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Kill the Ego or I am the Prize?

Voice

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For all you enlightened Dons out there. Which one is it?

I've been going through a personal crisis. Forget girls, I'm trying to discover myself and let go of these deep fears and insecurities. Damm its been tough. I've tried to Be A Man, and it worked yet I still never felt fulfilled. What I just realized the whole 'I am a prize' mentality is totally ego based. It feels good to be high on yourself. To feel like the man is awesome no doubt, but underneath it all I couldn't deny that the same fears and insecurities were still there and I became depressed.

So I've been reading "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, and it has totally opened up my eyes to why I've been suffering. I've created this persona or ego from all past events in my life and I've been living in fear because of the perceived future. When in truth the only thing you truly have is the present moment. No past events can define who you are. Nobody's opinion defines who you are. You just are.

How can you see yourself as the prize and not have an ego at the same time?
 

LDBaha

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It's tough it's a big time paradox.

I guess the only way you can actually feel like the prize without being 'ego' based its when You ARE the prize. Become the prize and believe it fully that you are a great guy and that's it.

Just my 2cents
 

Al Moh.

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The I am the prize mentality is not about feeding your ego but killing your desperation. It's about putting the focus on you and not on girls.

I think there is a big misunderstanding.

Al summons up two guys and a woman.


First guy: "I am THE PRIZE! I am better then you guys! Damn, I am sooo sexy!"

Now obviously this guy has a big ego. Bad.

Second guy: "Look at this beautiful woman. I'd like to date her. But alas! She's trying to play me. But no, I am the prize, she ought to catch me, I am not going to give in to her games."

This guy has got it right. The Prize mentality is about not supplicating to WOMEN. It has NOTHING to do with feeling better than other people in general, just making you more confident und killing your desire.

Think of yourself as the prize whenever you interact with a pretty woman with the prospect of going for her. But don't boost your ego.
 

Hughman

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LDBaha said:
Is that some pook stuff?
Pook has said it, though I wouldn't be surprised if he lifted that from Anti-Dump.
 

Voice

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Al moh I know what you're saying. However the first and second guy if you think about it aren't much different. The second guy still identifies himself as the prize. It may be more subtle in the way he does it, but the ego is still there.

Lol the big question is do Buddhism and Bytches mix?
 

Voice

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Its tough because these philosophies contradict each other. All I'm looking for is to be happy. Obviously girls aren't going to provide that I learned that. I just want some inner peace and acceptance before I start with girls again.
 

DJ Barcardi

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I think its all about the state your feeling. Nimbus state. RSD.
 

Maxtro

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The two are independent of each other and yet they are also connected.

Kill the ego:
I'm not going to approach her because she is going to reject me. It's going to make me look bad, I don't want to be embarrassed. She will look down on me etc.

Without an ego you wouldn't about the worry about the consequences. Since you are not worried about your ego being hurt because of a rejection, you ask her out and don't really care about her response.

I am the prize:
This is about believing and knowing that you are good enough. She is the one who has to prove herself to you. You are full of confidence and self-esteem.

How they work together
When you know that you are the prize you are not worried about rejection. Protecting your ego is not a concern.
 

Lexington

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As stated by others, believing yourself to be the prize isn't about ego at all. It's about setting standards and expectations so that you can be happy. When you qualify women instead of trying to qualify yourself to them, you become far more attractive.

Desperation is a stinky cologne and people -men and women alike- can sniff it out from a mile away. By being the prize, you invite the women to pursue instead of coming off like a needy and desperate guy who has nothing going for him.

And yes, humility is incredibly important. You can lie to everyone, but NEVER lie to yourself. Admit to yourself all your flaws, your imperfections and your fears. Don't dwell on them, but accept them. You'll find that when you embrace yourself completely, it is very liberating and you will be better equipped to meet your goals.
 
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