Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

[SickAgain]

Always be the man with options. If you don't have options, act like you do. This should solve most of your issues.

 

[DonGorgon]

Always be the man with options. If you don't have options, act like you do. This should solve most of your issues.

Exactly cause all of womens power comes from the fact that they have many many options and never really need you at all...

 

[Reyaj]

Exactly cause all of womens power comes from the fact that they have many many options and never really need you at all...

Yeah but if I do the same and don't need them... then nothing happens.. I get the point though....

 

[collalife]

lol have you done this approach thing. i wANT TO have some fun, let me know if your down.

 

[Poise]

1. never ever ever ever forever buy a girl a drink unless she your best friend or maybe if she gets you in alot of 3 somes
2. Read The Don Juan The bible or print it out. Talk to her. You have to get into her trust zone before you can sleep with her or even date her.
3. Body Language. Lets do what that 1 song dose. Lean back come on, Lean back, Lean Back, 1 more time Lean back. Give that girl some space. Let her breaht !!!!. Relax your shoulders. Always walk with your head up unless you drop something or you though you saw $50.00 dollars laying on the ground. Having your head up is a way to show confidnce. When you sit down try not to play with your hands or fingers alot and spread your legs !!!!!!!!!!!!. When shaking her hand give a nice strong handshake. Not too strong ( COMMON SENSE ).
4. Be a challenge. Have the Attitude
of ( are you good enough for me) NEVER EVER EVER EVER FOREVER have the Attitude of ( I'm good enough for you). A challeging man is wanted by women. First he is hard to get. Second he is wanted by other women and people want what other people want. Three when rejected he makes it seem as if it was her lose and not his. ( this way some girls end up running back to him after rejecting him ).
5. Be ready . Sun tzu said not prepareing for the battle is prepareing for failure. When you go out their always remind yourself of the bad women out their. Act like your on a customer service job. Allways be ready. A nice excuies would be to know how react to nasty rejection lines. Lets say some girl say naw I don't want to dance with a ugly guy like you it makes me look bad. What would you do ?? be ready !!! Another nasty rejection line.
I don't wanna dance with you ( and then some guy grabs her and she dances with him) Hard ?? well then be ready, just laugh it off and go apporach another girl.

1. Reality check: Whether or not you're getting laid that night or getting her number has absolutely little to do with whether you buy her a drink or not. If there's a positive rapport, and she asks you for a drink, saying, "Okay, let's do shots" doesn't mean you're not getting laid. You should be socially smart enough to tell whether someone is using you or not. If you aren't, even if you do get laid you're going to have a rough, rough life.

2. Or go talk to people. Like a normal person.

3. Or you could just look in a mirror. Like a normal person.

4. You probably aren't a challenge, and you probably lack the attitude if your social interaction "rules" comes from an online journal, if you have to think really hard about your body language, and believe that if you buy a chick a drink that "the rule" says you will never get a number. :crackup:

5. Be ready for rejection. The only rule to dating and club interaction is basically the same for marketing. By approaching, you're basically putting yourself out there to get accepted or rejected. It's just the way it goes. Common sense.

But, unlike this person, you can raise your chances by reading the girls signals. If you ever get a line like, "You're ugly, I don't dance with ugly guys", there's a chance she wasn't sending signals in the first place. Approach the high-energy girls, or the ones smiling at you, ones with positive body language.

 

[Reyaj]

Jayer, as you can understand I don't have time to go through your whole thread, but I am curious as to how you're doing.

So how are you mnaging so far? Give us a general run down, like:

How many approaches you've done
What kinds of results you're getting
Your strengths and weaknesses
Mindset
What kind of approaches you're doing (day/night game etc).

So yeah, give us a quick run down mate.

So far I have made 64 approaches and have gotten 39 numbers. A lot of them are flakes from the get go, some I dated and flaked, some I dated hooked up with and then flaked. The bang is in there occasionally although barely and I hope to improve upon this. I'm made a good female friend and another one I actually got into a relationship with which is short lived.

