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Journal - Approaches on street, at mall, etc.
- Thread starter Mindgamez
- Start date
I'll read it when I'll have time man!
Thursday, February 13th
Forgot to mention!
Went to Annies bar/club, where all the people from my school hangout.
Cool hangout. I met a bunch of people, including two hotties from my yoga class. Nice! Their names are Kayla and Kayla, lol.
But overall during the night, I was feeling kind of out of it to be honest. Doesn't matter, had lots of fun!
Let's go back to Saturday now.
Saturday, February 15th
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_kjf2J7Als
9:30 PM
I pick up Talya and Emily near their house. The two twins. I also go pick up Blondasian, and we then head to the club.
It was HB Mole's birthday. She arrived late.
We hugged. I chatted her friend which acted b1tchy at the 1st party I met her. Now, she was all friendly. Weird, mhm.
Talya took my hand and started grinding her ass on my crotch. I spun her around. She had the horny look, like she was expecting me to come in closer. And kiss her? Naah...
I grinded Blondasian and Emily. Blondasian did the black girl twerking on my crotch. Emily grinded me too.
The other girls I approached at the club, some of them were nice. But I'd say that it was mostly rejections. I wasn't in the mood at all at that point.
I had to leave at 12:30AM to go to La Boom where Bruno was celebrating his birthday with Denis, Fiodor, etc. And that's what I did.
On the way to the club, I'm solo approaching.
I see a group of 2 girls and 4 guys or so. I approach them crazy. I tell the fattie to kiss me on the cheek. I tell the HB8 to kiss me, and she goes in for the cheek kiss. I turn my head last second and kiss her on the lips HAHAHA. Owned
And yeah. Afterwards I just ran because I was late for La Boom.
So yeah,
Arrived at the club around 1:15AM or so. It was already pretty late. Most of the girls I approached gave me the b1tchy look. I was feeling very negative for some reason.
And it was hard for me to keep it light and fun. Though, it wasn't hard for me to approach.
It wasn't hard for me to keep going through the pain. I don't know, there was something about it that didn't faze me so much. And I just kept going.
At some point, I dance happily with some random group of 7s. I dance with some other dudes. Happy times. Though, it was filled with ****s to be honest.
On his side, Denis had already made out with 3 chicks. One of them being at least 8.5-9. He's a boss. I saw him pick her up in the air and make out with her like she was some angel from the sky.
Strip club,
We went to the strip club, because Bruno wanted and it was his birthday. Cool times.
I didn't pay for any dances, while everyone else did. Fvck that, I wasted so much cash last time LOL.
And I don't know why, but I had troubles getting hard while I was there. Because I knew there was no emotional connection between me and the dancers, I didn't care at all.
I don't know. Simply tits, it's so superficial. It's too simple.
The girl gives you a dance. You don't care about her, she doesn't care about you. She wants the money, you want the body. That's it.
And for some reason, I started feeling a bit depressed.
I felt like my game was starting to go down. I felt like I was going back to my old chody self. I don't know. I was feeling negative around girls nowadays. And I didn't care about seeing the nicest asses or tits at the strip. I couldn't care less.
If my game wasn't on point, nothing else felt on point.
And I'm realizing, as I'm writing this, that maybe the Game has taken a too important chunk of my life.
Or maybe do I simply need to stop associating my IDENTITY to the GAME?
So we went to go eat at McDonald's after. It was fun. It was the best part of the night. Just chilling with my buddies, just fooling around like crazy. It was much more fun than actually approaching. And then I had to leave.
4:30 AM
Walking back to my car, I realized something.
God isn't on my side. God hates us. God created us to suffer. To live through pain.
Why didn't he create us in a way that we only experience pleasure and fun? Why do we have to go through pain?
And I realized that maybe god us wants us to truly live, not to be delusionally happy.
And maybe that's why some photojournalists are willing to risk their lives in war torn countries by infiltrating the enemy's base and pretending to be one of theirs. It's scary as hell, but there's some thrill about it.
It's about the experience.
And realizing that god wasn't on my side, I felt such a relief.
I felt like I understood everything now. I understood that I wasn't different from others. Life is unfair and some people have it easier than others.
Life would suck if everyone was equal. That would mean everyone would be the same. No one's equal. Fvck it.
And isn't it the beauty of it? You can grow yourself as much as possible.
How boring would life be if the ONLY emotion you could feel is happiness? There's much more than happiness for you to experience.
God doesn't want you to be happy. He wants you to truly live. That's all.
Thursday, February 13th
Forgot to mention!
Went to Annies bar/club, where all the people from my school hangout.
Cool hangout. I met a bunch of people, including two hotties from my yoga class. Nice! Their names are Kayla and Kayla, lol.
But overall during the night, I was feeling kind of out of it to be honest. Doesn't matter, had lots of fun!
Let's go back to Saturday now.
Saturday, February 15th
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_kjf2J7Als
9:30 PM
I pick up Talya and Emily near their house. The two twins. I also go pick up Blondasian, and we then head to the club.
It was HB Mole's birthday. She arrived late.
We hugged. I chatted her friend which acted b1tchy at the 1st party I met her. Now, she was all friendly. Weird, mhm.
Talya took my hand and started grinding her ass on my crotch. I spun her around. She had the horny look, like she was expecting me to come in closer. And kiss her? Naah...
I grinded Blondasian and Emily. Blondasian did the black girl twerking on my crotch. Emily grinded me too.
The other girls I approached at the club, some of them were nice. But I'd say that it was mostly rejections. I wasn't in the mood at all at that point.
I had to leave at 12:30AM to go to La Boom where Bruno was celebrating his birthday with Denis, Fiodor, etc. And that's what I did.
On the way to the club, I'm solo approaching.
I see a group of 2 girls and 4 guys or so. I approach them crazy. I tell the fattie to kiss me on the cheek. I tell the HB8 to kiss me, and she goes in for the cheek kiss. I turn my head last second and kiss her on the lips HAHAHA. Owned
And yeah. Afterwards I just ran because I was late for La Boom.
So yeah,
Arrived at the club around 1:15AM or so. It was already pretty late. Most of the girls I approached gave me the b1tchy look. I was feeling very negative for some reason.
And it was hard for me to keep it light and fun. Though, it wasn't hard for me to approach.
It wasn't hard for me to keep going through the pain. I don't know, there was something about it that didn't faze me so much. And I just kept going.
At some point, I dance happily with some random group of 7s. I dance with some other dudes. Happy times. Though, it was filled with ****s to be honest.
On his side, Denis had already made out with 3 chicks. One of them being at least 8.5-9. He's a boss. I saw him pick her up in the air and make out with her like she was some angel from the sky.
Strip club,
We went to the strip club, because Bruno wanted and it was his birthday. Cool times.
I didn't pay for any dances, while everyone else did. Fvck that, I wasted so much cash last time LOL.
And I don't know why, but I had troubles getting hard while I was there. Because I knew there was no emotional connection between me and the dancers, I didn't care at all.
I don't know. Simply tits, it's so superficial. It's too simple.
The girl gives you a dance. You don't care about her, she doesn't care about you. She wants the money, you want the body. That's it.
And for some reason, I started feeling a bit depressed.
I felt like my game was starting to go down. I felt like I was going back to my old chody self. I don't know. I was feeling negative around girls nowadays. And I didn't care about seeing the nicest asses or tits at the strip. I couldn't care less.
If my game wasn't on point, nothing else felt on point.
And I'm realizing, as I'm writing this, that maybe the Game has taken a too important chunk of my life.
Or maybe do I simply need to stop associating my IDENTITY to the GAME?
So we went to go eat at McDonald's after. It was fun. It was the best part of the night. Just chilling with my buddies, just fooling around like crazy. It was much more fun than actually approaching. And then I had to leave.
4:30 AM
Walking back to my car, I realized something.
God isn't on my side. God hates us. God created us to suffer. To live through pain.
Why didn't he create us in a way that we only experience pleasure and fun? Why do we have to go through pain?
And I realized that maybe god us wants us to truly live, not to be delusionally happy.
And maybe that's why some photojournalists are willing to risk their lives in war torn countries by infiltrating the enemy's base and pretending to be one of theirs. It's scary as hell, but there's some thrill about it.
It's about the experience.
And realizing that god wasn't on my side, I felt such a relief.
I felt like I understood everything now. I understood that I wasn't different from others. Life is unfair and some people have it easier than others.
Life would suck if everyone was equal. That would mean everyone would be the same. No one's equal. Fvck it.
And isn't it the beauty of it? You can grow yourself as much as possible.
How boring would life be if the ONLY emotion you could feel is happiness? There's much more than happiness for you to experience.
God doesn't want you to be happy. He wants you to truly live. That's all.
Sunday, February 16th
Woke up at 7:30. literally 2h30 of sleep, not even. I don't feel like I even feel asleep one second.
Had to film something at the Buddhist temple for my dad. I was trying to keep social with the family even though I was feeling so dead.
Went to local mall, did my one approach. My voice was much more confident and deep. I was late for my bus, so I just said a quick compliment and let her walk away. She was 8.5.
TEXTING.
So I started texting this girl I didn't text since December 2012 LOL. It's been a year and a half, and she still remembered me. And we texted back and forth. She seemed interested. Though, I have to get a picture of her face before I meetup with her, lol.
And I texted that girl I number closed when I was with Denis Friday. Here's how it went. Read it, it's funny LOL. I did it Julien Style.
CONCLUSION
- Don't compare yourself to others so much. Whatever Denis gets has nothing to do with me. Life isn't fair for everyone. Doesn't mean I have disadvantages. On the contrary, I have great qualities that Denis doesn't have. I have more depth than most people my age. I'm more mature.
- If you friend zone the girls you meet, some of them will still want them to kiss or grind you. Yep.
- Do whatever it takes to flip an interaction around. LOL. It's funny.
- Get your sleep handled... It's not fun to be running on low sleep. Not fun at all...
- Do not associate yourself with the Game too much. It's not your identity. It simply is your craft. A professional works on his craft no matter what. Whether it ends up being good or bad, he has to keep working on it because it's vital to his survival (he makes money out of it). Well, for the game it's similar. You just keep working on it, not caring too much whether your craft is at it's best yet, because you just want to perfect your craft even better. And it's vital for your reproduction
you want pretty babies, don't you?
- God doesn't want you to live happy. He wants you to experience the full human experience. Whether it's pain, sorrow, fear, anger, this is what makes you human. Embrace it.
Woke up at 7:30. literally 2h30 of sleep, not even. I don't feel like I even feel asleep one second.
Had to film something at the Buddhist temple for my dad. I was trying to keep social with the family even though I was feeling so dead.
Went to local mall, did my one approach. My voice was much more confident and deep. I was late for my bus, so I just said a quick compliment and let her walk away. She was 8.5.
TEXTING.
So I started texting this girl I didn't text since December 2012 LOL. It's been a year and a half, and she still remembered me. And we texted back and forth. She seemed interested. Though, I have to get a picture of her face before I meetup with her, lol.
And I texted that girl I number closed when I was with Denis Friday. Here's how it went. Read it, it's funny LOL. I did it Julien Style.
What you guys think of it? Of course I wasn't abused as a child and don't suffer from any chronic depression. I just knew that she was the type of loving and caring person, which is why I decided to play with that. What should I say during the phone conversation? Hahahahaha... My goal is to setup a date.Me : Its Mindgamez. Happy valentine's day
Her : Thanks sweety xoxo I wanna see you
Me : Haha, im pretty sure i made your day with the waldo comment LOL. Ya me too
Her : Hey man this is Jonathan, Palina's boyfriend. I wrote the previous message.
Me : Sorry for mustering up the courage to walk up to her and introduce myself. You guys enjoy some great sex tonight
Her : We will. You go watch porn buddy (;
Her : Hey omg I'm sorry this is palina my friends took my phone. I'm rly sorry
Me : That's hilarious
Her : I'm so sorry
Me : You're very nice, I appreciate. Tell your friends that I forgive them, and wish them happy v-day
Her : Thank you so much for ur understanding!!! Enjoy your night
The next day
Me : Yesterday I used the waldo line on a girl who had the same shirt as you at the club. She hated it LOLOL
Her : No way!! Haha looll, but frankly, me too, I didn't understand it at first ;s haha
Me : You hated it? Thats racist
Her : 0.o racist?? I just didn't get it. I didn't know waldo and trouver Charlie was the same thing...
Me : HAHAHAHAHA! trouver Charlie was the **** back in the day
Her : Of course it was
Me : Russian with a quebec accent, that's funny
Her : I guess...
Me : Haha, so you have a bf named JOnathan?
Her : Nahh he's just a good friend of mine
Me : May your friend Jonathan rest in peace in the friend zone... send him my love
Her : And why do u say tht to me exactly? Let me be clear, I was wrong by giving my phone, he was wrong when writting this, and now you're clearly wrong by insulting him. You don't know him and you don't know me. So please do not waste my time with such comments.
Me : You clearly don't get my sense of humor
Her : You're a 100% right on that one
That's where I FLIP it around. HAHAHAHA.
Me : Sorry. I've been abused as a child and I just like, i just have my moments of feeling like ****. Sorry I'm just so depressed and stuff. Didnt mean to hurt you or anything...
Her : Don't worry, next time just don't talk about somebody you don't know, and I'm sorry as well. But really? Don't be depressed, isn't the day particularly beautiful today, u should go outside while it's sunny, might help
Me : Yeah I'm serious. That's sweet of you
Her : Mmh do u wanna talk about your worries, if it might help, feel free to
WIN. HAHAHAHA.
Me : I'll call you maybe tomorrow evening or something. Just chat though, I don't like talking about negativity. I dont know you that much, but it seems like you have a big heart
Her : I would be glad to talk, but my cell phone plan only includes 50 mins per month, so if u wanna talk for 10 min I'm ok ;s or else I'm getting charged and I'm not down for tht ;/
Me : 10 minutes is more than enough
Her : Kk then
CONCLUSION
- Don't compare yourself to others so much. Whatever Denis gets has nothing to do with me. Life isn't fair for everyone. Doesn't mean I have disadvantages. On the contrary, I have great qualities that Denis doesn't have. I have more depth than most people my age. I'm more mature.
- If you friend zone the girls you meet, some of them will still want them to kiss or grind you. Yep.
- Do whatever it takes to flip an interaction around. LOL. It's funny.
- Get your sleep handled... It's not fun to be running on low sleep. Not fun at all...
- Do not associate yourself with the Game too much. It's not your identity. It simply is your craft. A professional works on his craft no matter what. Whether it ends up being good or bad, he has to keep working on it because it's vital to his survival (he makes money out of it). Well, for the game it's similar. You just keep working on it, not caring too much whether your craft is at it's best yet, because you just want to perfect your craft even better. And it's vital for your reproduction
you want pretty babies, don't you?- God doesn't want you to live happy. He wants you to experience the full human experience. Whether it's pain, sorrow, fear, anger, this is what makes you human. Embrace it.
Monday, February 17th
Great.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rC5O-8QTQX8
Day started off normal. I was very well rested actually. Slept at 9:15, woke up at 6:40. That's more than 9 hours of sleep.
First class, I ask a girl about some assignment. Lol, yeah I know. She could be a potential girl I'd ****. She's 7.5, but there's something about her that turns me on than the average 7.5... I don't know. I caught her looking at me a couple times.
Guys, girls want to hook up in college. They are all single. **** you if you say hot girls are taken.
They are NOT.
I had a talk with Porno before my next class. That's just my opinion, but he didn't seem as lively as usual. I don't know, like I could tell that his life habits weren't in place. I also had troubles with mine, but at least I kept approaching almost every day. If you're reading this bro, get your sh1t in place.
Yoga class, I kind of talk to the Kaylas before going in. Talked for 30 seconds.
I talked to the two cute chicks and some dude that was with them. I didn't get their names, but they are cool people.
Local mall approach,
I LITERALLY had 2 minutes to do it. Bus from school arrived at mall at 53. I was in the mall by 55, and I had 2 minutes to do an approach before the bus would arrive at 00. I had to run LOL. But I did. I asked some random girl if she wanted to be my valentine. She absolutely loved it haha.
Going out the bus, I see some girl walking the same path as me. She's pretty hot, HB8. I go in RIGHT AWAY.
Me : Hey, did you go to my elementary school?
Blablabla, we talk for 2 minutes walking back home. No flirting was done. I knew I'd probably see her again some day, so no stress. It was just getting to know each other, from which background she comes from. Apparently she knows some of my elementary school friends. She was giggling for no reason a lot. As soon as I opened her, she had a huge smile.
Next time I see her, I'm taking her number down.
Heading back home,
I was reading The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. Then, I realized that reading inspiring self-dev books isn't a chore anymore. It's not a habit that requires any form of willpower. It's just pure fun and pleasure to learn about those things. It's my new passion. When I take a break from school, I read self-development now. That's how I take a break. I don't need facebook or video games. I go read a great book. Do the same. When you become a good, faster reader, it's much more fun to read.
CONCLUSION
- 1 approach a day? No, do 2 if you can!
- Be more social in class. I'm not. I treat the class room like it's the holy mighty sh1t of pick up, but it's not. Cold approach or girl from your class, both have the SAME value. A girl from your school isn't gamed differently than any other girl. It's the SAME. She's a woman, you're a man.
- Get your habits handled. It makes you feel so much better.
- SLEEP WELL. I can't stress this enough. It helps tremendously. To feel better about yourself, really value sleep. For me, it really helped.
Great.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rC5O-8QTQX8
Day started off normal. I was very well rested actually. Slept at 9:15, woke up at 6:40. That's more than 9 hours of sleep.
First class, I ask a girl about some assignment. Lol, yeah I know. She could be a potential girl I'd ****. She's 7.5, but there's something about her that turns me on than the average 7.5... I don't know. I caught her looking at me a couple times.
Guys, girls want to hook up in college. They are all single. **** you if you say hot girls are taken.
They are NOT.
I had a talk with Porno before my next class. That's just my opinion, but he didn't seem as lively as usual. I don't know, like I could tell that his life habits weren't in place. I also had troubles with mine, but at least I kept approaching almost every day. If you're reading this bro, get your sh1t in place.
Yoga class, I kind of talk to the Kaylas before going in. Talked for 30 seconds.
I talked to the two cute chicks and some dude that was with them. I didn't get their names, but they are cool people.
Local mall approach,
I LITERALLY had 2 minutes to do it. Bus from school arrived at mall at 53. I was in the mall by 55, and I had 2 minutes to do an approach before the bus would arrive at 00. I had to run LOL. But I did. I asked some random girl if she wanted to be my valentine. She absolutely loved it haha.
