its over after 3 years - my life feels empty. help

[PectoralisMajor]

There was no big arguement, no clash of personality, a special bond existed between us, we lived together for over a year, and now, its gone. she's turned her back on our relationship, had enough, end game, doesnt see us having kids or getting married.

I have no regrets, I supported, loved, and gave everything into the relationship, and picked her up on any bad behaviour by explaining calmly.

so, what now? my life has been turned upside down in one evening, I woke up in shock this morning, I feel so sad. Ok so I have the gym, I have a supportive familly, I have a couple of good friends. it seems like a MOUNTAIN to climb to get any sort of order back into my life. I am already dreading the weekends..a massive void has opened in my life.

 

[arutha]

Sucks to hear it man.. I certainly know the pain you are going through.

Make sure you cut any reminders of her out of your life, get rid of her number, email, pictures, delete of facebook etc. Essentially, the best way to move on is to start seeing other girls, but of course that is very difficult and hard to be friendly when you are so down. You need to distract your mind with other things, focus on your career and the rest of your life, get some new hobbies if necessary, and start seeing your friends a lot more. Simply having fun with friends can help you feel better. Laughter really does help, find some good comedies and watch/read them.

Know that it will take time to get over things and for you to start feeling normal again. It may be worth going to a doctor/psychologist and talking to them about depression; anti-depressants help a lot in the long term and if you tell them you are going into states of shock or having panic/anxiety attacks they can prescribe some pills that are basically sedatives and completely calm that burning in your chest down that you feel.

 

[trent81]

I have no regrets, I supported, loved, and gave everything into the relationship, and picked her up on any bad behaviour by explaining calmly.

QUOTE]


That's why you lost her. It's okay, there will be others. Women are like money, they come and go. Hang in there, time heals. Find another one, but just remember, that statement above, should be done by the woman, not you.

 

[1337]

close your eyes and watch deeply where this misery is coming from and don't look to the external sources. You will soon see that the misery is coming from inside you,from your dependency on her attention. Then watch yourself and understand these miserable feelings from a 3rd person view then you will simply laugh at how your mind is generating these feelings of worthlessness because its becomes a slave to the attention from her. This will take a while but should help you out. Also meditate,do hobbies, work on life goal to set your mind straight.

 

[speakeasy]

Just realize that what you're going through right now is 100% the norm and you are having a normal human experience that everyone will go through at some point in their life. Almost everyone that goes through will emerge from it even stronger and will dust themselves off and carry on and even build off the experience to become better. In the meantime, just acknowledge the pain and don't try to run from it or minimize it. You have the right to feel it. Now may even be a good time to take that vacation somewhere you always wanted just to get out of your frame.

Time will take care of the pain, just don't be in denial about it and look for ways to learn from your mistakes and move on.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

appreciate the tips.

she has done a U-turn and now cant live without me.

so why'd she leave in the first place?? I need some time to think things over.

 

[Allurre]

Hey bro, I know exactly what you're going through, as I've seen it gone down before.

The best thing you can do now is is to move on.

Stop trying to retract your steps and find out what missing puzzle you didn't plug in to play. There could be far too many variables to sift through.

It's great to reevaluate, but don't get emotionally involved. When this feeling of dread intensifies, you become more unproductive with your days, and your wasting your time and energy for nothing.

There'll be a better woman waiting for you, just continue growing and building your career, chasing your passion.

This girl who U-Turned on you will eventually START feeling attraction towards AGAIN when she sees you living the life. Letting her know that you're drowning in misery isn't going to help or buy sympathy from her.

 

[V2Logger]

All I can say is that I traveled down the road you're going down now except that I have crossed the bridge now. Check out the "No Contact Challenge" thread. This totally helped me along with friends and keeping myself busy.

It will hurt, you will have broken sleep, but the more you set distance between yourself and that chapter of your life, the more you will move on.

Go out and do what you haven't in a long time. I went out with different women afterwards. They were not the best dates, but they helped me getting myself back into gear. It will be challenging at first, but just get out there again. Just my two cents.