Lets here all your WTF stories!! :D

[Pimp-sicle]

DJ's:

Thought I add some fun to this board seeing that its slowly going to shiat with all the sappy AFC questions that have now become the norm on this board, rather than seduction and field reports. So what I'm lookin for are stories that you guys have of girls that have made you question their sanity or if they were that dumb. Of course I've got mine, so I'll let it go right here.


This happened about 3 months ago, toward the beginning of summer. I went out to the local downtown scene here in So Cal and went bar hopping with my buddies. At the first stop we all drink waaaaaaaaaay too much and decide our "bar hopping" night will not include any other bars... So were out on the patio and I see a pretty cute girl, probably a low 7, not really up to par with my standards but I had a good amount of alcohol in me and I was ready to have some fun. So I DJ the shiat out of her, end up making out on the patio infront of the whole bar, I number close her and that's that. 20 minutes later on my way home I get a text from her and she says:

"hey its me"

I respond back and say "hey," keep in mind its 2:30 in the morning. The dumb byatch goes "so what are you doing?" I laugh and tell her I"m going home. She says that's too bad because she wanted to invite me over. I didn't really give a fuvk because she was whatever. So then she texts me again and says "so what do you think about me." I tell her I think she's chill and I'm sure I'd probably see her at the bars again. Her next text made me laugh, then want to throw my phone when I realized she was serious. She goes, "so are we dating now?" LOL WTF!!!! I seriously stared at the screen for 2 minutes not knowing what to say because I realized she meant it.

Luckily or unluckily she then called me and I answered. I fluffed her until I got home (10 minutes) and then I told her I'm tired and I'm going to bed. She texted me AGAIN and 4:30 in the fukin morning and said "your sooo cute."


Normally this would be chill if this was a girl I'd known for a few weeks, maybe a month, but from a girl I knew for 2, maybe 3 hours!! Yah gotta be kidding me!! Needless to say the next day she called 4 fukin' times, I didn't answer and I saw her at the bars the next night. I was chill about it (I'm getting old) and told her she needed to relax because she was creeping me out. I laughed and walked off after this and deleted her number...



PIMP

 

[backbreaker]

that'a too funny.


Around 1 year ago, I was then talking to my recent Ex Girlfriend on a wedneday night.

On Wednesday's me and my 2 best friends usually go to this underground jazz bar that's pretty popular. So they get over my house around 7, and by say 8 we are already "tipsy' to say the least.


So my ex calls me and pleds with me to let me see her, becuase I hadn't seen her all week. So I tell her she better get her in the next 30 mins or so.

So she brings her Best friend, ,who i had never met. Her Best friend saw I had a frig full of alchol and started drinking.


So, it's me, my ex, and my two best friends, and the other girl. I wam watching my fav movie (seabiscuit), by now drunk, and flirting with my EX... and out of the blue I hear the quote of the year come from this girl..



"if I see a dyck, I just have to suck it"

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:


All three of us looked at each other like, ,all of us drunk, letting it really sink in what she just blurted out. Then, ,it's like we all realized at the same time...


SETOUT!! :woo:

Needless to say, I then looked over and say my EX, her best friend, and reazlied I couldn't do nothing....

However the funniest thing was watching how quick my two best friends literarly RAN across the room, grabbed her and took her into my bedroom (one of them, the other was sitting next to her).

Around 30 minutes later all three of them walked out, and my two friends were crying laughing at how funny the situtation was.. needless to say my ex didn't bring her around any more

 

[Pimp-sicle]

LOL!! backbreaker!! I bet you were seriously wishing your ex wasn't there at the moment. Its even worse when your drunk as shiat and all you wanna do is have a random slvt blow you and be done with it. The world needs the average to below average girls to fufill these little real world fantasies!!!


Keep the stories coming!!! I'll post more as they come back to my memory!!