Going out the bus, I see some girl walking the same path as me. She's pretty hot, HB8. I go in RIGHT AWAY.
Me : Hey, did you go to my elementary school?
Blablabla, we talk for 2 minutes walking back home. No flirting was done. I knew I'd probably see her again some day, so no stress. It was just getting to know each other, from which background she comes from. Apparently she knows some of my elementary school friends. She was giggling for no reason a lot. As soon as I opened her, she had a huge smile.
Next time I see her, I'm taking her number down.
Heading back home,
I was reading The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. Then, I realized that reading inspiring self-dev books isn't a chore anymore. It's not a habit that requires any form of willpower. It's just pure fun and pleasure to learn about those things. It's my new passion. When I take a break from school, I read self-development now. That's how I take a break. I don't need facebook or video games. I go read a great book. Do the same. When you become a good, faster reader, it's much more fun to read.
CONCLUSION
- 1 approach a day? No, do 2 if you can!
- Be more social in class. I'm not. I treat the class room like it's the holy mighty sh1t of pick up, but it's not. Cold approach or girl from your class, both have the SAME value. A girl from your school isn't gamed differently than any other girl. It's the SAME. She's a woman, you're a man.
- Get your habits handled. It makes you feel so much better.
- SLEEP WELL. I can't stress this enough. It helps tremendously. To feel better about yourself, really value sleep. For me, it really helped.
I don't remember the whole week. I'll try and remember the most I can.
Tuesday, February 18th
English class. I sit next to the girl I didn't talk to last time LOL.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iajUGfuifK0
She's nice. She's the one that starts talking to me. To be honest, she she's really hot. Solid HB8.
I like when you look in a girl's eyes and you can see her eyes flickering. I got her name at the end of class.
I get to photography class. For some reason, I'm putting tremendous amount of pressure on myself and I'm really nervous. It's ridiculous.
I see Melissa, and I just freeze up. Nothing happens. Though, I get to know her hot asian friend, Sam. For some reason, Melissa seemed in a bad mood that day. We didn't talk much. She asked me to help her out choosing her pictures, so I did. She's hot.
But when I ended class, I walked away realizing that she ain't as hot as I thought actually. yes, very pretty and hot she is, but nothing more than that. Really.
Really hot is just one aspect of a woman. And then I was wondering why it fazed me that much.
Local mall,
I think I did nothing that day.
Wednesday, February 19th
Great day! There was a speed dating event at my school.
Started off the day going to the doctor. Apparently my testicles are fine, yes!
I do my school's talent show at 1:30. I did my shuffle dancing. I tripped and fell on the stage, but it didn't bother me so much. I kept dancing.
I didn't win, anyway haha. Damn, the audience was OVERCROWDED! At least 200-300 people.
When people had to clap to know who will pass the next round, close to no one clapped for me... It was kind of shocking to me. Anyway, I have to stop taking things so personally. They simply didn't like my dance as much as the pro breakdancers probably. I have many talents, shuffling is just one of them. And it's not much compared to my piano skills.
Speed dating event!
I was feeling a bit intimidated by the degree of hotness in the room. All the cheerleaders from our school were there. Funny, because the event started off and I was talking to the cheerleader me and Porno approached along with her group of friends at the cafeteria a year ago and got rejected hard/b1tchy style. It was awkward to look at her and keep talking... Hahahaha.
And then, I realized that it didn't kill me. Such a re encounter doesn't change anything to my life.
We had a ridiculous sheet of questions in front of us in case we would run out of things to say. So ridiculous, I didn't use it. At first I was a bit awkward, but I eventually got things rolling and everything was fine.
It made me realize how awkward and boring people can be. How people can be lacking social skills and originality. Literally EVERY girl was asking me the same questions : Where you from, what do you study, etc.
And I'd just go in starting the convo with something I noticed about her, about the place, or with some funny sh1t I had in mind. It was a lot of fun. I eventually started feeling unstifled and good about myself.
I ended up getting the names of a lot of girls. Getting to know the cheerleaders? It's GREAT. The cheerleaders are the topdogs, they give us access to the hottest girls. Being a cheerleader is situational value, knowing them is situational value too.
There was Chanelle too. She was eyeing me up and down. She did the same to a couple of guys. I feel like she's just the tease type of girl. Anyway, she's hot as heeeeeellllllll.
Fun times overall!
I went home directly after, because it was nearly 8PM and I didn't want to arrive too late. I figured that I talked to enough women that day.
Thursday, February 20th
Great day.
I arrived in English class. Midway through the conversation with the usual hottie, I ask for her name. At some point, she slips in the word "boyfriend" and instantly, I feel like fcccckkkk!
She walked away from class. It seemed like she was waiting for me to pack up, but I just waved at her goodbye.
Damnit.
Next class, I'm making friends with her and I'm expanding my social circle. Friendzone is good.
Nightgame,
We went to Annies, me Anthony and Robin (awesome shuffle guy from the ski trip).
Before going out that night, I gave myself one objective.
HAVE FUN.
Nothing else. I even wrote to myself that I will not even think of approaching, and that a night of no approaches is totally fine. Why? Because it was my night that night.
And I felt better than ever. It ended up being one of my best nights in a looong time in terms of feeling awesome.
I arrived. As soon as I get in, I see Jessica (hot blondie from the ski trip). We hug, I see Robin and we go dancing. Some girl approaches us and starts dancing too lol.
Blablabla. We dance and dance. I meet some cool guy, get his name. I dance in some circle of people. Some girls give me the eye contact and smile. I don't act upon it. Fvck it, fun fun fun!
I randomly approach some hottie, tell her that she's the girl that was cheating off me during the exam. I was just joking around, she thought that I was crazy or something haha. We kept talking. Got her name: Lara.
One of the cheerleaders gives me eye contact, a nice smile and pinches my belly saying hello. She's quite hot too. She was grinding some other dude earlier, so I just let her pass. Oh lol.
I remember talking to some random chicks, don't remember what was said. I
And then Jessica came to me at some point near the end. She wraps her arms around me and starts grinding. Great.
Some cool dude gives me some rhum, it's all fun and games.
I see Kayla again. I see Chris too.
Damn, that night was a blast. I felt soooo at ease. I wasn't worrying. I wasn't out of state. I wasn't eyeing the room left and right, thinking of what to do next.
Honestly, I think that every Thursday I'll do that. On Fridays and Saturdays I'll push myself more, but damn I have to learn to have fun again!
CONCLUSION
- Go out one night. DON'T THINK OF APPROACHING. Heck, you don't even need to approach. JUST HAVE THE BEST FUN YOU'VE EVER HAD IN YOUR LIFE, make this your only goal!
- Talk to the cheerleaders. Get sticky with the hotties that give you access to hotties that are beyond.
- A girl that's really hot is only a girl that's really hot. She's really hot, so what? It doesn't make her special in any way. Physical appearance has nothing to do with value. If I think about it, I'm really one of a kind. There's no such guy like me that's as passionate and amazing like me. Every other guy is just average. I'm the top 1%. Not even Denis or Porno can compare. I have things they don't have. They aren't better than me, they are just different and had different references than me. They are awesome in their own ways. But no one in the universe is awesome the way I am.
Tuesday, February 18th
English class. I sit next to the girl I didn't talk to last time LOL.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iajUGfuifK0
She's nice. She's the one that starts talking to me. To be honest, she she's really hot. Solid HB8.
I like when you look in a girl's eyes and you can see her eyes flickering. I got her name at the end of class.
I get to photography class. For some reason, I'm putting tremendous amount of pressure on myself and I'm really nervous. It's ridiculous.
I see Melissa, and I just freeze up. Nothing happens. Though, I get to know her hot asian friend, Sam. For some reason, Melissa seemed in a bad mood that day. We didn't talk much. She asked me to help her out choosing her pictures, so I did. She's hot.
But when I ended class, I walked away realizing that she ain't as hot as I thought actually. yes, very pretty and hot she is, but nothing more than that. Really.
Really hot is just one aspect of a woman. And then I was wondering why it fazed me that much.
Local mall,
I think I did nothing that day.
Wednesday, February 19th
Great day! There was a speed dating event at my school.
Started off the day going to the doctor. Apparently my testicles are fine, yes!
I do my school's talent show at 1:30. I did my shuffle dancing. I tripped and fell on the stage, but it didn't bother me so much. I kept dancing.
I didn't win, anyway haha. Damn, the audience was OVERCROWDED! At least 200-300 people.
When people had to clap to know who will pass the next round, close to no one clapped for me... It was kind of shocking to me. Anyway, I have to stop taking things so personally. They simply didn't like my dance as much as the pro breakdancers probably. I have many talents, shuffling is just one of them. And it's not much compared to my piano skills.
Speed dating event!
I was feeling a bit intimidated by the degree of hotness in the room. All the cheerleaders from our school were there. Funny, because the event started off and I was talking to the cheerleader me and Porno approached along with her group of friends at the cafeteria a year ago and got rejected hard/b1tchy style. It was awkward to look at her and keep talking... Hahahaha.
And then, I realized that it didn't kill me. Such a re encounter doesn't change anything to my life.
We had a ridiculous sheet of questions in front of us in case we would run out of things to say. So ridiculous, I didn't use it. At first I was a bit awkward, but I eventually got things rolling and everything was fine.
It made me realize how awkward and boring people can be. How people can be lacking social skills and originality. Literally EVERY girl was asking me the same questions : Where you from, what do you study, etc.
And I'd just go in starting the convo with something I noticed about her, about the place, or with some funny sh1t I had in mind. It was a lot of fun. I eventually started feeling unstifled and good about myself.
I ended up getting the names of a lot of girls. Getting to know the cheerleaders? It's GREAT. The cheerleaders are the topdogs, they give us access to the hottest girls. Being a cheerleader is situational value, knowing them is situational value too.
There was Chanelle too. She was eyeing me up and down. She did the same to a couple of guys. I feel like she's just the tease type of girl. Anyway, she's hot as heeeeeellllllll.
Fun times overall!
I went home directly after, because it was nearly 8PM and I didn't want to arrive too late. I figured that I talked to enough women that day.
Thursday, February 20th
Great day.
I arrived in English class. Midway through the conversation with the usual hottie, I ask for her name. At some point, she slips in the word "boyfriend" and instantly, I feel like fcccckkkk!
She walked away from class. It seemed like she was waiting for me to pack up, but I just waved at her goodbye.
Damnit.
Next class, I'm making friends with her and I'm expanding my social circle. Friendzone is good.
Nightgame,
We went to Annies, me Anthony and Robin (awesome shuffle guy from the ski trip).
Before going out that night, I gave myself one objective.
HAVE FUN.
Nothing else. I even wrote to myself that I will not even think of approaching, and that a night of no approaches is totally fine. Why? Because it was my night that night.
And I felt better than ever. It ended up being one of my best nights in a looong time in terms of feeling awesome.
I arrived. As soon as I get in, I see Jessica (hot blondie from the ski trip). We hug, I see Robin and we go dancing. Some girl approaches us and starts dancing too lol.
Blablabla. We dance and dance. I meet some cool guy, get his name. I dance in some circle of people. Some girls give me the eye contact and smile. I don't act upon it. Fvck it, fun fun fun!
I randomly approach some hottie, tell her that she's the girl that was cheating off me during the exam. I was just joking around, she thought that I was crazy or something haha. We kept talking. Got her name: Lara.
One of the cheerleaders gives me eye contact, a nice smile and pinches my belly saying hello. She's quite hot too. She was grinding some other dude earlier, so I just let her pass. Oh lol.
I remember talking to some random chicks, don't remember what was said. I
And then Jessica came to me at some point near the end. She wraps her arms around me and starts grinding. Great.
Some cool dude gives me some rhum, it's all fun and games.
I see Kayla again. I see Chris too.
Damn, that night was a blast. I felt soooo at ease. I wasn't worrying. I wasn't out of state. I wasn't eyeing the room left and right, thinking of what to do next.
Honestly, I think that every Thursday I'll do that. On Fridays and Saturdays I'll push myself more, but damn I have to learn to have fun again!
CONCLUSION
- Go out one night. DON'T THINK OF APPROACHING. Heck, you don't even need to approach. JUST HAVE THE BEST FUN YOU'VE EVER HAD IN YOUR LIFE, make this your only goal!
- Talk to the cheerleaders. Get sticky with the hotties that give you access to hotties that are beyond.
- A girl that's really hot is only a girl that's really hot. She's really hot, so what? It doesn't make her special in any way. Physical appearance has nothing to do with value. If I think about it, I'm really one of a kind. There's no such guy like me that's as passionate and amazing like me. Every other guy is just average. I'm the top 1%. Not even Denis or Porno can compare. I have things they don't have. They aren't better than me, they are just different and had different references than me. They are awesome in their own ways. But no one in the universe is awesome the way I am.
Friday, February 22nd
If you had one wish, what would it be?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQNTX2Ci-is
Great day. I went to school to finish developing my film for photography class. Randomly, I see Melissa's hot asian friend. She's hot, but nothing more. We talked, chilled, befriended each other. Randomly, Melissa pops up and I say hello to her. She's still as funny as usual. She's so sexy.
I was in the closet in complete darkness trying to figure out how to put my film in the container. Then, I hear her banging on my door like a crazy b1tch haha. She said goodbye and left afterwards, lol.
I ended up talking to the asian friend a lot. Her name is Sam, let's call her Sam.
We talked for a long time. She was the one talking more than me, which is good. She was talking a bit fast too. At some point, she tells me that I should join her asian group of friends and get some bubbletea together hahaha.
So I get her number. We text a bit back and forth. My goal is simply to friendzone her. She's not as hot as Melissa.
It's funny because I got her number before getting Melissa's... how counter intuitive. Melissa was gone already, didn't have the chance to get hers. Next class, yes.
The night,
Went to Pioneer bar, where all the college kids from my school go.
It was real nice. There was this random hottie in the line that gave me eye contact and then said hello. I didn't recognize her at all, but she recognized me. She knew my name too, hahaha. Her name is Gaby.
Saw her later that night. I wrapped my arm around her neck as we walked off the dancefloor just chillin' like a vilain. And I ended up leaving her.
Apparently it was Karleen's birthday. We didn't know lol.
Chilled with the friends. It was really nice. Robin and Porno were there, along with some people I didn't talk to in a long while. It was fun to see them again.
Saturday, February 23rd
Good day.
I was with Sex_is_good today. I haven't seen him in literally months!
We did some daygame. I did 3 approaches in 3 hours. I know, quite awful but at least I did something LOL. Truth is that I was on my own, because Sex_is_good was with some other chick the whole time, some chick he instant-dated. I personally didn't find her attractive, but I guess that he clicked with her. Fun times.
After my 2nd approach, I froze and couldn't do more. Honestly, my first 2 were horrible. Nothing happened! I just said some random sh1t to some 2 average or below-average looking chick and walked off. Meh.
I sat down and looked a bit of the daygame blueprint from daygame.com. Then, I totally snapped out of it. I realized that girls love to be approached, that guys think it's badass. People love daygame. It's the most natural thing in the world. Approaching and giving love is the most natural thing in the world!
I went to the food court to get some food. When I go to the garbage to throw my sh1t, I don't even hesitate the slightest second and approach IMMEDIATELY. She's 8.5, she gave me one of the cutest looks I've seen in a while. I felt an instant connection right away. Too bad she was waiting for her boyfriend.
Her : Haha, so that's how to pick up girls? You just ask them if they're from your school and pretend that she's the one who cheated on you on the test?
Me : Haha, nah it's just the first line I thought of when I saw you!
Her : Hahaha, well it worked!
Me : Haha, anyway, nice to meet you! Seeya!
Also,
I'm reading The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. It's a wonderful book! Suggested by Tyler. Great stuff. It talks about the psychology of woman and how to get spiritual and sh1t. Great.
CONCLUSION
- People love daygame. Girls WANT to be approached. Guys think it's super badass. It's funny as hell to be watched too. Why do you care so much? It's authentic, ballsy, and lovely.
- Number close. Close close close. Put her in the friendzone.
- Read books. It's a wonderful hobby. You learn so much of what people took years to discover, in only one book.
If you had one wish, what would it be?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQNTX2Ci-is
Great day. I went to school to finish developing my film for photography class. Randomly, I see Melissa's hot asian friend. She's hot, but nothing more. We talked, chilled, befriended each other. Randomly, Melissa pops up and I say hello to her. She's still as funny as usual. She's so sexy.
I was in the closet in complete darkness trying to figure out how to put my film in the container. Then, I hear her banging on my door like a crazy b1tch haha. She said goodbye and left afterwards, lol.
I ended up talking to the asian friend a lot. Her name is Sam, let's call her Sam.
We talked for a long time. She was the one talking more than me, which is good. She was talking a bit fast too. At some point, she tells me that I should join her asian group of friends and get some bubbletea together hahaha.
So I get her number. We text a bit back and forth. My goal is simply to friendzone her. She's not as hot as Melissa.
It's funny because I got her number before getting Melissa's... how counter intuitive. Melissa was gone already, didn't have the chance to get hers. Next class, yes.
The night,
Went to Pioneer bar, where all the college kids from my school go.
It was real nice. There was this random hottie in the line that gave me eye contact and then said hello. I didn't recognize her at all, but she recognized me. She knew my name too, hahaha. Her name is Gaby.
Saw her later that night. I wrapped my arm around her neck as we walked off the dancefloor just chillin' like a vilain. And I ended up leaving her.
Apparently it was Karleen's birthday. We didn't know lol.
Chilled with the friends. It was really nice. Robin and Porno were there, along with some people I didn't talk to in a long while. It was fun to see them again.
Saturday, February 23rd
Good day.
I was with Sex_is_good today. I haven't seen him in literally months!
We did some daygame. I did 3 approaches in 3 hours. I know, quite awful but at least I did something LOL. Truth is that I was on my own, because Sex_is_good was with some other chick the whole time, some chick he instant-dated. I personally didn't find her attractive, but I guess that he clicked with her. Fun times.
After my 2nd approach, I froze and couldn't do more. Honestly, my first 2 were horrible. Nothing happened! I just said some random sh1t to some 2 average or below-average looking chick and walked off. Meh.
I sat down and looked a bit of the daygame blueprint from daygame.com. Then, I totally snapped out of it. I realized that girls love to be approached, that guys think it's badass. People love daygame. It's the most natural thing in the world. Approaching and giving love is the most natural thing in the world!
I went to the food court to get some food. When I go to the garbage to throw my sh1t, I don't even hesitate the slightest second and approach IMMEDIATELY. She's 8.5, she gave me one of the cutest looks I've seen in a while. I felt an instant connection right away. Too bad she was waiting for her boyfriend.
