Joint Bank Accounts

[Kailex]

Has anyone ever had any experiences (good or bad) with these? Has anyone here ever found a valid reason to do so?

I work with clients and their different accounts and lately I feel an onslaught of "Is my money safe from her/him?"

I've seen a few cases in which clients will have PARTIAL direct deposits into a joint account in order to pay bills. Basically, they have a certain % from their check that's siphoned into an account that pretty much has its balance reduced to almost 0 every month in order to cover costs like mortgage, bills, etc...

But has anyone ever done their full check into JUST a joint account?

It seems that lately, in this economy with the increasing money troubles within marriages, divorces are increasing as well. I had a client who came in ready to cry because his wife left him and the account was a joint "OR" account which means she could have wiped him out if she really wanted to. In the last year or so, I am seeing more and more of this happening.

I've yet to see a reason to open one other than the example of having one for the paying of bills.

Opinions?

 

[Desdinova]

I was always against the idea, even when I was married. I remember my parents bytching constantly about how the other was taking money out for gambling / clothes / cigarettes / etc. IMO, it causes more problems instead of creating solutions.

Also, I would NEVER trust a woman with access to my bank account.

 

[Trader]

The theme is the same: you are a man, thus you retain your individuality such as taste for clothing, even when you have a gf or are married.

Your individuality extends to finances, you have your own bank account.

 

[Warrior74]

My mother and father have been married for 40 years. They have separate accounts and a two joint accounts for bills and savings. Seems to work for them.

 

[squirrels]

Many married couples I know have joint accounts. In many cases, the man just gives the woman his paycheck, then she manages payment of the bills.

I know most people here would scoff at trusting a woman like this, but the truth is that most people here have never met a woman deserving of this kind of trust, or fostered the kind of relationship that leads to this kind of trust.

In my opinion...if you CANNOT trust your woman to handle a joint account responsibly, you should not be married to her. The problem isn't with giving access to an account to your wife, it's making her your wife in the FIRST place without being able to trust her with your finances.

The men who I'm talking about...they WEAR THE PANTS in their households. Their wives would never abuse the trust associated with that joint account, because 1) they recognize it as funding "us" instead of "me" or "him", and 2) they respect their men enough to not screw them over by misusing joint funds.

This is the "old school", where a family was a family, not two individuals who happened to be living in the same house. That's why all this "shacking up" nonsense is leading to the destruction of the male-female relationship. People take a f**k-buddy and turn her into a roommate, then try to treat her like a wife...and wonder why they can't trust them like dad trusted mom. F**k this co-dependent desperation culture we live in today.

Kailex, if your client has to ask the question of whether he should trust his woman with a joint account, then the answer is "no". Just him asking the question shows that he doesn't trust her.

And honestly, even men who trust their women with their finances always take some "off the top" for a "slush fund", to fund private endeavors.

 

[Kailex]

Just to clarify, he was actually closing the account to open one in his name. He was just worried because she left him and COULD have taken his money. He seemed SURPRISED that she hadn't taken a dime.

THAT alone had me all shocked.

He let TWO weeks go by without doing anything about the situation. TWO weeks in which she could have wiped out the accounts.

Squirrels, I know what you're saying though.
I HAVE met a lot of relationships where the woman is the bill-payer so the guy just HANDS over the check and it works. My problem with this though is that come a divorce, having a joint account does NOT stop anyone from making withdrawals from the account. It's authorized.

The thing I advise is usually to BUILD an account together from scratch. I've seen too many cases where the man puts in 40K and she puts in 10K and then they work up the funds. Impending divorce, wife comes in, makes out a treasurer's check and he's left with nothing. Man comes back to the bank wondering where HIS part of the funds are and doesn't understand why the bank isn't responsible and why she can't be liable for this money.

It's somewhat heart-breaking to see.

I would NEVER open a joint account with someone where I bring in my PREVIOUS money into it. I would open one from scratch and use it strictly as a bill-paying mechanism, but that's about it. I don't want anything I buy to be scrutinized... every little detail.

Which brings me to a short story of someone I know:

She has a joint account with her husband. A debit was going through for about 27 dollars and they only had like 3 dollars after that was going through. She was going off about how her husband always used money without her permission and how he was SO bad with finances and that she should have known better. Upon further investigation, we saw that it was a purchase at a woman's clothing store. Yep, it had been her. Her response: Oh, well, I thought it had to be him because he's always doing stuff like that to buy stupid crap.

