KILLING by Dr. Paul Dobransky

[Interceptor]

I often come across many many threads here from men looking for guidance, and trying to make sense of their lives. Not sure of which way to go, I often get PMs asking me for advice on following their heart or following someone else's advice on living and becoming a Man.
It is difficult to forge a true identity.
Many of us focus so much on the external, and temporary form, that we lose sight of within. And we see it reinforced with so many people, that we think it is NORMAL.
Well, it is common that people focus on the external.
But it is by no means NORMAL.
And it is not healthy.
It IS common that most men go about their lives flailing about, with no direction, identity, or solid healthy VALUES.
Much less do most men today even recognize the VALUE of High Character.
In a society that does not realy reward high character, and with so much external reinforcement, and so MANY people Rationalizing and Justifying their low class behavior, it really is no wonder young men today have NO IDEA what to do, where to go, and just what the Hell they should be doing with their lives, and their limited time.
DOnt be one of those rationalizing, justifying ass holes. Dont be one of those no moral code, no honor, and no respect males that seem to prowl the world....
these males are uninitiated, and completely at a loss to what IS true honorable behavior from a mature, masculine man.

Think about this for a second...
you may not have a good sens of Self, or identity, or values right now.
So you come to a place like this , or other reosurces, where there are also many misguided men looking for answers.
Oftentimes, the LOUDEST voice is the one listened to...
...but that doesnt mean that the LOUDEST Voice is the one TO LISTEN TO.
It most often times is not THE CORRECT Voice TO listen to.

So, you listen to that loud voice telling you that it is 'weak' and 'femenine' and 'not Alpha' to be courteous, or have feelings, and be sensitive, comapssionate, and be an honorable man.
So you think : "Cool, Ill do that."
And then you have no happiness or true fulfillment and satisfaction.
Unless you are a cynical , narcissistic sociopath....

Be careful of what you put in your MINDS.
Dont be fooled.
Dont be tricked.
And dont be told that using your intuition and discernement are wrong


Please understand two MAJOR concepts you MUST take away from this:


The true teacher/ mentor/guide seeks to EDUCATE, NOT INDOCTRINATE.
Be wary of those who wish to SILENCE others, to not offer opposing views, and seek to DOMINATE ALL conversation in the matter.


Having EXPERIENCE in a circumstance, is NOT the SAME as HAVING EXPERTISE.
One who experiences something, is not necessarily an EXPERT on the subject matter. Use your wisdom and intuition.
You are responsible for being able to discern good advice from a good source, and bad advice from a bad source.



So as some of you may know Im a big fan of Dr. Paul Dobransky , and subscribe to his email newsletters.
It is interesting that he deals with the theme that many men face in following one's dreams, or fulfilling your father's dreams.
Many men are conflicted.
And Dr. Paul lays it out extermely well here.

Please read this:

Gentlemen,



Time to KILL!



Whoa. What’s this one going to be about?



Not spending your time on leisure.



Not just “getting motivated.”



I did some killing today.



That’s right. I admit it. I did it.



I approached three men who have not honored my identity or the value I have brought their lives, and said, “It’s dead.”



No can do.



Can’t be wasting my time.



They are very important and powerful, mind you. It was scary. But I did it anyway.



But I had to kill them… the poor relationships that is. Time to “clean house.”



It’s like the old film, Old Yeller. The dog is dying, so you have to kill it.



Maybe you have had to cut off a relationship with a woman. I teach you all about how to get out of what’s WRONG for you and into what’s RIGHT for you in terms of a woman in the Omega Male Seminar on 21CDs. Chances are at some point you will have to end a relationship in the future too.



You have to “kill it.”



But you can’t “kill things” if you fear “death.”



Fearing endings, that is.



If you learn to “kill,” you’ll start to “kill it” at your career mission, and you’ll someday “make a killing” financially as a SIDE EFFECT, not the starting goal.



It’s TIME TO KILL.



What does this statement inspire in you?



Fear?



Revulsion?



Confusion?



Energy?



Inspiration?



Before any unstable Jeffrey Dahmer types start sharpening their knives (and I’m sure there aren’t any true unstables out there), it’s symbolic.



You need to not fear this word or its companion word, DEATH, in order to be fully effective in your life.

 

[Interceptor]

Tonight’s teleseminar was off the hook with insight and discussion. The topic was the importance of KILLING THE FATHER, using the new film, Wanted, as a story backdrop on our learning about male initiation and the cultivation of Mature Masculine Power.



What Freud and others who talk about the need to “kill the father to become a man” means, is that a guy has to someday, succeed his own dad, and become the alpha of the family.