Her : Haha, so that's how to pick up girls? You just ask them if they're from your school and pretend that she's the one who cheated on you on the test?
Me : Haha, nah it's just the first line I thought of when I saw you!
Her : Hahaha, well it worked!
Me : Haha, anyway, nice to meet you! Seeya!
Also,
I'm reading The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. It's a wonderful book! Suggested by Tyler. Great stuff. It talks about the psychology of woman and how to get spiritual and sh1t. Great.
CONCLUSION
- People love daygame. Girls WANT to be approached. Guys think it's super badass. It's funny as hell to be watched too. Why do you care so much? It's authentic, ballsy, and lovely.
- Number close. Close close close. Put her in the friendzone.
- Read books. It's a wonderful hobby. You learn so much of what people took years to discover, in only one book.
Monday, February 24th
Before you guys read this post, I want to thank Goku(not from DBZ, from SimplePickup forum lol) for the reality slap in the face to wake me up from my delusional happiness. He made me realize that I've been living in delusional, love/happiness epiphanies all that time and using those principles against myself in a way that doesn't promote action taking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjXAVTCkK_w
Too much of a good thing could be turned around into something that destroys your success. Yes, I have been happier in the past few weeks/months (or maybe not?), but I used this happiness against myself to stop myself from taking action.
See this. My concept that happiness comes from within and where it doesn't require any external validation, is a wonderful concept. But it has no substance in itself if not combined with action taking.
And I thought of the utilitarian principle. Utilitarianism. It's about the TAKING ACTION and GETTING THE RESULTS. It's about the happiness of the greatest number of people. When I approach, I give a gift to the world. I give love to other girls, wonderful. It contributes to humanity's love. Not only that, but approaching IS ACTION-BASED.
So following the utilitarian philosophy, it doesn't matter how delusionally happy and lovely I feel, it doesn't matter how satisfied I am at the moment, if I am NOT taking action, I FAILED.
Though, if I DO take action, NO MATTER how I felt while taking the right action, I WON.
You might be thinking : But what if taking action doesn't lead you to happiness in the end?
Well guess what? If your action taking is aligned with your deepest, most precious life values, HOW in the world will taking action not lead you to happiness? Of course it will, it's out of question.
And such a realization blew me away. It's my last realization. Enough of those love/happy delusional epiphanies. They lead me to nowhere.
I read some of the previous pages of my journal.
Wow, September 6th. When I made out with a total perfect HB9 in 30 seconds?
November 1st I believe, when a HB8 slid her hand under her skirt for me to pull her panties down after a passionate make-out.
November 22nd, when that HB9 crouched to give me a perfect view of her perfect cleavage and rubbed her tits against my raging boner.
And it's been 4 months since any of those amazing things happened. Did my game go down?
Yes. Did the references experiences disappear from my past? No.
So I can come back with even more force.
SO YEAH,
During the break, I go workout for an hour with Adenis and a few of his friends. Adenis is quite the insecure, shy guy. I'm trying to help him rise up, but it doesn't seem to show that much enthusiasm towards pick up. Yes, we did some approaching and nightgame together, once, but he's simply not that into it.
Almost seems like he's dragging me down. He's a great friend of mine, but he's just not into life enough...
Anyway. Before class, I see Talya and Nuggetgirl. We chill for a while, all fun and games. I walk around with Porno for a bit.
We go to yoga class. I team up with some cool dude and some hot chick for the presentation. Cool stuff. I talk to some cute chick behind me. Not much was said.
Local mall approaches (with an S)
We went to the local mall. It took us SO LITTLE time to approach. I was totally in the utilitarian principle.
TAKE ACTION, GET RESULTS. MOOD DOESN'T MATTER. HAPPINESS, FVCK THIS SH1T.
Paradoxically, I have never been happier to approach in a long time. I've stopped beating myself up. I was going bam bam bam.
First set, Porno approaches outside. They were smoking cigarette, so we ejected and it was cold outside too. We went inside.
First group of 2 girls near food court, I go in right away. It's great. The cutest one ends up being in grade 9... too young LOL. She looked our age, weirdly. Her friend is older but not cute. We simply eject because I don't care about the interaction and the girls. Moved on.
I almost skip the next group, but Porno goes in. The girls are 20, they seem a bit unreactive, but we totally make their day. They totally loved it. We were funny as hell, saying some random stuff. Since they were 20, I kind of had a mental barrier right away. Pointless of me, because I've had some instant date with some girl 4 years older than me for an hour, a year and a half ago. Holy sh1t, yeah I remember that!
I approached some random ugly girls half-asses for my own pleasure. It was hilarious. I asked them if they believed in Jesus, and then I walked away. Sometimes I'd yell YEEEEHHH randomly with a retarded face. I had weird looks but then I could hear them bust laughing. Totally made their day.
Basically, we did 4-5 approaches within 10-15 minutes of time frame. While I took 3 hours for 3 approaches on Saturday.
CONCLUSION
- UTILITARIANISM. Beautiful life values, love and happiness realizations and epiphanies DON'T MEAN SH!T without ACTION. Taking action is at the core of everything. If your actions are aligned to your values, it will get you happiness.
- Don't worry about happiness. If you always try to grasp happiness, you will never quite have it. It simply happens naturally. It happens with the flow of life. Don't force it. Take action, and it will come.
- Snap yourself out of it. Too much of a good thing could be used against yourself. The scariest part is you might not even be aware of it. You think that some of your beliefs are helping you and they do contribute to your instant well-being, but they DO NOT serve you in terms of ultimate self-development. Do you want to be delusionally happy now, or do you want to live life to the fullest?
- Taking action will give you the greatest happiness life has to offer.
Before you guys read this post, I want to thank Goku(not from DBZ, from SimplePickup forum lol) for the reality slap in the face to wake me up from my delusional happiness. He made me realize that I've been living in delusional, love/happiness epiphanies all that time and using those principles against myself in a way that doesn't promote action taking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjXAVTCkK_w
Too much of a good thing could be turned around into something that destroys your success. Yes, I have been happier in the past few weeks/months (or maybe not?), but I used this happiness against myself to stop myself from taking action.
See this. My concept that happiness comes from within and where it doesn't require any external validation, is a wonderful concept. But it has no substance in itself if not combined with action taking.
And I thought of the utilitarian principle. Utilitarianism. It's about the TAKING ACTION and GETTING THE RESULTS. It's about the happiness of the greatest number of people. When I approach, I give a gift to the world. I give love to other girls, wonderful. It contributes to humanity's love. Not only that, but approaching IS ACTION-BASED.
So following the utilitarian philosophy, it doesn't matter how delusionally happy and lovely I feel, it doesn't matter how satisfied I am at the moment, if I am NOT taking action, I FAILED.
Though, if I DO take action, NO MATTER how I felt while taking the right action, I WON.
You might be thinking : But what if taking action doesn't lead you to happiness in the end?
Well guess what? If your action taking is aligned with your deepest, most precious life values, HOW in the world will taking action not lead you to happiness? Of course it will, it's out of question.
And such a realization blew me away. It's my last realization. Enough of those love/happy delusional epiphanies. They lead me to nowhere.
I read some of the previous pages of my journal.
Wow, September 6th. When I made out with a total perfect HB9 in 30 seconds?
November 1st I believe, when a HB8 slid her hand under her skirt for me to pull her panties down after a passionate make-out.
November 22nd, when that HB9 crouched to give me a perfect view of her perfect cleavage and rubbed her tits against my raging boner.
And it's been 4 months since any of those amazing things happened. Did my game go down?
Yes. Did the references experiences disappear from my past? No.
So I can come back with even more force.
SO YEAH,
During the break, I go workout for an hour with Adenis and a few of his friends. Adenis is quite the insecure, shy guy. I'm trying to help him rise up, but it doesn't seem to show that much enthusiasm towards pick up. Yes, we did some approaching and nightgame together, once, but he's simply not that into it.
Almost seems like he's dragging me down. He's a great friend of mine, but he's just not into life enough...
Anyway. Before class, I see Talya and Nuggetgirl. We chill for a while, all fun and games. I walk around with Porno for a bit.
We go to yoga class. I team up with some cool dude and some hot chick for the presentation. Cool stuff. I talk to some cute chick behind me. Not much was said.
Local mall approaches (with an S)
We went to the local mall. It took us SO LITTLE time to approach. I was totally in the utilitarian principle.
TAKE ACTION, GET RESULTS. MOOD DOESN'T MATTER. HAPPINESS, FVCK THIS SH1T.
Paradoxically, I have never been happier to approach in a long time. I've stopped beating myself up. I was going bam bam bam.
First set, Porno approaches outside. They were smoking cigarette, so we ejected and it was cold outside too. We went inside.
First group of 2 girls near food court, I go in right away. It's great. The cutest one ends up being in grade 9... too young LOL. She looked our age, weirdly. Her friend is older but not cute. We simply eject because I don't care about the interaction and the girls. Moved on.
I almost skip the next group, but Porno goes in. The girls are 20, they seem a bit unreactive, but we totally make their day. They totally loved it. We were funny as hell, saying some random stuff. Since they were 20, I kind of had a mental barrier right away. Pointless of me, because I've had some instant date with some girl 4 years older than me for an hour, a year and a half ago. Holy sh1t, yeah I remember that!
I approached some random ugly girls half-asses for my own pleasure. It was hilarious. I asked them if they believed in Jesus, and then I walked away. Sometimes I'd yell YEEEEHHH randomly with a retarded face. I had weird looks but then I could hear them bust laughing. Totally made their day.
Basically, we did 4-5 approaches within 10-15 minutes of time frame. While I took 3 hours for 3 approaches on Saturday.
CONCLUSION
- UTILITARIANISM. Beautiful life values, love and happiness realizations and epiphanies DON'T MEAN SH!T without ACTION. Taking action is at the core of everything. If your actions are aligned to your values, it will get you happiness.
- Don't worry about happiness. If you always try to grasp happiness, you will never quite have it. It simply happens naturally. It happens with the flow of life. Don't force it. Take action, and it will come.
- Snap yourself out of it. Too much of a good thing could be used against yourself. The scariest part is you might not even be aware of it. You think that some of your beliefs are helping you and they do contribute to your instant well-being, but they DO NOT serve you in terms of ultimate self-development. Do you want to be delusionally happy now, or do you want to live life to the fullest?
- Taking action will give you the greatest happiness life has to offer.
Tuesday, February 25th
Utilitarian principle. Gogogo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZJZwPRI0_A
So I'm feeling super ready to approach Melissa in class and get her number. I'm excited.
I walk towards the class energetically. I'm feeling awesome, **** yeah. Take action no matter what!
So I walk in. THE CLASS IS EMPTY. WTF.
I ask some random dude in the class wtf is happening. He tells me that the class is probably cancelled... I call the asian girl from my class. Yes, it's cancelled. Damnit lol.
So yeah... I work intense on my essay before leaving to go home.
No daygame today, I made too many excuses. The mall was dead empty because it was 3:30PM. Anyway, next time.
Though,
You know the girl with the funny text convo, Palina? The girl I lied that I was abused as a child? Hahahaha, called her today. She agreed on the meetup, though no fixed date yet. Denis thinks that she's real hot. She's pretty hot, not gunna lie.
Good sh1t. Potential date. It's crazy because I was SO RELAXED on the phone. No pressure, no stress. It was very easy to talk. My confidence on the phone definitely went up a notch.
I think i'll call the Asian friend of Melissa, tell her to come to the photolab on friday with Melissa. So I can get Melissa's number and set something during the March Break. YES.
Also,
Mollie, girl I approached literally a year ago, I messaged her back on facebook. She was totally mad at me a year ago. A year later, I message her and its like nothing happened. She was happy that I was messaging her back. Let's try something with her too.
She's like the TOTAL opposite of the type of girl I'd date. Totally bad girl. Skips school, is grounded by her parents, smokes the shisha. She's a bad girl. But I have to get the reference of dating every type of woman. Who knows, maybe she's a maniac in bed.
CONCLUSION
- Don't text the girl. CALL THE GIRL. It's so much more powerful. trust me.
- Message girls you didn't talk to in ages. You'll be surprised with who responds back.
- Utilitarian principle. You call her. Just go. ACTION and RESULTS. NOTHING ELSE. Understood? Actions and results, that's all there is. Wrap your head around that idea.
Utilitarian principle. Gogogo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZJZwPRI0_A
So I'm feeling super ready to approach Melissa in class and get her number. I'm excited.
I walk towards the class energetically. I'm feeling awesome, **** yeah. Take action no matter what!
So I walk in. THE CLASS IS EMPTY. WTF.
I ask some random dude in the class wtf is happening. He tells me that the class is probably cancelled... I call the asian girl from my class. Yes, it's cancelled. Damnit lol.
So yeah... I work intense on my essay before leaving to go home.
No daygame today, I made too many excuses. The mall was dead empty because it was 3:30PM. Anyway, next time.
Though,
You know the girl with the funny text convo, Palina? The girl I lied that I was abused as a child? Hahahaha, called her today. She agreed on the meetup, though no fixed date yet. Denis thinks that she's real hot. She's pretty hot, not gunna lie.
Good sh1t. Potential date. It's crazy because I was SO RELAXED on the phone. No pressure, no stress. It was very easy to talk. My confidence on the phone definitely went up a notch.
I think i'll call the Asian friend of Melissa, tell her to come to the photolab on friday with Melissa. So I can get Melissa's number and set something during the March Break. YES.
Also,
Mollie, girl I approached literally a year ago, I messaged her back on facebook. She was totally mad at me a year ago. A year later, I message her and its like nothing happened. She was happy that I was messaging her back. Let's try something with her too.
She's like the TOTAL opposite of the type of girl I'd date. Totally bad girl. Skips school, is grounded by her parents, smokes the shisha. She's a bad girl. But I have to get the reference of dating every type of woman. Who knows, maybe she's a maniac in bed.
CONCLUSION
- Don't text the girl. CALL THE GIRL. It's so much more powerful. trust me.
- Message girls you didn't talk to in ages. You'll be surprised with who responds back.
- Utilitarian principle. You call her. Just go. ACTION and RESULTS. NOTHING ELSE. Understood? Actions and results, that's all there is. Wrap your head around that idea.
Wednesday, February 26th
Cool.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d43J66UAa7Q
This album I was listening to in 2011... That first song after the intro is beyond amazing.
I lose one contact lens on the way to school. Can't see sh1t from the left eye, lol.
But anyway. During break, I see Richard at the cafeteria and I get to meet his cute female friend. Her name is Sarah. Curly hair, cute, not super hot but hot enough. 7.5.
She was giving me the flirty eyes too. I would look at her a bit, and she would go : Hahahaha, what? What?
That's just classic. I left the table. I felt guilty to getting her phone number. She seemed disappointed that I was leaving her.
Her : So you're leaving us alone? D:
Me : Yeaaah... gotta go. Guys, come to Pioneer this Friday.
Her : Oh I don't think I can... I'm underaged...
Me : Oh well, next time then.
And I walked off. She's okay. I'd fvck her, yeah maybe. Mhm, meh.
I just work on my photographs in the lab. Melissa wasn't there that day. Fvck, how am I going to get her number? LOL you wanna know the funny part? Remember HB Blonde from 2012? Well, her name's also Melissa. Girl I had oneitis on too. LOL.
At the lab, I get to chat with 2-3 chicks I haven't talked to. I love trying to guess some girl's nationality. It's a great conversation starter and I always find their reaction funny.
So I go to my next class. I chat with the cutie next to me, as always. I got her name this time, lol. Nothing great happens from this. I have to push things more.
Local mall approach!
I was walking around with my friend Nissanth in the mall for at least 20 minutes. I was choding out too much. Until I saw some cute asian chick. 7.5.
We had a good 15 minutes conversation I believe. I was honestly feeling so out of it at first, but I kept talking to her. I felt my face having that ridiculous shy smile at times, haha. She was contributing to the conversation quite a lot. She was the one asking me questions and stuff, good stuff.
Anyway, UTILITARIAN PRINCIPLE. I TOOK ACTION. I WON.
And I felt super good after that approach. I went for the close, got her facebook, because she had to change phones that day anyway. We'll see how it goes.
The world is fvcking lazy. Stand out from everyone else. Approach every day.
CONCLUSION
- Approaches are lasting longer. Good. This means I'm getting back on track. My daygame skills are coming back.
- APPROACH EVERY DAY. You won't realize the benefits of this. Trust me.
- I have to stop mental masturbation over Melissa. She'll come when she'll come.
- Everyone is lazy and is a fcking b1tch. You can do better than them. Be the boss.
Cool.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d43J66UAa7Q
This album I was listening to in 2011... That first song after the intro is beyond amazing.
I lose one contact lens on the way to school. Can't see sh1t from the left eye, lol.
But anyway. During break, I see Richard at the cafeteria and I get to meet his cute female friend. Her name is Sarah. Curly hair, cute, not super hot but hot enough. 7.5.
She was giving me the flirty eyes too. I would look at her a bit, and she would go : Hahahaha, what? What?
That's just classic. I left the table. I felt guilty to getting her phone number. She seemed disappointed that I was leaving her.
Her : So you're leaving us alone? D:
Me : Yeaaah... gotta go. Guys, come to Pioneer this Friday.
Her : Oh I don't think I can... I'm underaged...
Me : Oh well, next time then.
And I walked off. She's okay. I'd fvck her, yeah maybe. Mhm, meh.
I just work on my photographs in the lab. Melissa wasn't there that day. Fvck, how am I going to get her number? LOL you wanna know the funny part? Remember HB Blonde from 2012? Well, her name's also Melissa. Girl I had oneitis on too. LOL.
At the lab, I get to chat with 2-3 chicks I haven't talked to. I love trying to guess some girl's nationality. It's a great conversation starter and I always find their reaction funny.
So I go to my next class. I chat with the cutie next to me, as always. I got her name this time, lol. Nothing great happens from this. I have to push things more.
Local mall approach!
I was walking around with my friend Nissanth in the mall for at least 20 minutes. I was choding out too much. Until I saw some cute asian chick. 7.5.
We had a good 15 minutes conversation I believe. I was honestly feeling so out of it at first, but I kept talking to her. I felt my face having that ridiculous shy smile at times, haha. She was contributing to the conversation quite a lot. She was the one asking me questions and stuff, good stuff.
Anyway, UTILITARIAN PRINCIPLE. I TOOK ACTION. I WON.
And I felt super good after that approach. I went for the close, got her facebook, because she had to change phones that day anyway. We'll see how it goes.
The world is fvcking lazy. Stand out from everyone else. Approach every day.
CONCLUSION
- Approaches are lasting longer. Good. This means I'm getting back on track. My daygame skills are coming back.
