Less then 2 weeks left...What to do?!

[DJx420]

Hey guys,

First, before I begin, I want to thank all of you who have been responding and helping me throughout this AMAZING time I've been having..

With that being said, here I go. Basically, I've been hooking up with this girl for 2 months now. It just took a step further last weekend as we went on our first 2 "official" sober dates. They went extremely well. However, were both graduating college this week and are only going to be in town for about a week and a half. We have NOT discussed what were doing after we graduate.

As far as I'm concerned I've just been rolling with it and whatever happens, happens, but I don't want to leave with a big ? as to where her and I stand. I've been waiting for her to bring it up, which she hasn't yet, because I know that its basically the girls responsibility to bring up the whole "what are we talk." But time IS ticking and I honestly don't know if she is going to bring it up, which leads me to my question: WTF SHOULD I DO?

Do I bring it up to her on the last night here? Do I just let it go and hope that she brings it up?

Basically my dilemma here is that were both going to be in NYC this summer and probably for a long time. This girl is PERFECT and I want to be with her when I'm home, and I'm pretty sure that she does also which is why this is weird that it hasn't been discussed.

What are you guys' thoughts?

Thanks again.

 

[morepoonplease]

i don't see the problem here if you're both going to be in the same place...

 

[Kailex]

This girl is PERFECT and I want to be with her when I'm home, and I'm pretty sure that she does also which is why this is weird that it hasn't been discussed.

What are you guys' thoughts?

Thanks again.

Hello oneitis.
The girl is PERFECT? Really? She has absolutely no flaws? She has no wrong to her?

Just keep waiting. And please, see other women as well. You're all strung out as if a meteor was about to hit the Earth in 2 weeks. It's not, the world will continue and so will you.

If she wants to be with you, she'll ask, she'll let you know. DON'T bring it up. If the conversation never happens, you have your answer. You're just afraid of her NOT bringing it up and everything fizzing out into nothingness. So what? You'll be at NYC. Do you know how many attractive women live there?

If this doesn't follow through between you and her, you will plenty of opportunities down the road.

You obviously AREN'T sure that she feels this way about you, because you're asking US. Look, I'll be honest, the moment YOU bring it up to her, you'll probably scare her off. She MIGHT have thought about it, but if you ask, she'll think that you are dependent on her. Don't show all of your cards immediately just because there's a symbolic "meteor about to collide with the Earth's surface".

So... to answer your question: WTF SHOULD I DO?

With her... just NOTHING. Let her bring it up, no matter WHAT. If she really cares, she will. If she doesn't, move on. Get ready for your move, you probably have more important things to worry about.

 

[vatoloco]

If she wants to be with you, she'll ask, she'll let you know. DON'T bring it up. If the conversation never happens, you have your answer. You're just afraid of her NOT bringing it up and everything fizzing out into nothingness.

^^^

This.

Something else that caught my eye was the sentence "I've been hooking up with this girl for 2 months now." If the girl hasn't asked you to be exclusive, maybe she just sees it as "hooking" up as well. What makes you so sure she wants to be with you once school is over?

 

[marinetti]

Yeah, this sounds like a lack of communication to me.

Why on earth haven't you brought it up yet? Women want men who LEAD. Grow a pair and define the relationship already.

You wanna make it work when you're in NYC? Then TELL HER.

 

[Sandow]

Yea I don't see the problem either if you're both going to be in NYC. That's probably why she hasn't brought it up.

If I were in your shoes I wouldn't say anything. I would just proceed as normal.

Though if there is a part of the story that you haven't told us, which sounds like there is, then bring it up in very cool manner. I would never say, "so what are we going to be when we move?" or "so what's going to happen to us." That just sounds weak and insecure.

Just be nonchalant about it. Make it sound like it really doesn't matter to you and whatever happens you're ok with. If you make it sound like this she'll work hard for your attention.

 

[amoka]

Kailex got everything you need... to summarize, DO NOT bring it up. In fact, if she brings it up, your response: "we'll see" or "I'll think about it.."

 

[DJx420]

Thanks for all the responses guys, I appreciate it.

Now as per Sandow's response...Yes, theres a HUGE story behind this that if I were to explain it would go on for DAYS.

I'll try to sum it up. Basically, since Sophmore year of college we've had our "random nights" of hooking up. She always knew I liked her but for whatver reason (she was with someone else, I fvcked it up, etc) we never quite made it to sex. That lasted pretty much up to the beginning of this year, which is when I laid my foot down and basically said we either take it to the next step or this is done, and she chose the later, which at that point I was okay with.

