JohnnyIrish
Master Don Juan
Manifesto:
Ya see, I've met/dated/fclosed plenty of women (relatively speaking) online but I could count on one hand the amount of women I've cold approached in my life.. Even though I'm a fairly confident person I recognize its been a fear I've recoiled from and rationalized about for quite some time.
I've finally gotten fed up and I aim to destroy or shrink that fear as much as possible.. I don't want to be controlled/limited by fear.. or to live a life of regrets!
My goals (likely in the order listed):
1) overcome my approach anxiety/fear
2) refine my game/approach and become skilled (continual goal)
3) get some 'plates' + non internet F'closeure
Direct fits better with my personal philosophy so I'll be using for my opener don the legend's:
Me: Hi what's your name?
Her: X
Me: Hi X, I couldn't help notice you at/doing (wherever you noticed her) and I wanted to meet you.
With that said, here is my experience today:
I dressed nicely and went to a local mall, walked around looking for a target. I walked all over and saw either real young girls (I draw the limit at anything younger then 20 year old.. as I'm 30), ones that were with their significant other/family, or ones I wasn't attracted to. I eventually saw two but I hesitated.. and balked. I saw no others.. so I was leaving but pist that I didn't approach. Well I wouldn't allow myself to go home since I didn't at least approach one..
I then drove to a different mall (only 20 min away) and walked around. I walked past some store and saw an attractive blond by herself.. I stopped after I walked past the store and I headed back in and approached her..
Approach#1
Her: Hi can I help you?
Me: Hi, whats your name?
Her: My name is X
Me: Hi X, my name is Y. I couldn't help notice you as I walked by and I wanted to meet you.
Her: Oh wow.. I don't know what to say..
Me: So do you live around here?
Her: Oh well.. I have a boyfriend. *she gets nervous and knocks some things over in the store*
Me: Ah well thanks for your time
*I leave*
Analysis:
1) I know I need to talk slowly and keep eye contact. Thats elementary but did not happen. As I see it.. I just need to relax (get over this approach anxiety) in said situation and it'll happen.
2) I didn't mean to give her my name.. I just temporarily lost my train of through and thats what came out.
I then did a bit more walking and saw this attractive foreign girl at a keosk. I went over to talk to her and she immediately when into a sales speech (rubbing some lotion or some crap on my hand). I let it go for a little bit.. but as she was telling me prices I said:
Me: If I wasn't interested in buying anything would you still be interested in talking to me?
Her: *hemed and hawed* well I have business to do.. blah blah blah
Me: Ok well then we've taken enough of each others time, have a nice day.
*I left*
Analysis:
I don't count this an aproach as she came up to me pretty much as she was trying to sell stuff however I still think it benificial to analize.
1) What I said "If I wasn't interested in buying anything.. " in my mind was just weak.. I could have done better.
2) I'm thinking I should have just stopped her when she entered into her sales speech and started my opener to get better results.
Approach#2
I then kept walking and passed by a sunglass hut with a cute girl reading a book as the business was non existant in there. I entered:
Me: Is the book good?
Her: *smile* Its for school, can I help you?
Me: Yeah whats your name?
Her: X
Me: Well X I noticed you as I walked by and I wanted to meet you.
Her: *she smiled* Oh whats your name?
Me: My name's Y *reached out my hand to shake hers*
Me: So do you live around here?
Her: Yeah I live about 20 min away.
me: So what are you studying in school?
Her: Marketing and business
*I get her talking about this a little bit*
Her: So what do you do for fun?
(lol this is where my mind went blank.. so I scrambled and threw out what came to mind.)
Me: I hang with friends, hang out in philly, summer is almost here too.. so I'll probably play some tennis.
(thinking: ROFL TENNIS?!?.. how exciting!
)
*awkward pause*
Me: Well I gota get going, let me get your number and well hang out sometime.
Her: *hems and haws* Well.. I dunno. I have a boyfriend.
Me: Ahh, well it was nice meeting you.
*I left*
Analysis:
1) My eye contact was still big time lacking, I even noticed mid set. I tried fixing it but my anxiety/nervous instinct kept them away from her eyes. Fuzking irrational fear..
2) I botched her question.. which is retarded because I do tons of crap for fun. I hit the gym, cook, play guitar, party, dance, have my own side business thats fun.. (in addition to the usual hangin w/friends and fam)
3) However In hind sight I think I shouldn't have tried to answer her question logically. I think I should have said something like.. "oh you know the usual, I wrestle bears & jump out of planes" or maybe even better "I like to talk to pretty women"
4) In retrospect since she A) let me chat her up.. and then B) hesitated mentioning she had a boyfriend at the end, I think if I played things different.. I think I could have gotten that ones number.
At that point the mall was closing so I took a list minute look and saw a cute chick but she had a spike through her lip.. not very attractive so I didn't approach her. In retrospect since I need practice and I'm just saying "I wanted to meet you" I shouldn't be so picky.. so I get more practice. In any event I then left and came home.
Thus concludes my first day of cold approaching.. I didn't do as well as I know I can due to anxiety but I also didn't back down and DID approach which is steps in the right direction. So yeah.. baby steps.. baby steps I'll get there though.
