Interested in your opinions....

[Rubirosa]

So last weekend I had a first (blind) date with a very glamourous, financially well off Japanese woman....
I could tell that she thought I was attractive and also that she felt comfortable with me as she agreed to go for a ride with me in my sportscar (we had initially met at a Coffee Bean).
We had a nice drive up in the hills,and a short time later I decided to make a stop at a pretty place. We get out and a few moments later I take her in my arms and go for the kiss...She pulls away and says that she doesn't kiss on the first date...I initially decided to go to kiss her because she kept touching my shoulder on the drive and seemed quite at ease with me. There was also another reason...She lives an hour away and my usual patience was not up driving all that way just for a second date just to get a kiss......
I shrugged off my rebuffed attempt and continued with the date like nothing happened....
A short time later I tried again, but at this point my enthusiasm for the whole thing was starting to wane.....
We had a short, spirited discussion regarding my actions, and I basically was not apologetic, but rather...."This is me, but I totally understand that whether you want to do something with me or not is your perogative, so there's no worries on my end......"
At this point, I had to end the date because one of my girlfriends was coming over to my house that afternoon.
I dropped her off and mentioned that I was going to a party the next day where some Japanese people were going to be guests, and so I was inviting her....However, the party was quite far from where she lived....
She seemed interested but didn't commit. We said our goodbyes and I was off...
An hour later, I get a text "Nice meeting you, won't make it to the party, have a great day !"
I responded with something like "OK. But I would like to see you again, I'll call you sometime..."
No reponse text from her.....
I figure, .............."Next !!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Today, I wanted to find a book from a Japanese store, but I was having trouble because the person on the phone had limited English and my Japanese is not very good.
I decided to call my blind date girl to see if she would do me the favor of calling and ordering the book for me. I realize that a call for a random favor might put me in the "stalker" category, but I didn't care for some reason.....
She didn't answer the phone, so I left a message detailing the favor I was seeking and hung up. I figure by this point she's getting ready to block my number....
A few hours later she calls back !!! However, I had a chick in the next room, so I rushed through the conversation and blew her off. I told her that I had subsequently found out that the book was sold out anyway and had to be ordered from Japan (Which was the truth).
Should I invest more effort, or do ya think she was just being sincerely nice about possibly doing the favor ? I was VERY surprised she called back !

 

[jglide123]

Wow. Sounds like you scared her off, and she's merely being polite, perhaps out of respect for the person who set you guys up on the blind date. Nothing wrong with making a move if the vibe is there, but when girls say they don't kiss on the first date, some of them actually mean it. Some girls are not playing hard to get, but sincerely want to get to know a guy before any intimate contact, even a kiss, is made. Old-fashion girls, while rare, are still out there.

Also, what does "We had a short, spirited discussion regarding my actions, and I basically was not apologetic" mean? Not to be a butt hole, but given the context that sounds like a precursor to rape. Watch almost any random episode of the old Law & Order T.V. show for references. And further, you seem like you're not looking for anything serious (you had another girl coming over later that evening), so why waste time on a girl who, from what you've written, doesn't seem interested, at least in quick hook ups? You already have chicks in your life, so why not just forget about this girl. You win some, you lose some. That's life.

And the whole book story sounds apocryphal. Couldn't you just order the book online and avoid the whole language barrier situation? Even rare, limited-edition books can be found on the internet.

Again, not to be a douche, but the whole story seems a bit strange....

 

[backbreaker]

Wow. Sounds like you scared her off, and she's merely being polite, perhaps out of respect for the person who set you guys up on the blind date. Nothing wrong with making a move if the vibe is there, but when girls say they don't kiss on the first date, some of them actually mean it. Some girls are not playing hard to get, but sincerely want to get to know a guy before any intimate contact, even a kiss, is made. Old-fashion girls, while rare, are still out there.

Also, what does "We had a short, spirited discussion regarding my actions, and I basically was not apologetic" mean? Not to be a butt hole, but given the context that sounds like a precursor to rape. Watch almost any random episode of the old Law & Order T.V. show for references. And further, you seem like you're not looking for anything serious (you had another girl coming over later that evening), so why waste time on a girl who, from what you've written, doesn't seem interested, at least in quick hook ups? You already have chicks in your life, so why not just forget about this girl. You win some, you lose some. That's life.

And the whole book story sounds apocryphal. Couldn't you just order the book online and avoid the whole language barrier situation? Even rare, limited-edition books can be found on the internet.

