I've got oneitits!

[Sniper1088]

I've got oneitis. I have never gotten oneitis since first coming to this sight, which I lurked at first. But this girl managed to slip under my radar. I never really was interested in her until recently when I began talking to her. Now every minute that I am apart from her, causes me to think bad thoughts. Thoughts of her with other guys, and it just kills me.

I fawked up and now I got oneitis. It's like an STD, you never expect it to happen to you. How can I get rid of this? All replies will be appreciated. Thanks.

 

[Maxtro]

Go FTOW that’s ƒuck ten other women. I'm trying to get over my oneitis and I have eight more women to go. It has helped because I don’t think about her as much anymore but I still want to screw her. If you can’t FTOW occupy your mind with something else.

Read this The ULTIMATE Guide to Beating/Avoiding Oneitis! Revised Edition

 

[comic_relief]

read this post too

http://sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=42742

one of the best beating of oneitis posts i have read on this site. Of coarse i have only been here for awhile.

 

[comic_relief]

Maxtro beat me to what i was going to say. Disregard what i said because he said the same thing i said.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Nobody slips under anybodies Radar. We put them there.

We are the ones who develop infatuations with someone. It's 100 percent our fault. It's our fault if we think about them all day long. It's our fault if we fall down on our knees shaking and quacking like a biblical character in the presence of an angel.

Why?

Cause We are the ones who put Them on a pedistal in our minds.

And we are the ones who can take them off.

You need to change your game. This way will only get you played and played out.

You started it this way so it's up to you to end it this way before it gets out of control

Good start by posting your tale of woe. I think they gave you some good pointers to other posts for help.

I've been watching this occurance for quite sometime. I think modern man is programmed now to develop oneitis with woman...must be something in the water these days.

Even I can feel the pull of developing this situation...but I don't. I keep it so that nobody is in charge of my happiness except me. I can walk away from ANYBODY at anytime. I am not afraid to give my heart either. I just know if it's not working then I will leave and find someone else to give my heart too.

 

[Sniper1088]

Thanks guys.

 

[Dirtheart]

I'm sorry but I think that F--- ten other women advice is dreadful!

First of all, what if you can't get ten other women? If you can get ten other women so easily, I doubt you'd have oneitis in the first place.

Secondly, it's degrading to both you and them and will possibly make you feel cheap (resulting in loss of self-worth).

Thirdly, one or more of these ten women could develop oneitis for you, and hurting others to relieve your own pain is selfish and amoral. Also, if it's purely casual and meaningless, that's really not good for self-esteem as it's not good to feel like you are meaningless.

And lastly, I believe that oneitis is more of an emotional issue than a sexual issue, so having sex is no more use than masturbating.

Just my opinion on the matter.

I'm overcoming oneitis/ex-girlfriend right now and I'm finding the best way to deal with it is by building confidence in myself through self-affirmation and meditation, which is giving me an OVERALL sense of fulfilment, while keeping my moral values in tact (something I consider very important and a strong part of my character).

 

[Maxtro]

I'm sorry Dirtheart but your post makes me laugh

I do realize that most people that have oneitis can't do 10 other women. Thats why I posted a link to the guide.

Secondly, it's degrading to both you and them and will possibly make you feel cheap (resulting in loss of self-worth).

Loss of self-worth?! LOL I've had sex with two women, my self-worth is miles higher than it was when I was a virgin.

Thirdly, one or more of these ten women could develop oneitis for you, and hurting others to relieve your own pain is selfish and amoral. Also, if it's purely casual and meaningless, that's really not good for self-esteem as it's not good to feel like you are meaningless.

The way to avoid that is to make sure that she knows it is only about sex. When she starts going into relationship mode, you either need to single her out and become exclusive or dump her before she gets in too deep.

And lastly, I believe that oneitis is more of an emotional issue than a sexual issue, so having sex is no more use than masturbating.