What most guys go through are in three phases, sometimes “arresting” on just one and going through a whole lot of negativity for a looong time.



The first kind of guy may have a father who is very overinvolved and domineering, making decisions for him and making his life “too easy.” This is like the lawyer who insists his son has to be one too – or he won’t respect (or love) him as much. So the guy becomes a lawyer and feels this gnawing sensation that somehow it’s just “not him.”



He may or may not ever discover this was the wrong path, and may never come to see me because now he is many years invested and makes reasonable money. He marries a woman who likes that he is a lawyer, doesn’t feel a total commitment from her even though it all looks on the surface to be a good thing, feels vaguely dissatisfied with life, vaguely eventually unattracted to her, and divorce eventually ensues.



His work goes down the toilet, with the marriage, and he has hard times ahead. Maybe in this wasteland he discovers that there is something more than just imitating his dad.



The second kind of guy realizes there is something kind of narcissistic about dad demanding he become a clone of the old man. The key to spotting narcissism and win/lose deals with people (including dads) is in the mindOS ebook, and visually demonstrated live on camera by me in the mindOS DVDs 2nd edition.



This makes him resentful that his dad does this to him, and he really, really REBELS. He thinks his dad is a jerk, and vows not just to not be like him “when he is a man” but to be his OPPOSITE.



So if his dad is a surgeon, he becomes a nurse. If his dad is a lawyer, he joins Greenpeace and opens a crystal store etc.



With time, after enjoying a few years of “sticking it to the man” and all his dad represents, he gets stuck or worse – ends up with the attitude of the film, Into The Wild. Buck the system, the man, dad, and put one’s self in peril.



GUESS WHAT?



For decades, men have heard all about how they often do “self-defeating behaviors.”



I’ve looked at this face to face recently with the knowledge that the brain “always tries to serve us.”



So it doesn’t make sense that there is even such a thing as “self-defeating behavior.”



Now I know why.



Because society hasn’t been paying attention to something CRUCIAL – that MEN THINK DIFFERENTLY THAN WOMEN, and HAVE DIFFERENT INSTINCTS.



Here is what I mean:



When a guy has no idea what’s in the Mature Masculine Power CDs – what’s happening in the culture, and what to do about it for yourself - or lacks the Mature Masculine Power DVDs – the HOW TO of growing masculinity, initiation into male maturity, and harvesting that power – then he is in a bind.



He is looking for a father, can’t symbolically “kill his father, and succeed to the throne” therefore. And then he is just stuck in some limbo land between adolescence and adulthood, waiting for the perfect father to come and teach him, rescue him, “make him a man,” guide him, protect him, and so on…



Since his instincts are driving him behind the scenes – this is really what the “unconscious” is by the way – they are calling for initiation – for fathering – and the only thing that hears this call is the environment itself.



The environment of work, the environment of the social scene, the environment of friends, the media, the outdoors in the case of Into The Wild…



And on some unconscious level, the boy-man’s brain is figuring, “Hell, ok, I’ll let the environment father me…”



So he feels a slight bump in masculinity level by “throwing himself into the fire,” “trial by fire,” or “going into the wild to discover myself.”



It’s an unconscious wish for health and growth – a positive reflex on the part of the brain – but has no understanding of this:



The ENVIRONMENT IS NOT YOUR FATHER.



You can’t “kill it,” to succeed to the throne, or fill your father’s shoes through it.



It is RANDOM.



And there is the problem that makes men look like they are “self defeating” at times. They want fathering from the environment, and it doesn’t satisfy.



Sometimes things seem to go your way and sometimes they don’t.



Sometimes the world seems to assist you in your favor and sometimes it does NOT.



Sometimes it gives you obvious lessons and sometimes it seems to have NOTHING to offer your growth.



That’s because it is NOT YOUR FATHER.



It’s RANDOM.



So Guy #2 can also go for years resenting his father, trying to be his opposite, and going out into the world in hopes that that alone will “make a man of him.”



It won’t.



There need to be guides presiding, helping, disciplining, and mentoring.



Which on my part, I am trying to give to you in everything we offer at www.doctorpaul.net, something like “perfect father in a box,” based entirely on the certainty and reliability of science.



In last night’s teleseminar (which you can still download IMMEDIATELY as an mp3 by going HERE), we go over all the ways that men can figure out how to get some mentoring.



In the Mature Masculine Power DVDs, we go over all the ways a man can find his way to a real and complete INITIATION into the life of a real man.

 

[Interceptor]

This is a THIRD kind of guy. He realizes his father is imperfect, maybe a little narcissistic, does not follow exactly in his footsteps.



He rejects him, rebels, and maybe tries on being his father’s OPPOSITE in role and career.