Again, not to be a douche, but the whole story seems a bit strange....

i think you are very wrong and i don't particuarly see what he did wrong.

the guy went in for a kiss. the kiss is the ultimate interest gauger. that's a must for me. if a woman does not like me enough to kiss me on the frst date i might as well delete the number. even more, if she is so.... whatever... that she doesn't' kiss on the first date, you know what her and i aren't going to be very comptable. it goes back to trying to negotiate attraction.

you know what, i could even understand ifs he just didn't want have lip locking contest with you and preferred to keep it at a simple mouth mouth kiss for now, i can understand no sex on the first date, I have that rule for myself.. but no kissing at all. i'm out on that. and she tried to shame him on it nad he called her bluff.

this reeks of some woman who has read one too many cosmo articles telling her "how to have your man dying to have you" or some crap like that and is letting a magazine or something like that negotiate her attraction. because i gather she is interested in you but just for no reason doesn't kiss you. doesn't add up. that to me is the biggest red flag of all. you want to get 2-3-6 months into a relationship and she starts doing unexplained stupid **** beucase an artile told her this was the way to have him go crazy over you?

a man should never walk on egg shells when it comes to this type of stuff. you can't win em all, and i'm out on driving an hour to get hand holds lol.

i'd honestly just move on.

 

[jglide123]

i think you are very wrong and i don't particuarly see what he did wrong.

the guy went in for a kiss. the kiss is the ultimate interest gauger. that's a must for me. if a woman does not like me enough to kiss me on the frst date i might as well delete the number. even more, if she is so.... whatever... that she doesn't' kiss on the first date, you know what her and i aren't going to be very comptable. it goes back to trying to negotiate attraction.

you know what, i could even understand ifs he just didn't want have lip locking contest with you and preferred to keep it at a simple mouth mouth kiss for now, i can understand no sex on the first date, I have that rule for myself.. but no kissing at all. i'm out on that. and she tried to shame him on it nad he called her bluff.

this reeks of some woman who has read one too many cosmo articles telling her "how to have your man dying to have you" or some crap like that and is letting a magazine or something like that negotiate her attraction. because i gather she is interested in you but just for no reason doesn't kiss you. doesn't add up. that to me is the biggest red flag of all. you want to get 2-3-6 months into a relationship and she starts doing unexplained stupid **** beucase an artile told her this was the way to have him go crazy over you?

a man should never walk on egg shells when it comes to this type of stuff. you can't win em all, and i'm out on driving an hour to get hand holds lol.

i'd honestly just move on.

I'm very wrong? In what way? For suggesting that he move on, when he went for the kiss twice and got rejected?

Silly, silly me....

If you read my post in full (which it's clear that you didn't), I said that there is nothing wrong with going for a kiss. Some women really do have standards that they adhere to (not simply advice that they read from a Cosmo magazine).

 

[Rubirosa]

Wow. Sounds like you scared her off, and she's merely being polite, perhaps out of respect for the person who set you guys up on the blind date. Nothing wrong with making a move if the vibe is there, but when girls say they don't kiss on the first date, some of them actually mean it. Some girls are not playing hard to get, but sincerely want to get to know a guy before any intimate contact, even a kiss, is made. Old-fashion girls, while rare, are still out there.

Also, what does "We had a short, spirited discussion regarding my actions, and I basically was not apologetic" mean? Not to be a butt hole, but given the context that sounds like a precursor to rape. Watch almost any random episode of the old Law & Order T.V. show for references. And further, you seem like you're not looking for anything serious (you had another girl coming over later that evening), so why waste time on a girl who, from what you've written, doesn't seem interested, at least in quick hook ups? You already have chicks in your life, so why not just forget about this girl. You win some, you lose some. That's life.

And the whole book story sounds apocryphal. Couldn't you just order the book online and avoid the whole language barrier situation? Even rare, limited-edition books can be found on the internet.

Again, not to be a douche, but the whole story seems a bit strange....

Your response is a tad offensive, but then again, it's my fault for not filling in the holes of the story (No pun intended).
First, you have NO idea how many times I've been successful at a second attempt for a first date kiss after the first one was rejected. Countless times.
The "short spirited conversation" was basically her saying something akin to "Wow your'e pretty straightforward aren't you ?" and me not denying that. How you make the connection with that and foricibly having sex with her against her will is a little much. Maybe I should watch more TV to get a better understanding of life huh ?
I already had looked on the internet, ordering books from Japan is an expensive and lenthy process, I heard that the store might have it, and I still harbored fantasies of banging this new one, so this was one last excuse to make contact.
For the record, I banged TWO chicks later that same day of my date.....

 

[Rubirosa]

, and she's merely being polite, perhaps out of respect for the person who set you guys up on the blind date.QUOTE]
The internet is not a person...........................................

 

[Rubirosa]

a man should never walk on egg shells when it comes to this type of stuff. you can't win em all, and i'm out on driving an hour to get hand holds lol.

i'd honestly just move on.