- APPROACH EVERY DAY. You won't realize the benefits of this. Trust me.
- I have to stop mental masturbation over Melissa. She'll come when she'll come.
- Everyone is lazy and is a fcking b1tch. You can do better than them. Be the boss.
It's been a week since last time I've updated. Good stuff has happened since. Then, I started feeling sh1tty because the higher the emotional high, the lower the low risks to be! I had validation, then I didn't have it anymore. But I'm back on track.
Thursday, February 27th
I get to Modern Cinema class. This hottie, HB8, is checking me out from time to time during class.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnEfPE2hysg&list=UUFhYciYV6oyqrOfoZoyoYCg
At some point, I talk to Amy (HB6 lesbian girl) in French and then she starts copying my French accent lol. We talk for a bit.
At the end of class, I was walking out slowly, and then she walked right beside me. We talked for a while. I'm pretty sure she would be interested in me if I just pushed things a bit more.
Next class, I will.
I will not make the same mistake I did with Melissa. You guys will understand.
The day before,
I'm texting Sam, Melissa's friend to ask Melissa when she's coming to the lab the next day.
Friday, February 28th
I wake up, open my cellphone and Melissa got my number from Sam and sent me 2-3 big texts asking me if I'll be able to come to the lab with her at the same time.
I do end up seeing her. After I'm done with my pictures, I tell her that we'll see each other during the break. She gives me a smile I can't understand. Either it's "yeah maybe...", or the "please invite me out...", or the "I'm disappointed you didn't ask me earlier, because it's a bit late now...". The type of half-asses smile with a little nod, you can't tell if it's shy or just uninterested. Argh.
I'm just overanalyzing.
Night,
I go eat with Dominic, Adenis and his friends. Fun people, but their friends are so caught up in AFC, low-consciousness. That's how I see it. Can't blame them though. Everyone is like that. Everyone that is shy with women doesn't want to go out, go club, go to bars, and meet women. I totally understand that.
And I've never met someone quite like me in my entire life. No one is as motivated as me, and that's a fact. I've never met anyone like that. Not even Porno. I'm one in a million. I wish the world was more like me. I'm not perfect. I do lose motivation from time to time, but it always comes back with full force.
So I'm asking all of them to come to Pioneer. Only Dominic follows, because he has some drive to change. Haha, when he told me that he was nervous before entering the bar, I totally understood how he felt.
I'm giving up on Adenis. He has no drive. His attitude is disgusting. He's stuck in his shy self, stuck in unconsciousness. Sorry if you're reading this bro, but you're acting like a pvssy. You tell me you want to go out with me, but you always make excuses not to go. Just tell me in the face that you don't want to grow as a person. Just tell me that, I don't care. I won't be mean, I'll just be real. You're a great guy, you're fun, you're cool to hang out with. But that's all you are, a good friend. Not a wing.
So yeah,
Went to Pioneer with Blondasian, Talya and Dominic. Dominic needs to build some of his social skills with girls. He's good with guys, but that doesn't get him laid, lol. He's not adding to my social life in terms of girls, but it's cool to have some guy you can kind of "mentor".
I hang out with guys really damn good like Denis. And then I can hang out with guys who wants to learn. So I have a good balance. Only hanging out with Denis, he'll steal all of my girls, though I learn so much from him. But I can also learn from the guys starting out. Cool.
Pioneer was cool. I did one approach, but nothing really. I did the "Aren't you in my class?" opener once again. It was cool chilling, like usual.
Saturday, March 1st
Met with HB Laos, after 2 years.
It was at H's party (H, remember? Go check back summer 2012).
So yeah,
I arrive at the party. I'm feeling totally confident, totally in the moment, at ease. I introduce myself to the few girls chilling outside the house. I see Laos again. I'm totally at ease with her. I'm not flinching at all. She's giggling and everything.
It was my 2014 new empowered, stronger self, meeting the 2012 Laos. It felt different.
I go inside, meet with everyone.
It's a party that's low key. No hot chicks really. There's one 7.5 and there's Laos, who's probably the cutest chick of all.
I chill with everyone. I'm playing it smooth and slow with Laos, not rushing in.
I reminded her of our times in high school. How I asked her out to prom, how I called her Anabella. Her reaction kind of struck me. She didn't remember much of it at all. She didn't remember the After-prom much. She didn't remember me asking her out. She concluded that we didn't really talk much in high school. And maybe that was true.
And I was looking at her like I was offering pure love. I wasn't really nervous or anything. I was just... offering. But seemed like she couldn't take it in. She had some sort of barrier. Youness tells me she has some shy barrier going on, which is right.
I flirted with the other average girls a bit. Some showed me some IOIs, but didn't act upon them. Fvck it lol.
At the very end, I tell Laos that we should go out and go get some bubble tea together. She agrees with a shy smile.
Later, I ask her if she's free Saturday. She tells me she's busy all weekend, and the one after.
Me : Fvck you! Just tell me yes or no, don't beat around the bush!
Her eyes widened at that point.
Her : Yeaaah, I'm serious! I'm busy, I'll let you know if I can later.
Me : Alright.
And then I just walked off, let her leave.
2012 is 2012. Life is transient, you can't latch on to the past.
Texted Melissa,
Told her to keep her phone open the next day, because I'll call her. She agrees, seems into it.
Sunday, March 2nd
Went to N's birthday.
N hasn't changed much at all. He invited us for dinner, only guys. The same old guys, including Francis, the dude who I fvcking hate and who always gives me the weird "Why the fvck are you acting so weird" look. He hasn't changed the slightest bit either.
To be honest, none of my friends from high school have changed. AT ALL. And it's scary to see.
People don't change. People always stay the same. People don't evolve, and that's just 95% of people in this world.
Yeah. Call me rude or call me real, but that's 95% of people. Who changes for the best? No one does.
Called Melissa,
Twice actually. Once earlier during the day, once at night. No answer. I text her to call me the next day before 6 PM.
Texting Mollie.
You remember Mollie? I met her a year ago. She was the girl with the cuts on her wrists, the girl who got super butthurt after I told her I didn't like bad girls like her. She agreed to go on a date the next day.
Arrived at bus stop.
See some girls from my college. Chat a bit, let them leave.
I see some cutie walking by. I don't know HOW, but IMMEDIATELY, I open like butter. It was automatic. We chat for a while. I go for the close, but she tells me that she has a boyfriend. Oh well, lol.
Thursday, February 27th
I get to Modern Cinema class. This hottie, HB8, is checking me out from time to time during class.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnEfPE2hysg&list=UUFhYciYV6oyqrOfoZoyoYCg
At some point, I talk to Amy (HB6 lesbian girl) in French and then she starts copying my French accent lol. We talk for a bit.
At the end of class, I was walking out slowly, and then she walked right beside me. We talked for a while. I'm pretty sure she would be interested in me if I just pushed things a bit more.
Next class, I will.
I will not make the same mistake I did with Melissa. You guys will understand.
The day before,
I'm texting Sam, Melissa's friend to ask Melissa when she's coming to the lab the next day.
Friday, February 28th
I wake up, open my cellphone and Melissa got my number from Sam and sent me 2-3 big texts asking me if I'll be able to come to the lab with her at the same time.
I do end up seeing her. After I'm done with my pictures, I tell her that we'll see each other during the break. She gives me a smile I can't understand. Either it's "yeah maybe...", or the "please invite me out...", or the "I'm disappointed you didn't ask me earlier, because it's a bit late now...". The type of half-asses smile with a little nod, you can't tell if it's shy or just uninterested. Argh.
I'm just overanalyzing.
Night,
I go eat with Dominic, Adenis and his friends. Fun people, but their friends are so caught up in AFC, low-consciousness. That's how I see it. Can't blame them though. Everyone is like that. Everyone that is shy with women doesn't want to go out, go club, go to bars, and meet women. I totally understand that.
And I've never met someone quite like me in my entire life. No one is as motivated as me, and that's a fact. I've never met anyone like that. Not even Porno. I'm one in a million. I wish the world was more like me. I'm not perfect. I do lose motivation from time to time, but it always comes back with full force.
So I'm asking all of them to come to Pioneer. Only Dominic follows, because he has some drive to change. Haha, when he told me that he was nervous before entering the bar, I totally understood how he felt.
I'm giving up on Adenis. He has no drive. His attitude is disgusting. He's stuck in his shy self, stuck in unconsciousness. Sorry if you're reading this bro, but you're acting like a pvssy. You tell me you want to go out with me, but you always make excuses not to go. Just tell me in the face that you don't want to grow as a person. Just tell me that, I don't care. I won't be mean, I'll just be real. You're a great guy, you're fun, you're cool to hang out with. But that's all you are, a good friend. Not a wing.
So yeah,
Went to Pioneer with Blondasian, Talya and Dominic. Dominic needs to build some of his social skills with girls. He's good with guys, but that doesn't get him laid, lol. He's not adding to my social life in terms of girls, but it's cool to have some guy you can kind of "mentor".
I hang out with guys really damn good like Denis. And then I can hang out with guys who wants to learn. So I have a good balance. Only hanging out with Denis, he'll steal all of my girls, though I learn so much from him. But I can also learn from the guys starting out. Cool.
Pioneer was cool. I did one approach, but nothing really. I did the "Aren't you in my class?" opener once again. It was cool chilling, like usual.
Saturday, March 1st
Met with HB Laos, after 2 years.
It was at H's party (H, remember? Go check back summer 2012).
So yeah,
I arrive at the party. I'm feeling totally confident, totally in the moment, at ease. I introduce myself to the few girls chilling outside the house. I see Laos again. I'm totally at ease with her. I'm not flinching at all. She's giggling and everything.
It was my 2014 new empowered, stronger self, meeting the 2012 Laos. It felt different.
I go inside, meet with everyone.
It's a party that's low key. No hot chicks really. There's one 7.5 and there's Laos, who's probably the cutest chick of all.
I chill with everyone. I'm playing it smooth and slow with Laos, not rushing in.
I reminded her of our times in high school. How I asked her out to prom, how I called her Anabella. Her reaction kind of struck me. She didn't remember much of it at all. She didn't remember the After-prom much. She didn't remember me asking her out. She concluded that we didn't really talk much in high school. And maybe that was true.
And I was looking at her like I was offering pure love. I wasn't really nervous or anything. I was just... offering. But seemed like she couldn't take it in. She had some sort of barrier. Youness tells me she has some shy barrier going on, which is right.
I flirted with the other average girls a bit. Some showed me some IOIs, but didn't act upon them. Fvck it lol.
At the very end, I tell Laos that we should go out and go get some bubble tea together. She agrees with a shy smile.
Later, I ask her if she's free Saturday. She tells me she's busy all weekend, and the one after.
Me : Fvck you! Just tell me yes or no, don't beat around the bush!
Her eyes widened at that point.
Her : Yeaaah, I'm serious! I'm busy, I'll let you know if I can later.
Me : Alright.
And then I just walked off, let her leave.
2012 is 2012. Life is transient, you can't latch on to the past.
Texted Melissa,
Told her to keep her phone open the next day, because I'll call her. She agrees, seems into it.
Sunday, March 2nd
Went to N's birthday.
N hasn't changed much at all. He invited us for dinner, only guys. The same old guys, including Francis, the dude who I fvcking hate and who always gives me the weird "Why the fvck are you acting so weird" look. He hasn't changed the slightest bit either.
To be honest, none of my friends from high school have changed. AT ALL. And it's scary to see.
People don't change. People always stay the same. People don't evolve, and that's just 95% of people in this world.
Yeah. Call me rude or call me real, but that's 95% of people. Who changes for the best? No one does.
Called Melissa,
Twice actually. Once earlier during the day, once at night. No answer. I text her to call me the next day before 6 PM.
Texting Mollie.
You remember Mollie? I met her a year ago. She was the girl with the cuts on her wrists, the girl who got super butthurt after I told her I didn't like bad girls like her. She agreed to go on a date the next day.
Arrived at bus stop.
See some girls from my college. Chat a bit, let them leave.
I see some cutie walking by. I don't know HOW, but IMMEDIATELY, I open like butter. It was automatic. We chat for a while. I go for the close, but she tells me that she has a boyfriend. Oh well, lol.
Monday, March 3rd
Date with Mollie!
I arrive at fairview. I see her, and she looked NOTHING like the first time I saw her. And she looks nothing like in her pictures either, lol.
She looked so innocent, even nerdy. The total opposite.
She looked HB7, HB7.5 at most.
Then, she told me about how she escaped her parents' house and everything, how she's all into health and fitness now. She was a totally new individual. It was fascinating to talk to her.
We went to go get some smoothie we shared. I was a bit uncomfortable at first, for some reason. I was nervous, a bit.
She was the one to initiate the sexual talk, haha. I gave her a massage. At some random point in the convo, she starts tickling me.
I invite her to my place, because there was nothing else to do at the local mall.
At some point I'm eating a piece of chocolate. She takes it from my mouth with her lips, almost kissing me.
We go in my basement. She looks hotter without her glasses and her ugly coat on. Her personality resonates a lot with mine. She's funny and stuff, it's nice. She's like the fire, full of energy, and I really like that.
Though, she's not that hot. Kind of flat-chested, dry lips that don't look tasty either. Mhm.
So we chill and stuff. We have an epic tickle battle for like 10 minutes. She's all into it. We laugh a ton, it's fun and games.
Around 10:20, she tells me she has to leave. So then I just sit there with her, my arm around, and I'm like :
Me : Time to leave, yeah...
And we sit there for like 10-15 seconds, not a word. And then I just suddenly tilt her head towards mine and we start making out. Yeah, her lips felt dry, meeh... hahaha. But she was enjoying it. She started licking my ear.
Me : Haha, that's special...
I do the same, but I bite it and make out with her ear. She gives me a big horny moan and starts breathing faster. We go back to making out. I can't get a boner up, and I'm not into it.
I was wondering why I was making out with her. For the validation? Yes, alright. Is that it?
And then she slid her hand down my belly. Slowly nearing my crotch. I take her hand and slide it back on my shoulder.
She then tells me she has to leave. I lift her back to the bus stop.
At the very end, she won't give me a goodbye kiss, because she was expecting me to lift her all the way to the local mall. I told her it wouldn't be faster, and let her leave. Lol.
While I'm driving, she calls me again to thank me for the fun night, and she yells "niam kilan!" meaning eat penis in Khmer. Lol.
While driving home, I didn't feel that much better at all from that night. Actually, I almost felt worse. Why was I making out with a girl I wasn't even that physically attracted to? It felt stupid. Yeah, she was cute. But her body wasn't attractive.
Also,
Melissa hasn't called back. And it made me feel even sh1tter. I was wondering, how can I come SO CLOSE to getting an 8.5-9, and then just fail miserably? Why couldn't I pull the trigger earlier?
Tuesday, March 4th
Went to After The Burial and Animals As Leaders concert. AMAZING.
When After The Burial was playing, I remembered New York and the trip. Because it was during that trip that I was blasting After The Burial on my iPod. We associate music with various things.
The night, I did some visualization. I picture myself with a beautiful girl, giving me the lovely eyes. All I saw was her, and her beautiful smile. She was holding my hand, pulling me near the beautiful lake near my school. My eyes got wet, and then I snapped myself out of my visualization.
Yeah, it's love again. That's why I'm into pick up.
No approaches.
Wednesday, March 5th
I did my good habits again. That's a great start. Now, I have to get back to approaching.
I wandered in the mall for 20-30 minutes doing nothing. Yes, it was late and it was closing and everything was dead empty. Though, I skipped 2 group of cuties. I HAVE to start approaching groups. I'm wasting too much time trying to find the right solo girls.
I just felt sh1tty because of Melissa. It was my only reason for feeling sh1tty.
CONCLUSION
- Don't get oneitis for girls simply because they are fvcking hot. Yes, an 8.5 flew by, so what the fvck? I had the reference of coming 1 inch CLOSE to GETTING her. Now, I have to start all over again. It's not like I can't get girls from that calibre. She's one of many.
- Get back to approaching every day. If you ain't working on your One Thing, you'll feel depressed again. It's an horrible trap to fall in.
- 95% aren't willing to change. Be fine with that, and don't force people to do so. The lowest chodes on the scale, 95% of them will never get out of that hell, and they'll delude themselves that they are happy where they're at. Be fine with other people settling for mediocrity. As long as it is not you.
- The past is the past. The girls you have failed with, it's hard to revive back to life. Let them go, and move the **** on.
- No matter how much love you want to give, how sincere you are, there will be times where the other person won't be able to receive it. It's not because you have an inability to open her up. There are some people that simply won't open up. That's just how it is. No matter how good you are, some girls won't open up.
- Life is about failing and moving the fvck on. It's about getting destroyed and destroyed, to then build yourself into something greater.
Date with Mollie!
I arrive at fairview. I see her, and she looked NOTHING like the first time I saw her. And she looks nothing like in her pictures either, lol.
She looked so innocent, even nerdy. The total opposite.
She looked HB7, HB7.5 at most.
Then, she told me about how she escaped her parents' house and everything, how she's all into health and fitness now. She was a totally new individual. It was fascinating to talk to her.
We went to go get some smoothie we shared. I was a bit uncomfortable at first, for some reason. I was nervous, a bit.
She was the one to initiate the sexual talk, haha. I gave her a massage. At some random point in the convo, she starts tickling me.
I invite her to my place, because there was nothing else to do at the local mall.
At some point I'm eating a piece of chocolate. She takes it from my mouth with her lips, almost kissing me.
We go in my basement. She looks hotter without her glasses and her ugly coat on. Her personality resonates a lot with mine. She's funny and stuff, it's nice. She's like the fire, full of energy, and I really like that.
Though, she's not that hot. Kind of flat-chested, dry lips that don't look tasty either. Mhm.
So we chill and stuff. We have an epic tickle battle for like 10 minutes. She's all into it. We laugh a ton, it's fun and games.
Around 10:20, she tells me she has to leave. So then I just sit there with her, my arm around, and I'm like :
Me : Time to leave, yeah...
And we sit there for like 10-15 seconds, not a word. And then I just suddenly tilt her head towards mine and we start making out. Yeah, her lips felt dry, meeh... hahaha. But she was enjoying it. She started licking my ear.
Me : Haha, that's special...
I do the same, but I bite it and make out with her ear. She gives me a big horny moan and starts breathing faster. We go back to making out. I can't get a boner up, and I'm not into it.
I was wondering why I was making out with her. For the validation? Yes, alright. Is that it?
And then she slid her hand down my belly. Slowly nearing my crotch. I take her hand and slide it back on my shoulder.
