Hello! I have lurked here off and on for a while and thought it was time to register, introduce myself, and start asking questions. My reason for posting is catharsis and an attempt to better myself. The ultimate goal is finding love and being happy. I am worried about anonymity, so some things will be a bit vague. I'll post questions at the end.
Bio---
Me:
I am 26 years old and currently working on getting a Master's Degree (done in 10 months). The program is not too common, so the type is not included here. It is business related, but not an MBA. It isn't an easy field to get into, so I currently am engaged in unpaid internships to build contacts.
Because of this, I am not currently working. Because I am not working, I moved back with my parents to keep bills low. My parents are cool and we don't butt heads.
Physically, I am very attractive, though a bit short (5ft 7). I exercise pretty much every day and have toned muscles. I dress well (possibly too well, people occasionally think I'm gay). I look much better now than I did when I was dating a bit my senior year. For an outside opinion, I mentioned in two separate conversations with my ex and a good female friend (a solid 8 who has a bf) that women don't hit on me very often. My ex replied that they are probably intimidated by my looks and my friend said "It's intimidating to hit on really good-looking people." I don't say these things to brag, mind you, it is just part of my situation. I honestly think it sometimes works against my favor.
Women: I was a late bloomer and never dated at all until my last few years of undergrad. I have always been very shy around girls my age, though generally outgoing with everyone else. My junior year I lost weight, started taking care of my appearance, and in my senior year I finally started hitting on girls a little bit. This resulted in a few dates with some small success, including 2 girls who were bat-**** crazy about me (HB8 and 7). Unfortunately, they were also bat-**** crazy in most other possible ways too.
After graduation, I hooked up with one of my best friends who had recently come out of a very long-term relationship. This was my first girlfriend and first (and currently only) sexual partner. HB8.5. We dated over a year, then split up. It is probable that she wanted out because of my AFC behavior. I needed out badly, anyway, though I care a lot for the girl. She is very self-centered, rather childish (though she is much older than me), and the sex was bad and increasingly rare. I probably stayed around as long as I did due to being afraid I wouldn't find someone else. Neither of us dated anyone for 9 months after our last hookup and, emotionally, we were more or less still dating. She just recently started dating people again and I want to as well. I'm a bit hung up on her still, but I genuinely don't want to get back together. We are still friends, though things are pretty weird.
I have lots of good friends, but few of them have parties or go out to bars. My social life is generally active, but rarely brings me into contact with new women. I am just now trying to reenter the dating scene from essentially square one. Avenues to meet new women are scarce and I haven't been able to get myself to hit on women in public, though recently I have started striking up conversations with some.
Problems: (any input is appreciated)
1) I have pretty severe approach anxiety, but my dating options are largely limited to girls I see in stores and stuff, since my friends don't do bars/parties much. I am actually pretty flirty and outgoing with girls I know a bit or who are my friends. Most people in my Master's program are older and/or married so that doesn't help with meeting girls.
2) The past week I have gone out 3-4 times with the idea that I was going to approach women. In stores, gyms, markets, etc. I have been trying to make eye contact with and smile at virtually every attractive girl I pass (6+), but haven't had much success. Almost every one flicks their gaze up to mine for 1/10 of a second, then looks at the floor while "returning my smile." What the heck do you do about this? Just start up a conversation while they study the floor? By the time I had a few hold eye contact I was so surprised I barely said anything, usually amounting to "hi, having a good workout?" or something similarly vague for other places.
3) What do you think about the living at home thing? I have a great reason for it and it is temporary. Is it a deal breaker? This hasn't come up yet, since I just started trying to get back in there.
4) I am still dealing with AFC tendencies, of course.
Any help with my problems or any other suggestion will be very much appreciated. Responses of TLDR will be understood.
-Aspiring1
Bio---
Me:
I am 26 years old and currently working on getting a Master's Degree (done in 10 months). The program is not too common, so the type is not included here. It is business related, but not an MBA. It isn't an easy field to get into, so I currently am engaged in unpaid internships to build contacts.
Because of this, I am not currently working. Because I am not working, I moved back with my parents to keep bills low. My parents are cool and we don't butt heads.
Physically, I am very attractive, though a bit short (5ft 7). I exercise pretty much every day and have toned muscles. I dress well (possibly too well, people occasionally think I'm gay). I look much better now than I did when I was dating a bit my senior year. For an outside opinion, I mentioned in two separate conversations with my ex and a good female friend (a solid 8 who has a bf) that women don't hit on me very often. My ex replied that they are probably intimidated by my looks and my friend said "It's intimidating to hit on really good-looking people." I don't say these things to brag, mind you, it is just part of my situation. I honestly think it sometimes works against my favor.
Women: I was a late bloomer and never dated at all until my last few years of undergrad. I have always been very shy around girls my age, though generally outgoing with everyone else. My junior year I lost weight, started taking care of my appearance, and in my senior year I finally started hitting on girls a little bit. This resulted in a few dates with some small success, including 2 girls who were bat-**** crazy about me (HB8 and 7). Unfortunately, they were also bat-**** crazy in most other possible ways too.
After graduation, I hooked up with one of my best friends who had recently come out of a very long-term relationship. This was my first girlfriend and first (and currently only) sexual partner. HB8.5. We dated over a year, then split up. It is probable that she wanted out because of my AFC behavior. I needed out badly, anyway, though I care a lot for the girl. She is very self-centered, rather childish (though she is much older than me), and the sex was bad and increasingly rare. I probably stayed around as long as I did due to being afraid I wouldn't find someone else. Neither of us dated anyone for 9 months after our last hookup and, emotionally, we were more or less still dating. She just recently started dating people again and I want to as well. I'm a bit hung up on her still, but I genuinely don't want to get back together. We are still friends, though things are pretty weird.
I have lots of good friends, but few of them have parties or go out to bars. My social life is generally active, but rarely brings me into contact with new women. I am just now trying to reenter the dating scene from essentially square one. Avenues to meet new women are scarce and I haven't been able to get myself to hit on women in public, though recently I have started striking up conversations with some.
Problems: (any input is appreciated)
1) I have pretty severe approach anxiety, but my dating options are largely limited to girls I see in stores and stuff, since my friends don't do bars/parties much. I am actually pretty flirty and outgoing with girls I know a bit or who are my friends. Most people in my Master's program are older and/or married so that doesn't help with meeting girls.
2) The past week I have gone out 3-4 times with the idea that I was going to approach women. In stores, gyms, markets, etc. I have been trying to make eye contact with and smile at virtually every attractive girl I pass (6+), but haven't had much success. Almost every one flicks their gaze up to mine for 1/10 of a second, then looks at the floor while "returning my smile." What the heck do you do about this? Just start up a conversation while they study the floor? By the time I had a few hold eye contact I was so surprised I barely said anything, usually amounting to "hi, having a good workout?" or something similarly vague for other places.
3) What do you think about the living at home thing? I have a great reason for it and it is temporary. Is it a deal breaker? This hasn't come up yet, since I just started trying to get back in there.
4) I am still dealing with AFC tendencies, of course.
Any help with my problems or any other suggestion will be very much appreciated. Responses of TLDR will be understood.
-Aspiring1
