Internet dating... once for all

[Don_Marko]

I swear that I'm not totally clueless about women, however I'm getting nowhere on the net. I belive that internet can't beat personal approaches but I still think that it can be a useful tool to your overall game, because all these girls are actually looking for dates and also you don't have to put in so much effort into the whole thing.

But all I got to show for it is one date with a HB6.5, who is somewhat of a nut case

I'm hoping to hear from all the men that have gotten good results on it about general principles/ideas about profiles and first messages.
Could it be that all these online dating things are just one big sausage fest, that it's hard to break away competition? Or do I just suck that badly?

 

[WaterTiger]

I've found the trick is to get them OFF the net & into REAL LIFE as soon as possible. If they won't send you a pic, be careful! She's probably a BBW. After you exchange first names and pictures, ask for a coffee date. The ones who "want to talk a while" are a waste of time.

I've had good luck with Eharmony, their questionaire is like 15 pages long. But it takes a lot of personal ideals, needs and wants into consideration. They usually don;t match you up right away. It takes 24 hours or so. I had so many "matches" it was scary! (It also costa $40.00 a month)

 

[MadeInTheUK]

i'll tell you tomorrow...
got a date with one tonite, that ive messaged on yahoo for about a week, she seems pretty cool.

ive speak to some other chicks from those sites, but none of them really want to meet, they just want to talk and stuff... so i just use them to practise chattin up when im bored.

 

[Austin Allegro]

See other posts on this, but Watertiger is right, you have to get them off the net and into 'real life' as soon as possible. Don't go for profiles without a pic, unless you really like the sound of them and if so, ask for a pic. Swap a few emails then number close. Don't have long IM conversations etc. Don't set up a big date, just a coffee/beer etc so you can make a dash for it if she turns out to be awful.


I've had limited success with online dating - about 4 ONS out of about 40 dates. I think most of the women on it have a 'checklist' mentality, and most of the really attractive women seem to be rather flakey.

 

[DEKKA]

feel her boobies

 

[MadeInTheUK]

Originally posted by DEKKA
feel her boobies

will do matey!....why bother with the formality of shaking hands?!

 

[Don_Marko]

I appreciate your responses gentlemen, but uhm... I've sent over zillions of smiles and tons of mail messages, yet NOTHING except that one date. See I'm sure that I would have no problem working it once we establish contact, but I haven't been able to get that past that first hurdle. Therefore it must be one of the three things:
1)Profile 2)Context of the first Message or 3)My picture

Therefore I need clues about first two, that is unless any of you are a good plastic surgeon
I've only tried lavalife but now I'm begining to think that I should diversify a bit

 

[DEKKA]

the absolute best way to score with chicks over the internet is to pick them up at the park, the supermarket, the campus, the bookstore and the starbucks.

 

[Disco]

I agree. I've only contacted one girl from the web. I was killing time at work at hor or not and i saw this girl from nearby and she said "someone that can make me laugh is always a good thing". I figure wth? Got her, we im'd a little, sent some emails. This has been going on for about a month now...she has been interning.

I number closed and we've had about three conversations. She has called me one time out of the three. Everytime we talk she trys to sale herself more. She's pretty much told me that she's ritch. Two cars, etc. She's 24. I put it out there that we should do something next weekend. Now I will take all attention away and see how serious she is.

 

[Austin Allegro]

You have to put in just as much effort with internet dating as you do in real life.

The ONLY advantage of internet dating is that you get a large number of potentials in one place to be contacted when it suits you, and you can filter out those you are not attracted to a bit more easily.

What you have to remember is there are zillions of AFCs on the net after the women. I have spoken to a lot of women online and all the ones that are 6 or above get BOMBARDED with emails from men, which only serves to make them MORE flakey and picky than they were in the first place.

All you can do is make sure you have a good pic, and a C&F, breezy profile that looks fun and interesting. Then you just have to trawl the profiles and send out similarly breezy emails. Your success rate WILL be low - when I did it I averaged about 1-2 responses for every ten women emailed. Of those usually 1 would flake before or after I number closed.

 

[racerX]

Its a numbers game. The more profiles you respond to, the better your chances are at dating/success. Most average girls on an internet website get 5-10 emails a day, if there hot they can get 10-50 emails a day. They simply dont have the time to sort through all the guys. Make your emails stand out from the crowd. The weird thing about internet dating for me is that i am still seeing the same chicks looking for guys that i saw in the same website 1 or 2 years ago. Makes me wonder if there just fake pics to get people to join & spend $$$ or maybe they are real pics & these girls are just trying to get a bunch of free dinners. There are 3 girls in yahoo personals that i went out w/ on one date each a year ago & their still in there. I find it hard to beleive that they havent met a bf by now...

