Is knowing how to get a girlfriend something you have to be born knowing how to do?

[Poonani Maker]

but yeah the main point of my thread here is that it seems most guys, from the moment they start becoming attracted to girls, which is usually when puberty starts, they instinctively have the confidence, know what to say and when to say, overall, literally know how to talk to girls, they were never shy or had social anxiety with them, always knew how to talk to them and attract them in order to get a girlfriend, is the socialization thread that was posted in the Mature Man section, do you think those are valid factors as to what leads to a guys early success with girls?

It could be that their families were big enough, or enabled them in some way, to be socialized very well from the get-go. That they just always knew how to talk to girls cause their family was very traditional and "not weird" on that front, just natural old school traditional ways about the family. I grew up that way initially, but in high school definitely lost my way. I was in an ultra-conservative private christian school where if you were caught drinking on the weekend away from school, you were expelled or if you held hands at a football game, you, a student, were kicked out of the home stands. Visitors they could not enforce that.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

It could be that their families were big enough, or enabled them in some way, to be socialized very well from the get-go. That they just always knew how to talk to girls cause their family was very traditional and "not weird" on that front, just natural old school traditional ways about the family. I grew up that way initially, but in high school definitely lost my way. I was in an ultra-conservative private christian school where if you were caught drinking on the weekend away from school, you were expelled or if you held hands at a football game, you, a student, were kicked out of the home stands. Visitors they could not enforce that.

I guess having sisters helps, am I right or wrong?

 

[Poonani Maker]

I guess having sisters helps, am I right or wrong?

nicholson had nothing but sisters, I think that it helps, yes, not cousins but sisters with you all the time

 

[JaegerPilot217]

nicholson had nothing but sisters, I think that it helps, yes, not cousins but sisters with you all the time

there are guys I notice that did not have any siblings growing up, they have no siblings at all and yet they have had early success with girls, wonder what factors brought those up, yes I really do want to know, I know I am not those guys, I just want to know where I have failed in life, maybe my parents have failed me somehow, or something else, that way I don't let any other circumstances dictate my future

 

[JaegerPilot217]

i think all men are born with the instinctual knowledge to seduce women.

otherwise how would the species propagate?

the problem is that socialization and what we call the matrix are an attempt to suppress those urges through shaming and negative reinforcement. men are now rationalizing their fears and never approach.

on the individual level, you have the negative and positive loop system.

a kid in school teases and charms a classmate playfully and eventually it leads to something which boosts his confidence. the next time he deals with a girl he isnt going there with fear. he has positive experience.

on the flip side a kid approaches a girl he likes and she turns him down. he now has a "reason" not to approach women anymore until the stars are aligned and he is sure one of them likes him or he changes his entire game plan and attempts to do things the way it would seem women a man to (be nice, friendly, identify etc)

yeah but a lot of guys, starting in the teens and 20's, it's like they have always known how to talk to women specifically, how to talk in terms of knowing what to say and how to say it to them, have confidence, etc., it's like their brains, minds were programmed with the right literal scripts

 

[JaegerPilot217]

like i said, this simply goes back to their experiences as adolescents. it also helps to have positive masculine role models like fathers and brothers.

all the things you are talking about are learned behaviors built on the instinctual need/drive for sex. they only seem "natural".

women develope methods of screening men and men must adapt and some men simply arent smart enough to rationalize their fears.

you are overthinking this. there is no such thing as "naturals" if you want to look at it that way then all men are naturals.

instead of having to beat your chest and fight other dudes for the harem, just work on your game. work out, learn social skills, and chase your dreams. thats how women screen for men these days.

well now that's being more specific, thank you, and yeah I would imagine getting a girlfriend is easier in high school than it is in college, the girls who had experience in high school get harder to get in college because they get better at screening guys, and guys past success with girls is his confidence for future success with women, so eventhough it gets annoying and frustrating when people say it is never too late, but what they are right about is that it gets harder as you get older

 

[Poonani Maker]

I was around the local state university where I live today, and I cringed at the guys I'd hear talk, I swear, it was almost as if...they were girls talking with one another. It was soooo sad, that, I don't know if they will EVER break out of that wimpy valley girl talk (even though they're Fvcking guys) back and forth. Made me sick. Then onto the girls, they seemed brain-dead as fvck (this is about a $10K to $15K a year school, how do they get in??? These girls, guys, they seemed drunk almost all of them, and when I'd speak to them, they were just totally Airhead...just god damn, fvck. Retarded. I believe it's getting worse and worse. They were just bags of meat and they knew it too, but didn't care, that they just let it all hang out like that just a physical piece or block of body, no brain. Sad to see. I'm sure, maybe not, that they will break out of it one day, not sure, though. Is this just them "finding themselves???" Finding their true path, um yeah. No it's just a drunk-fest. Freshman and college girls. I mean, their voices were just tanked like raspy and guttery. Probably on drugs too. She tried to make me feel bad for her having to pay her rent which was $560, $10 of which was "insurance." I'm like ok, she's ****ering with the office girl over $10, I'm like ok, but isn't her parents paying for all this?? It's a poor mindset, that when you voice it in public makes you look sooooo destitute...Just pay it and Go! God damn...

