keeping a distance and always being busy.

[shyguy]

Well i took this one chick out yesterday for like the 4 or 5th time already. WE havent ****ed yet, cause she stated she was a virgin and likes to take things slow. i think she dumped 2 guys cause they tried to get into her pants to quick. So i kept her on the side, while im talking to other chicks.

Well she wanted to hang out and I said okay so we went out. This girl was so much more responsive then the other dates, all over me, and couldnt keep her hands off me.

I know it has been said before, but when u show girls you have other important stuff going on, can go without them, and there for your spare time, they want you even more. I didnt keep calling her, just to setup the date. She never knew what i was doing, but I always let her know I had things to do. This girl is into me alot more then im into her. Hmm If i bang out with her, Im in trouble, she'll be attached to me. I still made her have a very high IL in me after the first few dates and added more mystery. What could be better? Oh yeah, more time to have stopped by the Holiday INN. LMFAO

 

[becker]

Hey this thread hits home. See, I believe your tactic works, but making myself the guinea pig of an experiment with an HB10 that I've been working on sort of shows that sometimes this tactic doesn't work out that well.

See, an ultra-hot girl has options. She has guys hitting on her, and it's always boiling down to the fact that if you're pursuing her, she's maybe pursuing a guy that she feels is hot and isn't really giving HER the time of day. Who knows. This all ties together with the whole "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" too. I know there are some girls, however, who most people would agree are HOT. This girl is one of them, that's for sure.

I say that making a girl have to chase you is fine if she's just a little insecure and slightly desperate. I mean that it has to be somewhat slight, not overly so. If this is the case, then she'll probably chase you, and making yourself less available is a much more viable tactic.

 

[shyguy]

i agree

i agree on that totally. If she was a 10 or whatever that would be a different story. She is like a 7 , so i dont have to worry about those sorts of things.

 

[joey37]

I disagree. I think the hotter the girl is, the more she'll respond to a guy that puts her second. These women are use to having guys fall over themselves for them, more than likely she hasn't had too many guys not do that. But, if you back off and show her you're not like the rest, it most likely will get her more interested.

 

[becker]

Originally posted by joey37
I disagree. I think the hotter the girl is, the more she'll respond to a guy that puts her second. These women are use to having guys fall over themselves for them, more than likely she hasn't had too many guys not do that. But, if you back off and show her you're not like the rest, it most likely will get her more interested.

joey37, I know what you say seems to make sense, but speaking from personal experience, it doesn't seem to actually work that way, at least not for me. It seems like more theory than reality, although I'd love for anything for it to be the way it always works.

I've found that if a girl is hot, yes, she gets all this attention, but backing off won't just automatically make her feel like "oh, he's so different", and then she'll fall head over heels for you. It's more like you have to give her attention first, make her enjoy your company, and THEN back off. The problem with this, as you may see, is that you have to give her enough attention FIRST, and that's the most difficult part because the theory is that if you give her too much attention, then she won't get drawn to you as much. It's like a double edged sword. It's like a circular thing. I hope you understand what I just wrote. It's sort of difficult to explain, but it is what my "experiment" with the HB10 right now is all about.

 

[Aramas]

While I agree there's something in this, I suspect it has more to do with displaying a lack of neediness or desperation rather than 'putting her second' or 'being busy'. Mental and emotional health are more important than being 'a challenge'.

 

[becker]

I agree on this one, and it's been something I've sort of been saying all along on this board.

The difficulty is probably determining what coming off needy and desperate entails. Like my situation right now. A girl flaked on me. I'd like to know why, but I certainly don't want to do it in a way that will make me seem all needy. My thought is to go up to her and just sort of employ some sarcasm and ask her, like "wait, we did say we were going to do something this weekend, right? Then let her explain. That was sort of abbreviated, but I don't want to type out what I'm actually going to say because I'm too lazy to do that. You get the gist.