For me its a mix of emotional and sexual issues. Before I lost my virginity all my thoughts focused on my oneitis girl. Now that I've had sex my thoughts are equally spread between the girls I've had sex with and the oneitis. None of the feelings for any of the girls are as strong as they were for the first girl. After being with 10 girls the feelings we be divided equally between them all and you'll be too busy to even think of the oneitis girl.

If your way of getting over oneitis works for you, more power to you. I just wouldn't doubt the power of FTOW.

 

[TheRisingSon]

Must admit that I have a short attention span and stopped reading after P_S' reply. However, what he said is very close to my own reply...

The key lesson tonight is to love yourself first.

You deserve much more than a woman who won't return your feelings. Value yourself and you won't tolerate "games" from women.

Realize "games" means the woman thinks you are "OK." You beat a swift kick in the balls or boredom, but you aren't what she is looking for. Thus, she isn't what *you* are looking for.

Oneits is cause by "mixed" signals and "games." As soon as you realize that she is keeping you around "just incase" I think you will see the path is clear (although it may be hard, take the road less traveled).

Respect yourself and demand respect from others. You will be surprised just how easily you gain it.

I Have Risen

 

[Crank_It_Up]

a few simple rules to follow:

1) never let your happiness depend on your relationship with a girl... to suggest such a thing means you have no life. If you have no life, this could be the reason she left you in the first place.

2) grow up, you can't always get what you want... if not, move on, don't waste valuable time crying over spilled milk, or women.

 

[Jay26]

Honesty, you only have one-itis if you want to!

Quit making this girl out into some kind of fantasy girl... She' ain't!

More than likely she's some dumb ho, who, because you ain't getting none, you've elevated to the status of goddess. One day you'll grow out of it and think 'what the **** was I doing???'.

 

[Sniper1088]

I'm already coming out of it. I forced myself to other girls I'm attracted to, and when I was with them I couldn't think about her. I saw her later on in the day, but I didn't focus on her too long. I still get SOME thoughts, but no where near like before. Thanks!

 

[Maxtro]

I'm glad you’re getting over your oneitis Sniper1088. Now I just need to get over mine. Its funny, the solutions I posted should work for me but they don't.

From what I've seen the best way to get over it is to focus on several other girls. I did that by having sex with two other girls, but that was last week. I can never do the first girl again and I'm waiting for a phone call for the second. So now I'm stressing out over two girls. My oneitis and the girl I'm waiting for. If I can just get laid soon I'll be fine for a couple of days. But I don't know when that will happen and I don't have the skills yet to get other girls.

Today was even worse because I talked to my oneitis during the beginning of class and while walking her to her car after class. I had the perfect opportunity to ask her out but like a wuss I was too scared of her answer If I can just not care what she thinks I can ask her out. Damn it I need to get laid again so bad and she's the only possibility.

What is the best way to not care about a girls answer? This is really stressing me out and I’m getting depressed too. I had no idea going several days without sex was so painful.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Maxtro:

I can't remember where I read this but it seems like solid advice.

You should pull out a piece of paper, make a list of all the horrible traits of your one-itis. Anytime you think about how great and perfect she is, pull the list out and remind yourself that she's more flawed than flawless.

Player is right, One-itis is strictly the guy's fault. Stop putting women on this higher level and you'll learn never to care and let another person control your happiness. When you meet a solid girl, you'll instantly know she's worth your time.



PIMP

 

[TheRisingSon]

By this site's logic I am wrong. Then again, I don't care.

Oneits is not bad. What is love? Oneitis on both sides of the relationship. Don't feel ashamed, you are feeling what all humans feel. The only problem is that the other person doesn't have oneitis also. The solution is simply to realize this, and move on until you find that the feelings are returned.

(No, this isn't from the same "angle" as everyone else "seems" to be coming from, but break it all down. It *is* the same, if you can work through the details.)

I Have Risen

 

[Maxtro]

I tried making a list of her faults and I also ended up making a list of her qualities.

Since I don't know her that well yet, here's what I can come up with.

