Inexperienced with women. Have a second date with girl at my place. Tips.

[Kal0051]

So the girl that I thought wasn't interested agreed to hang out again. I suggested dinner and a movie at my place, which she didn't have a problem with. Anyway, I can handle the dinner just fine but would like to get/keep this girl interested. Maybe even take the physical escalation further (so far I've only kissed her). Since I'm pretty inexperienced with this I thought I'd get any tips you guys could give me. Thanks.

Oh, and I'm aware she could flake but I'm remaining positive that she won't.

 

[sharkbeat]

Keep in mind that it's not doing the right thing that it's about doing things right.

Keep your frame and cool at all time and have fun.

Treat it like 'hanging out', and kino whenever you have the chance.

Don't wait for the right time, but create it. For example, if you have to skip a movie because escalating seems to be a better option, then escalate.

 

[f283000]

Remember 1 thing. No woman agrees to go on a man's house and be alone with him for a date if she is not attracted to him/isn't expecting him to make a move which could lead to sex. When a woman goes to a man's house she is going with the knowledge that anything can happen. However it is up to the man to make things happen and if she goes to your house to be alone with you on a date she is hoping for you to do something.

Don't put pressure on yourself by thinking about sex. Kiss her and then take it from there that's what you need to do.

 

[SmoothTalker]

In most cases a woman coming over to your house alone to 'hang out' is expecting at least some action, as others have mentioned.

Obviously don't rape her, but you have a pretty open invitation to try and make a move, in fact she'd probably be confused and annoyed if you didn't try anything ( I learned the hard way..)

I'll leave the actual escalation steps for someone else to cover because it's almost 3am and I have school tomorrow morning..

 

[DonJuan11]

In most cases a woman coming over to your house alone to 'hang out' is expecting at least some action, as others have mentioned.

Obviously don't rape her, but you have a pretty open invitation to try and make a move, in fact she'd probably be confused and annoyed if you didn't try anything ( I learned the hard way..)

Good Call about not raping her. It wouldn't turn her on to much, not to mention it's AGAINST THE LAW.

 

[ATP]

If you get her over to your place then you're pretty much set really. A few points though.

Try not to be too forward at the start. Let her feel comfortable at your place before you start heating things up. Apply more kino gradually. Get some sexual inyourendo in when the rapport is good

Oh and movies can be a gold mine for kino. Haha.. I don't say you should yawn and then accidentaly put your arm around her, it works too btw^^, but watching a movie is a lot more fun with some close contact. I bet women think this too if she is interested in a guy.

Yeah, and go to the gym.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

Here's my advice. And it might sound contradictory to what other posts have said.

Yes, a woman will not go over to your house if sex is out of the question.
If you are at all smooth then you will get some sort of action.


However, if you have any doubt that you'll be able to escalate then do not do this. When she shows up, grab your keys and take her out.

Why? Because I don't think anything will turn a woman off faster than a guy who can't close the deal in these situations. Unless she has super high IL you run a real risk of getting the friend zone or simply never hearing from her again.

 

[Ease]

However, if you have any doubt that you'll be able to escalate then do not do this. When she shows up, grab your keys and take her out.

I agree, if things are getting extremely awkward or you find yourself brushing her hair and painting her toenails- then gtfo.

She is definitely expecting some action. Might not have to be sex, but she is basically advertising that she is ok with you putting your hand in her pants. At least.

Watch how soon she takes off her shoes. A girl interested in quick action and comfortable will take her shoes off quickly. Apparently. Post results and report.

 

[Kailex]

Please, PLEASE, PLEASE!

Do NOT make the mistake I ONCE did with a girl.
I told myself THIS after bringing a girl to my house:

"I'm going to be different than all the other guys that just want to bang her. I'm going to be good and just makeout and she'll see that I treat her special and want me even MORE."

Boy was I wrong.

After that night we spent together NOT having sex, we never went out again.

A few months later, I found SoSuave and it ALL made sense. And that night was my last night ever as a total AFC.

Now I subscribe to the "EJECT THEORY".
Basically, if she accepts the invitation to your house, GAME ON. You escalate throughout the night. If she stops you once... cool off a little, and try again. If she stops you again and even more so defiantly than the first time... EJECT.

Do what Ease said: Get the keys and tell her you two should go out somewhere else instead. EJECT.

Why? Because if she rejects you twice, you'll probably just sit there, with your head down and ruin your whole evening.

Does this girl drink? Of course, I am not an advocate of liquoring up a girl just to take advantage of her, but it can HELP to loosen her up just a little bit as well. Remember, she's probably nervous as hell because she's coming into YOUR territory on the second date and doesn't know what YOU are going to do... but she sure as hell knows what you WANT to do. It's just a matter of how you get from point A to point B. She already knows what Point B is, so do you, but you're going to have to work a little to get there... and if getting to Point B isn't happening or the road is a little TOO rocky... EJECT and show her that it doesn't faze you and that you can still have fun no matter what.

 

[Kailex]

PHAT, on the regular... I would have said everything you said...

But the problem is that the situation is different (I Believe) when it comes to Kal. (No knock on you Kal, and no offense...)

But if I've kept up with him so far on the forums, I'm pretty sure that he's at the age of 25 and is still a virgin (correct me if I am wrong, PLEASE)...

So the sense of pressure he'll probably feel is MAYBE a little different than it would be for anyone else on just ANY second date trying to score. If he gets denied twice or even three times, his thought process just might not be the same as mine would be.

I just don't want him to come across as a rapist with his increased persistence.