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by Austin Allegro

All you can do is make sure you have a good pic, and a C&F, breezy profile that looks fun and interesting. Then you just have to trawl the profiles and send out similarly breezy emails. Your success rate WILL be low

Nicely put Austin, breezy is a good word to describe it. Thanks. I'm gonna put more work into the whole thing. My profile wasn't the greatest, since I didn't put a lot of effort into it.

Originally posted by racerX

Most average girls on an internet website get 5-10 emails a day, if there hot they can get 10-50 emails a day. They simply dont have the time to sort through all the guys. Make your emails stand out from the crowd. The weird thing about internet dating for me is that i am still seeing the same chicks looking for guys that i saw in the same website 1 or 2 years ago. Makes me wonder if there just fake pics to get people to join & spend $$$ or maybe they are real pics & these girls are just trying to get a bunch of free dinners.

I would have to agree with this as well, a lot of nice looking chicks have been on that site forever. So somebody has to be fvcking around, either the company or the chick. Maybe it's time to turn off the computer and crank up the DJ magic and go out into action!
But can't just give up yet.

Good luck Disco... if she's that loaded consider marrying and then split with half her money.

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by Austin Allegro

All you can do is make sure you have a good pic, and a C&F, breezy profile that looks fun and interesting. Then you just have to trawl the profiles and send out similarly breezy emails. Your success rate WILL be low

Nicely put Austin, breezy is a good word to describe it. Thanks. I'm gonna put more work into the whole thing. My profile wasn't the greatest, since I didn't put a lot of effort into it.

Originally posted by racerX

Most average girls on an internet website get 5-10 emails a day, if there hot they can get 10-50 emails a day. They simply dont have the time to sort through all the guys. Make your emails stand out from the crowd. The weird thing about internet dating for me is that i am still seeing the same chicks looking for guys that i saw in the same website 1 or 2 years ago. Makes me wonder if there just fake pics to get people to join & spend $$$ or maybe they are real pics & these girls are just trying to get a bunch of free dinners.

I would have to agree with this as well, a lot of nice looking chicks have been on that site forever. So somebody has to be fvcking around, either the company or the chick. Maybe it's time to turn off the computer and crank up the DJ magic and go out into action!
But can't just give up yet.

Good luck Disco... if she's that loaded consider marrying and then split with half her money.

 

[mamefan77]

Originally posted by Don_Marko
I would have to agree with this as well, a lot of nice looking chicks have been on that site forever. So somebody has to be fvcking around, either the company or the chick.

Ya know, I really don't think it's the company thats messin around --- it's just the fact that the hot chicks on the net have become ULTRA picky.

I mean think about it --- If u were gettin emails from 40-50 chicks a day, wouldn't u just lay back with the attitude "I'll just chill until something totally awesome comes along" ???

It pisses me off --- I have wanted to write to some of these girls I've seen that have been on the sites for MONTHS and say

"What's a matter sweetheart?? What in the h*ll are u searching for?"

 

[WaterTiger]

Hey Don Marko~

Why don't you post your 'profile" and let us help you tweak it so that is different and more alluring?

I swear if I see one more "I'm looking for a woman who's beautiful on the inside to share moonlight walks on the beach, candle lit dinner and quiet times in front of a fire..." I'm going to throw up!

 

[alboh]

I've met 3 girls off hotornot, and in my experience with younger girls on dating sites generally fall into one of three categories:

1) UGs, single moms (not that I think they're undateable, but they have a harder time in the real world), and girls with baggage (look out for "no players" and "no head games" in their profiles).

2) Hot girls who are very promiscuous (date #1 HB9 had slept with about 20 guys, date #3 HB8 probably around 10).

3) Hot girls who will never meet you in real life. They only want to amass a small army of guys on MSN to drool over them and pay them compliments.

Also photos don't always show what the girl really looks like. Girl #2 sent me two full-body shots in which she looked spectacular, and when she showed up for the date she had acquired an extra chin Turns out the photos were 2 years old.

Best way to weed out the flakes is to treat it like the equivalent of chatting a girl up at a bar for a few minutes and getting her number. Exchange a couple of e-mails and then ask for the number.

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by WaterTiger
Hey Don Marko~

Why don't you post your 'profile" and let us help you tweak it so that is different and more alluring?

I swear if I see one more "I'm looking for a woman who's beautiful on the inside to share moonlight walks on the beach, candle lit dinner and quiet times in front of a fire..." I'm going to throw up!

Great idea Tiger... but you should have given me some credit! (I don't like to have moonlight walk on beach... I like moonlight sex on the beach!)

Ok this is an example of a profile that DOES NOT work:


Hi... Since I smiled at you I must admit that you are either really hot or really intriguing, most likely both!

Since summer is here I'm in my hometown (as opposed to my college town) so since I left most of my good friends I'm just looking for an easy going, no pressure, fun and friendly kind of relationship around the hometown area. Generally in relationships I'm a strong beliver in realize that we all have our lives and it's very important not to be suffocating them, unless you are sharing something very special which is unlikely to be found so young.