My strengths.... well probably being able to feel if its worth going for the number close based on the convo I am having with the girl and her IL (from my perspective anyway). I also have employed the idea of being fun and lighthearted thanks to Izza's advice and that has been working well. Unfortunately my weakness is that I let the flakes get to me and basically lose my cool and unfortunately take it personally at times.

Most of my approaches have been in the nightlife scene and I am going to try and expand some to day game. The mindset of having fun and not caring what happens is what serves me well when approaching.

I need to get back at it!

 

[izza]

So many mistakes, but still very fixable. You need to read up on some of the informative threads here.

1) Never talk about kissing.
2) Never talk about relationships or marriage.
3) Never confront about flaking.

LOL,

Jayer, this just goes to show that getting women is easy, and it barely matters what you do.

I am going to perfectly contradict what SickAgain said. I'm not saying he doesn't get women. I'm just going to point out some reasons why what you did is great. In fact, in my opinion, the BEST thing you did with this chick was say "It's getting hard for me to go on dates without kissing you."

I was really impressed by that. It's direct, it's honest, it's from the heart. Most chicks I know eat that stuff up. It is so rare that guys speak from the heart in a mature and likeable way. Keep doing that, it will make you a winner. In a lot of ways.

I agree with SickAgain that maybe, ideally, it's better to act than talk. But when we are getting comfortable with our sexuality, it's perfectly normal and healthy to speak your mind to women.

1.) Talking about kissing is a GREAT way to get women in the mood for kissing. It's an easy way to build a sexual tension. I can't even imagine why you wouldn't want to have a conversation like that.

I agree with SickAgain that there are ways to talk about kissing that are not productive. But there are ways that are, and I think this is a good example of one.

2.) Never talk about relationships or marriage. What? I think it's obvious that SA wasn't referring to cases where you are in a relationship or thinking of getting married. Even if you're not in a relationship with a girl, it is just normal and healthy to express what you are looking for (not out of her but in general). "I am looking to get married" (if that's what you want). I am looking for some girl I could be in a relationship with (if that's what you want).

It is great to talk about other women you're seeing at the right time. It's even better to ask her if she's seeing anyone. Trust me, that will save you a lot of work!!!

And finally, there is NOTHING wrong with asking where you and a girl stand or how she feels about you. In fact, this is often the fastest way to pick up women. I tell them I like them, that I think they're sexy for something they do - then I ask them what they like about me, what they find sexy about me. I often explain to women what I like about them and what I'm looking for in a relationship (often it's goofy like being good at giving massages, but sometimes not!). Learn to be honest and open like this and women will respect you for it!

3.) Never confront about flaking??????

I must be confused or have the wrong idea or some exaggerated idea what you mean by this, SickAgain. I think maybe you meant don't get super angry or emotional about it. That makes sense. But I still bring it up. Dude, why would you let her get away with that in silence? If you mistreated a girl like that would you want her to just steam and not bring it up? I think we can agree, you would like the girl to not flip out, but still to ask you what happened and be honest if you inconvenienced her.

"I was convinced you were going to bring me a turkey avocado sandwich. And when you didn't I was like, where's Maggie? I'm so hungry! So I waited for fifteen minutes until my stomach was growling and I couldn't take it anymore. Then I went out and bought an avocado turkey sandwich. It was pretty good, but I thought yours would have mustard. Mine didn't have any mustard. Though that ranch dressing was probably better than yours would have been though. You're probably into those French mustards with the little spicy mustard seeds..."

That's probably corny, but you get the idea. I think sickagain and I can agree that we wouldn't respect any chick who lets us mistreat her without saying anything. I don't think there's any reason not to bring up the subject. In fact, showing that you have self respect but in a calm, direct, and funny way is pretty much your only chance to get the girl back.

Izza

 

[DonGorgon]

Yeah but if I do the same and don't need them... then nothing happens.. I get the point though....

Actually, as soon as they notice that you dont need them they find you irresistible .. but you have to strike a balance between showing interest and indifference...

 

[DonGorgon]

the BEST thing you did with this chick was say "It's getting hard for me to go on dates without kissing you."