Again, this could be an instance in which I am partially wrong with the EJECT theory and it could end up working for him to persist, but I think back at what my mentality was like when I was a virgin and it's definitely different than what it was maybe, 2 years after?

But the thing I'm sure EVERYONE here will agree is that... if she DOES turn down your advances, do NOT let her SEE that reaction from you. You'll just come across as a little child throwing a silent temper tantrum, pouting lips and all.

More importantly though Kal... HAVE FUN, as Phat mentioned.
This is ALL a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

Just a week ago you were telling us you were unmotivated and now you're on a second date!!!

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

My best tip is to just let it flow. You're inexperienced and its your fault. You have been here for a year and you're still inexperienced ? Keyboard jock.

But anyway, im going to give you two simple tips.

Visualize everything. The date, the conversation, the kino going on. Every tiny detail. Fix things in your mind the way you want them to go and see them couple times by visualizing and when the moment comes, just relive it.

But i bet you're not satisfied without an outer game tip.

The cuddle challenge

You simply cuddle together on the bed while watching a movie. Just cuddle with her, breathe on her neck, play with her hairs, touch her body and let the chemistry build. Than you can take it from there. Hopefully.

 

[Commandante]

However, if you have any doubt that you'll be able to escalate then do not do this. When she shows up, grab your keys and take her out.

Good advice mate!

If I were you, I would cook something alone, what I simply can put in the fridge. When she shows up, I would grab my keys and take her out, but for some kind of activity-date, which means playing billiard, bowling, whatever YOU like and she can accept. You will be in your confort zone, so you can start with C&F, push and pull, kino, and after that if you get hungry you can drop by at your place, eat, drink, etc. If she follows you to your place after the activity-date, with 99.9% probability you have her in your bed.

Good luck!

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

You will be in your confort zone,

so he can remain a chump forever. Not plowing through his comfort zone brought him to this situation in the first place.

He's one year in sosuave (god knows how long he has been lurking) and is still inexperienced because he plays within the comfort zone.

That's what pisses me off. All this advice, all these field reports, all this motivation that we try to give and people just pick up the theory and continue their own mediocre life.They don't take any action because they don't want to ruin their pretty little princess world. This really pisses me off.

 

[Rescue Mission]

You got it all wrong KAL0051!

It should be "drinks and a movie" at your place.

Save the dinners for girls you've already banged

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

so he can remain a chump forever. Not plowing through his comfort zone brought him to this situation in the first place.

He's one year in sosuave (god knows how long he has been lurking) and is still inexperienced because he plays within the comfort zone.

That's what pisses me off. All this advice, all these field reports, all this motivation that we try to give and people just pick up the theory and continue their own mediocre life.They don't take any action because they don't want to ruin their pretty little princess world. This really pisses me off.

There is a difference between pushing your comfort zone and being entirely out of your element.

You have to push your comfort zone to improve. No doubt about it.

But sometimes you simply need to live to fight another day.

He can push his comfort zone out of the house with kissing and kino.
Chances are nothing he can do will immediately end his chances (she seems to have okay IL.)

However, failing to escalate properly in a situation where escalation is expected is pretty much a game over.

You gotta start some where. If he's really that inexperienced you can't expect him to be an all star just pushing his comfort zone. Not because he's inexperienced but because he's worried he's inexperienced.

 

[Kal0051]

Thanks for the tips guys. However I think I'm sensing a flake here. Call her earlier today when I knew she wouldn't be at work so I could give her directions to my place, no answer. Left a simple message asking her to call me back and so far no call back after 7 hours. So just sent a text saying to give me a call so I could give her directions. If I hear from her tomorrow than great, but otherwise I'll assume she's not interested and delete her number. But the tips are appreciated, maybe I'll be able to apply them with another girl sometime soon.

 

[Commandante]

so he can remain a chump forever.

In my opinion a chump will invite the chick to his place for eating and watching TV, because that is his comfort zone nr. 1. Going out and having an active date is already a step into the right direction. Not calling and sendig textes 3 times a day would be step 0...

 

[Kal]

In my opinion a chump will invite the chick to his place for eating and watching TV, because that is his comfort zone nr. 1. Going out and having an active date is already a step into the right direction. Not calling and sendig textes 3 times a day would be step 0...

we've already had a action date. I invited her over for 2 reasons. One, because I'm a little broke this week. And two, so I could escalate something.

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

There is a difference between pushing your comfort zone and being entirely out of your element.

You have to push your comfort zone to improve. No doubt about it.

But sometimes you simply need to live to fight another day.

He can push his comfort zone out of the house with kissing and kino.
Chances are nothing he can do will immediately end his chances (she seems to have okay IL.)

However, failing to escalate properly in a situation where escalation is expected is pretty much a game over.

You gotta start some where. If he's really that inexperienced you can't expect him to be an all star just pushing his comfort zone. Not because he's inexperienced but because he's worried he's inexperienced.

Well, he gotta start get used to the idea of bringing girls home and banging them. And how do you get used to it ? By avoiding it ?

Nope my friend. I am a believer that of the theory that you gotta fail one hundred times to succeed. Anyway, i don't know why we give this guy advice. He wont apply it anyway, just as he hasn't applied anything from this site for a year.

Commandante, while you like going into multiple action dates and TRY to make her attracted, i like to get them to my home, build the sexual tension to the point that she cant hold it anymore and bang the sh1t out of them. After all, its just a preference i have.

 

[Kal]

I don't have big financial issues but I like to spend less at the end of the month when all my bills are due. In a week I'll have spending money. Anyway, I've never had a girl over to my place, I'd like to try it.