She then tells me she has to leave. I lift her back to the bus stop.
At the very end, she won't give me a goodbye kiss, because she was expecting me to lift her all the way to the local mall. I told her it wouldn't be faster, and let her leave. Lol.
While I'm driving, she calls me again to thank me for the fun night, and she yells "niam kilan!" meaning eat penis in Khmer. Lol.
While driving home, I didn't feel that much better at all from that night. Actually, I almost felt worse. Why was I making out with a girl I wasn't even that physically attracted to? It felt stupid. Yeah, she was cute. But her body wasn't attractive.
Also,
Melissa hasn't called back. And it made me feel even sh1tter. I was wondering, how can I come SO CLOSE to getting an 8.5-9, and then just fail miserably? Why couldn't I pull the trigger earlier?
Tuesday, March 4th
Went to After The Burial and Animals As Leaders concert. AMAZING.
When After The Burial was playing, I remembered New York and the trip. Because it was during that trip that I was blasting After The Burial on my iPod. We associate music with various things.
The night, I did some visualization. I picture myself with a beautiful girl, giving me the lovely eyes. All I saw was her, and her beautiful smile. She was holding my hand, pulling me near the beautiful lake near my school. My eyes got wet, and then I snapped myself out of my visualization.
Yeah, it's love again. That's why I'm into pick up.
No approaches.
Wednesday, March 5th
I did my good habits again. That's a great start. Now, I have to get back to approaching.
I wandered in the mall for 20-30 minutes doing nothing. Yes, it was late and it was closing and everything was dead empty. Though, I skipped 2 group of cuties. I HAVE to start approaching groups. I'm wasting too much time trying to find the right solo girls.
I just felt sh1tty because of Melissa. It was my only reason for feeling sh1tty.
CONCLUSION
- Don't get oneitis for girls simply because they are fvcking hot. Yes, an 8.5 flew by, so what the fvck? I had the reference of coming 1 inch CLOSE to GETTING her. Now, I have to start all over again. It's not like I can't get girls from that calibre. She's one of many.
- Get back to approaching every day. If you ain't working on your One Thing, you'll feel depressed again. It's an horrible trap to fall in.
- 95% aren't willing to change. Be fine with that, and don't force people to do so. The lowest chodes on the scale, 95% of them will never get out of that hell, and they'll delude themselves that they are happy where they're at. Be fine with other people settling for mediocrity. As long as it is not you.
- The past is the past. The girls you have failed with, it's hard to revive back to life. Let them go, and move the **** on.
- No matter how much love you want to give, how sincere you are, there will be times where the other person won't be able to receive it. It's not because you have an inability to open her up. There are some people that simply won't open up. That's just how it is. No matter how good you are, some girls won't open up.
- Life is about failing and moving the fvck on. It's about getting destroyed and destroyed, to then build yourself into something greater.
The Day I became an *******.
Thursday, March 6th
I arrived at Foufs, the club, with Blondasian, Talya, HB Mole. I had fun slapping theirs asses when I felt like it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fstIJb24Tmw
Anyway. After an hour wait, we get in.
My first approach is my harshest one. The girls are plain evil. They tell me to **** off and that they hate asians. I just amplified it and played with it.
Me : Oh yeah? How does it feel to like small little asian ****? Oh yeah, you like it inside of you huuh? Mhmhmhmh... look at that little **** *showing little pinky finger*.
I was almost yelling. It wasn't really a playful vibe, it was just to piss them off. They had no right to treat me like that. People around me were watching, I'm pretty sure. But I was totally unapologetic. I was the unapologetic *******. Call me stupid or call me real.
The first few girls I approached were nice and playful. But as expected at Foufs, I had lots of b1tchy girls. I don't know why! It just is! This place is doomed with douchebags and b1tches, that's how I see it. But anyway, I just kept approaching and trying to keep the fun.
At some point, I approach some HB8.5 walking behind me. She then grabs my butt. I grab hers. She then squeezes my butt cheek really hard, and I do the same for hers. We start grinding for 3 seconds, and then she just runs away telling me she's lesbian.
I see her later that night. I approach out of state, and she gives me the weirdest look ever LOL.
I keep approaching a sh1t ton of girls. I lost Blondasian, Talya, Mole and Anthony in the HUGE ASS crowd, so I had to rely on myself and myself only.
Myself only.
And that's what I did. I approached a TON. I was in pure action taking. I had some drive about me that couldn't stop me. I was getting b1tchy reactions, but I kept going.
I remember those two 22 year old looking women I approached. I just said hello, and some of them just told me to go away.
Me : Hey! ****ing relax! It's not like every single dude here is a douchebag trying to hit on you! Geez, I'm trying to be nice and just strike a regular conversation, what's the problem?
Her : Oh sorry, we couldn't hear you so well. Sorry.
Wow. Just wow. When you break through that barrier and show your understand her bad assumptions she gives to every guy, she rationalizes her b1tchy behaviour and feels bad for being the "party pooper". ****ing great.
I went to the bar, and some random girl approached me. She tried to sneak in the bar to order some drink, lol. She asked me if she could do so. We talked for a bit. She was hot, looked older. She then bounced off... I think she was just looking for validation.
No. She approached me because I'm awesome.
I kept approaching. There was this girl I approached, gave me a really nice smile. Though, her friend got REALLY MAD, just for me talking to the girl. I haven't even talked to her before, but I could see the eyes of pure hate in her eyes.
And I stayed and talked to the girl, made her laugh and enjoy her time. And then, the girl came again and gave me the eyes of pure ****ing hate. I could see the rage in her eyes, like she wanted to murder me. She started pushing me, and then I lost my cool. Completely.
Me : I haven't even talked to you! You're gunna push me like that huh? Yeah, ****ing push me again. Do it again.
And she pushed me again. Some friend intervened to stop us, and then I left. Feeling sh1ttier than earlier.
You can't extinguish fire with fire. Don't fuel the hate.
I walked around, trying to forget about what happened. Managed to keep approaching every 1-2 minutes or so. Good stuff.
I remember sitting at a table of 2 girls near the coat check. My objective was just to make it fun and just add to the fun. I just sat there, and they gave me the dead look. Bored look, tried to ignore me. And while I was trying to make them talk, they wouldn't say sh1t.
So I annoyed the **** out of them by staying in place.
Was it my goal to annoy them? I don't know, frankly. My goal was definitely to get over my fear of awkwardness and my fear of the worst. I always feared that at some point some girl would burst out and punch me. Luckily, it never happened. I had the dead evil look, but I just stayed there. Tried to get some small talk going with some other girl friends who arrived. Managed to make some of them smile for a bit, had fun. But then, they turned back to the evil b1tches. It was inescapable.
I don't know what monster I had inside me. What was the motivation behind pushing it to the very worst? Even though I knew it was going nowhere, I had something that pushed me to keep going.
I have to agree. It came from the wrong place. It's like I had something to prove. Was it stupid? Yeah.
Friday, March 7th
Nightgame at Muzique nightclub. With Blondasian, Talya, Dominic, Raoul (friend of Nissanth. Guy who wants to start Pickup).
Night started off quite well. I approached exactly like I did at Foufs. But girls were MUCH MORE RECEPTIVE AND NICE. It shocked me. Can environments really be that different?
I grinded Blondasian for a bit. I'm friendzoning her.
I approached some HB9 who was already smiling at my retarded dancing. I went in physical. Then, after a few minutes, I see her dancing with some dude that looks much older than me. Oh daym.
I go to the house section of the club and approach some group of girl. I go in for the hottest one. Definitely HB8.5 or HB9, confirmed by Dominic and Raoul haha. We grinded, and it was weird.
Oh sh1t, alright. SO I'm grinding a hotass girl right here. It's cool I guess... Hum, that's it?
And then I was wondering how the fck I did for everything to be so easy. I dunno, I just approached.
Thursday, March 6th
I arrived at Foufs, the club, with Blondasian, Talya, HB Mole. I had fun slapping theirs asses when I felt like it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fstIJb24Tmw
Anyway. After an hour wait, we get in.
My first approach is my harshest one. The girls are plain evil. They tell me to **** off and that they hate asians. I just amplified it and played with it.
Me : Oh yeah? How does it feel to like small little asian ****? Oh yeah, you like it inside of you huuh? Mhmhmhmh... look at that little **** *showing little pinky finger*.
I was almost yelling. It wasn't really a playful vibe, it was just to piss them off. They had no right to treat me like that. People around me were watching, I'm pretty sure. But I was totally unapologetic. I was the unapologetic *******. Call me stupid or call me real.
The first few girls I approached were nice and playful. But as expected at Foufs, I had lots of b1tchy girls. I don't know why! It just is! This place is doomed with douchebags and b1tches, that's how I see it. But anyway, I just kept approaching and trying to keep the fun.
At some point, I approach some HB8.5 walking behind me. She then grabs my butt. I grab hers. She then squeezes my butt cheek really hard, and I do the same for hers. We start grinding for 3 seconds, and then she just runs away telling me she's lesbian.
I see her later that night. I approach out of state, and she gives me the weirdest look ever LOL.
I keep approaching a sh1t ton of girls. I lost Blondasian, Talya, Mole and Anthony in the HUGE ASS crowd, so I had to rely on myself and myself only.
Myself only.
And that's what I did. I approached a TON. I was in pure action taking. I had some drive about me that couldn't stop me. I was getting b1tchy reactions, but I kept going.
I remember those two 22 year old looking women I approached. I just said hello, and some of them just told me to go away.
Me : Hey! ****ing relax! It's not like every single dude here is a douchebag trying to hit on you! Geez, I'm trying to be nice and just strike a regular conversation, what's the problem?
Her : Oh sorry, we couldn't hear you so well. Sorry.
Wow. Just wow. When you break through that barrier and show your understand her bad assumptions she gives to every guy, she rationalizes her b1tchy behaviour and feels bad for being the "party pooper". ****ing great.
I went to the bar, and some random girl approached me. She tried to sneak in the bar to order some drink, lol. She asked me if she could do so. We talked for a bit. She was hot, looked older. She then bounced off... I think she was just looking for validation.
No. She approached me because I'm awesome.
I kept approaching. There was this girl I approached, gave me a really nice smile. Though, her friend got REALLY MAD, just for me talking to the girl. I haven't even talked to her before, but I could see the eyes of pure hate in her eyes.
And I stayed and talked to the girl, made her laugh and enjoy her time. And then, the girl came again and gave me the eyes of pure ****ing hate. I could see the rage in her eyes, like she wanted to murder me. She started pushing me, and then I lost my cool. Completely.
Me : I haven't even talked to you! You're gunna push me like that huh? Yeah, ****ing push me again. Do it again.
And she pushed me again. Some friend intervened to stop us, and then I left. Feeling sh1ttier than earlier.
You can't extinguish fire with fire. Don't fuel the hate.
I walked around, trying to forget about what happened. Managed to keep approaching every 1-2 minutes or so. Good stuff.
I remember sitting at a table of 2 girls near the coat check. My objective was just to make it fun and just add to the fun. I just sat there, and they gave me the dead look. Bored look, tried to ignore me. And while I was trying to make them talk, they wouldn't say sh1t.
So I annoyed the **** out of them by staying in place.
Was it my goal to annoy them? I don't know, frankly. My goal was definitely to get over my fear of awkwardness and my fear of the worst. I always feared that at some point some girl would burst out and punch me. Luckily, it never happened. I had the dead evil look, but I just stayed there. Tried to get some small talk going with some other girl friends who arrived. Managed to make some of them smile for a bit, had fun. But then, they turned back to the evil b1tches. It was inescapable.
I don't know what monster I had inside me. What was the motivation behind pushing it to the very worst? Even though I knew it was going nowhere, I had something that pushed me to keep going.
I have to agree. It came from the wrong place. It's like I had something to prove. Was it stupid? Yeah.
Friday, March 7th
Nightgame at Muzique nightclub. With Blondasian, Talya, Dominic, Raoul (friend of Nissanth. Guy who wants to start Pickup).
Night started off quite well. I approached exactly like I did at Foufs. But girls were MUCH MORE RECEPTIVE AND NICE. It shocked me. Can environments really be that different?
I grinded Blondasian for a bit. I'm friendzoning her.
I approached some HB9 who was already smiling at my retarded dancing. I went in physical. Then, after a few minutes, I see her dancing with some dude that looks much older than me. Oh daym.
I go to the house section of the club and approach some group of girl. I go in for the hottest one. Definitely HB8.5 or HB9, confirmed by Dominic and Raoul haha. We grinded, and it was weird.
Oh sh1t, alright. SO I'm grinding a hotass girl right here. It's cool I guess... Hum, that's it?
And then I was wondering how the fck I did for everything to be so easy. I dunno, I just approached.
She has to leave to get her friends. Later, I see her on the couch with some other chick. I approach, she gives me the drunk super horny look. She slides her hand in my inner thigh and we get closer. I tell her to kiss me on the cheek, and I turn my head to get her lips. We do kiss on the lips and she slaps me playfully with her lovely smile. We keep talking for a bit, and I start getting in my head... and then she ejects all of the sudden.
Ahhh! SUCCESS BARRIER.
So I kept approaching. I had some b1tchy set upstairs near the balcony. I was talking to them, trying to break their barrier while being super obnoxious and retardedly loud. EVERYONE upstairs could hear me, and Dominic was really starting to cringe. Was I stupid doing this? Well, I totally knew it was going nowhere. One thing I knew, it really did put me in a state of not giving a fvck. And that's a great foundation to have. It wasn't about getting them. It was about me and my own self-amusement. It was funny as hell.
So I went back inside. No luck, girls are starting to reject my approaches. But I keep the fun. I always burn it to the ground when it doesn't go well. What else can I do really?
There was this group of girls I approached. Kind of hot. I came in inoffensive, but they started acting b1tchy with me. I was really innocent. And they told me to fvck off again, and yeah. I did my retarded sh1t, pushed my butt out and in their little circle. So they pushed me. I came back to say something else, and then Dominic randomly came in to grab me.
And then, this is where I started getting mad, out of control. Dominic held me tight, and I was debating furiously so he could let me out. Everyone was watching again, no exception. He made us look even stupider, but this wasn't the problem. The problem was that he was being the worst wingman ever. I stood up, told him that he was being the biggest ***** on the planet. After that, I felt sh1tty again.
Sorry man. I didn't mean it at all. I was just, frustrated...
We went back to the dance floor. Raoul was grinding his butt on some girl who was already getting grinded by some guy. She PUSHES him HARD.
Immediately, I jump in and yell at the top of my lungs.
Me : HEY! YOU DON'T DO THAT, THAT'S DISRESPECTFUL.
And then the boyfriend comes in directly and stops us from getting any closer.
I go back to Raoul.
Me : Hey man. You don't tolerate any disrespectful behaviour like this. Sometimes, you gotta stand up for yourself. There's a fine line between being an ******* and being real. Sometimes, people need to hear what they have to hear.
But all of this was coming from the wrong frame of mind.
What happened to my self who felt empathy for others? Empathy for the people that couldn't enjoy themselves as much, because they were lost in unconscious behaviours? Empathy for the people who are mean to me? Is it really their fault that they act like that? Do they know any better? Did their parents teach them any better? Maybe those people are full of negativity, maybe they are sad, unhappy people that just want love.
And it shook me to realize that I was just acting absolutely stupid those past 2 days.
Later that night, I saw the angry boyfriend. I walked up to him. I was absolutely sincere in my words.
Me : Hey man, I'm really sorry for earlier. I didn't mean to upset you.
He nodded. He putted his fist up for a pump, and we did. And I felt such a big relief as I did so. It felt like every little bit of rage in me just flew away. And I felt like my real self again.
I approached some 3 HB9s that looked 20+ on some couch. I talked to one of them, the 2 others give me the dirtiest "Oh fvck..." look, and the one I'm talking to is trying to be polite in her uninterestedness. She tells me she has a boyfriend. The boyfriend tells me to fvck off as he arrives.
Me : Hey man, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
I stand up, extend my hand to shake his. He's shocked, he can't believe I'm being nice to him. He shakes my hand in confusion, and I'm glad I avoided potential sh1t with that.
In the line to get our jackets back, I reapproach some of the asian girls who rejected me and ask them if I can cut in line behind them. They don't seem cool with it, but I still do LOL. What can they do? It's hilarious, and it helped my friends to cut in too.
I walked back to my car, feeling really good. I felt good for getting in touch with my nice self again.
What's the positive of all this?
I got to experience the worst of the worst. It made me stronger, or not really. It also woke up my dark side, which is pretty bad and harsh. At the same time, my amount of not giving a fvck was better. But it made me lose touch with my nicer side.
So the positive is that I had to plough through bullsh1t. And I now know that anger is always wrong and is a game killer.
By the way, Melissa texted me again. She waited 6 days to text back. Didn't answer at all yet.
Saturday,
Watched a couple videos from Pimp by Julien. GREAT stuff, I'm glad I did. It kind of cleared my mind a bit from the bullsh1t of the past 2 days.
CONCLUSION
- Bullsh1t is bullsh1t. Don't worry, get past it. Some environments are really harsh and can get the worst out of you. Your dark side. Don't let it overwhelm you like it did to me. But do push to the max, see how it goes.
- Anger is a game killer. Don't let it get to you.
- Apologize to end an argument. Admit that it was your fault, even though you know it wasn't. Just apologize like that. It doesn't make you weaker, in fact it makes you stronger. The guy will be astonished with your niceness, and can't help it but be nice in return. It feels so much better than fuelling hate.
- You don't have anything to prove. Don't try to prove to yourself that you don't give a sh1t. You just do. It was weak of me, yes. But it was a great realization to have.
- BE FVCKING NICE TO PEOPLE...
Ahhh! SUCCESS BARRIER.
So I kept approaching. I had some b1tchy set upstairs near the balcony. I was talking to them, trying to break their barrier while being super obnoxious and retardedly loud. EVERYONE upstairs could hear me, and Dominic was really starting to cringe. Was I stupid doing this? Well, I totally knew it was going nowhere. One thing I knew, it really did put me in a state of not giving a fvck. And that's a great foundation to have. It wasn't about getting them. It was about me and my own self-amusement. It was funny as hell.
So I went back inside. No luck, girls are starting to reject my approaches. But I keep the fun. I always burn it to the ground when it doesn't go well. What else can I do really?
There was this group of girls I approached. Kind of hot. I came in inoffensive, but they started acting b1tchy with me. I was really innocent. And they told me to fvck off again, and yeah. I did my retarded sh1t, pushed my butt out and in their little circle. So they pushed me. I came back to say something else, and then Dominic randomly came in to grab me.