Then comes spring break this year. She was ALL OVER me the whole week but I kept pushing her off because to be honest I didn't want to go down that rabbit hole again. Finally on the last night she BEGGED me to come back with her and I went back and we had AMAZING sex. Since then we've been hooking up basically every night we've been going out. She asked me to one of her Sorority functions this past Friday and after we came back here, took a nap, and then went out for a nice Dinner...

On top of that, her best friends are like my best girl friends, and they love her and I together. Thats basically why this is such a weird situation. As much as I want to bring it up, I bit the bullet last time and am not doing it this time. I just wanted your guys' opinion on the matter as this is quite the unique situation.

 

[NewAndImproved]

Thanks for all the responses guys, I appreciate it.

Now as per Sandow's response...Yes, theres a HUGE story behind this that if I were to explain it would go on for DAYS.

I'll try to sum it up. Basically, since Sophmore year of college we've had our "random nights" of hooking up. She always knew I liked her but for whatver reason (she was with someone else, I fvcked it up, etc) we never quite made it to sex. That lasted pretty much up to the beginning of this year, which is when I laid my foot down and basically said we either take it to the next step or this is done, and she chose the later, which at that point I was okay with.

Then comes spring break this year. She was ALL OVER me the whole week but I kept pushing her off because to be honest I didn't want to go down that rabbit hole again. Finally on the last night she BEGGED me to come back with her and I went back and we had AMAZING sex. Since then we've been hooking up basically every night we've been going out. She asked me to one of her Sorority functions this past Friday and after we came back here, took a nap, and then went out for a nice Dinner...

On top of that, her best friends are like my best girl friends, and they love her and I together. Thats basically why this is such a weird situation. As much as I want to bring it up, I bit the bullet last time and am not doing it this time. I just wanted your guys' opinion on the matter as this is quite the unique situation.

Sounds like a typical college relationship. Not be a downer but I speak from experience--this fling probably won't last, even if you are in the same city.

Not even a year ago, I was getting ready for senior week. Everyone treated it as the last time when they could hook up with someone they were attracted to. And that's just what happened.

 

[DJx420]

Yeah, but this isn't a typical "ohh, I haven't hooked up with you ever before, lets do this," thing. Trust me when I tell you its more than that. She's been sleeping over nightly, get some sober morning sex in, been going out on a few dates here and there...and shes in the group of girls that I consider (and vice-versa) to be my best "girl friends." So my thought process is telling me that she wouldn't have been pursuing this for the past 5-6 weeks if she didn't want something more, because if she doesn't and shes planning on dropping me once we leave, it'll be weird (between me and her) and I think were beyond that. My personal opinion is she wants this to work (maybe its just what I want). If she didn't, it would've been the 1 night thing and we would've just went right back to being friends. But no, its been a consistent thing since the first time so who knows..

 

[Kailex]

Yeah, but this isn't a typical "ohh, I haven't hooked up with you ever before, lets do this," thing. Trust me when I tell you its more than that. She's been sleeping over nightly, get some sober morning sex in, been going out on a few dates here and there...and shes in the group of girls that I consider (and vice-versa) to be my best "girl friends." So my thought process is telling me that she wouldn't have been pursuing this for the past 5-6 weeks if she didn't want something more, because if she doesn't and shes planning on dropping me once we leave, it'll be weird (between me and her) and I think were beyond that. My personal opinion is she wants this to work (maybe its just what I want). If she didn't, it would've been the 1 night thing and we would've just went right back to being friends. But no, its been a consistent thing since the first time so who knows..

You can't be 100% sure of what she wants.

STOP sweating it so much.
Just let things happen.

Why is she sleeping over nightly??? You're creating a terrible co-dependence already. Is she homeless?

Oh man, I can see this one spiraling out of control. I REALLY, REALLY hope she's that much into you, because if in 2 weeks she decides that she wants to spread her wings without you, you are going to be DEVASTATED. You're basically married already without even having the LTR phase.

You say you are sure that you two are past that phase... well, if you are so sure, why are you posting here?

You're obviously insecure about SOMETHING.
You're obviously worried that she doesn't care about you as much as you do about her... and you know what they say about the person that cares the most.

If it's been consistent, then why are you so worried? I mean, you said you are going to the same city, so what's the big deal? I just don't get what you are so worked up about. It's not like she's going to Cali and you're going to NYC.

Probably in her mind, she already knows you two are going to NYC, so it'll just transition over there.