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I was around the local state university where I live today, and I cringed at the guys I'd hear talk, I swear, it was almost as if...they were girls talking with one another. It was soooo sad, that, I don't know if they will EVER break out of that wimpy valley girl talk (even though they're Fvcking guys) back and forth. Made me sick. Then onto the girls, they seemed brain-dead as fvck (this is about a $10K to $15K a year school, how do they get in??? These girls, guys, they seemed drunk almost all of them, and when I'd speak to them, they were just totally Airhead...just god damn, fvck. Retarded. I believe it's getting worse and worse. They were just bags of meat and they knew it too, but didn't care, that they just let it all hang out like that just a physical piece or block of body, no brain. Sad to see. I'm sure, maybe not, that they will break out of it one day, not sure, though. Is this just them "finding themselves???" Finding their true path, um yeah. No it's just a drunk-fest. Freshman and college girls. I mean, their voices were just tanked like raspy and guttery. Probably on drugs too. She tried to make me feel bad for her having to pay her rent which was $560, $10 of which was "insurance." I'm like ok, she's ****ering with the office girl over $10, I'm like ok, but isn't her parents paying for all this?? It's a poor mindset, that when you voice it in public makes you look sooooo destitute...Just pay it and Go! God damn...

yeah I would say the rise of technology has really affected many guys negatively in the social world, I know because I am one of them, heck I bet when TV was invented that started a downfall too

 

[Stagger Lee]

yeah but a lot of guys, starting in the teens and 20's, it's like they have always known how to talk to women specifically, how to talk in terms of knowing what to say and how to say it to them, have confidence, etc., it's like their brains, minds were programmed with the right literal scripts

I think you are attributing success with females too much on what you say, or the script and confidence. I believe it's more about looks, body language and nonverbals. The nonverbals are still mostly subconscious though, so in a sense it is something you have or don't by adolescence, and it's something even harder to obtain than just having confidence and the "right" script.

But the point is even if you started out with enough confidence and saying the right things, it won't matter much because it's dependent on how you look saying it and how you say it. So you fail using the same script and basic behaviors as the better appearing successful guy. Your confidence understandably takes a hit and you start changing your behaviors and what you say for the worse because that wasn't the problem to begin with.

 

[Night-hawk]

Getting a girlfriend is EASY.

Any moron could do it. Getting a QUALITY girlfriend (i.e. attractive, a decent human being, etc.), well, that is much harder and for some, impossible.

I could go out today, pick up a random ugly fat blob and have a date. After a week or two, I could make it official and embarrass myself, being seen with someone like that in public. So that means little.

Getting someone worthwhile, hell, you'd have a better chance at winning the lottery. Unless you happen to be 6'5", 300 lbs of solid rock muscle, a perfect face, smile and are captain of the football team. Then you're set.

:crackup: at middle paragraph.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I think you are attributing success with females too much on what you say, or the script and confidence. I believe it's more about looks, body language and nonverbals. The nonverbals are still mostly subconscious though, so in a sense it is something you have or don't by adolescence, and it's something even harder to obtain than just having confidence and the "right" script.

But the point is even if you started out with enough confidence and saying the right things, it won't matter much because it's dependent on how you look saying it and how you say it. So you fail using the same script and basic behaviors as the better appearing successful guy. Your confidence understandably takes a hit and you start changing your behaviors and what you say for the worse because that wasn't the problem to begin with.

don't know what to make of that

 

[corrector]

don't know what to make of that

This thread basically reads as an "involuntary celibacy" thread. There are different negative threads on here. It can be categorized in AFC (Average Frustrated Chump), bAFC (Below Average Frustrated Chump), and WbAFC (Way below Average Frustrated Chump). When dealing with a level of wbAFC, or bAFC, then you often hear complaints of how people have missed the boat in having formative romantic experience.

So, you have a thread here where one guy says he gets rejected by women on dates because he has no relationship experience. You get another thread of a guy who never had a gf and he's 29 years old. If we get more threads like this, then this becomes an "involuntary celibacy" board.

If you are incel, or way below average frustrated chump, then what Stageer Lee is saying is all this pick-up BS would be a rip-off or waste of time since we have never been properly socialized to the effect that there could ever be any congruency with any technique that is used.

Now, if you are incel, or wBAFC, there are likely some characteristic that are in common, mainly these:

1) Not considered hot by most women, and even worst when you start losing hair and growing a bald spot.
2) Never had a gf in formative years or was popular with girls in school/high-school. Did not kiss a girl in elementary school.
3) Was bullied or picked on in school.
4) Either live at home, or some poor apartment somewhere having a min-wage job, or nothing really aspiring.

In other words typical traits of a low-status male, incel, wBAFC, or whatever you want to call it. So, the question is can game change anything when you are functioning at a low-status male/incel/wbAFC level?

Stageer Lee things it will not help, and probably make things worst.

 

[VikingKing]

Look I'm better looking than 90% of guys on here. If I show up at a bar, or somewhere I get attention easy. But my game is terrible, because all my life people are nice to me, or trust me, or girls give me attention so easy, but that means I have not developed good game.

