Guys, I've been in a relationship for the past few months. It started off slow, but seemed to be building. She did everthing correctly on the first few dates such as kiss closing, eye contact, kino, everything.
Not only is this woman smart but she's beautiful and very sexy/provocative. She's got a great body and what was delightful was the fact that she liked being naked. I mean, when we walked into either her or my place, she would usually take off all her clothes and leave them on a chair near the door. Nice.
And when we were out, she'd be the first one to hold my hand, or want to kiss me, or hug. Very nice. She always smiled when she saw me and very often insisted on paying half of whatever the date cost us. In the past few months, we spent a couple of long weekends at beach resorts and she insisted on paying at least half.
I said the relationship started slow and although things were starting to warm up in the past few weeks, occasionally she'd seem preoccupied, especially in bed. She just seemed distracted as though she were thinking of someone else. Of course we talked briefly about previous relationships, and one night, just on a hunch I asked "If it were possible, do you ever wish for 'closure' with some old relationships"? I said this feeling like all of my past life is over with and all my old girlfriends are gone. But she said "Yes, I wish I could sit down with my previous boyfriend and just ask him WHY he broke up with me..."
Duh?
Guys, she likes to send some of these 'joke' emails that go around. You know, funny photos, short movie clips the usual stuff. At first, she would send at least one email a day, maybe two to all her friends, with about 10 different addresses on the header. I didn't know who these people were but recently saw her previous boyfriend's email address and thought about going back through the emails. Sure enough, she was including her ex in all her emails.
I confronted her with this, but she said "These were all just joke emails. We're still friends, what's the big deal?" Then I found one from when we had been dating a couple of months, when she took a trip to England to visit her cousin. She sent an email to all her 'friends' (title "Having fun, wishing you were here") describing the great time she was having, then saying "Feel free to send me an email if you feel like it." At the time I got that, I thought "If she had said "RK, if YOU want to send me an email, please do", but because there were all these addresses I didn't recognize, I felt the email was rather impersonal, so I didn't respond.
I now recognize the addresses and there were five of her female friends, and then her previous boyfriend, followed by my address. Sheesh. And as I say, I went back through all her old emails to me, and whenever there was a joke or something she wanted send to all her 'friends', it always included him.
Gosh, what an ego-killer.
In the past few months, she's said and done things occasionally that didn't make sense. I always called her on it, and usually she explained, but sometimes ever the explanation seemed a bit odd. I asked some of my male and female friends and almost everyone said "Dude, you're looking for perfection. Stop being so picky." Especially my female friends who were also friends of hers thought I was being too 'uptight'.
It is true, in the past 8 weeks, I can tell she's really started to show signs I was truly in her life. Starting about 5 weeks ago, when I'd kiss her passionately, I could actually feel her body against mine and hear her deeply sigh as we stopped. It was real. Although sex with her still wasn't the best I've had, it was definitely getting better as well.
Then, this past weekend while she was out of town, I had a chance meeting with her old boyfriend! I couldn't believe it. I actually said "Wow, if I think you are who I think you are, I'm dating one of your ex girlfriends!" We got to talking about her and he was very forthcoming. He said he'd broken up with her about 3 times and that she refused to go. He said she continued to be friends with his parents even though he was dating someone else. I detected that he was getting an ego-rush from her continuing to contact him, even though he said he was 'creeped out' by her actions. He said that earlier this year, (apparently just after she and I had started dating) she got in her car and drove 4 hours to 'drop in' and visit his parents in another state, and that she stayed at their home the entire weekend!
I confronted her about this, and she said "But they said that I could go up and visit them one of these days". I said "I grew up learning that "One of these days is NONE of these days". Unless someone says something like "Please come to our home this Saturday afternoon at 3pm" or equally specific, it's NOT an invitation!" Saying "Drop in some time" is NOT an invitation. It's just being polite in American culture! Her previous boyfriend said his parents are kind people who just want to be nice to everyone and did not know how to tell her NO when she arrived at their home. Weird, huh?
I could go on with all the red flags that have only recently appeared, including the revelation of one big, fat, lie that she told me a few weeks ago.
I know, you're all saying "Yeah, good riddance! What's the big deal! You're a DJ! Why whine over this one!" And you're right. It's just that until I uncovered this stuff, I was really going on the feeling that she was "the one". I'll have a difficult time letting go of memories of that naked body.
