its never enough

[georgie24]

i cant stress this enough, my girl makes me feel as if im not enough, she *****es about everything, i dont contribue enough, i dont spend enough tme home, i dont do enough. it seems enless and i am overwelmed now, if i could i will file relationship bankrupcy. how does a man fix this situation? does he leave and become the " the bad guy" or does he stay to be slayed of his pride and soul?

i am unemployed and everyday i get up and buy 2 newspapers, i send faxe's of my resume 3 times a weeks to compainies, im constantly job searching whether its online or newspaper. im constanly "on" the job search. i go to the gym in the mornings workout, i go to the library for thier resources like fax machines, internet and so forth every day. i take her mom to work first thing in the morning everyday, then i take her son to school right after i drop her off everyday, come that after noon im picking up her kid from school then 1 hour later its off to pick up her mom.. then i split my unemployment check with her leaving me with barley and money, then she starts on me that im lazy, im a user, a lyar..


wtf im so deep in ****'s creek with no paddle i dont know what to do

 

[Tkman]

Originally posted by georgie24
how does a man fix this situation? does he leave and become the " the bad guy" or does he stay to be slayed of his pride and soul?

When you find a job, leave as the "bad guy" with pride and soul.

 

[Piece_Maker]

Dawg, just drop her @ss. You sound like you have enough problems, you don't need some fvcking nag making it worse. If anything it sounds like SHE'S using YOU, so how can you be the "bad guy" when SHE'S the one breathing down your neck?

I repeat, tough as it may be, what with her mom and her kid, you simply do NOT need any of that in your life right now. Get rid of her, and you'll be a much happier person for it in the long run.

 

[georgie24]

i wish it was easy, im attched to her. like i said im so deep in this crap i need advice from you single bro's who been in simalar situation, i been living in a cacoon like enviroment for the last year and a half. no buddies no nothing

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

This in an old tale that I will share with you

There was an old man who live in a country town in the south.

Every morning he walks to the small city and sits in front of this store just so that he wouldn't be home alone. He also brought his dog with him.

The old dog would sit in the same spot where lies a rusty nail. Once he sit down on it, the dog makes this horrible noise constantly like it was in pain.

People will walk by and ask the man what's wrong the dog and he will state that the dog is sitting on a nail and does it everytime they come to the city. After looking at the dog in pain, someone ask: "why don't you help your dog".

The old man replies: If he was in so much pain why do he continue to sit on it and just gripe about it. When he gets tired and can't take it anymore, then he will get up from it.


Peace.

 

[georgie24]

that dog is me i guess

 

[Saine]

Originally posted by georgie24
that dog is me i guess

That dog is you, but if you don't understand the moral of the story, you're stupid too. Drop her ass and get yourself a new life! You don't even need a job, start your own! Think! Think! Think!

 

[georgie24]

i know me leaving will cause a big blowup/fight. i could hear it now your a lyar, user you used me and my kid, yadayadayada.. it wont be easy, she knows my family she has phone numbers that she used when we had a fight she called one of my relatives criing saying that i left her alone for hours and she had to walk, she knows the gym i go to.. i need to escsape for a while

 

[Cremasta]

Originally posted by georgie24
i take her mom to work first thing in the morning everyday, then i take her son to school right after i drop her off everyday, come that after noon im picking up her kid from school then 1 hour later its off to pick up her mom.. then i split my unemployment check with her leaving me with barley and money, then she starts on me that im lazy, im a user, a lyar..

Are you living with your girl and her family? Why are you giving her half your check? I think you know who is using who here. So you don't have a job right now, it happens to all of us. Keep looking, the worm will turn...

I've never been in this situation, but its easy to see you are basically a butler... without any of the respect. Your girl is supposed to be supportive of you and your efforts to improve yourself. If she is dragging you down, all you are going to get is a stomach ulcer and an ingrained hatred of women in general.

Just one bit of advice on the job hunting. If you can't sell it, give it away for free. I've gotten a few jobs which have developed from voluntary work. And if your free labour doesn't become paid employment, then it always looks good on your resume.

 

[georgie24]

ulcer?

i might have one of those, when she acts up she makes me physicaly sick to my stomach

 

[getafix]

You write that you need to escape for a while... Man you need to ESCAPE, period.
Run and do not look back. Nothing this woman can do to you is as bad as what you are going thru right now.