Who am I? A blue eyed gazer at the universe, a prick, a sweetheart, a best friend or the dude you love to hate. All depends....


Ok now lemme walk you trough it,
1) Start with a compliment (I'm expecting to hear a big NOOOO about this one)
2) What do I want (let it known that I like being laid back, i'm not clingy and girls love summer romances)
3) Who am I (my goal is naturally to confuse them and hopefully intrigue them, it basically says that what I can be depends on the way she is to me and that I won't put up with bullshyte)

Not breezy enough, not cool enough? I dunno, hit me with your hardest shot gentlemen!

 

[alboh]

Here are my thoughts on your profile..

Hi... Since I smiled at you I must admit that you are either really hot or really intriguing, most likely both! ((too complimentary, I think. You should go for C&F over outright flattery))

Since summer is here I'm in my hometown (as opposed to my college town) so since I left most of my good friends ((might want to leave this out, implies you have no friends and are needly)) I'm just ((take out just, sounds defensive/shy)) looking for an easy going, no pressure, fun and friendly kind of relationship around the hometown area ((don't SAY this, imply that you are an easy going/no pressure person in your words/actions, if you actually are that is)). Generally in relationships I'm a strong beliver in realize that we all have our lives and it's very important not to be suffocating them, unless you are sharing something very special which is unlikely to be found so young. ((too serious...you're supposed to be just joking around right now...leave you philosophizin' for when she's attracted to you (like when you're on a real date)))

Who am I? A blue eyed gazer at the universe ((CORRRRRRNY and fake)), a prick, a sweetheart, a best friend or the dude you love to hate. All depends.... ((once again, you shouldn't be SAYING this to her, it sounds like that's your plan.))


Just my opinion. Take it or leave it.

Here's mine, seems to work pretty well:

My name's *******, poli sci student at Concordia, but back in Toronto for the summer. Hello to all my fellow sham artists and phony intellectuals out there! By the way I look way less nerdy with my glasses off, I swear.

Sham artists/phony intellectuals is a jab at all these fake guys who try to pass themselves off as geniuses/brilliant artists/etc. I figure after flipping through a few dozen of those, mine comes across as something different.

And yes the last sentence may seem self-depreciating, but I have a high-rated photo so I get alot of girls sending me messages going "actually I think they look sexy" etc

 

[Austin Allegro]

All good points. Some more thoughts:

Fake pics.

I've found the free dating sites like love@lycos are riddled with fake pics, mostly from men pretending to be bi-women. Easily spotted most of the time.

Pics that are there for ages:

Sadly it's true that these women are, or have become, ultra picky or just spoiled for choice.

Profiles without pics.

By all means approach these but only if you like the sound of the person in the profile. After a couple of emails say they sound interesting and you'd like a pic to get an idea in your head of what they look like. I did this about five times and never got turned down. If they refuse, don't contact them again.

Misleading pics.

Be wary of pics that are blurred, hazy, or don't show the full figure. Be VERY wary of those pictures that are taken by shopping centre photographers (you know, the ones that charge £200 and say they will make you look like a movie star). You can always tell these, they are in soft focus, gently lit and with a blue marbled background, with the woman gazing off camera and wearing an off the shoulder dress, usually with her hair up.

Your pic.

Women will mostly judge you on your pic, so get a good one taken but don't do any of the misleading things shown above. If you post one that shows you slightly under your best, when she meets you she will be pleasantly surprised.

Your profile.

Alboh's is pretty good. Gently making fun of other profiles (not by name) works well because it relieves the tension a lot of women feel about AFCs approaching them. Just show that you have a great world and that you want someone worthwhile to invite in. Don't act needy or 'romantic'.

 

[racerX]

match.com is a ripoff!

I did the yahoo personals for 3 months & went on 7 dates total. Most of the dates went o.k. Nothing special. I joined Match.com to see what it was like. This has to be some type of bullsh1t scam. The profiles that are listed state the length of time the chick was last active on match.com. Most say "active within 1 week". But around half state "active within 3 months". These girls arent even active paying members. They will not receive my message. They will get an email from match that says "a subscriber is interested in you" & thats it. Trying to convince them to join. My point is it should only show active members. Its deceiving to new members like me. Out of the 54 chicks that i saw that were interesting, only about 1/2 were recent, active members. So that leaves around 25. Out of that 25, i only got a response from 2 of them after being a member for 2 weeks. I can almost bet $$$ that match.com gets photos of average & good looking girls, makes up a phoney profile & posts it. It would get alot more dudes to join & they could do this easily & it wouldnt cost them anything except some time. I think there is alot of fraud going on in internet dating pay websites. I am convinced that most of these chicks dont even exist. I had better luck w/ yahoo. Match.com is $25 a month. I think i should try some cold approaches. Internet dating sux.