D*mn, I hate when this happens.
Not only is this woman smart but she's beautiful and very sexy/provocative. She's got a great body and what was delightful was the fact that she liked being naked. I mean, when we walked into either her or my place, she would usually take off all her clothes and leave them on a chair near the door. Nice.
And when we were out, she'd be the first one to hold my hand, or want to kiss me, or hug. Very nice. She always smiled when she saw me and very often insisted on paying half of whatever the date cost us. In the past few months, we spent a couple of long weekends at beach resorts and she insisted on paying at least half.
I said the relationship started slow and although things were starting to warm up in the past few weeks, occasionally she'd seem preoccupied, especially in bed. She just seemed distracted as though she were thinking of someone else. Of course we talked briefly about previous relationships, and one night, just on a hunch I asked "If it were possible, do you ever wish for 'closure' with some old relationships"? I said this feeling like all of my past life is over with and all my old girlfriends are gone. But she said "Yes, I wish I could sit down with my previous boyfriend and just ask him WHY he broke up with me..."
Duh?
Guys, she likes to send some of these 'joke' emails that go around. You know, funny photos, short movie clips the usual stuff. At first, she would send at least one email a day, maybe two to all her friends, with about 10 different addresses on the header. I didn't know who these people were but recently saw her previous boyfriend's email address and thought about going back through the emails. Sure enough, she was including her ex in all her emails.
I confronted her with this, but she said "These were all just joke emails. We're still friends, what's the big deal?" Then I found one from when we had been dating a couple of months, when she took a trip to England to visit her cousin. She sent an email to all her 'friends' (title "Having fun, wishing you were here") describing the great time she was having, then saying "Feel free to send me an email if you feel like it." At the time I got that, I thought "If she had said "RK, if YOU want to send me an email, please do", but because there were all these addresses I didn't recognize, I felt the email was rather impersonal, so I didn't respond.
I now recognize the addresses and there were five of her female friends, and then her previous boyfriend, followed by my address. Sheesh. And as I say, I went back through all her old emails to me, and whenever there was a joke or something she wanted send to all her 'friends', it always included him.
Gosh, what an ego-killer.
In the past few months, she's said and done things occasionally that didn't make sense. I always called her on it, and usually she explained, but sometimes ever the explanation seemed a bit odd. I asked some of my male and female friends and almost everyone said "Dude, you're looking for perfection. Stop being so picky." Especially my female friends who were also friends of hers thought I was being too 'uptight'.
It is true, in the past 8 weeks, I can tell she's really started to show signs I was truly in her life. Starting about 5 weeks ago, when I'd kiss her passionately, I could actually feel her body against mine and hear her deeply sigh as we stopped. It was real. Although sex with her still wasn't the best I've had, it was definitely getting better as well.
Then, this past weekend while she was out of town, I had a chance meeting with her old boyfriend! I couldn't believe it. I actually said "Wow, if I think you are who I think you are, I'm dating one of your ex girlfriends!" We got to talking about her and he was very forthcoming. He said he'd broken up with her about 3 times and that she refused to go. He said she continued to be friends with his parents even though he was dating someone else. I detected that he was getting an ego-rush from her continuing to contact him, even though he said he was 'creeped out' by her actions. He said that earlier this year, (apparently just after she and I had started dating) she got in her car and drove 4 hours to 'drop in' and visit his parents in another state, and that she stayed at their home the entire weekend!
I confronted her about this, and she said "But they said that I could go up and visit them one of these days". I said "I grew up learning that "One of these days is NONE of these days". Unless someone says something like "Please come to our home this Saturday afternoon at 3pm" or equally specific, it's NOT an invitation!" Saying "Drop in some time" is NOT an invitation. It's just being polite in American culture! Her previous boyfriend said his parents are kind people who just want to be nice to everyone and did not know how to tell her NO when she arrived at their home. Weird, huh?
I could go on with all the red flags that have only recently appeared, including the revelation of one big, fat, lie that she told me a few weeks ago.
I know, you're all saying "Yeah, good riddance! What's the big deal! You're a DJ! Why whine over this one!" And you're right. It's just that until I uncovered this stuff, I was really going on the feeling that she was "the one". I'll have a difficult time letting go of memories of that naked body.
D*mn, I hate when this happens.