PIMP

 

[Bussey]

Lol, I got one... I met this girl through a mutual friend.. and our relationship turned to a fvck buddy one... So after fvucking her about.. 12 times, over the course of a few weeks, she comes over and sits down and goes

'I wanna have a baby'

I looked at her and started laughing, I thought she was kidding, so I fvcked her (with a condom lol) and thought that be the end of it.

Next time she came over, she said it again... conversation went like this.

Her: No, no condom, I want you to get me pregnant.
Me: Hahahahahaa.
Her: *Dead Serious Look* Really I do.
Me: Heh... *Looks at her for about 2 minutes* Umm, I'm gonna go....

Lol, never called her again, although she tried to get in touch with me lots lol.
Was an interesting experience.

 

[BLUEox117]

Originally posted by backbreaker
that'a too funny.


Around 1 year ago, I was then talking to my recent Ex Girlfriend on a wedneday night.

On Wednesday's me and my 2 best friends usually go to this underground jazz bar that's pretty popular. So they get over my house around 7, and by say 8 we are already "tipsy' to say the least.


So my ex calls me and pleds with me to let me see her, becuase I hadn't seen her all week. So I tell her she better get her in the next 30 mins or so.

So she brings her Best friend, ,who i had never met. Her Best friend saw I had a frig full of alchol and started drinking.


So, it's me, my ex, and my two best friends, and the other girl. I wam watching my fav movie (seabiscuit), by now drunk, and flirting with my EX... and out of the blue I hear the quote of the year come from this girl..



"if I see a dyck, I just have to suck it"

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:


All three of us looked at each other like, ,all of us drunk, letting it really sink in what she just blurted out. Then, ,it's like we all realized at the same time...


SETOUT!! :woo:

Needless to say, I then looked over and say my EX, her best friend, and reazlied I couldn't do nothing....

However the funniest thing was watching how quick my two best friends literarly RAN across the room, grabbed her and took her into my bedroom (one of them, the other was sitting next to her).

Around 30 minutes later all three of them walked out, and my two friends were crying laughing at how funny the situtation was.. needless to say my ex didn't bring her around any more

lmfao.......

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by Bussey
Lol, I got one... I met this girl through a mutual friend.. and our relationship turned to a fvck buddy one... So after fvucking her about.. 12 times, over the course of a few weeks, she comes over and sits down and goes

'I wanna have a baby'

I looked at her and started laughing, I thought she was kidding, so I fvcked her (with a condom lol) and thought that be the end of it.

Next time she came over, she said it again... conversation went like this.

Her: No, no condom, I want you to get me pregnant.
Me: Hahahahahaa.
Her: *Dead Serious Look* Really I do.
Me: Heh... *Looks at her for about 2 minutes* Umm, I'm gonna go....

Lol, never called her again, although she tried to get in touch with me lots lol.
Was an interesting experience.

LOL!! Umm yeah she was probably a head case to say the least!!!




PIMP

 

[qweretyuiopas]

this thread is too funny :crackup: people please post more

 

[white_hype]

I love threads like these... too bad they never get too long b/c most people here have no real expereince with lots of girls

heres one of mine:

Last May (I think) I met this girl at a party. I had been drinking a little (read: wasted) and saw a 2 set by the dancefloor. I immediately walked up to them and starting dancing AT them lol. Like they were kinda standing there and I just started dancing in front of them. Well they both started to grind with me and I grabbed a guy to hand off the ugly one too (he loved me after that) and tried a ONS with mine but they wouldn't leave one another and I was too drunk to run any good game to get them to my place. Therefore, I just number closed.

A week later I meet her out at a party and she comes home with me. She was with a friend so I gamed the friend up too so she wouldn't CB then my roommate came in and took care of her (my chick definitely wanted me so the friend was like "ok i guess I'll take the rommy lol."

