I figured being jealous of friends was a female trait, but I'm not sure what to make of this. My oldest friend, whom I've known since we were 4 or 5 (I'm 39 now) seems to not want to have anything to do with me these days, though I have no idea why. I haven't done anything to him, nor have we had any fight.
Background: we lived in the same building as kids, then I left the state at 12. We always kept in touch. Twenty years ago, he wound up moving with his family near me by coincidence, and we immediately began hanging out again. He seemed genuinely glad about this.
When it's been just us two hanging out, things were fine. When one or more people entered the mix, though, he'd resort to this seemingly "nervous" comedy routine in which he'd continuously make wisecracks about me, passing it off as "friendly jabs." I took it as such early on and played along, cracking on him in return, no big deal. He never did this when we were kids. Friends of mine I'd introduce him to would get annoyed by him after a while. As we got older, so did his routine. I was well over it, but he kept on. In any group situation, he felt a need to "perform" at my expense. One time, he took things a bit too far, with his "friendly" routine crossing into disrespect, and I lost my cool in front of our group. He apologized that time and cut the crap, but he was back at it next time. He kept this up until the very last time I saw him a couple of years ago, when my fiance and I met with him and his girlfriend for dinner. All I wanted to do was hang out and have normal adult conversation, and he was just interested in a pissing contest.
Chalking up his behavior as a response to some kind of insecurity, I still asked him to be best man at my wedding. After all, I had known him over 30 years, longer than any other friend. A year and a half passed, and he was still to be best man; then 3 weeks before the wedding, he tells me he can't do it because he was likely going to be out of state looking for work (at the time of the wedding, he had been out of work for about a year). That was disappointing, but I know long-term unemployment calls for drastic measures sometimes. Fair enough. However, I got no congratulations from him, be it by phone or at least text or email. He knew the wedding date.
Later on, when I found out my wife was pregnant with our daughter, I called to tell him the good news. He responded with a terse "congratulations," then told me he had to go because he was gassing up his car. Since my daughter was born 14 months ago, I've posted a ton of pics of her to my Facebook, which this guy is on...so he's definitely seen pics of her; but never has he written me a single word about her.
Strange thing is that I remember times we've hung out alone and he's given me props, be it for my guitar playing (he once made a little spectacle of himself with his "jab comedy" routine at my expense while at a gig of mine I invited him to, but left before my band even hit the stage)...the fact that I landed a beautiful, smart family-minded conservative woman....my progress in the gym, etc. I've always towered over him in height, and he's quite overweight. He's been in a LTR with a single mom for 7 or so years, told me he doesn't even like her child. We've both got Master's degrees, but he was in his MBA program first and once belittled me a bit with that in front of a friend of mine because at the time I still only had my BA.
I've done nothing but live my life and strive for better, so wtf is going on? This isn't some chick I met a month ago at a club...this is a longtime friend since childhood, and friendship has always meant a lot to me. I've texted this dude a couple of times these last few months, to no acknowledgment. I don't get it.
Background: we lived in the same building as kids, then I left the state at 12. We always kept in touch. Twenty years ago, he wound up moving with his family near me by coincidence, and we immediately began hanging out again. He seemed genuinely glad about this.
When it's been just us two hanging out, things were fine. When one or more people entered the mix, though, he'd resort to this seemingly "nervous" comedy routine in which he'd continuously make wisecracks about me, passing it off as "friendly jabs." I took it as such early on and played along, cracking on him in return, no big deal. He never did this when we were kids. Friends of mine I'd introduce him to would get annoyed by him after a while. As we got older, so did his routine. I was well over it, but he kept on. In any group situation, he felt a need to "perform" at my expense. One time, he took things a bit too far, with his "friendly" routine crossing into disrespect, and I lost my cool in front of our group. He apologized that time and cut the crap, but he was back at it next time. He kept this up until the very last time I saw him a couple of years ago, when my fiance and I met with him and his girlfriend for dinner. All I wanted to do was hang out and have normal adult conversation, and he was just interested in a pissing contest.
Chalking up his behavior as a response to some kind of insecurity, I still asked him to be best man at my wedding. After all, I had known him over 30 years, longer than any other friend. A year and a half passed, and he was still to be best man; then 3 weeks before the wedding, he tells me he can't do it because he was likely going to be out of state looking for work (at the time of the wedding, he had been out of work for about a year). That was disappointing, but I know long-term unemployment calls for drastic measures sometimes. Fair enough. However, I got no congratulations from him, be it by phone or at least text or email. He knew the wedding date.
Later on, when I found out my wife was pregnant with our daughter, I called to tell him the good news. He responded with a terse "congratulations," then told me he had to go because he was gassing up his car. Since my daughter was born 14 months ago, I've posted a ton of pics of her to my Facebook, which this guy is on...so he's definitely seen pics of her; but never has he written me a single word about her.
Strange thing is that I remember times we've hung out alone and he's given me props, be it for my guitar playing (he once made a little spectacle of himself with his "jab comedy" routine at my expense while at a gig of mine I invited him to, but left before my band even hit the stage)...the fact that I landed a beautiful, smart family-minded conservative woman....my progress in the gym, etc. I've always towered over him in height, and he's quite overweight. He's been in a LTR with a single mom for 7 or so years, told me he doesn't even like her child. We've both got Master's degrees, but he was in his MBA program first and once belittled me a bit with that in front of a friend of mine because at the time I still only had my BA.
I've done nothing but live my life and strive for better, so wtf is going on? This isn't some chick I met a month ago at a club...this is a longtime friend since childhood, and friendship has always meant a lot to me. I've texted this dude a couple of times these last few months, to no acknowledgment. I don't get it.
Somehow, she views me as a threat. My buddy is a bit ***** whipped. He's happy, has a nice family, that's all that I care about. 