I was really impressed by that. It's direct, it's honest, it's from the heart. Most chicks I know eat that stuff up. It is so rare that guys speak from the heart in a mature and likeable way. Keep doing that, it will make you a winner. In a lot of ways.

Izza

Yes ... A little AFC goes a long way but alot of AFC gets you nowhere

 

[Reyaj]

Yes ... A little AFC goes a long way but alot of AFC gets you nowhere

True. I'm going to go through this thread and post my observations and theories.... right now nothing is really going on so its a great time.. I did go out sarging this past weekend but every girl I approached didn't seem receptive so I didn't even bother going for the number. One girl I looked at smiled and asked how are you doing... she nodded her head and looked away immediately. I went right up to her instinctively and said "let me ask u something... am I ugly???" she's like "nooooo" I'm like well why did u give me that rude face. she said "I don't know you..." and she just continued talking to her friends. The whole night was basically like this. Finally I did actually stop a girl who started talking to me and gave me IOI but talking close to me and not rejecting my kino. She then said she was going to get a drink and asked if I wanted to come with her. I told her I'd walk with her. she then asked if i wanted to take shots with her and asked me what I wanted to drink. I told her and when the drinks came out she looked at me to pay. I told her that she invited me and she basically through a hissy fit. I didn't end up paying... but being that this girl was blasted and into me part of me feels like if I did I could have hooked up with her easily.... oh well whatever......


the journey continues....

 

[rushing dude 123]

Well done, learn from every approach u do and u will b a master at this. I remember looking at ur thread and usually when u c a persons thread u c them get the number and usually it ends there, but u explain what happens after and i can relate to the situation u were in with the flakes, but i bet u have experience by far than most men with flakes, i can tell when a girl is going to flake pretty simply, This is good ur biggest weakness is ur biggest strength.

eg. "sure i will go out with u, but just call me before the date" or "i am kinda....busy ill giv u a call back later". i bet u know what that means and what to do in those situations. other guys wud simply ignore it and lose out.

Has long has u learn from ur mistakes u never go home empty handed, she will jus make u better for the more beautiful girl thats just round the corner.

 

[decades]

if you stop jacking your approaches will be 10x more successful. something to consider.

 

[Reyaj]

I will try lol.... Lets see if it helps

 

[collalife]

ay jayer how many approaches you got logged in?

 

[Reyaj]

So I finally had a chance to read over my whole journey to this point. I have come up with facts (at least how I see it), theories, and questions. I will post all that now. I also went night sarging this weekend and went 6 for 8. Although as typical most are most likely flakes. I will post about that as well. Lets get to it

Facts

Timing on approach is key

Some girls look a lot better when you meet them again on a date some look a lot worse.

When a girl hesitates on giving out her number, show you emphatize with her and the situation but also show your interest in getting to know her.

"whats your name, you are very pretty, height comments" are not first line openers

Some girls I meet I will just not be interested in

When approaching a girl on the dance floor be as confident as possible no matter what happens. Girls can smell non-confidence when approaching weak

Some girls just give out their number care free but never even give you a chance after that

When I am dressed and groomed nice I feel more confident.

Trying is better than doing nothing

When the position and timing is appropriate, the 3 second rule is powerfully effective

Car approaches with cheesy lines don't work

Dance Floor approach can work with quick conversation, then # close

If a chick doesn't compliment you back after you complimented her it doesn't mean its a non IOI

Bad luck or external factors going on in a girl's life are out of your control. Unfortunately this can kill your whole chance with her

Leaving voice mails after initial call doesn't seem to work very well

When approaching a girl having a confident fun frame and asking questions has led to # close


Using an observational or situational comment to openn followed by going into questions ie: name F.O.R.M have worked in getting me the #

Phone is always better than text though in this day and age we don't always get that option

Overanalyzing or being too outcome dependent hurts confidence and isn't worth it

Not a lot of eye contact given from the girl isn't necessarily a bad thing

Being direct when asking for the number has worked well. ie: "It would be cool to hang out sometime, what's your number" "It would be cool to talk more, let me get your number, I'll give you a call."