So I get her in my room, hard core making out ensues. We take it a little further (hj/finger... weak i know). After she wants to talk and I don't really mind either b/c after you hook up with a girl you can ask them anything they want and they will usually tell the truth, this is good for a debrief and I get to know what she thought of me etc. Well I crack a small innocent joke and she goes silent.... but i dont even notice and keep talking then I slowly realise she has been silent for like 2 mins. I ask her "whats wrong" and I then hear she is fvcking CRYING! WTF!?!? I wish I could have remembered what I said but i KNOW it wasn't mean. I asked her again and she just cries out "you don't care about me"

uh...

I do some comforting crap and she is fine... so dam weird. Eventually we both pass out and wake up at like 11pm. She is supposed to go to some soroity function crap but chooses to stay with me. Yay for me...

Well her friend and my roommate had passed out in the living room (they barely kissed) so we all started talking. After about a hour of hanging out the girls made no moves to leave... they just got more comfortable. My roomamte and I start eyeing eachother giving the "wtf" look

I leave to get a hair cut (wanted to get the fvck out of there... I do not like haning out with weird chicks that I don't like). And do some shopping. Well i come back about 2 hrs later and THEY ARE STILL FVCKING THERE! WTF

"You guys are still here?"

girls - "omg did u just say that? omg u r so mean"

me- "..."

After 15 mins of this I have had it but I'm too nice to get them to leave after I drop several hints so I start having fun with it. My roommate/I start poking fun at them a little (nothing mean) and I fire up Halo 2 Online. After 30 mins of them watching us play this (we are really intense.. cursing a lot, ignored them completley) they leave. ABOUT ****ING TIME

YAY

it gets better

she left her "watch" on my night stand. I saw it when I went to bed that night and was like "NOOOOOOOOOO, now I have to see this loser again." I know she did it on purpose, girls always pull this crap.

Well the next day she calls to see if I have her watch I say ya to come by and get it at like 8pm but I might not be there (BS), shes like "ok wait for me though!"

I left the watch outside on the door step lol. She came by like 20 mins early while i was watching tv (right next to front door) really loud and when I hear her knock I turn the tv off. My roommate and I quickly tiptoe into my room and shut off all the lights as if we aren't there LOL

after 3 mins she leaves...

never saw her again

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Originally posted by white_hype
she left her "watch" on my night stand. I saw it when I went to bed that night and was like "NOOOOOOOOOO, now I have to see this loser again." I know she did it on purpose, girls always pull this crap.

Well the next day she calls to see if I have her watch I say ya to come by and get it at like 8pm but I might not be there (BS), shes like "ok wait for me though!"

I left the watch outside on the door step lol. She came by like 20 mins early while i was watching tv (right next to front door) really loud and when I hear her knock I turn the tv off. My roommate and I quickly tiptoe into my room and shut off all the lights as if we aren't there LOL

after 3 mins she leaves...

never saw her again

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[Bloke]

I invited a girl back to my place...

We were in bed making out & playing with each others bits. In the middle of this she tells me that she has a boyfriend which I did not know beforehand (it was this lil junkie wanker, who I don't particularly like). This didn't really bother me since the job was already half done.

Here comes the WTF !!

... I was starting to get into her pants & get to the job. She then stops me & says this....

Sarah: " I can't have sex with you. I respect my boyfriend too much ! "



:crackup:

 

[backbreaker]

lol, I guess I will contribute once again... I have some pretty wild experiences as you might imagine.


First, about the same time, actually around a month earlier than my first story, one sunday night I am playing pool down the street from my house at this popular sports bar. So I get a call from this same girl, ,my EX, but then her and I were just talking and around this time we had JUST started talking. So she asks can she come and spend the night with me. Now, I have 2 girls that already want to, and one I had
just met so I really wanted to get with her, so I told her I WILL CALL HER BACK AND LET HER KNOW.

That's very imortant, keep that in mind.