And then, this is where I started getting mad, out of control. Dominic held me tight, and I was debating furiously so he could let me out. Everyone was watching again, no exception. He made us look even stupider, but this wasn't the problem. The problem was that he was being the worst wingman ever. I stood up, told him that he was being the biggest ***** on the planet. After that, I felt sh1tty again.
Sorry man. I didn't mean it at all. I was just, frustrated...
We went back to the dance floor. Raoul was grinding his butt on some girl who was already getting grinded by some guy. She PUSHES him HARD.
Immediately, I jump in and yell at the top of my lungs.
Me : HEY! YOU DON'T DO THAT, THAT'S DISRESPECTFUL.
And then the boyfriend comes in directly and stops us from getting any closer.
I go back to Raoul.
Me : Hey man. You don't tolerate any disrespectful behaviour like this. Sometimes, you gotta stand up for yourself. There's a fine line between being an ******* and being real. Sometimes, people need to hear what they have to hear.
But all of this was coming from the wrong frame of mind.
What happened to my self who felt empathy for others? Empathy for the people that couldn't enjoy themselves as much, because they were lost in unconscious behaviours? Empathy for the people who are mean to me? Is it really their fault that they act like that? Do they know any better? Did their parents teach them any better? Maybe those people are full of negativity, maybe they are sad, unhappy people that just want love.
And it shook me to realize that I was just acting absolutely stupid those past 2 days.
Later that night, I saw the angry boyfriend. I walked up to him. I was absolutely sincere in my words.
Me : Hey man, I'm really sorry for earlier. I didn't mean to upset you.
He nodded. He putted his fist up for a pump, and we did. And I felt such a big relief as I did so. It felt like every little bit of rage in me just flew away. And I felt like my real self again.
I approached some 3 HB9s that looked 20+ on some couch. I talked to one of them, the 2 others give me the dirtiest "Oh fvck..." look, and the one I'm talking to is trying to be polite in her uninterestedness. She tells me she has a boyfriend. The boyfriend tells me to fvck off as he arrives.
Me : Hey man, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
I stand up, extend my hand to shake his. He's shocked, he can't believe I'm being nice to him. He shakes my hand in confusion, and I'm glad I avoided potential sh1t with that.
In the line to get our jackets back, I reapproach some of the asian girls who rejected me and ask them if I can cut in line behind them. They don't seem cool with it, but I still do LOL. What can they do? It's hilarious, and it helped my friends to cut in too.
I walked back to my car, feeling really good. I felt good for getting in touch with my nice self again.
What's the positive of all this?
I got to experience the worst of the worst. It made me stronger, or not really. It also woke up my dark side, which is pretty bad and harsh. At the same time, my amount of not giving a fvck was better. But it made me lose touch with my nicer side.
So the positive is that I had to plough through bullsh1t. And I now know that anger is always wrong and is a game killer.
By the way, Melissa texted me again. She waited 6 days to text back. Didn't answer at all yet.
It's too late to meetup during the break, too much work. So I'll wait until Tuesday to sort things out and invite her out. There's no point in texting her.
Saturday,
Watched a couple videos from Pimp by Julien. GREAT stuff, I'm glad I did. It kind of cleared my mind a bit from the bullsh1t of the past 2 days.
CONCLUSION
- Bullsh1t is bullsh1t. Don't worry, get past it. Some environments are really harsh and can get the worst out of you. Your dark side. Don't let it overwhelm you like it did to me. But do push to the max, see how it goes.
- Anger is a game killer. Don't let it get to you.
- Apologize to end an argument. Admit that it was your fault, even though you know it wasn't. Just apologize like that. It doesn't make you weaker, in fact it makes you stronger. The guy will be astonished with your niceness, and can't help it but be nice in return. It feels so much better than fuelling hate.
- You don't have anything to prove. Don't try to prove to yourself that you don't give a sh1t. You just do. It was weak of me, yes. But it was a great realization to have.
- BE FVCKING NICE TO PEOPLE...
Thursday, March 13th
I tried to concentrate on my assignment, but I couldn't. There was a metal song playing in the background, some song about love. And I thought of Melissa. Was I in love with her? Absolutely not. But I was in love with the idea of falling in love.
Will I ever fall in love one day? If I could just, get her in my arms. Just look at her in the eyes and not think. Not think of anything about the world. Just enjoy the present moment, and her embrace. And her joyful smile, and her breath against my skin, and her melodic voice, and...
... And then I couldn't take it anymore. I closed my computer and hid my face in my hands for another 15 minutes.
Why do I want it so much? Why do I need affection so much? I'm not a fvcking woman. I am my own man, I thought.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU_FTQjdP1w
Monday, March 10th
Worked on essay during all break. In yoga class, I'm not very loud and I don't talk to girls at all, really.
I went to the local mall and asked some random girl on directions. She wasn't pretty, and then I ejected.
Tuesday, March 11th
Photography class. We get to the museum downtown with the bus.
When I sit, I chat to Melissa a bit, and her friends. Not much was said at all. She apologized for being sick and not being able to pick up the phone.
I don't even talk to her that much at the museum. She doesn't want to join me to visit the rest of the museum on our 20 minutes of free time we have left, whatever.
In the bus, before we arrive to school, she asks me why I tried to call her. She had her twinkly eyes again. I laughed a bit, with a knowing smile, and I told her that it was simply because I wanted to talk to some girl. She giggled a bit.
Me : Yeah, I'll call you maybe tonight or tomorrow.
Her : Ohhh alright. I'll be waiting patiently! More like impatiently.
I don't know if it was sarcasm or not, anyway.
I leave bus. Walk around school and see her again. I was about to ask her out exactly at that point, but she was busy on the hphone. I walk away and give her the *Call me* sign with my hands. Obviously I didn't wait for her to call.
Basically called her later that day. As soon as she picks up the phone, she giggles and we start talking a bit. She's all playful and happy. I invite her out for ice cream or smoothie, then suggest we do both. She's like : Yeah I like the way you think! Yeah, it sounds like a plan, yeah.
I said friday at 7. She tells me maybe, because she has to go see someone at the hospital possibly. She tells me she'll text me back.
I got super happy because she initially said yes. She's fvcking hot too, 8.5.
Wednesday, March 12th
Fun day.
I meet this guy named Jonathan at my school. He's super social, it's awesome. He immediately invites me to his place, apparently 2 streets away from the school. We walk around the school, I chat to my female friends and he immediately jumps on the occasion to invite them to his place. 3-4 of them said yes at first, but then d1tched last minute lol. Anyway, still ended up at his place.
I learned a bit more about him. He apparently was depressed when younger, had close to no friends. It totally shocked me, because he seemed like the most social guy ever. He was charming too. It amazed me. Though, I could still see a bit of flinching in his eyes, the type of uncertain, insecure flinching, but it wasn't that noticeable at all really. People who are newbies at this probably don't understand what I am talking about, but if you have social intuition, you know that. A guy that's very confident and centered doesn't flinch at all. He's rock solid.
He doesn't have many friends. But his potential is endless. He could be a future popular guy at school if he really did put in the effort, that's my opinion.
Thursday, March 13th
When I opened up my phone, Melissa texted me.
I tried to concentrate, but I couldn't. There was a metal song playing in the background, some song about love. And I thought of Melissa. Was I in love with her? Absolutely not. But I was in love with the idea of falling in love.
Will I ever fall in love one day? If I could just, get her in my arms. Just look at her in the eyes and not think. Not think of anything about the world. Just enjoy the present moment, and her embrace. And her joyful smile, and her breath against my skin, and her melodic voice, and...
... And then I couldn't take it anymore. I closed my computer and hid my face in my hands for another 15 minutes.
Why do I want it so much? Why do I need affection so much? I'm not a fvcking woman. I am my own man, I thought.
And I felt like such sh1t.
She's nothing. Who the fvck cares? You'll meet so many other chicks like that. You can reproduce this experience with any other hot chick, even hotter.
And then I looked at the text again, forced myself to laugh a bit, and went to class.
In class, I didn't talk to the hottie from last time. I was too much of a b1tch, felt too much like sh1t to do anything.
Bus stop,
I see Maya, Nuggetgirl's friend. I chat with her. In the bus, I tell her to sit next to me. She playfully refuses and then comes back next to me.
Then, we start chatting about funny stuff. I tease her a lot. She was texting to Nuggetgirl things she didn't wanna show me, apparently about me.
Me : Blablalbal *talking about guys*.
Her : Haha, I like latinos (or sumthin like that), but I don't know about asian guys
Me : Haha
We teased each other. I got her number too. Good stuff. She's single too.
But then later near the local mall, waiting for the bus, she tells me that she has a date tonight, has to look nice and everything. She was still giving me the longer-than-usual eye contact that seemed a bit flirty, or playful.
Later I text her :
Friday, March 14th
I went downtown with Denis, Porno and Sols and we did some daygame.
Tried to record some infield footage. It was much harder than expected, and Denis couldn't do as well with the camera. Same for me.
I did pull off some crazy, funny sh1t. Also, after the approach, we pointed at the camera and we told them it was for a social experiment (true, it was for a humanities class for Porno's presentation).
I got a girl's number, pointed the camera directly at her face. I did so in 10 seconds LOL, she said yes. A 7 or so, but still. We texted back and forth some lenghty texts, but then we stopped. I don't know what I'll do, maybe setup a date just for the reference? And then cancel afterwards telling her I have a girlfriend XD hahahaha... so mean.
Saturday, March 15th
YOGA RETREAT.
I went to the centre with my class, along with another yoga class from my school. It was for phys ed.
Cool stuff. I sit next to the Kaylas. The two of them I didn't really talk to that much, but I quickly became friends with them. One of them, dark hair, is pretty cute/hot. The other one has an okay face, but omg...
She was wearing leggings, totally see through when bending over. I could see her ass crack perfectly and her pink g-string pass right in between the ass cheeks. She would bend over, look down between her legs and wink at me. I tried not to get too hard during the yoga practice, but it was hard (no pun intended LOL).
I tried to concentrate on my assignment, but I couldn't. There was a metal song playing in the background, some song about love. And I thought of Melissa. Was I in love with her? Absolutely not. But I was in love with the idea of falling in love.
Will I ever fall in love one day? If I could just, get her in my arms. Just look at her in the eyes and not think. Not think of anything about the world. Just enjoy the present moment, and her embrace. And her joyful smile, and her breath against my skin, and her melodic voice, and...
... And then I couldn't take it anymore. I closed my computer and hid my face in my hands for another 15 minutes.
Why do I want it so much? Why do I need affection so much? I'm not a fvcking woman. I am my own man, I thought.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU_FTQjdP1w
Monday, March 10th
Worked on essay during all break. In yoga class, I'm not very loud and I don't talk to girls at all, really.
I went to the local mall and asked some random girl on directions. She wasn't pretty, and then I ejected.
Tuesday, March 11th
Photography class. We get to the museum downtown with the bus.
When I sit, I chat to Melissa a bit, and her friends. Not much was said at all. She apologized for being sick and not being able to pick up the phone.
I don't even talk to her that much at the museum. She doesn't want to join me to visit the rest of the museum on our 20 minutes of free time we have left, whatever.
In the bus, before we arrive to school, she asks me why I tried to call her. She had her twinkly eyes again. I laughed a bit, with a knowing smile, and I told her that it was simply because I wanted to talk to some girl. She giggled a bit.
Me : Yeah, I'll call you maybe tonight or tomorrow.
Her : Ohhh alright. I'll be waiting patiently! More like impatiently.
I don't know if it was sarcasm or not, anyway.
I leave bus. Walk around school and see her again. I was about to ask her out exactly at that point, but she was busy on the hphone. I walk away and give her the *Call me* sign with my hands. Obviously I didn't wait for her to call.
Basically called her later that day. As soon as she picks up the phone, she giggles and we start talking a bit. She's all playful and happy. I invite her out for ice cream or smoothie, then suggest we do both. She's like : Yeah I like the way you think! Yeah, it sounds like a plan, yeah.
I said friday at 7. She tells me maybe, because she has to go see someone at the hospital possibly. She tells me she'll text me back.
I got super happy because she initially said yes. She's fvcking hot too, 8.5.
Wednesday, March 12th
Fun day.
I meet this guy named Jonathan at my school. He's super social, it's awesome. He immediately invites me to his place, apparently 2 streets away from the school. We walk around the school, I chat to my female friends and he immediately jumps on the occasion to invite them to his place. 3-4 of them said yes at first, but then d1tched last minute lol. Anyway, still ended up at his place.
I learned a bit more about him. He apparently was depressed when younger, had close to no friends. It totally shocked me, because he seemed like the most social guy ever. He was charming too. It amazed me. Though, I could still see a bit of flinching in his eyes, the type of uncertain, insecure flinching, but it wasn't that noticeable at all really. People who are newbies at this probably don't understand what I am talking about, but if you have social intuition, you know that. A guy that's very confident and centered doesn't flinch at all. He's rock solid.
He doesn't have many friends. But his potential is endless. He could be a future popular guy at school if he really did put in the effort, that's my opinion.
Thursday, March 13th
When I opened up my phone, Melissa texted me.
I laughed my ass off as I sent this text. Dominic saw it too, he was sitting next to me in the computer lab. After he left, I worked on my assignment.Her : Hey Mindgamez, so in the end I can't chill with you on friday. Hope that's okay. I'm sorry. Though ice cream some day would be nice, but full disclosure I must admit I do have a thing with a guy right now so if you wanted this to be a date it can't be that.
Her : Cooool okay so see you
Me : That's cool, I still have my left hand in handy
I tried to concentrate, but I couldn't. There was a metal song playing in the background, some song about love. And I thought of Melissa. Was I in love with her? Absolutely not. But I was in love with the idea of falling in love.
Will I ever fall in love one day? If I could just, get her in my arms. Just look at her in the eyes and not think. Not think of anything about the world. Just enjoy the present moment, and her embrace. And her joyful smile, and her breath against my skin, and her melodic voice, and...
... And then I couldn't take it anymore. I closed my computer and hid my face in my hands for another 15 minutes.
Why do I want it so much? Why do I need affection so much? I'm not a fvcking woman. I am my own man, I thought.
And I felt like such sh1t.
She's nothing. Who the fvck cares? You'll meet so many other chicks like that. You can reproduce this experience with any other hot chick, even hotter.
And then I looked at the text again, forced myself to laugh a bit, and went to class.
In class, I didn't talk to the hottie from last time. I was too much of a b1tch, felt too much like sh1t to do anything.
Bus stop,
I see Maya, Nuggetgirl's friend. I chat with her. In the bus, I tell her to sit next to me. She playfully refuses and then comes back next to me.
Then, we start chatting about funny stuff. I tease her a lot. She was texting to Nuggetgirl things she didn't wanna show me, apparently about me.
Me : Blablalbal *talking about guys*.
Her : Haha, I like latinos (or sumthin like that), but I don't know about asian guys
Me : Haha
We teased each other. I got her number too. Good stuff. She's single too.
But then later near the local mall, waiting for the bus, she tells me that she has a date tonight, has to look nice and everything. She was still giving me the longer-than-usual eye contact that seemed a bit flirty, or playful.
Later I text her :
Cool, she thinks I'm hot? At least somewhat (;
Friday, March 14th
I went downtown with Denis, Porno and Sols and we did some daygame.
Tried to record some infield footage. It was much harder than expected, and Denis couldn't do as well with the camera. Same for me.
I did pull off some crazy, funny sh1t. Also, after the approach, we pointed at the camera and we told them it was for a social experiment (true, it was for a humanities class for Porno's presentation).
I got a girl's number, pointed the camera directly at her face. I did so in 10 seconds LOL, she said yes. A 7 or so, but still. We texted back and forth some lenghty texts, but then we stopped. I don't know what I'll do, maybe setup a date just for the reference? And then cancel afterwards telling her I have a girlfriend XD hahahaha... so mean.
Saturday, March 15th
YOGA RETREAT.
I went to the centre with my class, along with another yoga class from my school. It was for phys ed.
Cool stuff. I sit next to the Kaylas. The two of them I didn't really talk to that much, but I quickly became friends with them. One of them, dark hair, is pretty cute/hot. The other one has an okay face, but omg...
She was wearing leggings, totally see through when bending over. I could see her ass crack perfectly and her pink g-string pass right in between the ass cheeks. She would bend over, look down between her legs and wink at me. I tried not to get too hard during the yoga practice, but it was hard (no pun intended LOL).
So the Kayla with the see through leggings was the one to talk to me first actually. We were near the bunk beds and we were unpacking our stuff and she made a comment on something I said, and that's how it started.
Sometimes she'd bend facing me, giving me a nice view on her cleavage. She'd look at me and hide her cleavage with a totally obvious *ahhh you checking me out!* look.
The other Kayla was going Aww! when we were teasing each other. Both Kaylas are HB8s, in my opinion.
I met some 2 other cool guys at the camp. They told me I was very chill and all. One of the guys had a really hot girlfriend. IMO she was the hottest one in the whole centre, though she was 22.
I open up my phone. Melissa texted me this. It was about my *That's cool, I still have my left hand in handy* text LOL :
Like REALLY? You don't expect guys to jerk off? Jerking off makes me the biggest perv? Welcome to reality girl, guys have penises and have hormones.
The yoga,
was amazing. Quite tiring at first, but it was very restorative and relaxing. Too bad I couldn't find a female partner for the partner yoga part... So stupid. The Kaylas's friend Michaela just kept ****blocking when I wanted to join in. Damnit.
Was fun nonetheless. Didn't chat to that many other girls to be honest. Yes I was social with a bunch of people, but not beyond that really. Yeah, some guys I made good friends with and some other girl who was very friendly. But I could have done more.
We went eating. They squeezed their boobs on my chest, it was funny.
In the middle of the day, we had presentations to do. I decided to talk about Meditation and Eckhart Tolle's concept on being present. Perfect topic! Everyone told me that my presentation was amazing and that I was a great speaker. Awesome. It's funny because right before, I locked eye contact super long with sheer leggings Kayla, and she simply said : Wanna be my new friend? I said yeah, it was a funny awkward moment for the whole class.
The very last session of yoga of the day,
We went back to lying on the ground. The lights were dimmed, and the teacher told us to close our eyes. I didn't, because I feel more present when my eyes are open and I connect with the world.
And I asked myself about my place in the universe. I realized how this trip is nothing compared to the bigger picture, how my life meant so much more than the present moment. Yet, the present moment is the only thing that exists, so I embraced it.
We got ready for bed. I chatted with the Kaylas. The one with the dark hair told me a story of some couple who used mayonnaise as lubricant, so we kept talking about it. Funny sh1t.