Two of my ex girlfriends would sit there and be like, oh your so perfect you dont even have to pluck your eye brows (and i wouldnt thats fag ****) and how perfect my nose is, my eyes are blue, or green, and change.

But guess what, my strength is my weakness. My dad is a good looking man, and he married a beautiful woman.

Dude. Thoughts become things, the first time I a chance I had sex, after my ex which was like a year a go, was 6 months after my ex, I ended up at her parents house on xanax, adderal, and drunk, at 4 am. I met both her parents, and couldn't even get it up, because she was a 3. I was just like eh, I need to sleep, and she hates me lol, cause shes ugly ugh.


You can be ugly, and live in a cardboard box, and a some girls will fvck you.

Looks a lot of times can cause you to lack in inner game, because people think your awsome, because your handsome.

Regardless let it go, work on your innergame, what matters is how you act, looks help, but personality matters the most.

 

[VikingKing]

But some guys who are very good looking have solid game, I would say most good looking guys dont have solid game, because life was to easy, because when your good looking, people treat you better.

Yeah it sucks, but it was it is.

 

[VikingKing]

What it is, what it is, what it is, what it is.

this is sublime, whoa.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Look I'm better looking than 90% of guys on here. If I show up at a bar, or somewhere I get attention easy. But my game is terrible, because all my life people are nice to me, or trust me, or girls give me attention so easy, but that means I have not developed good game.

But what a young and good looking guy doesn't acknowledge is this attention you get from girls easily IS attraction. If females are not giving you attention and aren't attracted to you at sight, then you generally can't create attraction with game. You have to resort to peddling yourself like a door-to-door salesman to girls who are ignoring you. This mostly just lowers value more than low value you already had.

Two of my ex girlfriends would sit there and be like, oh your so perfect you dont even have to pluck your eye brows (and i wouldnt thats fag ****) and how perfect my nose is, my eyes are blue, or green, and change.

More evidence that women notice and place a lot of value on every detail of a guys looks.

But guess what, my strength is my weakness. My dad is a good looking man, and he married a beautiful woman.

No your strength is a strength, and you are getting by despite other weaknesses.

Dude. Thoughts become things, the first time I a chance I had sex, after my ex which was like a year a go, was 6 months after my ex, I ended up at her parents house on xanax, adderal, and drunk, at 4 am. I met both her parents, and couldn't even get it up, because she was a 3. I was just like eh, I need to sleep, and she hates me lol, cause shes ugly ugh.

But without looks you wouldn't even get the 3 or any female.

You can be ugly, and live in a cardboard box, and a some girls will fvck you.

Very doubtful, but what kind of girl would this be?

Looks a lot of times can cause you to lack in inner game, because people think your awsome, because your handsome.

If people thinking you're awesome because of your looks can cause you to lack inner game, then what in the world would happen to your inner game if people thought you were nothing because you weren't good looking lol?

Regardless let it go, work on your innergame, what matters is how you act, looks help, but personality matters the most.

Not really, personality/game helps but looks matter the most. How your game/personality is perceived is dependent on your looks.

 

[zekko]

It's a matter of looks and good social skills - being able to talk to people and being fun. Throw in some status and then you've got something.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

This thread basically reads as an "involuntary celibacy" thread. There are different negative threads on here. It can be categorized in AFC (Average Frustrated Chump), bAFC (Below Average Frustrated Chump), and WbAFC (Way below Average Frustrated Chump). When dealing with a level of wbAFC, or bAFC, then you often hear complaints of how people have missed the boat in having formative romantic experience.

So, you have a thread here where one guy says he gets rejected by women on dates because he has no relationship experience. You get another thread of a guy who never had a gf and he's 29 years old. If we get more threads like this, then this becomes an "involuntary celibacy" board.

If you are incel, or way below average frustrated chump, then what Stageer Lee is saying is all this pick-up BS would be a rip-off or waste of time since we have never been properly socialized to the effect that there could ever be any congruency with any technique that is used.

Now, if you are incel, or wBAFC, there are likely some characteristic that are in common, mainly these:

1) Not considered hot by most women, and even worst when you start losing hair and growing a bald spot.
2) Never had a gf in formative years or was popular with girls in school/high-school. Did not kiss a girl in elementary school.
3) Was bullied or picked on in school.
4) Either live at home, or some poor apartment somewhere having a min-wage job, or nothing really aspiring.

In other words typical traits of a low-status male, incel, wBAFC, or whatever you want to call it. So, the question is can game change anything when you are functioning at a low-status male/incel/wbAFC level?

Stageer Lee things it will not help, and probably make things worst.

yeah, do you think the majority of guys who did not have a girlfriend in high school, not get their first one in high school, the majority of them do not get their first one in college either? also does it depend on whether the guy goes to community college after high school or just 4-year university after high school with dorms?

 

[Ihateinitiatingalot7]

yeah, do you think the majority of guys who did not have a girlfriend in high school, not get their first one in high school, the majority of them do not get their first one in college either? also does it depend on whether the guy goes to community college after high school or just 4-year university after high school with dorms?

That doesn't surprise me