I've never asked for HELP! Before BUT....

[wunnaBsmooth]

ok. Let's start by saying, I've never asked outright for help on Sosuave or any other site before, but I have a problem chic that I think I need to NEXT.. the problem is, she's playing me which completely hosing my game and a lot of other stuff.

1st. I work out 4 days each week for 2 hrs a day, play guitar in a somewhat popular cover group. I have a VERY stable and decent income and do the basics when it comes to taking care of myself and presenting myself to the world.

I think..I totally hosed this up but I need to fix.

I believe the problem might be that I didn't make a move soon enough and now she's nexting me..lol
We've been out on 2 pseudo dates while she's on her break from her work.
I haven't made a move because I didn't see a decent segway to getting close and I guess I kind of froze up. She did hug me 2 times, and I should have made my move then and there, but I didn't.
So now she flaked on a date we had arranged for yesterday. No text, no call to explain. Nothing at all! I texted her to ask her if she was ready? And after waiting an hour, texted her again to tell her that I was taking another date to our plans (it was supposed to be a joke, I took my daughter...lol) Still nothing. No response. It's like her damn phone is broken or something. We all know most chics don't go sh*t with out their cell.
This is like the 3rd time she's disappeared after making plans with me and is insistent that she wasn't going to miss out. Even goes so far as to say that she doesn't think it's fair if I pay attention to some other girl when she hasn't received that attention. SO WTF???
I texted her today (the day after the missed date) and asked her "what happened to you yesterday? I mean besides dissing on me.... NO response....
I KNOW she's playing me (or genuinely doesn't like me anymore). Which one is it? And how do I find out with out looking like a pu$$y?
I don't mind nexting her, but right now, it feels like it's on her terms. And I don't like that..
I need some good ideas here men!

Thanks....
obviously I wunnbsmooth

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Hesitate and thou art lost

Law 28: Enter Action with Boldness
If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous: Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.


NEXT

 

[horaholic]

Got a list of your 'laws' anywhere Rollo?

 

[wunnaBsmooth]

man... it sucks when Rollo Tomassi Kicks your ass like that.....

You're right though. I even SAW and recognized the Puppy Dog dinner bowl too!

You think there's no chance of regaining control over this?


maybe I need a copy of the Laws too!

 

[Colossus]

This is like the 3rd time she's disappeared after making plans with me and is insistent that she wasn't going to miss out....I texted her today (the day after the missed date) and asked her "what happened to you yesterday? I mean besides dissing on me.... NO response....

Read that bold sentence a few times. Then ask yourself what a Man of value would do with a woman who disregarded him and his time, repeatedly.

And how do I find out with out looking like a pu$$y?

You dont. You delete her number and forget her face. Dont ever tolerate that sh!t again.

If I got stood up ONCE I would do an about face and move on, my friend. If she is truly sorry she will come to me and offer her explanation on bended knee.

 

[Mr. Me]

You can't fix this. It went south some time ago, you're just seeing the crest waves of that.

She's not "playing" you. "Playing" is a term people use when they don't understand what's going on. If she was truly "playing" you, she'd be keeping the dates and eating the meals and entertainment you provide and telling you you're the only one while doing other guys.

I can't say it's because you didn't make a move because if she wanted you to make a move, she would still want you to make a move. So I suspect she lost interest and it happened on or about the "pseudo" dates.

She spoke to you regarding not liking you paying attention to another girl? That had to be when you were on your pseudo dates with her... so why did she say that? Were you obviously looking at or paying attention to or commenting about other women while you were with her? Maybe that's partly the problem? Her interest sinks because of that disrespect and you got hugs instead of a kiss at the end of the night.

The hugs were the sign that she wasn't interested any more.

Mind you, we don't have the details of all your interactions with her, so who knows what else played a factor. Not that I'm asking for more details.

But once these things go south, my friend, the cow has left the barn and the door's closed. So, yes, you might as well next her - because she's already nexted you.

You may not like it and wish to do something about it, but that's your wounded ego and pride talking.

 

[vitor]

It sucks but if you step back and pretend you are me reading this. Why would you want to date someone who makes plans and then does not show up. She is so careless with your time, and is being a ***** for flaking on you. It sucks its jus the instant gratification generation where we want what we want right now. She sucks, move on.. The best thing you can do is to never call her again, and if she calls you ignore her, if she keeps calling tell her she can pick you up and take you out, but you are done asking her out..