At night, couldn't fall asleep. I rose from bed, took a sheet of paper and started writing to get my mind relaxed. I wrote about how I was ready to burn the fvcking boats and go all out once I come back to school. Slept at around 1:30 AM.
Sunday, March 16th
Woke up, did some restorative yoga. It was great. Good stuff we did.
The Kayla with the sheer yoga pants kept giving me the eye brows and sh1t testing me with her bullsh1t stuff.
At some point we start hugging, we tickle each other near the beds and then she runs away. I'm pretty sure she'd be down for me. I was too chicken to get her number, I know.
Tomorrow is last yoga class, so I'm taking her number down FO SHO.
We hugged goodbye before leaving.
I just shake hands with the cool guys from earlier. Them, I should have taken their number down lol. Wtver.
Local mall,
I went there totally down to approach. I don't know what I had that day, but I had some drive in me.
First random people I ask them where is SabrettVille (inside joke with Porno. Sabrett is the hotdog company in NY that's awesome). And then just move.
I see a cute girl with her friends in the line of a Starbucks. People could totally hear me. I hesitate a bit, but then just jump in thinking it'll be a funny line to say.
Me : Hey.
People look at me, I feel the attention drawn onto me. The girls already give me a weird look as I approach, eehhh...
Me : Do you wanna be my valentine for St-Patrick's day?
LOL
Her : Uhhh, no. You already walked up to me and said me some random stuff some other day...
I force myself to laugh it off and I walk away. People are looking at me, but I try and keep my cool.
CONCLUSION
- Girls like you just for you. Sometimes, they'll be the first ones to hit on you. Awesome.
- Fvcking success barrier strikes again damnit. Overcome that b1tch!
- Yoga is amazing. Do it. It's like meditation but with added exercise.
- Do your approaches as much as you can! Try every day possible! I almost decided not to go out of laziness, but I forced myself to do a 30 minutes detour to go to the mall.
- Assume value, simply give love, and the coolest guys will think you're awesome. That's what happened. I didn't expect more, and they were real nice.
- Be awesum.
Sometimes she'd bend facing me, giving me a nice view on her cleavage. She'd look at me and hide her cleavage with a totally obvious *ahhh you checking me out!* look.
The other Kayla was going Aww! when we were teasing each other. Both Kaylas are HB8s, in my opinion.
I met some 2 other cool guys at the camp. They told me I was very chill and all. One of the guys had a really hot girlfriend. IMO she was the hottest one in the whole centre, though she was 22.
I open up my phone. Melissa texted me this. It was about my *That's cool, I still have my left hand in handy* text LOL :
I felt this text like a sting in the heart, but then laughed it off a while later. Now I think it's super funny.
Like REALLY? You don't expect guys to jerk off? Jerking off makes me the biggest perv? Welcome to reality girl, guys have penises and have hormones.
The yoga,
was amazing. Quite tiring at first, but it was very restorative and relaxing. Too bad I couldn't find a female partner for the partner yoga part... So stupid. The Kaylas's friend Michaela just kept ****blocking when I wanted to join in. Damnit.
Was fun nonetheless. Didn't chat to that many other girls to be honest. Yes I was social with a bunch of people, but not beyond that really. Yeah, some guys I made good friends with and some other girl who was very friendly. But I could have done more.
We went eating. They squeezed their boobs on my chest, it was funny.
In the middle of the day, we had presentations to do. I decided to talk about Meditation and Eckhart Tolle's concept on being present. Perfect topic! Everyone told me that my presentation was amazing and that I was a great speaker. Awesome. It's funny because right before, I locked eye contact super long with sheer leggings Kayla, and she simply said : Wanna be my new friend? I said yeah, it was a funny awkward moment for the whole class.
The very last session of yoga of the day,
We went back to lying on the ground. The lights were dimmed, and the teacher told us to close our eyes. I didn't, because I feel more present when my eyes are open and I connect with the world.
And I asked myself about my place in the universe. I realized how this trip is nothing compared to the bigger picture, how my life meant so much more than the present moment. Yet, the present moment is the only thing that exists, so I embraced it.
We got ready for bed. I chatted with the Kaylas. The one with the dark hair told me a story of some couple who used mayonnaise as lubricant, so we kept talking about it. Funny sh1t.
At night, couldn't fall asleep. I rose from bed, took a sheet of paper and started writing to get my mind relaxed. I wrote about how I was ready to burn the fvcking boats and go all out once I come back to school. Slept at around 1:30 AM.
Sunday, March 16th
Woke up, did some restorative yoga. It was great. Good stuff we did.
The Kayla with the sheer yoga pants kept giving me the eye brows and sh1t testing me with her bullsh1t stuff.
At some point we start hugging, we tickle each other near the beds and then she runs away. I'm pretty sure she'd be down for me. I was too chicken to get her number, I know.
Tomorrow is last yoga class, so I'm taking her number down FO SHO.
We hugged goodbye before leaving.
I just shake hands with the cool guys from earlier. Them, I should have taken their number down lol. Wtver.
Local mall,
I went there totally down to approach. I don't know what I had that day, but I had some drive in me.
First random people I ask them where is SabrettVille (inside joke with Porno. Sabrett is the hotdog company in NY that's awesome). And then just move.
I see a cute girl with her friends in the line of a Starbucks. People could totally hear me. I hesitate a bit, but then just jump in thinking it'll be a funny line to say.
Me : Hey.
People look at me, I feel the attention drawn onto me. The girls already give me a weird look as I approach, eehhh...
Me : Do you wanna be my valentine for St-Patrick's day?
LOL
Her : Uhhh, no. You already walked up to me and said me some random stuff some other day...
I force myself to laugh it off and I walk away. People are looking at me, but I try and keep my cool.
CONCLUSION
- Girls like you just for you. Sometimes, they'll be the first ones to hit on you. Awesome.
- Fvcking success barrier strikes again damnit. Overcome that b1tch!
- Yoga is amazing. Do it. It's like meditation but with added exercise.
- Do your approaches as much as you can! Try every day possible! I almost decided not to go out of laziness, but I forced myself to do a 30 minutes detour to go to the mall.
- Assume value, simply give love, and the coolest guys will think you're awesome. That's what happened. I didn't expect more, and they were real nice.
- Be awesum.
I try to do 1 approach a day at the mall near my bus stop. Find a store or something? Haha
Ahhh long busy week! I'll try and remember most of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcEROhyjaCs
Song I'm learning to play. Awesome. It was blasting in my iPod during the New York trip.
Monday, March 17th
During the break, I see Sarah (Richard's friend, some girl who was giving me the flirty eyes at some point). I get her number and invite her to Pioneer this friday. Though, I cancel a day before because I wanna go out with some other friends instead.
I see Melissa in the hallway on the way to class. She's acting all friendly again, her face is a bit red. She tells me about the jerking off text thingy how I should have said it was a joke earlier, blablabla. She starts talking but I cut her off immediately:
Me : So you have a boyfriend?
Her : No, I have a thing for a guy... kind of
And then she gives me the look of *idk if she's flirting or just teasing, trying to make me chase*
Me : Oh well, blablalbla.
Her : How was St-Pattys?
Me : It was great without you!
Blablabla, not much was said. Let her walk past.
Yoga class is fine. I decide not to get the Kaylas' numbers. I failed the NoFap challenge the day before, and I felt nothing whatsoever and realized that they weren't as hot as I thought at all. It should have been the lululemon effect at the yoga trip last weekend LOL. But yeah, should have taken their numbers down just for the reference anyway. Pfft.
I remember rushing to the bus to catch it, not going to the mall to approach. My excuse was that I got a girl's number today, so I did take action, at least.
Tuesday, March 18th
Nothing much.
Did English exam, then had a short break. I chilled with some buddies.
In class, I sit next to where Melissa's standing. She doesn't even acknowledge me or says hello.
We head to the lab. I say some joke about some picture on the wall, and she tells me that I'm annoying without looking at me. I tell her she's stupid and walk off. I ignore her for the rest of the class.
Local mall,
I did run around in circles for a while. I was very frustrated. I wasn't sad or anything, just frustrated that I came so close to getting Melissa. She was hot as hell. I ended up approaching one random ugly girl asking her for where was Sabrettville and then I gave he a high five and walked off. Pointless XD but still.
So I used that frustration as leverage. For some reason, I had so much more motivation to do other things. I did my habits and stuck to them. If you have negative energy in your body, use it to push you forward, not to beat yourself up.
Wednesday, March 19th
COol TiMez.
Break, I chilled with Icy for a bit. He was telling me about all his theories about self-development, game and stuff. He's a cool guy, has a few cool friends too who have access to very hot girls, he's fun to be around. He talks a lot and he doesn't take action, the only two things lol. Dude is still a virgin and never made sh1t happen with girls, OMG do something!
NuggetGirl has a boyfriend, awesome. Friendzone guaranteed, give me access to your hot friends. She told me about how she used to be a very shy kid without many friends back in the day. I was just listening to her talk 90% of the time for like 30 minutes, and it was very interesting to learn about her past. And then I learned the power of listening. If you just listen, people will talk and talk and talk. People love to talk.
I did the same in the bus with some dude I only talked to once. He was telling me about every kind of drugs he knew about. I wasn't interested in trying them in any way, but it was fascinating to learn about what type of effects they gave to people haha.
Earlier during Digital Media class, I talk to some new girl I haven't talked to. She hot, HB8 at least, latina-looking. The usual hottie sitting next to me, teased her a bit trying to take pictures of her for my assignment. Fvck, I have to make sh1t happen.
Local mall,
I did approach some cute girl. Told her she had nice hair as I walked off, she had a nice smile on her face.
Thursday, March 20th
Awesome.
Day starts off normal. Break, not much.
Modern Cinema class, I still pvssy out from talking to the hottie I talked to 2-3 weeks earlier. Wtf.
Nightgame,
It was nice. It was at the usual bar next to the school.
Before going out, I thought about it. I had only 6-7 weeks left of school, and my social circle game wasn't going anywhere really. I wasn't getting access to the hottest of the hottest chicks, only to the average cute ones. So I knew what to do.
BURN THE BOATS. COLD APPROACH.
Yeah. Ohhh, I shouldn't cold approach at school? Fvck this, I have nothing to lose. In 6-7 weeks, that's all I can rely on. I don't have time to build a big circle, It's over.
And that's what I did. I approached a good amount of girls at the bar. I wasn't stifled or afraid like usual. I was having fun, and it allowed me to talk to a few new chicks. They were quite receptive for the majority, I can't recall one bad reaction. I'm still having problems reapproaching the hotties from my success barriers that are stoopid, but hey. I still did my thing, cool.
Ahhh long busy week! I'll try and remember most of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcEROhyjaCs
Song I'm learning to play. Awesome. It was blasting in my iPod during the New York trip.
Monday, March 17th
During the break, I see Sarah (Richard's friend, some girl who was giving me the flirty eyes at some point). I get her number and invite her to Pioneer this friday. Though, I cancel a day before because I wanna go out with some other friends instead.
I see Melissa in the hallway on the way to class. She's acting all friendly again, her face is a bit red. She tells me about the jerking off text thingy how I should have said it was a joke earlier, blablabla. She starts talking but I cut her off immediately:
Me : So you have a boyfriend?
Her : No, I have a thing for a guy... kind of
And then she gives me the look of *idk if she's flirting or just teasing, trying to make me chase*
Me : Oh well, blablalbla.
Her : How was St-Pattys?
Me : It was great without you!
Blablabla, not much was said. Let her walk past.
Yoga class is fine. I decide not to get the Kaylas' numbers. I failed the NoFap challenge the day before, and I felt nothing whatsoever and realized that they weren't as hot as I thought at all. It should have been the lululemon effect at the yoga trip last weekend LOL. But yeah, should have taken their numbers down just for the reference anyway. Pfft.
I remember rushing to the bus to catch it, not going to the mall to approach. My excuse was that I got a girl's number today, so I did take action, at least.
Tuesday, March 18th
Nothing much.
Did English exam, then had a short break. I chilled with some buddies.
In class, I sit next to where Melissa's standing. She doesn't even acknowledge me or says hello.
We head to the lab. I say some joke about some picture on the wall, and she tells me that I'm annoying without looking at me. I tell her she's stupid and walk off. I ignore her for the rest of the class.
Local mall,
I did run around in circles for a while. I was very frustrated. I wasn't sad or anything, just frustrated that I came so close to getting Melissa. She was hot as hell. I ended up approaching one random ugly girl asking her for where was Sabrettville and then I gave he a high five and walked off. Pointless XD but still.
So I used that frustration as leverage. For some reason, I had so much more motivation to do other things. I did my habits and stuck to them. If you have negative energy in your body, use it to push you forward, not to beat yourself up.
Wednesday, March 19th
COol TiMez.
Break, I chilled with Icy for a bit. He was telling me about all his theories about self-development, game and stuff. He's a cool guy, has a few cool friends too who have access to very hot girls, he's fun to be around. He talks a lot and he doesn't take action, the only two things lol. Dude is still a virgin and never made sh1t happen with girls, OMG do something!
NuggetGirl has a boyfriend, awesome. Friendzone guaranteed, give me access to your hot friends. She told me about how she used to be a very shy kid without many friends back in the day. I was just listening to her talk 90% of the time for like 30 minutes, and it was very interesting to learn about her past. And then I learned the power of listening. If you just listen, people will talk and talk and talk. People love to talk.
I did the same in the bus with some dude I only talked to once. He was telling me about every kind of drugs he knew about. I wasn't interested in trying them in any way, but it was fascinating to learn about what type of effects they gave to people haha.
Earlier during Digital Media class, I talk to some new girl I haven't talked to. She hot, HB8 at least, latina-looking. The usual hottie sitting next to me, teased her a bit trying to take pictures of her for my assignment. Fvck, I have to make sh1t happen.
Local mall,
I did approach some cute girl. Told her she had nice hair as I walked off, she had a nice smile on her face.
Thursday, March 20th
Awesome.
Day starts off normal. Break, not much.
Modern Cinema class, I still pvssy out from talking to the hottie I talked to 2-3 weeks earlier. Wtf.
Nightgame,
It was nice. It was at the usual bar next to the school.
Before going out, I thought about it. I had only 6-7 weeks left of school, and my social circle game wasn't going anywhere really. I wasn't getting access to the hottest of the hottest chicks, only to the average cute ones. So I knew what to do.
BURN THE BOATS. COLD APPROACH.
Yeah. Ohhh, I shouldn't cold approach at school? Fvck this, I have nothing to lose. In 6-7 weeks, that's all I can rely on. I don't have time to build a big circle, It's over.
And that's what I did. I approached a good amount of girls at the bar. I wasn't stifled or afraid like usual. I was having fun, and it allowed me to talk to a few new chicks. They were quite receptive for the majority, I can't recall one bad reaction. I'm still having problems reapproaching the hotties from my success barriers that are stoopid, but hey. I still did my thing, cool.
Saturday, March 29th
A meaningful moment through a meaningless process.
3:21 PM
Maybe I'm just different. I don't know.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBhRJVrN9Cs
I feel a little lost.
I don't know how to explain. Like...
I just wish I could be happier overall.
Where does my happiness comes from? I have a date planned for today. The girl was hot according to Porno, like an 8 or 8.5 or so. She's 7.5 to me.
But it feels like as if I'm having a hard time being grateful for what I already have.
Love.
I can't even recognize the love around me. It seems like every person I meet is just a passing phase, that at some point in my life they won't be there anymore.
College ends in 5 weeks. After 5 weeks, most of the people I won't ever see ever again.
Life goes by so fast. You can't freeze time, you can't freeze the present moment. It always passes.
It's kind of depressing.
And this is why I commit myself to enjoying every second of my life. Because the present moment, you can never freeze it. You could give yourself the illusion that a pleasant moment you share with a wonderful person, a wonderful girl perhaps, feels like forever.
But at some point in time, it'll be gone forever.
And everything else will be silent.
3:44 PM
Girl texts back that she's far from town and that she can't come. I tell her next week, she agrees.
5:53 PM
Being fully honest here. I let myself cry for a bit just to let it out. And it made me realize something.
I realized that I have to express my love more often, for everyone I love. Not only girls, but every single person I'm grateful I met. Every single guy or girl who made my day more full of life, or every single guy or girl who was simply alive, here, with me. It doesn't matter whether that person was mad, furious at me. Whether that person was having a bad day and being negative. It doesn't matter. I have to express my love and empathy for others.
And I wished I did it more often.
And I really wished I did.
What you give, you shall receive back.
Is it emasculating? No. It's empowering to be true and sincere to your emotions. It's empowering to offer value to the world. If empowering to love for the sake of loving. And nothing else in this world is better.
Nothing else. I don't care about presence, about my goals, about my values, about getting laid, about approaching, about meeting the most girls as possible, about burning the boats, about pick up, about self-development, about friends, about my parents, about my family, about my grades, about whether I'll succeed in the business of filmmaking or not, about whether I'll become rich or not, about the sh1t from the world, about life.
I just want to give love. And I shall receive it back. If there could be one thing I could do for the rest of my life, is love. Making love, giving love, sharing love. From my very strong masculine essence that wants to conquer and achieve things in life comes my feminine essence to give love. And everyone should embrace both polarities.
The stronger the emotion, the stronger the lesson.
I have to make every moment meaningful. Every person I meet, it has meaning. Is it a meaningful process? To learn the game? Because I'm going to die one day, it has no meaning in the future. But it does have meaning right Now, which is what matters. Make every interaction a meaningful moment, even though through a meaningless process.
Saturday, March 22nd
Cool party.
Too bad I got SUPER DUPER drunk and had a crash around midnight. Literally couldn't move without puking. Idk why I fear puking so much.
Apparently, I did some pretty funny sh1t. Can't remember. In terms of girls, I talked to a few. The ratio was horrible, but couldn't do much about it.
Apparently some girl asked me to raise myself from the couch. I told her I would if she kissed me. She put her fingers on my lips pretending like so, and then before she could leave I tried to physically tell her to stay by touching her and sh1t LOL. Apparently it was funny to see me in action.
I walked to the sink, the mother gave me some water. I was too fcked up to recognize it was the mother, so I said : It's very nice of you for giving me water, but this water is as warm as some woman's pvssy!!...
And everyone cracked up crazy hahahaha.
And the night was pretty much it. I was too fcked up.
Conclusion? Stop drinking so much, it's bad.
Sunday, March 23rd
Hangover + tired extreme.
It was me and Porno at the mall this time. We did a few random approaches that didn't go anywhere really. Funny stuff. We were too tired to do anything, and I was feeling pretty dizzy too...
Monday, March 24th
No school. I filmed my project all day.
