List of reasons why *I* think success with women won't be a reality for me...

[AlmostThere!]

* I'm black and prefer to be with white or asian females. After being told by black and hispanic women that I'm not hood enough (or just seeing what these chicks prefer), I swore off trying to date those women. If I do find a hispanic or black woman that likes an "oreo", then my mind will be changed.

* Because of racism and the negative image people see of black men (which I don't fit AT ALL), white and asian women are especially leery of getting serious with a black guy.

* Not only is dating hard all by itself, I'm making it especially tougher going after women who don't want anything to do with me.

* I always been a middle of the road kind of guy. I think there's something great in everything. Therefore, I don't have a strong image such as being a super geek that collects star wars memorabilia, biker, tattooed rough guy, millionaire playboy...you get the picture. It seems like women are most attracted to guys who fit in one category. Someone like me, who doesn't have a "in your face" image, girls pass by me.

* It's extremely difficult to make friends over the age of 25. Most people have their group of lifelong friends, they have jobs and don't have much time to chill and meet new people every weekend, or married and only do couple stuff. If I was a few years younger and know what I know now, I would be better off.

* Every time I do go on dates or have sex, the period in between is so long that I will never get good. It's like I go out on dates for a couple weeks and calibrate my style to get the best results, but then I go dateless for months and feel like it's new all over again. Same with sex. I need to keep practicing in order to get good, and these gaps aren't helping.


I've been wondering about this for a while. Do you find that most American females (especially those under 30) have a "don't talk to me" vibe going on? Are they just faking it? Do they change when a guy that fits their standard is in the room?

 

[2crudedudes]

Let me start off by saying I'm Mexican. I don't particularly have it easy by any means. I don't have very many friends from long ago (I'm 27, and culturally, I should be married and have at least a couple of kids). I feel you man, I understand what its like trying to meet new people when everyone your age is already moving on and has their own established circle of friends.

My lays are few and far between, just like you. But you know what? I'm not ready to give up. Even if it takes the rest of my life to relieve this frustration, it is my life goal to fix it. Acceptance has been hard for me (I moved to the States at age 8, meaning getting used to the new culture was difficult, especially with VERY traditional Mexican parents).

I know what its like to not fit in, I know what its like to not be the norm. But you know what? F*ck it man, f*ck all that sh*t. Everyone has a place in this world, and its up to you to give it to yourself. If others don't give it to you, TAKE it. Make that place for yourself. Rarely is anything worthwhile is just handed to you.

 

[AlmostThere!]

I know what its like to not fit in, I know what its like to not be the norm. But you know what? F*ck it man, f*ck all that sh*t. Everyone has a place in this world, and its up to you to give it to yourself. If others don't give it to you, TAKE it. Make that place for yourself. Rarely is anything worthwhile is just handed to you.

Sometimes I think that "place" is having no place. :cuss:

 

[tosh]

Honestly all those things don't matter. All you need is a club full of girls, a few drinks and some confidence. Your hit rate might be 20% compared to brad pitt's 98%. You can still get plenty of action and a decent LTR. Most likely you're just not trying hard enough.

 

[WC2]

If you believe success with women won't be a reality for you then it probably won't.

My question is.. if you want to get better with women, then why do you even have this mentality? Haven't you read any books that tell you NOT to think this way? Haven't you listened to others here who tell you the same thing? Hell, haven't you watched youtube videos that say NOT to do this?

It seems to me like you're just being LAZY.

Too lazy to improve yourself.
Too lazy to play the field with no fear of rejection
Too lazy to become an alpha male instead of a beta male.
Too lazy to even admit you're lazy.

Being BLACK has nothing to do with it. I see black men all the time who lay MASSIVE amounts of women and have sexy white girl friends as well. In fact, my good friend who's black has been dating this white chick who's at least a 9 for the past 2 years.

You say dating is hard because women don't want you. Why would a woman want you if you truly believe she doesn't want you? This is the definition of NO CONFIDENCE. A woman isn't going to want you until you fully believe that she wants you.

"I'm always of a middle of the road kind of guy" translates to someone who isn't bold enough to take sides. Don't get me wrong, I hate dealing in absolutes. I think men who deal in absolutes are idiots. However remember the phrase if you don't stand for anything, you'll fall for everything (or something like that). It's very true. I'm sure you have deep beliefs that you just don't want to show on the surface. It's time to make them known and stop being 'middle of the road' / 'average joe'. You're right, no women like these type of guys.