Be confident and have fun

Dates that went bad might not be as bad as you thought and dates you think went well can really just be a flake waiting to happen

When you open a set, you can get a number from a different girl than the one you opened. Just be friendly to everyone

Don't take girls taking long to call back or text as a flake

Friendly words used by the girl such as "buddy or dude" don't necessarily mean friend zone

 

[Reyaj]

Theories

Asking a girl to dance verbally as an opener doesn't usually work

Try to make definite plans. This helps avoid last minute flakes

A follow up text shortly after meeting the girl helps shows her IL by whether or not she responds. Those that do tend to be interested, those that don't are usually flakey from the start

Being nice and friendly to all the targets friends even guys is the best way to be.

Speaking from the heart in a mature likeable way is not afc but DJ if used timely

Approaching more than analyzing is more effective

Always feel good about making the approach no matter what happens. It takes balls.

Don't turn AFC so fast or fall completely infatuated with target. Even after sex or LTR declaration the game still goes on....

Be patient and expect tests and games. Don't next at first **** test or game but let the plate now in a calm mature matter thats its not appreciated and won't be tolerated. Keep your cool though and don't show that you are angry.

Liking a girl or feeling attraction to her is naturally, don't fight but use the energy to your advantage.

Don't ask permission but make confident statements. Its easier to ask for forgiveness than permission

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Nice to see your insights/ideas based on solid fieldwork man. It beats some keyboard jockies theorizing anyday

Asking a girl to dance verbally as an opener doesn't usually work

Word. Neither does asking them why they are all alone

Try to make definite plans. This helps avoid last minute flakes

Amen to that. 1/2 assed plans and they double book you...

A follow up text shortly after meeting the girl helps shows her IL by whether or not she responds. Those that do tend to be interested, those that don't are usually flakey from the start

err.... no real experience here so won't comment

Being nice and friendly to all the targets friends even guys is the best way to be.

yup

Speaking from the heart in a mature likeable way is not afc but DJ if used timely

???

Approaching more than analyzing is more effective

Amen to that

Always feel good about making the approach no matter what happens. It takes balls.

yup. its the best feeling when you have had AA all day and then you say F it and go in

Don't turn AFC so fast or fall completely infatuated with target. Even after sex or LTR declaration the game still goes on....

yessir

Be patient and expect tests and games. Don't next at first **** test or game but let the plate now in a calm mature matter thats its not appreciated and won't be tolerated. Keep your cool though and don't show that you are angry.

yup you gotta be patient. You can be angry @ times but only within reason

Liking a girl or feeling attraction to her is naturally, don't fight but use the energy to your advantage.

yea I've stifled my urges far too many times and paid the price

Don't ask permission but make confident statements. Its easier to ask for forgiveness than permission

no exp. here

 

[Reyaj]

Questions

Girls that are stuck up or not receptive when you approach them initially; should you even bother?

Girls that say to find them later when asking for their phone numbers, or who say they don't give it out right away or easily; Should I just move on or actually waste time re-engaging them for it later on?

Should focus be made only on targets with positive body language ie: smiling, happy, or just approach everyone and everything?!@?!?@

Should one always flirt? Make it part of your personality and flirt with everyone everywhere?

If you get a girls number and she spots you talking to another girl that same night, does this negatively affect you?

How do you deal with plates that don't respond to phone calls but that text all the time???

When approaching a girl in a set and they have a friend trying to c-block you... should you try and get her number asap and bail?

Is direct method better than indirect? Ie: Hey you are beautiful I just had to talk to you...

Should you always go for the number and not care about anything else?

Does masturbating too much effect your game?

Should you make statements about yourself based on her response? ie: Her: I like ice cream "I live in a place with a lot of ice cream shops"

Are lack of IOI's just games and not disinterest?

Should you dictate plans and always put your needs and idea of fun before hers?

Should you always talk about emotions and not facts?

Does this random approach make sense to do "Hey I'm really busy right now and have to get going but can I ask u a question real quick...... are you single.... give me your number and if we get along maybe we can go get coffee or something"

Are c&f openers the best to use... even light negs?