Cons
She gets drunk while being underage.
She sometimes smokes
I don't like her hair that much, has streaks
Only an 8
Almost always with her friend

Pros
18 years old
Pretty
Great body
Fun to be with
Seems to be emotionally stable
Nice to almost everyone, including me
Seems to enjoy talking to me
Doesn't mind walking with me
Has money

I know she is not perfect, nobody is but she is basically a great girl to have. And I’m sure will have a lot of fun if we hook up. What I need to do is just ask her out. I just don’t want to have the risk of her hating me, like all girls before her did. Right now we are acquaintances almost becoming friends.

I need to break it down of what would happen if I do or don’t ask her out.

1. She says yes, we go somewhere together, have sex soon after.
2. She says yes, we start dating, no sex for a while.
3. She says no, I’m still able to talk to her like nothing has changed.
4. She says no, and never wants to talk to me again.

Right now the fear of #4 is keeping me silent. If I never ask her out, it’s guaranteed that I’ll be able to talk to her everyday in class and on the way to the parking lot. But when I get in my car I’ll be cussing and getting pissed off at myself about how stupid I am. If I don't ask her out I'll NEVER have sex with her (just beating that into my brain) NEVER have sex with her. I really want #1 to happen but #4 is just too scary. I need to force my mind into not caring what she thinks. I just don’t have enough female interaction to really believe that they are not better than me.

My desire for frequent sex and a relationship is simply too strong to just move on. I would go after girls but I talk to her more than anybody else and she’s the simply the hottest girl I interact with. I haven’t had oneitis for a girl in almost four years and now that I’ve had sex, my desire for her is magnified because I have an idea of what doing her would be like.

Anyways thanks for the advice.

 

[Sniper1088]

Reversal. My oneitis is nearly completely gone, and now I think she's feeling something for ME! I hate the feeling of oneitis so I'm gonna watch myself now.

Maxtro the odds of #4 happening are WAY LOW. Why would she hate you for asking her out?

 

[Maxtro]

Thats cool Sniper1088, make her come to you

Why would she hate me if I asked her out? Simple, I'm paranoid She's a really nice girl and I'm going to ask her tommarow. Pleas bless me oh of God of DJ's.

 

[Maxtro]

DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The day started off smooth enough. I wanted to walk around with out her noticing me for a bit and “accidentally” run into her. But she sees me and calls me over to her and her friend asking for some help with her homework. Then we walk to class and the girls talk amongst themselves. We show up about 10 minutes early and I’m thinking to myself this is it. I’m going to wait for the right moment and ask her out. As soon as they sit down they immediately start working on the assignment. She said they are going to leave early since they don’t need to review for a test they are not going to take. I let her use my stapler and calculator and get to touch her hands.

I try to start a conversation about what they will be doing in Cancun next week and she shushes me, telling me not to talk because she wants to focus on the assignment. When she finishes she immediately gets up they say “Bye” to me and walks out the door. She comes back grabs her keys says bye again and she’s gone.

I’m sitting there completely baffled. She’s gone and I didn’t get to say anything to her. It never occurs to me to get off my ass and go after her. For some reason I’m thinking class is too important to cut. What the ƒuck is wrong with me?!?!?! I should have gone after her and now it’s too ƒucking late. I won’t see her again till next, next Monday.

This whole incident almost brings me to tears and I still don’t know if I have a shot with her and now I have to wait a ƒucking week to find out. I’m almost certain that she would say yes but I wasn’t even able to ask her.

Right now I’m completely crushed. I don’t know how I can handle the fallowing week. And I still can’t believe that I actually stayed in class instead of going after her. I am going through major oneitis but this time it's with a girl I actually have a shot at getting. It feels like god is ƒucking with me. Constantly teasing me. Why they hell can't something good happen to me?!

Complete and utter failure.

 

[Maxtro]

OK I need some real quick advice.

It was just brought to my attention that I can go to her work and maybe run into her.

She works at a resaruant and there is a good chance she would be there.

I have never visited her work before. Should I go?