This was my exact attitude. If she lived really close, I wouldn't even push for a kiss, but this date had already taken some serious time commitment. I was ready to move on, but her call back really surprised me..........

 

[jglide123]

Your response is a tad offensive, but then again, it's my fault for not filling in the holes of the story (No pun intended).
First, you have NO idea how many times I've been successful at a second attempt for a first date kiss after the first one was rejected. Countless times.
The "short spirited conversation" was basically her saying something akin to "Wow your'e pretty straightforward aren't you ?" and me not denying that. How you make the connection with that and foricibly having sex with her against her will is a little much. Maybe I should watch more TV to get a better understanding of life huh ?
I already had looked on the internet, ordering books from Japan is an expensive and lenthy process, I heard that the store might have it, and I still harbored fantasies of banging this new one, so this was one last excuse to make contact.
For the record, I banged TWO chicks later that same day of my date.....

Well, you're right bro. I have no clue how successful you have been kissing girls after fist being rejected. That makes sense, seeing as how I don't know you! And if you've been so successful at it in the past, why ask a bunch of random guys on a forum whether or nor the chick you went out with is worth pursuing further? why not let experience be your guide?

Had you included those details, and described the overall date in greater detail, then I wouldn't have assumed the worst. But try reading your original post from the perspective of someone who doesn't know you, or how much of a ladies man you clearly are, and you would see how the story came off, at least to me, a tad bit strange.

But hey, if you banged those two chicks, I guess that makes you the man!:rockon:

 

[jglide123]

So last weekend I had a first (blind) date with a very glamourous, financially well off Japanese woman....

Details are your friend bro. When you say you went on a blind date, most people automatically assume a mutual friend set you two up...or perhaps that's just me.....

Silly, silly me.....

 

[Rubirosa]

Well, you're right bro. I have no clue how successful you have been kissing girls after fist being rejected. That makes sense, seeing as how I don't know you! And if you've been so successful at it in the past, why ask a bunch of random guys on a forum whether or nor the chick you went out with is worth pursuing further? why not let experience be your guide?

Had you included those details, and described the overall date in greater detail, then I wouldn't have assumed the worst. But try reading your original post from the perspective of someone who doesn't know you, or how much of a ladies man you clearly are, and you would see how the story came off, at least to me, a tad bit strange.

But hey, if you banged those two chicks, I guess that makes you the man!:rockon:

I do have lots of experience (HARD, PAINFULLY LEARNED), and was basically done with the whole thing, except for her calling back, which in my experience, is very unusual given the preceding events.
If I go out with her again, I promise to update it on this thread

 

[DMEDFISIK]

As a counterpoint, there are girls I didn't kiss on the first date, however we ended up getting it on later. Some of these girls turned out to be very fun.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Dude I would try and schedule another meetup..make another move..i mean u could consider it a loss of ur time at most..if she rejects than yes you've wasted your time, but she wouldn't call you back if you were a creep--if she takes you up on another invite to spend time you might want to take another go

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Rubirosa,
A Japanese Girl touches you?I would say London to a brick you are in like Flynn...they are different to us they move very,very slowly....remember dignity and face are the big deal with them....surprised if she doesn't respond on the book,that would be impolite and they are never thus...something you may not know,Oriental women are not big on kissing....I think it is the poor level of dental hygiene,take it from me she will let you park your pepper grinder before she ever becomes comfortable with kissing.

 

[Viagra4Soul]

I agree somewhat with my Antipodean cousin above - you're more likely to get laid before she ever properly lip locks you. Japanese women are a different breed.

I've lived there and had a Japanese girlfriend for years (one of my students at the time). Nothing we consider 'conventional' is in their makeup when it comes to dating.

If you want it, you're gonna have to be patient. Play all sorts of 'nice'... and don't think that playing hard to get will get you anywhere at all. Depends of course on how long she has been out of Japan though.

To me, they're not worth it, but that's me. Good luck to you.

 

[Rubirosa]

Hi Guys,
For the record, I do have some experience with Japanese women. Not Japanese-American women, but recent FOBS (excuse the expression). One I slept with on the first date, the other I kissed on the second date and slept with on the 4th date (When I first met her, I went to kiss her cheek and she freaked and turned her head, so I ended up with a mouthful of hair).
Bottom line is that I simply wanted to add this one to the bullpen, I'm not gonna freak out if she doesn't repond.
(Scara-Was the pepper grinder referrence a tribute to Rubirosa ?)

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Rubirirosa,
"(Scara-Was the pepper grinder referrence a tribute to Rubirosa)"
Aw Shucks Ruby Baby,you being modest again? Maybe you are interested,The only Jap I ever made love to,had a very sensitive neck,particularly the nape.