 

[CLOONEY]

I beleive that this is the way to raise IL. However you cant just be playing games, the girl will sense this. You have to GENUINELY have other things to do. And NOT put her first.

However I also beleive that a girl will have initial interest for you. It is hard to raise this interest, if its not there, its not there. If it is high, it is hard to lower it unless you really fukc up.

 

[THA REALNESS]

Are you guys stoned??


I'
m bluounted right now!!! but that
s besides the point!!

How do you guys figure that more or less giving the chic the cold shulder and telling her your busy or acting busy and disinterested,will raise her IL ?? isn't this sort of backwards thinking even if it has DOC LOve written all over it?

Don't get me wrong ,the oppsite hounding a girl,won't get you far either.But can somebody break it down for me?? WHY DO PEPLE HERE ADVISE OTHERS TO IGNORE PEOPLE??

I'm not dissing anybody or nothing like that, but i wanna why do you ignore women and expect results??

 

[CLOONEY]

THA REALNESS, what do you propose instead?

The idea is, you dont ring them, dont seem desperate, absense makes the heart grow fonder, so to speak. But this only works if there is already initial IL! If it is not there, it wont raise anything because she wont be thinking about you anyways. However is she likes you, you could probably get away with calling her often, although after a while she may get sick of you. Make sense............?

 

[becker]

That pretty much sums it up Clooney. It all comes down to how much she's interested in you already before you pull out the cold shoulder bit. It's better if you don't ever have to go there, because that would mean her IL is probably sky high rather than borderline.

The difficulty of this, as I said before, is sort of a chicken/egg argument. You need to raise her IL in order for her to miss you, but in order for her to miss you, she needs to have a good IL in you.

 

[penkitten]

ok so once you raise the interest level and put them second, what is next.

everyone keeps posting these tips but they dont actually say what happens next.

i think that should be discussed.

are you going to ask her out next or are you going to let her come popping in and beg for your attention?

some guys are not knowing what to expect next....

do tell..........

 

[Ricky]

Originally posted by becker
joey37, I know what you say seems to make sense, but speaking from personal experience, it doesn't seem to actually work that way, at least not for me. It seems like more theory than reality, although I'd love for anything for it to be the way it always works.

I've found that if a girl is hot, yes, she gets all this attention, but backing off won't just automatically make her feel like "oh, he's so different", and then she'll fall head over heels for you. It's more like you have to give her attention first, make her enjoy your company, and THEN back off. The problem with this, as you may see, is that you have to give her enough attention FIRST, and that's the most difficult part because the theory is that if you give her too much attention, then she won't get drawn to you as much. It's like a double edged sword. It's like a circular thing. I hope you understand what I just wrote. It's sort of difficult to explain, but it is what my "experiment" with the HB10 right now is all about.

And by doing this, you are demonstrating your value first, and then backing off which is the difference. If a girl isn't interested at all and you back off she doesn't care. If she is mildly interested, you may have to show her a little more of your value before backing off.

To me your relationship with anyone is like a stock. You always want to keep it high. Always leave a girl wanting a bit more.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by penkitten
ok so once you raise the interest level and put them second, what is next.

everyone keeps posting these tips but they dont actually say what happens next.

i think that should be discussed.

are you going to ask her out next or are you going to let her come popping in and beg for your attention?

some guys are not knowing what to expect next....

do tell..........

It's all about balance. Both guys and women should have active lives of their own. Both should have their individual friends, hobbies, jobs, chores and so on. People shouldn't forgo those interactions just to be forever available for their love interest.

Get your day to day things done and spend time together when your schedules permit. If you are too busy to have free time for the other, maybe you should wait until you can.

There is a quote that says "I swear on my life and my love of it; I will not live for the sake of another (wo)man, nor shall I ask him to live for mine." Many people feel that morally right to forsake your own needs for those of another person. Many times these people not appreciated for this and their own needs suffer.

The key is balance and this does not mean playing the waiting game to raise someone's IL. Life still goes on whether or not you are with the other person, be a part of it.