Her purchase?

Scrunchies.

27 dollars worth.

 

[DJDamage]

In my opinion...if you CANNOT trust your woman to handle a joint account responsibly, you should not be married to her. The problem isn't with giving access to an account to your wife, it's making her your wife in the FIRST place without being able to trust her with your finances.

I have to disagree on that one, although part of the deal of marrying a woman is based on trust, there is always the notion that the possibility exist down the line that things could change and the marriage could fall apart which is why certain people sign a prenup as an insurance policy.

It is true that today's woman is not like yesterday's and as a result they often spend more money and live on credit cards which results in a strain of their marriage.

 

[mrRuckus]

Who "pays bills?" All mine are just deducted automatically from whatever small savings account. This isn't 1984, and you're mailing checks. My checking account does about nothing but let me get cash from an ATM.

 

[catman]

I used to think exactly like you......What happened over time that made me change my view was the realization that people change over time. The woman you marry is often not the same woman 10 years or more later. This is right on the money !!! I had a joint account when i first got married.She then wrote some bad cheaks i got mad and took my name off. I wouldnt ever even consider letting a woman run my finances again period.

 

[LeftyLoosey]

I actually had a huge fight with my ex-wife over this. I couldn't think of any reason to have a joint account. She gave me the old "that's what married people do," and if you don't do it, you don't love me." Hard to believe I succame to the guilt trip. Fortunately there were no money issues in our marriage, but I could see it going down that road.

 

[sodbuster]

We had yours, mine and our checking accounts. She managed to take the 150.00 out of the joint when she left.

 

[SexyMofo]

Insane.

He who controls the purse strings, has the power.

In true patriarchies, the man had total control over the money. He didn't hand his paycheck to his wife.

 

[jophil28]

Insane.

He who controls the purse strings, has the power.

In true patriarchies, the man had total control over the money. He didn't hand his paycheck to his wife.

This is the wisdom ^^.

I have NEVER known one marriage that did not slide into a master/ slave relationship when the women was allowed to control the distribution of HIS money.

To hand over your paycheck and allow her to disburse it is the beginning of your 'employment' . It is weak, and it is the most effeminate demonstation of your underlying utter absence of self regard .

Women who act as bookkeepers with your permission will soon become women who act like tyrants, to your horror and regret..

 

[jwright]

Join Bank Accounts are that banking accounts in which more than one person participates. joint account banking is to simplify matters, budget for long horizon purchases. Of course, joint account banking isn't for every couple but it has a problem, like if one partner earns substantially more than the other then problem arises substantially regarding the money and budget, so it is better to have a separate account in the bank.

 

[zekko]

The men who I'm talking about...they WEAR THE PANTS in their households.

Just to provide some balance:
I know guys who turn their paychecks over to their wives and the wives are definitely wearing the pants.
Personally, I have always run the finances in my house. Guys are generally better with math anyway.

That's why all this "shacking up" nonsense is leading to the destruction of the male-female relationship. People take a f**k-buddy and turn her into a roommate, then try to treat her like a wife...

Since I "shack up" I thought I should address this.
I agree that it would be preferable if marriage was a more secure and respected instituition, and that families stayed together like they used to, etc.
But I have been through a divorce and I am not ready at this point in my life to give a woman half of my stuff if we break up. My girlfriend (who is not a "fvck buddy") realizes this so if she wants to be with me she knows this is the way it has to be.

In my case, I would say it's not a case of "shacking up" destroying the male-female relationship, I'd say the decision to shack up was a result of the male-female relationship being destroyed. We are both quite happy with our situation, although I know my girl would prefer to be married to me.

 

[Kailex]

Just wanted to add a small tidbit on this.
At work today, it was brought to my attention that someone was causing a ruckus with one of my co-workers. The people were brought into me because I apparently have "more patience". Bullsh*t. More like: Some people don't want to deal with problems.

Anyway, a couple is brought to me and they want to know why they can't have an account with the bank I work for.

Apparently this VERY young couple sits down. I look up their financial profiles. So far, the guy is clean, good credit history and I found absolutely no problems with him. So, I let them know and proceed to look up her financial profile.

She's 20, he's 27. They are recently engaged and trying to open their first joint account together.