Lastly, your assumption that it's extremely hard to make friends over the age of 25. I think that's absurd. I'm only 23 myself, however in the past year I've made at least 100 new friends. So what.. you're saying in 2 years I'm going to drop to NO NEW FRIENDS? Please.. this is why we network. Form relationships, make friends, do business, etc. There are guys out there who are 40 who are making new friends who they can go have a drink with.

The only thing I could see being a problem to you is your lack of practice in dating and sex. But so what? Do you know how many other AFCs are out there who have NO CLUE what they're doing?

Change the attitude about getting women and I promise practice will be a plenty.

 

[AlmostThere!]

If you believe success with women won't be a reality for you then it probably won't.

My question is.. if you want to get better with women, then why do you even have this mentality? Haven't you read any books that tell you NOT to think this way? Haven't you listened to others here who tell you the same thing? Hell, haven't you watched youtube videos that say NOT to do this?

It seems to me like you're just being LAZY.

Too lazy to improve yourself.
Too lazy to play the field with no fear of rejection
Too lazy to become an alpha male instead of a beta male.
Too lazy to even admit you're lazy.

Being BLACK has nothing to do with it. I see black men all the time who lay MASSIVE amounts of women and have sexy white girl friends as well. In fact, my good friend who's black has been dating this white chick who's at least a 9 for the past 2 years.

You say dating is hard because women don't want you. Why would a woman want you if you truly believe she doesn't want you? This is the definition of NO CONFIDENCE. A woman isn't going to want you until you fully believe that she wants you.

"I'm always of a middle of the road kind of guy" translates to someone who isn't bold enough to take sides. Don't get me wrong, I hate dealing in absolutes. I think men who deal in absolutes are idiots. However remember the phrase if you don't stand for anything, you'll fall for everything (or something like that). It's very true. I'm sure you have deep beliefs that you just don't want to show on the surface. It's time to make them known and stop being 'middle of the road' / 'average joe'. You're right, no women like these type of guys.

Lastly, your assumption that it's extremely hard to make friends over the age of 25. I think that's absurd. I'm only 23 myself, however in the past year I've made at least 100 new friends. So what.. you're saying in 2 years I'm going to drop to NO NEW FRIENDS? Please.. this is why we network. Form relationships, make friends, do business, etc. There are guys out there who are 40 who are making new friends who they can go have a drink with.

The only thing I could see being a problem to you is your lack of practice in dating and sex. But so what? Do you know how many other AFCs are out there who have NO CLUE what they're doing?

Change the attitude about getting women and I promise practice will be a plenty.

This post hit me in the gut.

 

[lorekeeper]

This sentence is based of a friends experience, and probably very stereotypical :S

"visit japan. sate your appetite" lol

 

[Snow Plowman]

Man you have a bigger problem than success with women...

Where the fuk did you get these assumptions from? You sound like a guy who has a failure mentality and has no sense of reality.

*Calls in mythbusters*
- I'm black and prefer EASTER EURO women
- I've recently had to cut off a korean woman because she was trying to make me her BF. Also a 30yr old white woman from LA was so sad because she would've hooked hooked up with me instantly in her early 20s but now she's looking for a guy to settle down with and start a family.
- 90% of the women I talk to never even kissed a black person. Heck, before they even visited U.S I don't think they ever seen a black person in real life.
- One of my close friend's is 29, another guy is...43!!! An both are constantly meeting new people everytime they go out.

This is something only chodes see because there instantly reacting to her appearance. If you were giving women the opportunity to meet you then whatever vibe she was giving was irrelevant.

Your whole post sounds like you actually lack experience and just scared of coming across as incompetent. However, no one is keeping score just go out and improve yourself and overall life. Gain some experience so you can smash your beliefs that are limiting your experiences because EVERYONE limits there experience regardless how good they are...

Year ago I was told that asian women who weren't americanized were very conservative. Year later, I was in the club randomly kissing 1 asian chick then grabbed my original asian chick and went off to finger her in a corner...Limiting belief gone.

You won't get good unless you have your own personal experiences...

Question...
- How many women have you approached since you got into this?
- Do you have any female friends?
- Do you have a life that you enjoy living?