 

[Reyaj]

Ok time for my approachhes over the weekend. THey were pretty much all done in night life clubs and 1 in a bar/lounge. Pretty typical as in I got the digits but most seem flaky for the most part. Still I did a few things differently in that I overcame some objections/hesitations from the girls which I would have previously quit on and I ended up getting the digits. Lets get into it as I remember

So last friday I basically went to a trendy part of town with a friend and started bar hopping. There really wasn't much going on... the few girls I attempted to engage just by being friendly didn't seem to show IOI so I left it at that. So the end of the night basically had come up and it seemed as if there was going to be no attempts made by me. However as I was getting into the car to go home i noticed this bar/lounge with 2 girls sitting at a table in the window. They looked alone so I don't know why but I decided to go into the bar/lounge and try for a quick number close. We walked into the place and I passed them by pretending I didn't notice them. Then after a few minutes I knew I had to pass them in order to leave so as I move towards them I go up to the one I had my eye on

Me: Excuse me how did you get that table?
Her: oh we just reserved it ahead of time
Me: oh.. I thought you were special (smiling)
Her: (kinda surprised) what, I am special (smiling and giggling)
Me: so what's your name?
Her: HB 6 and you?

Well I basically complimented her on her name and then went into my usually asking about her job where she is from. I then pulled my routine

Me: Well listen I should get going, I was on my way out anyway
Her: ok well it was nice meeting you

She sort of backed up as if that was that... but you know what I wanted to try something that night so I took a swing.

Me: Well listen it would be cool to talk to you more, what's your number i'll give you a call sometime

Her: ok

I pull out my phone and make her put her number in and she does. I tell her I'll talk to her soon and kiss her on the cheek. She was surprised by that but whatever.

So just for the heck of it and to piss off all you text haters I send her a text on my way home saying "it was nice meeting you hope to talk soon" Well she responds a little bit later "it was nice meeting u too have a good night dear"

Well I end up calling her on Memorial day night and she answers. She was actually on her way out to the bar we met at but seemed cool talking to me. She works for Airline so she travels a lot and was leaving the next day. I told her I'd like to hear all about it and she said she'd call or text me when she gets back.


Ok now onto saturday.... I went sarging at this beach club in this beach town that was full of young girls. I ended up going crazy approaching girls and pulled 5 numbers out of 7 approaches in which I went for digits. A lot of girls I opened weren't receptive in their body language so i just moved on immediately. Unfortunately they seem like flakes but I aint letting it get to me. Here is how it went down.

So I'm at this club with my friend and we walk by this 2 set on the dance floor. My friend makes a comment to one of the girls and starts talking to her. I immediately go up to her friend who was standing next to her

Me: (noticing she is short) Hey I have to ask you something, how tall are you?
Her: I'm 5'2
Me: ahh ok thats the perfect height in my opinion
Her: Yeah I think so too
Me: whats your name
Her: I'm HB 7 (she didn't ask for my name but stayed in convo)
Me: (realizing she wasnt going to ask for my name) how is that spelled
Her: xxxxxxxx
Me: I like that, you spell it the hot way
Her: thanks I think so too!
Me: what nationality are you, where from do you have a house here etc..

Well finally I knew the convo was getting stale so I did my close move

Me: well listen I'm going to go check out the rest of this club, let me get your number in case I don't see you before I leave
Her: ok its xxx-xxx-xxxx, call me so I can store yours
Me: I don't get service in here but I will

I kissed her on the cheek and told her it was nice meeting her.

Now my friend stayed talking to her friend probably another 5 mins after I was out... he said he got rejected on the number close.... I think this may have had a part in her flaking but whatever

So the next approach I see a girl dancing and I tell her I like her shirt is my favorite color, she smiles and I move in

Me: whats your name?
Her: HB 6 you?
Me: I'm Jayer, what do you do blah blah blah

I then go for the # close

Me: listen I have to go find my friend, but what's your number I'll give you a call
Her: I'm sorry I have a boyfriend
Me: lol.... come on... just tell me you think I'm ugly lol
Her: what stop... I didn't even look at you

I look at her directly and smile

Me: listen just give me your number, I'll send you a text if you don't answer I won't bother you again
Her: ok...

