"Just go talk to her"...

[jcb1772]

I have a problem. It's simple: I can't talk to girls well. I honestly don't think I look all that bad (I'm skinny and pale though). Yet most girls don't seem to be interested in me more than a friend. Maybe I present myself too inconfidently? I'm not sure, but girls don't flirt with me at all.

There's one specific girl who I'd really like to start talking to. Actually, this may be one in few girls who actually have shown interest (eye contact, nervousness around me, last year's drama between us, etc). There's a dance coming up in a few weeks, semi-formal I think, that'd I would love to ask her to dance with me. BTW not an ideal dance where you take girls TO, just want to dance with her once I'm there.

So before that, I'd like to start talking to her more. I see her in one class and quite frequently in the hallway, both when she's alone and with group. The advice "just go talk to her", while what I need to do, is too vague for me. I realize I might not get much help because it largely depends on the situation/circumstance, but I'm very uncreative at convo with girls so...maybe someone has some tips on this? (FWIW yes, I've read through most of the relevant Bible entries).

 

[i am me]

stand up straight, warm up by talking to a few people before you go there, and talk to her. let it flow naturally....what i mean by that is just have fun with her, tease her, notice something about what she's wearing/doing, etc.

 

[Exo]

Try this mindgame. Imagine your going up and talking to her from the 3rd person, in full detail like its on TV. When you get this worked out do this from 2nd person( I sugest POV of someone standing immidiatly behind you). Now when you have this worked out do this from first person perspective. So now you have a whole game plan ready.

Just do a quick run through of the 'game plan' before heading up and remember to FEEL as well as watching. Good luck bro!

 

[j8snx1]

Heh...if you got a whole gameplan running through your head every time before you approach a girl, you might be thinking a little too much.

However, I do like the idea of warming up by talking to some friends along the way, just to get some pressure off of your back.

Anywho, the "just go talk to her" advice is simple, but too vague. Here's a better one:

"You don't need cheesy lines or catchy phrases to start a conversation. Simple Hey's and Hello's kick it off just fine."

As for being creative, you can try my little trick:

Tap her left or right shoulder. As she turns towards that direction, just step over to the opposite side. That usually gets the girl laughing, so I warm her up a little bit before jumping in.

As for convo:

Don't stress! Talk about the upcoming test, the funny look on the teacher's face when she says HOMEWORK, or that new earring that no one has noticed on her yet. If all else fails, just ask open-ended questions and branch out different topics from there.

 

[jcb1772]

Thanks for the tips.

Also, about that semi-formal dance...exactly what are those kind of dances like? I've never been to one like that. Are these the kinds where it's natural to ask girls to dance (ie a mini-prom?) with slow, love dances and stuff? I'm still considering asking the girl to dance with me there.