Ya see, I've met/dated/fclosed plenty of women (relatively speaking) online but I could count on one hand the amount of women I've cold approached in my life.. Even though I'm a fairly confident person I recognize its been a fear I've recoiled from and rationalized about for quite some time.
I've finally gotten fed up and I aim to destroy or shrink that fear as much as possible.. I don't want to be controlled/limited by fear.. or to live a life of regrets!
My goals (likely in the order listed):
1) overcome my approach anxiety/fear
2) refine my game/approach and become skilled (continual goal)
3) get some 'plates' + non internet F'closeure
Direct fits better with my personal philosophy so I'll be using for my opener don the legend's:
Me: Hi what's your name?
Her: X
Me: Hi X, I couldn't help notice you at/doing (wherever you noticed her) and I wanted to meet you.
With that said, here is my experience today:
I dressed nicely and went to a local mall, walked around looking for a target. I walked all over and saw either real young girls (I draw the limit at anything younger then 20 year old.. as I'm 30), ones that were with their significant other/family, or ones I wasn't attracted to. I eventually saw two but I hesitated.. and balked. I saw no others.. so I was leaving but pist that I didn't approach. Well I wouldn't allow myself to go home since I didn't at least approach one..
I then drove to a different mall (only 20 min away) and walked around. I walked past some store and saw an attractive blond by herself.. I stopped after I walked past the store and I headed back in and approached her..
Approach#1
Her: Hi can I help you?
Me: Hi, whats your name?
Her: My name is X
Me: Hi X, my name is Y. I couldn't help notice you as I walked by and I wanted to meet you.
Her: Oh wow.. I don't know what to say..
Me: So do you live around here?
Her: Oh well.. I have a boyfriend. *she gets nervous and knocks some things over in the store*
Me: Ah well thanks for your time
*I leave*
Analysis:
1) I know I need to talk slowly and keep eye contact. Thats elementary but did not happen. As I see it.. I just need to relax (get over this approach anxiety) in said situation and it'll happen.
2) I didn't mean to give her my name.. I just temporarily lost my train of through and thats what came out.
I then did a bit more walking and saw this attractive foreign girl at a keosk. I went over to talk to her and she immediately when into a sales speech (rubbing some lotion or some crap on my hand). I let it go for a little bit.. but as she was telling me prices I said:
Me: If I wasn't interested in buying anything would you still be interested in talking to me?
Her: *hemed and hawed* well I have business to do.. blah blah blah
Me: Ok well then we've taken enough of each others time, have a nice day.
*I left*
Analysis:
I don't count this an aproach as she came up to me pretty much as she was trying to sell stuff however I still think it benificial to analize.
1) What I said "If I wasn't interested in buying anything.. " in my mind was just weak.. I could have done better.
2) I'm thinking I should have just stopped her when she entered into her sales speech and started my opener to get better results.
Approach#2
I then kept walking and passed by a sunglass hut with a cute girl reading a book as the business was non existant in there. I entered:
Me: Is the book good?
Her: *smile* Its for school, can I help you?
Me: Yeah whats your name?
Her: X
Me: Well X I noticed you as I walked by and I wanted to meet you.
Her: *she smiled* Oh whats your name?
Me: My name's Y *reached out my hand to shake hers*
Me: So do you live around here?
Her: Yeah I live about 20 min away.
me: So what are you studying in school?
Her: Marketing and business
*I get her talking about this a little bit*
Her: So what do you do for fun?
(lol this is where my mind went blank.. so I scrambled and threw out what came to mind.)
Me: I hang with friends, hang out in philly, summer is almost here too.. so I'll probably play some tennis.
(thinking: ROFL TENNIS?!?.. how exciting!
)*awkward pause*
Me: Well I gota get going, let me get your number and well hang out sometime.
Her: *hems and haws* Well.. I dunno. I have a boyfriend.
Me: Ahh, well it was nice meeting you.
*I left*
Analysis:
1) My eye contact was still big time lacking, I even noticed mid set. I tried fixing it but my anxiety/nervous instinct kept them away from her eyes. Fuzking irrational fear..
2) I botched her question.. which is retarded because I do tons of crap for fun. I hit the gym, cook, play guitar, party, dance, have my own side business thats fun.. (in addition to the usual hangin w/friends and fam)
3) However In hind sight I think I shouldn't have tried to answer her question logically. I think I should have said something like.. "oh you know the usual, I wrestle bears & jump out of planes" or maybe even better "I like to talk to pretty women"
4) In retrospect since she A) let me chat her up.. and then B) hesitated mentioning she had a boyfriend at the end, I think if I played things different.. I think I could have gotten that ones number.
At that point the mall was closing so I took a list minute look and saw a cute chick but she had a spike through her lip.. not very attractive so I didn't approach her. In retrospect since I need practice and I'm just saying "I wanted to meet you" I shouldn't be so picky.. so I get more practice. In any event I then left and came home.
Thus concludes my first day of cold approaching.. I didn't do as well as I know I can due to anxiety but I also didn't back down and DID approach which is steps in the right direction. So yeah.. baby steps.. baby steps
I'll get there though.