But he realizes soon that that doesn’t work either.



He has the ultimate insight that his father, whether good, great, terrible, a jerk, abusive, whatever he may be – STILL had lessons to teach and competence that he’s given, lessons, traits, habits, and ultimately GENETICS too.



The third man HARVESTS all of this REGARDLESS of his father’s nature, successes or failures, and makes it HIS OWN.



That’s Mature Masculine Power, and it will be yours, no matter what happened between you and your father.



Whether a great father or an awful one, you don’t wish for the environment to “make a man of you” anymore, and you stop what has been called “self-defeating behavior.”



It never was really. It was just your brain trying to get you initiated into adulthood.



In so doing, you will have beaten the fear of death, which leaves nothing else in life to fear.



You are a real man who can walk unimpeded through the ups and downs and challenges and victories uncrippled by fear or “being stuck.”



You are ready to “kill it” then.



We are addressing all of this in the coming August Masculine SUPERCONFERENCE on Aug 21-24 (FOUR DAYS), in Chicago, for about a fifth the cost of the recent London Bootcamp. Just write me at paul@doctorpaul.net.



Would you be surprised to know that weddings are for women ONLY?



To the ancient Greeks, they were considered a “funeral for the single girl,” and the birth of a true woman.



Guess what? There’s nothing formal for us anymore.



Initiation into manhood is the only equivalent for us in importance. It is a “funeral for the single boy,” and the birth of a real man.



For another newsletter at another time perhaps. Think about it…





Dr Paul

 

[ItsOnNow]

That hit a note. Esp the topic of values/identity and high character. I am trying to figure out my values and identity, may be suffering an identity crisis. As for character, I havent always acted the highest of character. Although I try. As for father/son issues, obviously aiming for the third type.

 

[dannyegg4575]

Great post Inceptor.

Our minds are often looking for something or someone to blame. We cling desperately for guidance yet the answers are already within.

You know, it’s interesting when you can silence the inner self, you find answers to all your questions.

I’ve read a lot of books mentioning to blame your parents but forgive them for their faults, they didn’t know better. But to all honesty, I don’t think it’s their fault. I think that the fault realy lies within. Your parents did what they knew best about life and educated you with the wisdom and knowledge that they had. Problem is, our ego prevented us to listen to their wisdoms.

I don’t know about a lot of people out there but growing up, I gave my parents a lot of grief. They wanted me to study hard, eat right, exercise… etc… I did none of those things. They taught me all the values that I needed to know to cope with bumps and hurdles in life, but yet, I was too busy having fun.

So, who is to blame? Our parents? Our friends? Our pet fish?

When problems strike, oddly enough, the inner voice of their wisdom became extremely audible.

Many of us look at others as scapegoats and others to blame, but we never really look at ourselves being the number problem in our lives.

Kill your parents? No, I don’t think that’s the problem. I think you should kill all the negative habits you’ve picked up along the way. Your parents didn’t do anything to you but tried to inspire good values in you; given the resources they have, given the best of their abilities.

Just like nature and growth, it is in the “death of oneself” that you can reborn. I like to compare these negative habits with the weeds in the back garden. By looking within for all the negative traits you have attained, you can remove the “weeds” planted. It is by removing the weeds from your garden slowly, pulling out the roots you can prevent them from sucking away all the nutrients of your soil (in this case, our hearts). And you can only do this one day at a time. Eventually, the garden will grow again given the richness of the soil and the nutrients you put into it.

 

[Interceptor]

Bump.

 

[LovelyLady]

bump

 

[DanelMadr]

I think your post, Interceptor, was much better than Dr. Paul's one.

I don't say it is not true but it is common sense and principles made in to a package for a sale. I find something weird about Dr. Paul (I guess he is gay) and he can't explain things in a manner where I wouldn't have to rewind 3 times. His lack of orator skills and the fact he seems that he has mess in his own thoughts and ideas, repulse me. Keep It Simple Stupid is always the best way.

Also his straight commercial effort is not helping. 'I will tell you how to fix this....in my new DVD.'

I know how to fix my problems, everyone does. Stop reading and buying dvds and start doing something about it.

Being ready to die. Not afraid of the death. That is the way. Yes. Everyone who was forced to fight in serious fight knows that. Samurais knew that. You have to be brave. But you can't teach that to anyone. everyone has to come to it by it's own. Yes, you need mentoring...to see your father be brave to have an example. He is right in that but he is wrong trying to teach that by talking about it on a dvd for 29.99$. It doesn't work like that. So he makes a dvd 'How to meet your real life mentor.' for 19.99$.

Don't be a pvssy and join the Marines for free.