So I get a call from the girl I actually WANTED to come over my house and she asks can she come and "have some drinks".. whatever. So she comes by, ,we drink, we go at it, so around 2:30 in the morning, about 20 mintues after we just had sex, we are laying in bed watching a movie, and I get a knock on the door...

Now, I'm thinking it's either my next door neighboor (who I had sex with as well) because her BF gets mad at her and locks her out from time to time and she uses my phone to call him, or it was one of my 2 best friends.

SO I look out of the peephole and it's my EX GF!

I'm thinking "WTF, did I tell her to come over..I am pretty sure I told her i would call her back"

Whatever, so I had tot hink quick, very very quick.

So I told the girl in my bed to be very quiet, so I go and answer the door, and I put on this "wtf do you want, you woke me up look" on my face. I can tell she had been drinking...lol and I mean she had her travel bag and everything.

So I tell her I told her I would call her back, why did she show up?

She says "you don't want to see me?"
Being 25 and being around the block a few times, I can see her putting 2 and 2 together, ,a nd she says "who the **** do you have over here"

Now that I look back on it, I don' tknow HOW i did this without laughing, but I gave her this "***** how dare you accuse me of something like that" look and ripped her another one, and told her we weren't dating, and even if I did have someone over my house, what the **** do I have to hide.

She says "whatever"

And in a role of reverse phscology, I tell her "look, if you don't believe me, go in my room right now and look for your self"

So she looks at me and says "ok I am sorry, I trust you, I'm not going to look"

I tell her I have a meeting at 8 in the morning (which was true) and I have to get up early to catch it, and her being there would be a distriction, so I make her leave)

When she walked out the door, I laughed my ass off, and the girl asked who was that.. I told her it was a crazy girl that I had sex with a few times.

 

[backbreaker]

I'm on a roll..

When I was.. 17 or 16, I think I had just turned 17.. whatever, there was thisg irl I met when I worked at McDonalds.

So we went on a few dates and one day in the summer while my mom was at work,s he came over my house.

So about an hour after she comes over we start having sex and about 30 mintues into the sex, get this, she takes a candle lighter I had on the ground, picks it up and burns my arm!

That's the first and only time I have ever laid my hands on a girl in my life. I slapped her so hard my hand hurt.

So I literarly get up and literarly throw her out of my house.

I saw her around a few times after that but never spoke to her again.

 

[Wee]

This isn't really a ****ed up chick story, but I think it is kinda funny. So I'm dating this girl for a while, and I'm pretty young (like 14). I ended up dating her beacause once we were havin' sex and she asked me to to be her boyfriend in the middle of sex. What is a guy to do? I don't wanna stop ****ing so I say yes.

So we are dating and we are having sex on a difference occasion, and she tells me she wants me to ***. My mind starts thinking about that word, and suddenly the phrase 'Jesus's second cumming' pops into my mind. I don't know what it was about it but I started laughing hysterically.. in the middle of sex. She got pissed off and immediately got dressed and started walking home. Later (we didn't break up after that) she asked me to marry her while we were ****ing. Yea.. I said yes. She was serious too. After we had sex I had to tell her no. She started crying.. Wtf. That was the end of me and that chick.

 

[backbreaker]

ok this is my last one (even though I have more, I have company coming over)

Last year (as you can tell, I had a blast this last year or so) I was messing around with my Ex but before we started dating I was seeing 2-3 other women as well, one a stripper and one a bartender.

Well the bartender was married, and had 2 kids. I wasn't going to do anythnig with her but she literarly threw herself at me.

anyway, we had been messing around for about 2 weeks now. The first week it was like 2, maybe 3 nights.. she would get off work at 2am, come over my house as i lived 2 minutes away from her job, go at it until 4:30ish and be home before her husband woke up.


So the next week, I guess she really liked it becuae I couldn't get her out of my house. it was so bad I was neglecting all of the other girls (have to admit it was the most exciting one of the three)

So one night, if I am not mistaken it was a friday night, while I happened to be at her job (and everybody by now but her husband knows we are screwing because she follows me like a lost p uppy) she asks can she come over my house.

now I wanted to see her, I really did, ,but I also wanted to go out. So I gave her a spare key in my car and told her to make her self at home until I got back from the club.

