Intimidating?

ManUnited01

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
53
Reaction score
0
Age
36
Have just started a new job at a bar and have been there for about a month. I work there one night a week. Have introduced myself to everyone there and have noticed that nearly every female employee there seems really intimidated to even speak to me. Even just saying "Hi, how are you?" to them, they can't even look me in the eye. They act friendly with all the other lads but seem to act cold with me. Any thoughts why this could be? If any extra information is required for the situation, will gladly provide.
 

Jitterbug

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
3,230
Reaction score
143
Could be your looks. Picture? If you don't want to post one, just ask your friends & family if you look intimidating / scary. Do you smile and appear friendly?

Could simply be that you're a new guy. Some places are very cliquey and it takes a while to break into the group.

I socialize with lots of people via dancing & sports. There are groups that I get into straight away. There are also groups that after a year, it's still damn hard if not impossible to talk to them for a short while. Just the way it is. Provided that you're being your best social self, don't stress too much if they're not being very social towards you.

Btw: Go the Red Devils! I've been waiting nearly a decade for this! My spirit is already in Moscow :D
 

DevanE

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2005
Messages
190
Reaction score
4
...

More than likely your a good looking guy & obviously outgoing which can present some problems for you ESPECIALLY in the work-place. You gotta realize that your a confident hot guy so that causes a lot of insecurities in girls especially the immature ones who ASSUME they have no chance with you what so ever and since your outgoing they automatically ASSUME that your used to getting a lot of attention. So what do they do...? They TRY to cut off what they think you need by ignoring you so you can fight for their validation/attention...that is IF you are truly insecure (which I highly doubt). So they knowingly and willingly do this to mess with you. Trust me I know how you feel because where I used to work previously it was the same way. I would work a shift with someone for 8 hours and they wouldn't even say a word to me no matter how "social" I tried to be to get them to open up however, they would talk to everyone else and say HI to everyone else...eventually I stopped giving a fuk because I realized how toxic, immature and malicious some of these people were.

Of course you can continue to be social and see where it leads you but considering it's a work environment as well...cut-throat competition also plays an integral part in this dynamic depending on what these people are willing to do for competition and how much better you are at what you do. I notice nowadays that most people will not say anything to you EVEN if they have talked to you previously this is especially true with girls because they feel that YOU need to cater to them and that the world revolves around them so keeping that in mind I wouldn't expect too much from these immature people. However, you can always try to be cool with the dudes.

Originally posted by:- Jitterbug

Could simply be that you're a new guy. Some places are very cliquey and it takes a while to break into the group.

I socialize with lots of people via dancing & sports. There are groups that I get into straight away. There are also groups that after a year, it's still damn hard if not impossible to talk to them for a short while. Just the way it is. Provided that you're being your best social self, don't stress too much if they're not being very social towards you.
See I never understood that mentality by some people and I have my doubts about it as well. I feel it's completely and utterly immature and stupid of people who act this way and it's usually those few people who feel the NEED to constantly assert their dominance who feel that it's "their" group. So anyone that's a "threat" automatically is isolated and denied "access". Completely childish if you ask me.

Anyways I'm hoping this gives you a better perspective on your situation and you can decide how you want to proceed about it but I wouldn't trust anyone at that place. :box:
 

ManUnited01

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
53
Reaction score
0
Age
36
Thanks DevanE, that makes a lot of sense. I'm over it now, just don't bother with them anymore. I'm at work to earn money, not make friends. It's their loss if they don't want to know me. I'll reciprocate friendliness but it isn't worth the effort trying with these girls. Look after Number One.
 
Top