Learning to bite your tongue

[old married dude]

How does one do this?

I wing for a friend & of course we face some difficult situations & the problem is that neither of us can really control what slips out of our mouths. Here's a good example, I was talking to a girl to try and get her hooked up with my friend. She asked how tall he was since she saw him from afar, and I told her he's 5'8". She replied "Ugh way too short, he'd never have a chance with me." This girl was maybe 5'2" mind you. I said to her "Well that's OK b/c he's looking for someone genuine, not a superficial b1tch." She just glared at me & walked off. Then some random guy standing next to me high-fived me which I thought was pretty funny.

I realize this is probably not very DJ-like behavior, but I've always been a smart-a$$ who's quick to tell someone exactly what I think. It's been my downfall quite a few times & I could maybe just use some pointers on how to handle this. I should have just walked away, but couldn't for some reason.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

I'm not really seeing anything wrong. I suppose you could learn to say more clever things in those situations, but I wouldn't really recommend biting your tongue. Right now you sound like some of the most successful naturals I know.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

That is awesome.

I think that speaking your mind is actually DJ-like behavior that can work in your favor.

However, I do see how there are circumstances that can get you in trouble i.e. wing-manning it for a bro.

I don't see how anyone can give you advice on how to keep your mouth shut in social situations. That just takes some old fashioned restraint.

In the particular situation that you mention, it is not like your remark killed it for your friend. However, it might have been possible to have warmed her up to your friend despite her bullsh*t parameters on height.

Maybe next time realize that it is not a lost cause when a girl announces any parameters for guys such as this- Maybe tell her that you meant he's 5'8 when he's laying on his back!

 

[old married dude]

.
In the particular situation that you mention, it is not like your remark killed it for your friend. However, it might have been possible to have warmed her up to your friend despite her bullsh*t parameters on height.

Nice that you agree that these are bullsh1t parameters too b/c I certainly think so. I just thought what I did could be a problem since I read "Keep your cool" here a lot as advice. That's something I've always had trouble with. I'm 1/2 Scottish & 1/2 Italian which is a bad combo when it comes to keeping your cool.:yes:

I've just always been very blunt and outspoken.

 

[GetOveIT]

I can relate, sometimes i lose girls because i talk too much :/

 

[2crudedudes]

You shoulda said: "That's okay cuz you're kinda fat anyway" :crackup:

 

[bookman]

I think you did the right thing, there was no reason to bite your tongue in this situation. she was too arrogant and she sorta insulted your friend, why would you want to be nicer to women like that :]

 

[sodbuster]

Because SOCIETY tells us to worship women , they've never heard the truth before-it stuns them. We need more guys speaknig their minds-not less. Be HONEST, if you'd have said something like that to a GUY;would you be here asking us how to bite your tongue?

 

[old married dude]

I suppose I'll just continue to speak my mind then. I just need to always remember to speak my mind from 6 feet or more away, it's embarrassing to get slapped lol.

 

[dimarko]

ow, nice one old married dude! Made me laugh!
Here's my intake on the situation. Maybe it's not WHAT you say most of the time but HOW, once again I repeat, HOW you say those words. Did you present those words playfully? or monotonously with a cold face (aka poker face)?
Keep close observation for a couple of days of how you present your speech.
But keep the honesty in your words.

Kind regards,
DiMarko

 

[old married dude]

ow, nice one old married dude! Made me laugh!
Here's my intake on the situation. Maybe it's not WHAT you say most of the time but HOW, once again I repeat, HOW you say those words. Did you present those words playfully? or monotonously with a cold face (aka poker face)?
Keep close observation for a couple of days of how you present your speech.
But keep the honesty in your words.

Kind regards,
DiMarko

I said it with a straight poker face...she got the point that I was serious.

 

[Proselytiser]

You just need to be even funnier in your delivery. Not to make her laugh, to make other people laugh

 

[Lexington]

Yup, you could just lighten up your delivery or you could maybe be a little less harsh with your insult. She's 5'2 and that's not very tall. Maybe you should have asked her, "So, you're into tall guys, huh?" She'd probably nod. Then pat her on the head and say with a smile, "yeah.....good luck with that!"

 

[Proselytiser]

"Look at you, you're a walking ******* - even for me! And I'm not even that tall! You don't have some weird kneecap fetish or something do ya? Weirdo"