. Also the questioner will probably be a "breathe of fresh air" from all the other guys that just talk.
But the value of listening and asking questions doesn't end there. Remember all that stuff she went on about liking and disliking, thats free info for you to use to your advantage. Like the example I gave earlier take the girl who likes outdoors adventure white water wrafting. You also avoid doing things that would turn her off. Then you do something her that you like so that she gets introduced to you in a nonverbal way through action. This helps make things not just about her or you, but about both of you. Your compatible it would seem and your knowledge of her makes her less mysterious and all that more common taking away her most powerful card which is intimidating you through mystery.(It works both ways guys)
Sure some of you DJ puritans out there might not like this approach because you are not presenting a honest image of yourself when you take her out on dates that she will like and you might not, then I have got some news for you: While you are dating her in those early days do you honestly think you are seeing the real her, or merely her best presentation of herself?
All is fair in this game, I just like to level the playing field...in my favor
-Grey Fox