So I get home, no problems at all, she is in one of my teeshirts and boxers, made some popcorn watching tv.. somehow she convineced her husband that she had to spend the night with one of her coworkers in little rock (she stayed in conway, about 30 minutes away) becuase she had to be at work at 10 in the morning, so I had her ass all night.

So we go at it, all is well, my house wasn't a mess, she had my key sititng on the dresser, she by all means passed the test.

Right?


Boy, the next Tuesday, I am at work, a normal, ,ordanry ass tuesday. So I get off work, stop and see my little sister at Preschool for a sec since it's right down the street from my house, and I get home and there is someone in my apartment.

Now, this is nothign new... 3 people have keys to my house, my two best friends and this one girl I have known my entire life... 5 out of 7 days I get home someone is at my house so I don't pay any attention.

Now, when I walk though the door, I smell italian food.. Now, I love italian food,b ut that's not the point... I didn't make italian food and I know none of my friends did, I still pay n o mind.

Now, this married girl comes out of my room and says "suprise"!


(she had went to wal mart that friday night and got a spare key made of the key I gave her... I had the locks changed the next day)

I almost had a heart attack. At the time I don't know rather to be thankful, inquisitive on how she got in my house, or to just strangle this physo.

I mean she had cooked, BOUGHT GROCERIES. That's right, went to Wal mart and bought GROCERIES (I was out of milk and I made a comment the previous day to her how I wanted to eat my Coco Krispes but damn), Cleaned the house (that was already clean by the way), and went out and bought some laungerie and had it on when I opened the door.

She had made some Alfredo with Scallop potatoes and some garlic bread.

So we had sex, ,and it was the oddest sex I have probably had to date... I was still in a state of shock. About half way though us doing it, I came to the conclusion that this had to be the last time, because this girl was "off the chain"

Only then did I notice little small things, like her putting HER ceral in my pantry... Her putting some of her clothes in my closet, not alot, but some, she had even bought some pet food because she wanted to bring her parrot over my house.

So I give her the pipe and say goodbye for I went back to work to get away from her, and didn't talk to her for a good month. I even advoided her bar


So one night out with my friends, at a different bar I see her and she sees me an I try to play it off. I go over to her and before I can get over there, her sister (who is hot as hell BTW) tells me I am a homewrecker and I am no good.

So I get over there and she starts crying... turns out she left her freaking husband that week... she says it wasn't because of me, but I "opened her eyes", so she asks when can she see me, and I tell her I am dating someone now, and she throws her crandberry vodka in my face and slaps me. I could have beat her ass, ,but I thought about it, and if that's all I had to put up with from that hole situtation, I can live.

Funny thing, I saw her a couple of months back (this happened over a year ago) and had sex with her, and we talk every so often now, but I try not to talk to her too much.

 

[white_hype]

lmao back breaker!!! I hope the bartender was hot b/c that is just fvcking nuts!

weee- LOL!! I love how she saves the serious convos for mid sex lol

Since you guys are stepping up to the plate I'll throw in another one:

The night I lost my virginity.

Throughout high school I had only like 3 chances to lose it, but I chose not to. I wanted to wait for a really hot girl (like model hot) or someone I really cared about. Well freshman year of college I changed my mind LOL!

I hooked up with this girl, about a hb7.5, at some party. Just went really direct, made friends with her friends, and hooked up with her tha tnight (everything but sex). A few more hookups like this and I grew tired of her and saw other girls... she was friends with some of my college friends so I'd see her everynow and then and she'd be all over me and I'd oblige her but that was it. I didn't even get her number (i didn't want it) even though she got it through my friends and tried calling me (I never picked up her calls lol).