Lo and behold, she appears on our record for a delinquent bank record, and one of the banks is OURS. Now, I tell them BOTH that I cannot do anything with HER, but he can open an account by himself and if she clears her debt with us, she could be added.

Of course, she looked VERY surprised at the fact that she owed anyone any money, and I kid you not, she says this:

"What? I owe money? This can't be. I thought I had closed this account, that must have been my mom doing stuff with my account."

Needless to say, her last 4 purchases included Victoria's Secret, a gym payment and two Taco Bell visits.
Mother? I doubt it.

So she blatantly lied to him about what was going on with her own past accounts, and then shifted the blame to her mother. I bit my tongue, but I wanted to warn him about what to expect in the future if this was the norm for her past.

He dodged a bullet, for NOW, but I really hope for his sake that he thinks twice about this "engagement".

He did NOT seem happy at all about finding out ANOTHER thing about her. Something previous must have come to his attention too, because his exact words were: "How in the world do you keep doing this?"

 

[5string]

OK, listen up. This one comes from experience. When I was going through my divorce, I got into the financials of my ex to be. We had both always worked. I found out through the discovery process that she had an auto withdrawl from her paycheck that went into a secret account. The address on the account was her employer so the statements never came to the house. It had about 15K in it. Sleep with one eye open brothers........

 

[jophil28]

He did NOT seem happy at all about finding out ANOTHER thing about her. Something previous must have come to his attention too, because his exact words were: "How in the world do you keep doing this?"

OH, no problem there at all for her . She will embellish her lie about that debt even further on their way home and if that does not placate him, she will fukk him hard until she believes that he is back under her spell....pvssy power at work.
IF he is strong enough amd continues to protest about her bad credit and her childish spending habits, she will resort to some serious crying, accuse him of only caring about money, and not "loving me enough"..
The beat goes on, fellas.

 

[Scaramouche]

No Kailex,
Don't do it....I have had two marriages,in both I completely supported the Lady...the first was a joint account,came problems,first thing she did was clean out the account,had about $3,000 at todays value,why?..."the Soliciter told me to"....Of course if there is any chance of reconciliation,as you see her having escalated the conflict,then it makes it darn near impossible...Second marriage,I kept my own account then five or so years into the relationship,she became a joint signatory....Sheer laziness on my part,I had plenty of Mazooma in those days,never even looked at the statements....When we had our Property Settlement,after a 23 year relationship,she had $186,000 in various investments...This Lady,didn't need a Soliciter to tell her,she had been milking me for years....Another Maxim:never marry a beautiful Girl 13 years your Junior...But Kailex,if the issue comes up just say "I Prefer not Darling,I am in business and there is always the chance that someone could have a legal claim against me,and freeze the account,that would make it hard on you"

 

[Trader]

Just wanted to add a small tidbit on this.
At work today, it was brought to my attention that someone was causing a ruckus with one of my co-workers. The people were brought into me because I apparently have "more patience". Bullsh*t. More like: Some people don't want to deal with problems.

Anyway, a couple is brought to me and they want to know why they can't have an account with the bank I work for.

Apparently this VERY young couple sits down. I look up their financial profiles. So far, the guy is clean, good credit history and I found absolutely no problems with him. So, I let them know and proceed to look up her financial profile.

She's 20, he's 27. They are recently engaged and trying to open their first joint account together.

Lo and behold, she appears on our record for a delinquent bank record, and one of the banks is OURS. Now, I tell them BOTH that I cannot do anything with HER, but he can open an account by himself and if she clears her debt with us, she could be added.

Of course, she looked VERY surprised at the fact that she owed anyone any money, and I kid you not, she says this:

"What? I owe money? This can't be. I thought I had closed this account, that must have been my mom doing stuff with my account."

Needless to say, her last 4 purchases included Victoria's Secret, a gym payment and two Taco Bell visits.
Mother? I doubt it.

So she blatantly lied to him about what was going on with her own past accounts, and then shifted the blame to her mother. I bit my tongue, but I wanted to warn him about what to expect in the future if this was the norm for her past.

He dodged a bullet, for NOW, but I really hope for his sake that he thinks twice about this "engagement".

He did NOT seem happy at all about finding out ANOTHER thing about her. Something previous must have come to his attention too, because his exact words were: "How in the world do you keep doing this?"

Interesting story, let this serve as a cautionary tale - repped