So she gave me the digits, I kissed her on the cheek and moved on

Ok so the next girl I see is dancing with her friends listening to some 80's music. I noticed she has glasses so I tried that angle

Me: Hey I like your glasses
Her: oh thanks
Me: what's your name
Her: HB 6 you
Me: Jayer, where from etc..

then i'm like "Hey listen I have to go find my friend let me get your number i'll give you a call"

Her: umm I'll be here don't worry (then she looks away)

blah whatever... onto the next one

Ok so the next approach I see a girl standing by the dance floor I position myself and accidently bump into her

Me: excuse me you just elbowed me (smiling)
Her: I'm sorry.. (seeming sorta drunk)
Me: (moving in with some kino) whats your name
Her: HB 6 and you?
Me: Jayer blah blah blah blah blah

I then say something interesting

Me: so how old are you?
Her: How old do you think I am?
Me: looking at her up and down... 19?
Her: haha very funny, I'm 24
Me: well you look great blah blah blah, where do u work blah blah blah

ok close time

Me: well listen I have to go find my friend let me get your number I'll give you a call
Her: ok
Me: (pulled out my phone) go ahead
Her: (pausing) no way you said I was 19
Me: (laughing) it was a compliment, come on give me your number I have to go
Her: xxx-xxx-xxxx

I kissed her on the cheek and moved on

Ok onto the next girl. So I'm standing around looking for targets when I see a girl stumble (probably cause she was drunk) I move right in directly to her face

Me: Hey how's it going?
Her: good you
Me: good, whats your name
Her: HB 6 and you?
Me: jayer blah blah where u from what do u do.. u never heard of my town blah blah

Well it turns out she said she works in the same town as me. I say we should get lunch and she agrees.

Me: well listen I have to go find my friend whats your # I'll call you
Her: xxx-xxx-xxxx, yeah go find your friend bye

I kiss her on the cheek and I'm out

Ok so now for the approach I found most interesting. I was hanging around the entrance looking for my friend since we got split up, when I notice a girl next to me texting. I believe she said something about the place being crowded or something so I just look at her and say

Me: Do you know how big this place is.. its my first time here
HB 5: yeah me too... its packed
Me: (noticing she has a big nose) are you Italian by any chance?
HB 5: No argentinian actually
Me: (bssing) wow really I have family from there, what part?

blah blah she goes into this whole speel how she just visited there and where is she from whatever

So anyway I'm like

Me: listen I have to get go find my friend I think he got lost, let me get your number i'll give you a call sometime
Her: (making a disappointed face) you know honestly I'm seeing someone I don't feel right about it I'm sorry...
Me: (laughing) so... that means you aren't allowed to talk to anyone? we can be friends
Her: (laughing) I guess you right, here is my number xxx-xxx-xxxx, he pissed me off tonight anyway
Me: Well I kissed her on the cheek and told her I'd talk to her soon

Ok so now onto the last approach of the night. I am walking toward my car with my friend and there is a single girl in front of us. She probably heard all the bs about girls my friend and I were talking... but anyway all of a sudden she turns around to us and is like

HB 6: Hey are you both stalking me?
Me: haha no I'm trying to find my car... hey I'm lost can you help

I get her to stop and she gives me directions.... I'm basically not even paying attention as i'm plotting my next move in my head and she picks up on this and says

Her: Hey I'm drunk and i'm telling you this are you listening cause u dont seem like u r following
Me: yeah of course (trying to reiterate what she says)

Then after everything when she is done I'm like

Me: whjats your name anyway?
Her: HB 6
Me: HB 6 let me give you a call sometime
Her: (surprised) noooo

She just turns around and keeps walking

Totals

Approaches 72
Numbers 45

 

[SickAgain]

I'm impressed. I like your persistence on those few. You've come a long way.