Move on to bigger and better things

 

[buster69]

Laws of power


http://www.wisdomportal.com/Books/48LawsOfPower-1.html

 

[samspade]

I don't mind nexting her, but right now, it feels like it's on her terms. And I don't like that..

Everyone has given great advice so I'll just add this: Get over whether it's on her terms or yours. These details shouldn't matter to you or your ego. She nexted you, it was lame, so what, move on. I can't stress enough how important not giving a damn is.

 

[wunnaBsmooth]

you guys are right and I shouldn't really give two shlts.
The frame WAS screwed from the beginning, but it was the only frame I had.. lol
Dang. How pathetic!!
So she asked me to go with her tomorrow for another time while she's on her break..... I know I shouldn't do it.
This chic is really freakin cute! At least an 8 Damn it!! And to be honest, I don't have any other plates to workup right now...
Maybe I'll go with her, run a palm read on her and see if i can escalate. Why not? It's basically done now anyway...... So who cares what happens?

Thanks for the advice and I AM nexting this chic, but I gotta try to escalate at least once.....lol

 

[Blackdon]

So she asked me to go with her tomorrow for another time while she's on her break..... I know I shouldn't do it.
This chic is really freakin cute! At least an 8 Damn it!! And to be honest, I don't have any other plates to workup right now...
Maybe I'll go with her, run a palm read on her and see if i can escalate. Why not? It's basically done now anyway...... So who cares what happens?

Thanks for the advice and I AM nexting this chic, but I gotta try to escalate at least once.....lol

Freakin cute or not, she is playing games with you. Don't go for the second date. This will erode the little respect that she has for you. Why do you have to reschedule your plans to fit in hers, this is not fair. It is your turn to stand up on her, don't appear for the date, go do something at that time. And when she calls, tell her you forgot about the whole thing. But if you really owe it to your ego, to go and prove your self to you, go 'read her palms and escalate'. I assure you she might put you under her spell, make you forget about nexting her, and soon you will be back on track chasing her like there is no tommorrow.

 

[wunnaBsmooth]

Ok... I concede!

Gentlemen,
I DID NOT GO ON THE DATE TONIGHT!
Nothing to report, seriously, the usual silence.
I'm going to stick to it. And I won't be contacting her again. (unless she calls up with the gaurenteed a$$)
My ego was hurting because my emotions were taking a beating. Thank you all for pointing out that fact.

So I thank you all for pointing out the obvious.
Its odd how in such a short time, she was able to cloud my sense of reality....

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

You're confusing 48 Laws of Power with the Iron Rules of Tomassi. And flattered as I am for that, yes, I do have the 12 rule set, and no, I wont collect them all in one thread for you.

 

[Fallen]

Come on Pleeeeeeeeeezzzzeeeeeeee! More wisdom for the Fallen and the doomed! :wave:

 

[Mr. Me]

The frame WAS screwed from the beginning, but it was the only frame I had

This chic is really freakin cute! At least an 8 Damn it!! And to be honest, I don't have any other plates to workup right now...
Maybe I'll go with her, run a palm read on her and see if I can escalate. Why not? It's basically done now anyway...... So who cares what happens?

I'll tell ya, I've heard those rationalizations before. They're almost like excuses to keep making the same mistakes and to me, indicate no will power to move beyond the influence of a pretty face. I think the value in not shrugging one's shoulders and saying "how can it hurt now?" is that one strengthens one's ability to next girls and move on.

If you want to practice on women, great, but don't get into the habit of practicing on disinterested women after it's gone south. That's just futile. That would be tantamount to trying to teach your puppy to do a trick after he's died. Instead practice on how to get it right from the start.

 

[wunnaBsmooth]

Mr me...

I think you're right.
In fact most of the posts in this have nailed this thing to the wall. it's over. I'm not going to contact her again at all. And have moved onto to talking to other ladies.
I truley believe that the two mistakes I made were spending too much time allowing her to keep my attnetion through texts, and when we were on our "dates" i didn't move things physical in the time she needed. Which really means i supplicated to her... And now have just what I sewed into this....
She is freakin cute and I haven't put myself out there too often lately. So it makes sense that i would have wrapped myself into her like that, but I'm working that problem like everyone else here.

Time to get to work on it.......!

Thanks for adding your thoughts! Sometimes even an old man needs an a$$ whooping to put things back in perspective.....