 

[georgie24]

Originally posted by getafix
You write that you need to escape for a while... Man you need to ESCAPE, period.
Run and do not look back. Nothing this woman can do to you is as bad as what you are going thru right now.

now all i have to do is take heed. you seem to understand what im going through.

thanks for the input guys

 

[Austin Allegro]

Just one thing. Trying to get a job is like trying to get a girl - if you already have one, it's easier to get another.

So take ANY job - temp work, McDonalds, get a window cleaning round, anything....and your confidence will increase.

Nothing's worse than sitting around at home with no job.

 

[georgie24]

a job eh?

she talked me into turning down this gig at a tire store, the hours where 8 a.m-7 p.m mon-sat pay was a flat 500.00 week. she said i would never be home and it would be trouble if i took the job. i feel like killing myself now( not literally)

 

[Walden]

I haven't read all of this thread so someone's probly already said it. She's sh!t testing you into a corner. This is how guys trun into those semi-submissive half men ruled by their wives. You need to yank her chain to get har back in line.
Ditch her for a week. Then take her back when she comes whining and begging to you.

 

[PlayerinTraining]

You are letting her turn you into a chump

Hey man,

I remember when I was going through college, I had a lot of trouble finding work. I came from a poor family, so money was always a problem. I felt miserable that I couldn't find steady work, even though I have always done a good job whenever I was hired to do something.

I had a girlfriend at the time, and she NEVER did any of the things your chick is doing to you. She was always supportive of me.

Fortunately, I scraped by, got my degree, and now I'm steadily employed, with money in the bank. Having a decent income, with money in the bank does wonders for your self confidence.

Being a man and not having a job that pays the bills severely damages a person's self-confidence. Having a "girlfriend" who calls you a lazy, lying, using, son-of-a B*tch, certainly doesn't help.

The others advised you to dump her. I would agree--it is a smart move. Those who don't help you when you are down, only pull you down farther.

You already feel ashamed and worthless because employers aren't hiring you. Now you have a "girlfriend" telling you all sorts of nasty sh!t. If you honestly believe you are making the effort to better yourself, this woman needs to go.

Don't let her use your feelings of guilt and shame against you. Do what is best for yourself, regardless of how selfish she makes you seem to be.

You might find a recent post of mine helpful in breaking her spell over you:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=40403

 

[Frenchy_Juan]

Better now than later...

Hey Georgie24,

Maybe you should wait until you get a kid with her, get divorced / split and end up with a big alimony and then at that point you'll be thinking back that now would have been a good and easier time to run away, with less damage.

Don't take this as mean but from somebody who's been in a similar situation... spent many years trying to satisfy my ex. When I'd try and fix things she'd be unhappy with, she'd find something else to complain about, or put the blame on me.

I think she is definately using you. Either she does it intentiallly or even worse, in my case, I came to the conclusion after a long time that she doesn't even realise what she's doing. No need to waste time trying to talk / explain to her, she wouldn't understand or acknowledge.

Part of the work you have to do on yourself is realise that it takes two to tango. By that I mean you are also to blame for this. If she came to do this to you, it's due to the fact that you let her do it, get away with it.

All I can say is run for your life (I mean it literally) before you end up too focked up, with no more self confidence and self respect. It is your own health that's at stake here.

Try and write down the pros and cons of staying versus leaving. What are you getting from this? Are you really attached to her? Or are you affraid of ending up alone? What is there in this that a good girl couldn't offer you?

It always hard to break the status quo, but sometimes it's worth it. Later on, when you'll look back, you'll wonder why the hell it took you so long to do it.

Anyways, you should maybe consult with a specialist to try and see the light? I know it's hard to do it without her knowing, and with no money ( jobless) but maybe your area offers free services to people in your situation.

P.S. I'd agree that you should wait until you get a new job before jumping ship. Don't you think she has more control over you by having you at home with no job? I mean telling you to drop a good paying job so you could be at her side? What's in it for you? Don't feel guilty about waiting until you get a new job. You'll only be returning a little favor to her.

P.P.S. The fact that you are living this hell has probably an impact on the fact that you are out of work... bad vibes...

Be strong! For yourself!

Frenchy_Juan