Well about 6 months go by, I don't see her, then all of a sudden she is having a party at her place which my friends are going to so I tag along. The night starts off innocently as she asks 5 mins after seeing me "want to do some body shots off me" lol... no one was doing shots of any type (just beer). Game on!

We makeout and I decide I'm going ot **** her b/c I was horny as hell (she had been working out and was a hb8 that night).

Heres the good part. There is this guy who is her "best guy friend' AFC AFC AFC!!! I think he is secretly in love with her but has 0 game so he is always frustrated. Well we are making out in her room (the girl not him lol) and he opens the door, sees us making out, and TACKLES ME!! MID MAKEOUT!

I had been training BJJ and put him in a guillotine (it's a choke where I would have put him unconsious in about 15 seconds) but my friends, seeing that this might happen, rush in to break it up while i screamed " I GOT ME A BIG ONE!!! THIS ONES A KEEPER" lol

I was a little weirded otu by this b/c I dont want him breaking in while I'm ****ing this girl and stabbing me with a spear or some **** so I ask whats going on with him. She gives me the "hes just really drunk and is overprotective of me" blah blha speech

eventually after everyone has left except for another dude and his girl and yes... that ****ing psycho guy b/c he was too drunk and passed out on the couch. Well I was about to get a bj from her when he knocks on the bedroom door... WTF... she tells him to go away but he just bangs harder saying "LET ME IN!!!" "WHERE AM I"

she eventually gets dressed to go talk to him while I try to sober up and stretch to get ready to fight him agian... yes I streched and did shadow boxing LMAO

anyways she calms him down and he goes back to sleep... or so we thought

about 10 mins later, as we are back at it, he ****ING RUSHES THE DOOR AND KNOCKS IT DOWN! (he was a big guy) seriously, the door came off its hindge. Then SHE got really pissed at him and he felt bad b/c he destoryed the coffee table in the living room right before that and realised at that point that he was a huge jackass. He was like "im so sorry I didnt mean too... I ll go home" and tries to steal her bike and ride home which is like 30 miles away at like 4am...

Finally he gets a ride from some random person I dont know and he leaves and I get to fvck my girl. Fvcking nuts

 

[qweretyuiopas]

backbreaker you are officially the funniest mother****er here :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

That was a crazy story white_hype :woo: :woo: :woo:

 

[backbreaker]

i like running into guys like that, just so I can how mad I can make them.

Yes the bartender was pretty hot, probably the best pure **** I have ever had.

The Bartenders husband was like that sorta (well, now that I think about it, he actually had a right to be like that)

I actually knew the guy (the bartender had the balls to setup a double date with me and some girl and her and her husband so he wouldn't feel "threatened" by me..) cool guy and all, but his wife liked to party and they would go to the clubs, ironically whichever one i was at, and I would end up dancing with his wife the entire night, her excuse was her huband can't dance...lol, she even talked him into believeing it was a good thing that she was dancing with a good friend, because it was better then some random guy that wanted her for sex (i guess him getting up and dancing with his wife wasn't an option)

I could tell he was fustrated, poor guy, but at the same time I really didn't feel to bad for him, if he was doing what he was supposed to do he wouldnt' have that problem

 

[jiza101]

Originally posted by backbreaker
I'm on a roll..

When I was.. 17 or 16, I think I had just turned 17.. whatever, there was thisg irl I met when I worked at McDonalds.

So we went on a few dates and one day in the summer while my mom was at work,s he came over my house.

So about an hour after she comes over we start having sex and about 30 mintues into the sex, get this, she takes a candle lighter I had on the ground, picks it up and burns my arm!

That's the first and only time I have ever laid my hands on a girl in my life. I slapped her so hard my hand hurt.

So I literarly get up and literarly throw her out of my house.

I saw her around a few times after that but never spoke to her again.

:crackup: haha wtf dude :cheer:

 

[backbreaker]

yep, still have the burn mark on my arm to this day