Is marrying a single mommy with daughters a dangerous situation?

[MatureDJ]

I was reading this news item, and it got me thinking ...

www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2013/08/new_orleans_man_arrested_for_m.html

The reason that you marry (here, I use the term in the canonical legal sense as well as in the common-law sense) a woman is partly based on her attractiveness. In all likelihood, her daughters will be close copies of her at a younger and more sexually attractive stage of life (or at least they will eventually pass through that stage of life.) There is undoubtedly going to be some lust there after she gets past puberty and her figure becomes damn sexy - all the while she is there prancing around in her pajamas, walking from the bathroom to her room with only a towel, etc. And there is no yuck factor of her being your daughter.

To me, it's yet another reason to not get seriously involved with a single mommy.

 

[Warrior74]

I was reading this news item, and it got me thinking ...

www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2013/08/new_orleans_man_arrested_for_m.html

The reason that you marry (here, I use the term in the canonical legal sense as well as in the common-law sense) a woman is partly based on her attractiveness. In all likelihood, her daughters will be close copies of her at a younger and more sexually attractive stage of life (or at least they will eventually pass through that stage of life.) There is undoubtedly going to be some lust there after she gets past puberty and her figure becomes damn sexy - all the while she is there prancing around in her pajamas, walking from the bathroom to her room with only a towel, etc. And there is no yuck factor of her being your daughter.

To me, it's yet another reason to not get seriously involved with a single mommy.

I dated a single mother who was 40 with a 17 year old daughter that looked like the hotter spitting image of her mother. I'm an artist/dj and so is the daughter so we would talk about art and music. She started coming by unannounced without her mother and telling me how cool I was and how she thought older men were sexy and how I'm way to good for her mother. I told her she was a child and should date boys her own age and then I broke up with the mother the next day. I am not falling in that trap.

One of my clients told me that's the reason he finally got married. He said he was tired of dating middle age women with hot daughters who would flirt with him. He finally found a slightly younger woman with no kids and settled down.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Single Mommies,
Nope don't date em, don't marry em. Look the whole western hemisphere is already coddling them. They expect it. Do you want to add to that? I say no, want to stop single mommies from happening? Ignore them. If enough men took the red pill and did that we'd be one step farther towards our aim of destroying fem centrism.
KC

 

[bluenorther]

Fantasies about mom-daughter threesomes aside, my experience with adolescent/teen girls has been pretty awful. They cling to their mommies, because they haven't developed lives of their own, and any strange man who shows up gets viewed as a threat.
One mom I dated had me come by for sleepovers right away and her daughter went from He11beach to psychobabe because of it. My last ex wouldn't allow us to do sleepovers, except once, when her daughter was spending the night with her girlfriend. Daughter came home at 10:30, but mom elected to let me stay anyway... we were just getting down to business in bed! She told me later, daughter wound up having a huge issue about seeing my vehicle parked out front in the morning, and it was a major point with her next counseling visit. Sheesh, gimme a break.

 

[sodbuster]

a friend did that. His step daughter hogged the shower in the morning. He told her to quit... she didn't. So one morning, he grabbed her and tossed her out so he could get ready. sexual charges were filed, then dropped. But who needs it

 

[Paintballguy]

I'd rather be single then date some single mommy. Who wants to take care of or be forced to deal with another person's child?

 

[WoodB]

All it takes is for your girlfriend's kid to lie about you or insinuate something and you are immediately on the defensive or worse. A serious minefield.

 

[elpasorichard]

I'd rather be single then date some single mommy. Who wants to take care of or be forced to deal with another person's child?

Unlike a woman, a man doesn't truly know if his child is "his" without a DNA test. Hell, even with a woman, there have been stories of children switched at birth at the hospital. It doesn't matter to the child. All they know is who loves them.
If the biological father is not in the picture it doesn't matter to me. I will raise the child as my own. I actually have done this. Married a woman with a 5 year old daughter. I ended up divorced from the woman 10 years later, but her child is still "my" daughter.

Don't know if I would do it now, because I am much older. Also don't think I would do it with a woman with a teenage child, especially if the biological father is still in the picture. Hard to discipline a child who will say "You aren't my daddy." So it really depends on the circumstances.

 

[JulieWatson31]

Run like the wind!

 

[Paintballguy]

All it takes is for your girlfriend's kid to lie about you or insinuate something and you are immediately on the defensive or worse. A serious minefield.

It doesn't even take that... My friend got in hot water after his ex accused him of molesting her daughter. He eventually got cleared of everything, but it really screwed a lot of stuff up.

 

[glass half full]

If the daughters are still in the home, yes it can be a dangerous situation. To what degree depends on how much control she has over her kids. If she lets you take the brunt of it all, like my wife did along with other related factors, you may end up having a stroke years later, like myself. Man I will tell you it isn't worth it.

I allowed this to happen as a result of peer pressure. I had men older than me, hounding me openly in groups about not getting married and starting a family (in their words, doing my "manly duties"). I put up with this crap for the four years I was single. So I was determined to find myself an attractive wife, kids or not and keep it going no matter what. Let's face it, it was tough for a 29yo man to find a woman who doesn't have kids. I would love to find those guys and half-choke them these days lol! And say thanks a lot fellows!!
Single women with kids, unless the kids are out of the house, can be more trouble than they are worth. My friend in school referred this is a woman looking for a meal ticket, how true he was!

 

[Kailex]

Marrying a single mommy is a dangerous situation no matter what their offspring is... Never, Ever, EVER, NEVER.

Pass.

 

[samspade]

Marrying a single mommy is a dangerous situation no matter what their offspring is... Never, Ever, EVER, NEVER.

Pass.

Agreed. A mommy has already made her bed. Don't lie in it.

 

[WoodB]

Unlike a woman, a man doesn't truly know if his child is "his" without a DNA test. Hell, even with a woman, there have been stories of children switched at birth at the hospital. It doesn't matter to the child. All they know is who loves them.
If the biological father is not in the picture it doesn't matter to me. I will raise the child as my own. I actually have done this. Married a woman with a 5 year old daughter. I ended up divorced from the woman 10 years later, but her child is still "my" daughter.

Don't know if I would do it now, because I am much older. Also don't think I would do it with a woman with a teenage child, especially if the biological father is still in the picture. Hard to discipline a child who will say "You aren't my daddy." So it really depends on the circumstances.

I fully understand your situation. I am sure you are a good father to your daughter even though you are not biologically connected and are divorced from her mother. Still, you are fortunate in this situation because your wife had good control of her daughter and she respected you. I dated a much younger woman with a 9 year old daugther. The young girl was ALWAYS uncomfortable with the notion that I was her mother's boyfriend. Altough she liked me well enough, I could see a minefield up ahead. Never easy.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Elpa,
Keep it to the occasional Rendezvous...The Mother is probably fine...a story:Mate of mine an elderly computer nerd,shy,introverted,virtually a Virgin,meets a Chinese Bird,17 years old daughter...He moves in,one morning he got up feeling a bit irritable,had an argument with the daughter about the mess she was leaving in the Kitchen...Mother very annoyed,felt he should have left disciplining to her...next day daughter tearfully tells her mother,this guy had passed her coming from the shower and asked to look at her brvasts..laughable,but she threw him out anyway...Had she been a Western Mother it would have ended in Court,guy probably losing his Public Service Position!