Tuesday, March 25th
English class. I arrive late, the teacher is super mad at me for some lame mistake I did correcting someone else's paper. I'm totally disgusted by her angry face, but I'm trying to keep calm.
In photography class, Melissa is giving me the flirty eyes again. For real. We just look at each other deep in the eye for 10 seconds for no reason, we don't say a word. She knows I want her, and she knows she said no. And she knows she pissed me off lol. I don't know what I should do at that point.
If I remember, I did my local mall approach.
Wednesday, March 26th
I chilled with Sarah, Jacques and etc. It was a great day.
Met with Sarah for a bit. It was fun.
After a while, I was with Jacques. He's such a badass. Chilling with him feels like cold approaching when we talk to women. He takes the hand of girls he's just met and they are all loving it. He's super cool.
I was sitting at Chanelle's table where Anastasia (some hotass 8.5-9) was sitting too. Fun times. Chanelle told me how she had a crush on me (I don't know whether she was kidding or not at that point). We did flirt a bit. She wanted to touch my camera, so I went : Ohhh yeah you like it huh? That little **** right here mhmhmhmh...
And the two hotties started laughing like crazy. We took some selfies too. Jacques got Anastasia's number.
We chilled in the caf, people were nice and cool. I felt so good. I felt so crazy. I took pictures of random people I just met too.
Basically awesome day. I felt entitled to anything.
Local mall,
Sat next to a random 6.5 and asked her if she believed in Jesus. She loved it hahahaha. I then left because I had to run for my bus.
A meaningful moment through a meaningless process.
3:21 PM
Maybe I'm just different. I don't know.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBhRJVrN9Cs
I feel a little lost.
I don't know how to explain. Like...
I just wish I could be happier overall.
Where does my happiness comes from? I have a date planned for today. The girl was hot according to Porno, like an 8 or 8.5 or so. She's 7.5 to me.
But it feels like as if I'm having a hard time being grateful for what I already have.
Love.
I can't even recognize the love around me. It seems like every person I meet is just a passing phase, that at some point in my life they won't be there anymore.
College ends in 5 weeks. After 5 weeks, most of the people I won't ever see ever again.
Life goes by so fast. You can't freeze time, you can't freeze the present moment. It always passes.
It's kind of depressing.
And this is why I commit myself to enjoying every second of my life. Because the present moment, you can never freeze it. You could give yourself the illusion that a pleasant moment you share with a wonderful person, a wonderful girl perhaps, feels like forever.
But at some point in time, it'll be gone forever.
And everything else will be silent.
3:44 PM
Girl texts back that she's far from town and that she can't come. I tell her next week, she agrees.
5:53 PM
Being fully honest here. I let myself cry for a bit just to let it out. And it made me realize something.
I realized that I have to express my love more often, for everyone I love. Not only girls, but every single person I'm grateful I met. Every single guy or girl who made my day more full of life, or every single guy or girl who was simply alive, here, with me. It doesn't matter whether that person was mad, furious at me. Whether that person was having a bad day and being negative. It doesn't matter. I have to express my love and empathy for others.
And I wished I did it more often.
And I really wished I did.
What you give, you shall receive back.
Is it emasculating? No. It's empowering to be true and sincere to your emotions. It's empowering to offer value to the world. If empowering to love for the sake of loving. And nothing else in this world is better.
Nothing else. I don't care about presence, about my goals, about my values, about getting laid, about approaching, about meeting the most girls as possible, about burning the boats, about pick up, about self-development, about friends, about my parents, about my family, about my grades, about whether I'll succeed in the business of filmmaking or not, about whether I'll become rich or not, about the sh1t from the world, about life.
I just want to give love. And I shall receive it back. If there could be one thing I could do for the rest of my life, is love. Making love, giving love, sharing love. From my very strong masculine essence that wants to conquer and achieve things in life comes my feminine essence to give love. And everyone should embrace both polarities.
The stronger the emotion, the stronger the lesson.
I have to make every moment meaningful. Every person I meet, it has meaning. Is it a meaningful process? To learn the game? Because I'm going to die one day, it has no meaning in the future. But it does have meaning right Now, which is what matters. Make every interaction a meaningful moment, even though through a meaningless process.
Saturday, March 22nd
Cool party.
Too bad I got SUPER DUPER drunk and had a crash around midnight. Literally couldn't move without puking. Idk why I fear puking so much.
Apparently, I did some pretty funny sh1t. Can't remember. In terms of girls, I talked to a few. The ratio was horrible, but couldn't do much about it.
Apparently some girl asked me to raise myself from the couch. I told her I would if she kissed me. She put her fingers on my lips pretending like so, and then before she could leave I tried to physically tell her to stay by touching her and sh1t LOL. Apparently it was funny to see me in action.
I walked to the sink, the mother gave me some water. I was too fcked up to recognize it was the mother, so I said : It's very nice of you for giving me water, but this water is as warm as some woman's pvssy!!...
And everyone cracked up crazy hahahaha.
And the night was pretty much it. I was too fcked up.
Conclusion? Stop drinking so much, it's bad.
Sunday, March 23rd
Hangover + tired extreme.
It was me and Porno at the mall this time. We did a few random approaches that didn't go anywhere really. Funny stuff. We were too tired to do anything, and I was feeling pretty dizzy too...
Monday, March 24th
No school. I filmed my project all day.
Tuesday, March 25th
English class. I arrive late, the teacher is super mad at me for some lame mistake I did correcting someone else's paper. I'm totally disgusted by her angry face, but I'm trying to keep calm.
In photography class, Melissa is giving me the flirty eyes again. For real. We just look at each other deep in the eye for 10 seconds for no reason, we don't say a word. She knows I want her, and she knows she said no. And she knows she pissed me off lol. I don't know what I should do at that point.
If I remember, I did my local mall approach.
Wednesday, March 26th
I chilled with Sarah, Jacques and etc. It was a great day.
Met with Sarah for a bit. It was fun.
After a while, I was with Jacques. He's such a badass. Chilling with him feels like cold approaching when we talk to women. He takes the hand of girls he's just met and they are all loving it. He's super cool.
I was sitting at Chanelle's table where Anastasia (some hotass 8.5-9) was sitting too. Fun times. Chanelle told me how she had a crush on me (I don't know whether she was kidding or not at that point). We did flirt a bit. She wanted to touch my camera, so I went : Ohhh yeah you like it huh? That little **** right here mhmhmhmh...
And the two hotties started laughing like crazy. We took some selfies too. Jacques got Anastasia's number.
We chilled in the caf, people were nice and cool. I felt so good. I felt so crazy. I took pictures of random people I just met too.
Basically awesome day. I felt entitled to anything.
Local mall,
Sat next to a random 6.5 and asked her if she believed in Jesus. She loved it hahahaha. I then left because I had to run for my bus.
Thursday, March 27th
Awesome.
Not much during the day. I'm working on assignment and going to class.
Local mall approach,
Sat next to her on the big couch. It took me 5-10 minutes before snapping myself out of it. And I asked her if she wanted to be my friend for the next 5 minutes. Awesome. We had a chill convo. She didn't give me her number, whatever.
NIGHTGAME!
My goal for the night was : DO NOT GET ANGRY! Hahahahaha....
I knew that Foufs was a pretty hardcore place with lots of b1tches. Surprisingly, girls were much nicer that night.
We arrived there, me and Porno, and there was Sols and Anthony too. Anthony with his hot female friends. The hot ones are all takent, whatever. Amazing people, very fun.
At the beginning, we went in the middle of the dance floor and shuffled like crazy. People loved it, random girls cheered us on. Girls were really nice at the beginning of the night. I don't know why I had this idea that they would be not nice.
We kept approaching. I approached at least 40-50 girls the whole night. I kept going on and on and on. Non-stop. It's becoming a habit now.
Some girls got b1tchy and mad. One girl VIOLENTLY pushed me away. I was just being nice and everything, not being mean at all. She was going APE SH1T on me. Pushing me both hands and all. My goal to stay calm? I did. I didn't attack at all. I didn't push her back or anything. I could feel the anger wanting to explode onto her and fight back. Probably the most brutal girl in a while. Every guy wanted to help the hot girl, protecting her. I didn't do anything back, and I let her do her thing. I walked away, not looking at her.
I realized one VERY important thing : Trying to fix people who are imposing their negativity onto you and are stuck into lower consciousness, trying to fix them is the biggest investment in energy one could make. It takes a lot just to overcome your impulse to fight back, and even more trying to fix them. Why not focus that energy on making MYSELF positive and keeping my calm? The rest doesn't matter. She can keep doing her thing. People don't change, only great people change. Like me and you. Like Porno, Sols, Dominic, Jacques and all my great wings.
And I kept approaching. I was zen afterwards. I was dancing with some cute 6.5-7 for 15-20 minutes or so. She didn't have a cellphone because she's from France, so I just said whatever and got her facebook. Meh, she ain't cute.
I think I grinded 2-3 chicks that night. No make-outs.
I went to the bar, some girl smiled at me as she approached the counter. I talk to her, blablabla. We start dancing near the bar, salsa and all. Grind for a few seconds. I try and isolate, but her friend is trying to stop us haha. I move her near the stairs where he can't see us. I get very close, almost making out, and the security tells us to move. We move upstairs and the friend gets mad.
She's the one asking for my number. I tell her I'd kiss her if her friend wasn't there she goes : Yeah me too!!
And I got her number, did the kiss on the cheek and left.
Later, I go near the other counter. I see some very hot girl with piercings and tattoos. The type I'd be intimidated to approach. We talked for a bit. She was very friendly, I was flirting a bit. Midway through, she tells me that she has a boyfriend. I just look at her dead in the eye with the WTF look. Damn HB9... and then I pretended to walk away. She goes : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COME BACK! WE CAN BE FRIENDS!!!!
Hahaha. At some point I fake to walk away again and she yells again. Funny stuff. I showed her some awesome song I knew. Djent stuff. She was into Deathcore and Hardcore.
She asks for my facebook. We add each other, awesome. She probably has hot friends anyway. Cool stuff.
I used a LOT of the Pimp by Julien. It was one of my best nights in terms of taking action and trying new stuff, and feeling entitled. In a long time.
Friday, March 28th
Went to the local mall after I was done working on my photographs in the lab.
Approached her. This one was my best in a while. I sat next to a cutie, HB8, talked for a few minutes. My first line was Do you believe in Jesus, where I then transitioned to telling her she was cute. The lady and the girl next to me were smiling, awesome. I made 3 people's day.
Too bad she has a boyfriend. It was fun though. Even though she was looking at her phone a lot, she seemed to be enjoying the convo. She was probably just shy and all. Whatever.
Went to Pioneer with Porno, Sarah, her friend Erica, the mexican Erika and her mexican friends.
Fun times. I actually managed to cold approach a few hotties from my school.
Holy fvck. Thinking about this one makes me cringe.
There was this hottie, HB8.5 at least, her name is Gabrielle. She was the one to talk to me first apparently. She approached me at my locker 2 years ago apparently. Lol.
So she's giving me the flirty eyes and all. I'm flirting with her.
At some point at the dancefloor, she looks at me as she's grinding some other guy with a smile.
She bumps into me again 2 minutes later : Hey Mindgamez, find yourself a girl!
And she tries to pass and I just keep blocking her. I accuse her of pushing me, and she apologizes. LOL.
Damnit. She would have been down for me. After she was done grinding that guy, she walked away and the guy was trying to keep her, but he was too needy. So she walked off. I was about to reapproach her, but I pvssied out. That's what makes me cringe.
The success barrier. A HOTASS ch1ck is into you for what seems to be no particular reason, and you mess it up somehow. ARGH!!!
Anyway. Cool night overall. Sarah seems into me, that's for sure. I still don't know if I wanna go for her or not. She's cute, yeah, not the hottest though. She let me squeeze her buttcheeks, she liked it quite a bit.
Saturday, March 29th
As I'm finishing to write in my journal, I invite you to listen to this song. It talks about the unconscious mind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78LJyOUMrD8
It seems the lower that I go,
The better I begin to feel.
I don’t want this life,
If nothing I feel is real.
Don’t act so concerned.
I tried my ****ing best.
But letting go was never an option.
I’ve got this hole stuck in my chest.
Chanelle messaged me on facebook earlier, telling me how talented of a guy I was. I told her girls love my fingers (I'm a pianist), and she went LMAO yes we do (;
CONCLUSION
- Mass approaching becomes a habit.
- Love is a strong emotion. It overpowers anything else in this world.
- Entitlement is attained through MASSIVE, MASSIVE action. Nothing else. Actually, nothing is ever achieved without massive action.
- Success barriers? At one point I'll be so frustrated with them that I'll just act upon it and succeed hahahaha.
- Make every interaction meaningful. Make every person you meet happy, give them love.
Awesome.
Not much during the day. I'm working on assignment and going to class.
Local mall approach,
Sat next to her on the big couch. It took me 5-10 minutes before snapping myself out of it. And I asked her if she wanted to be my friend for the next 5 minutes. Awesome. We had a chill convo. She didn't give me her number, whatever.
NIGHTGAME!
My goal for the night was : DO NOT GET ANGRY! Hahahahaha....
I knew that Foufs was a pretty hardcore place with lots of b1tches. Surprisingly, girls were much nicer that night.
We arrived there, me and Porno, and there was Sols and Anthony too. Anthony with his hot female friends. The hot ones are all takent, whatever. Amazing people, very fun.
At the beginning, we went in the middle of the dance floor and shuffled like crazy. People loved it, random girls cheered us on. Girls were really nice at the beginning of the night. I don't know why I had this idea that they would be not nice.
We kept approaching. I approached at least 40-50 girls the whole night. I kept going on and on and on. Non-stop. It's becoming a habit now.
Some girls got b1tchy and mad. One girl VIOLENTLY pushed me away. I was just being nice and everything, not being mean at all. She was going APE SH1T on me. Pushing me both hands and all. My goal to stay calm? I did. I didn't attack at all. I didn't push her back or anything. I could feel the anger wanting to explode onto her and fight back. Probably the most brutal girl in a while. Every guy wanted to help the hot girl, protecting her. I didn't do anything back, and I let her do her thing. I walked away, not looking at her.
I realized one VERY important thing : Trying to fix people who are imposing their negativity onto you and are stuck into lower consciousness, trying to fix them is the biggest investment in energy one could make. It takes a lot just to overcome your impulse to fight back, and even more trying to fix them. Why not focus that energy on making MYSELF positive and keeping my calm? The rest doesn't matter. She can keep doing her thing. People don't change, only great people change. Like me and you. Like Porno, Sols, Dominic, Jacques and all my great wings.
And I kept approaching. I was zen afterwards. I was dancing with some cute 6.5-7 for 15-20 minutes or so. She didn't have a cellphone because she's from France, so I just said whatever and got her facebook. Meh, she ain't cute.
I think I grinded 2-3 chicks that night. No make-outs.
I went to the bar, some girl smiled at me as she approached the counter. I talk to her, blablabla. We start dancing near the bar, salsa and all. Grind for a few seconds. I try and isolate, but her friend is trying to stop us haha. I move her near the stairs where he can't see us. I get very close, almost making out, and the security tells us to move. We move upstairs and the friend gets mad.
She's the one asking for my number. I tell her I'd kiss her if her friend wasn't there she goes : Yeah me too!!
And I got her number, did the kiss on the cheek and left.
Later, I go near the other counter. I see some very hot girl with piercings and tattoos. The type I'd be intimidated to approach. We talked for a bit. She was very friendly, I was flirting a bit. Midway through, she tells me that she has a boyfriend. I just look at her dead in the eye with the WTF look. Damn HB9... and then I pretended to walk away. She goes : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COME BACK! WE CAN BE FRIENDS!!!!
Hahaha. At some point I fake to walk away again and she yells again. Funny stuff. I showed her some awesome song I knew. Djent stuff. She was into Deathcore and Hardcore.
She asks for my facebook. We add each other, awesome. She probably has hot friends anyway. Cool stuff.
I used a LOT of the Pimp by Julien. It was one of my best nights in terms of taking action and trying new stuff, and feeling entitled. In a long time.
Friday, March 28th
Went to the local mall after I was done working on my photographs in the lab.
Approached her. This one was my best in a while. I sat next to a cutie, HB8, talked for a few minutes. My first line was Do you believe in Jesus, where I then transitioned to telling her she was cute. The lady and the girl next to me were smiling, awesome. I made 3 people's day.
Too bad she has a boyfriend. It was fun though. Even though she was looking at her phone a lot, she seemed to be enjoying the convo. She was probably just shy and all. Whatever.
Went to Pioneer with Porno, Sarah, her friend Erica, the mexican Erika and her mexican friends.
Fun times. I actually managed to cold approach a few hotties from my school.
Holy fvck. Thinking about this one makes me cringe.
There was this hottie, HB8.5 at least, her name is Gabrielle. She was the one to talk to me first apparently. She approached me at my locker 2 years ago apparently. Lol.
So she's giving me the flirty eyes and all. I'm flirting with her.
At some point at the dancefloor, she looks at me as she's grinding some other guy with a smile.
She bumps into me again 2 minutes later : Hey Mindgamez, find yourself a girl!
And she tries to pass and I just keep blocking her. I accuse her of pushing me, and she apologizes. LOL.
Damnit. She would have been down for me. After she was done grinding that guy, she walked away and the guy was trying to keep her, but he was too needy. So she walked off. I was about to reapproach her, but I pvssied out. That's what makes me cringe.
The success barrier. A HOTASS ch1ck is into you for what seems to be no particular reason, and you mess it up somehow. ARGH!!!
Anyway. Cool night overall. Sarah seems into me, that's for sure. I still don't know if I wanna go for her or not. She's cute, yeah, not the hottest though. She let me squeeze her buttcheeks, she liked it quite a bit.
Saturday, March 29th
As I'm finishing to write in my journal, I invite you to listen to this song. It talks about the unconscious mind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78LJyOUMrD8
It seems the lower that I go,
The better I begin to feel.
I don’t want this life,
If nothing I feel is real.
Don’t act so concerned.
I tried my ****ing best.
But letting go was never an option.
I’ve got this hole stuck in my chest.
Chanelle messaged me on facebook earlier, telling me how talented of a guy I was. I told her girls love my fingers (I'm a pianist), and she went LMAO yes we do (;
CONCLUSION
- Mass approaching becomes a habit.
- Love is a strong emotion. It overpowers anything else in this world.
- Entitlement is attained through MASSIVE, MASSIVE action. Nothing else. Actually, nothing is ever achieved without massive action.
- Success barriers? At one point I'll be so frustrated with them that I'll just act upon it and succeed hahahaha.
- Make every interaction meaningful. Make every person you meet happy, give them love.