Inappropriate Behaviour

[Slickster]

So a buddy of mine married the wrong girl. The red flags were all over the place (for me anyway) but he just couldn't see them. She was a single mom, attention *****, controlling as all hell, and low self-esteem despite her good looks.

They got married about 3 years ago. Had a baby right away and bought a house. For the first couple of years I never saw either of them. She wouldn't let him out of the house. Nowadays I see her all the time. Their relationship is on the rocks. Now that her their baby is a little older she is out all the time partying leaving my friend home to take care of the kids. Most times she's out until all hours of the night with a group of dudes.

There is widespread speculation that there is a possible affair in the works. She spends a lot of time with a certain guy. They claim that they are only friends. Funny but this certain guy and his long time gf just split. Turns out the gf couldn't take this new "friendship".

Whenever I see my buddies wife out partying she is such an attention wh0re. She makes all kinds of sexual comments and is extremely flirty with all the guys. Most of the guys just ignore it in respect of our friend. However, there are some who play her game and frankly it makes me a little sick!

I know she does it for attention but I find it completely inappropriate. I've had a few discussions with my girlfriend and other friends about her and we all agree that what she is doing is not good.

This past weekend we were all at a beach party. At one point I'm standing there with a couple male friends and this attention whoring beatch. Somehow she works the conversation into sex and starts describing to us all how she has been so horny lately. And also how wet her pVssy is because her and her husband haven't been having sex.

Now I'm thinking here we go again. What a fvcking cvnt. None of the other guys seem to really care but I just feel like telling her to shut up because she's married to one of my good friends. So anyway I walk away shaking my head.

Awhile later I'm stumbling around in the darkdrunk and stupid. I come across my own girlfriend with two other dudes. (The same dudes from earlier.) Turns out they are in the middle of a conversation about the intricate details of anal sex.

Now at the time I didn't really think a whole lot about it. (Too drunk) The next day though one of the guys who was there makes a smart ass crack at my girlfriend about the a$$fVcking conversation. She was really embarrassed and I just gave her a very unimpressed look. Now I know these two guys very well and there is NO WAY in hell that they started that conversation. They fVcking know better.

So a while later my gf comes to me and apologizes. She admits that it was her who started the conversation and agrees that it was totally inappropriate.
I must say I was a little shocked especially after all the discussion regarding the attention wh0re my friend is married to. My gf claims she was drunk (which makes it worse in my mind) and didn't know what she was doing. Yeah right. I've made it very clear to her that I won't accept that kind of behaviour.

The part that bugs me is also the two dudes involved in the conversation. I can't imagine having a discussion like that with their gf's. I wouldn't do it and I know they wouldn't either.

Anyhow I just wanted to throw this little story out there and get some of your thoughts on situations like this.

 

[joekerr31]

couple of quick thoughts before i run out the door here...

1) your friend married a wh*re. he should divorce her RIGHT away before his net worth grows. better to give her half now than half in 10 years. hopefully she remarries quickly and then he can stop paying support.

2) your girlfriend is an 'in the closet' wh*re. i'll tell you why... its one thing to talk about something like anal sex when you are sober. that;s actually MUCH better. because at least in that scenario she has her wits about her and can keep the conversation under control (its still not right, but its easier to address). the fact that she brought this up while drunk tells me that when her inhibition is lowered she LOVES getting guys riled up. women are NOT stupid - they KNOW that talking about sex with men tends to get them hot and bothered. she is letting them know that shes a 'bad girl who does bad things'.

was she trying to hook up with them? not at all. what she WAS doing though was attempting to raise the attention she receives from your social circle. she's trying to climb the social ladder by being the girl that likes to talka bout sex and who likes sex, even kinky sex. not only does this bring her more attention, it also prepares the social circle to offer her vines to jump to if you she wants to jump from yours.

lets face it, group of guys and girls hang out. one girl starts talking about anal sex etc. girl breaks up with boyfriend. are you telling me that one of the guys in the group is not going to try and bang her knowing she's in to kinky sex?

3) women today use sex talk openly as a means of drawing attention. i dont know why this has happened, but it is a big disturbing. i've been in many conversations where women are very blunt about sexual acts. its even worse when its all women and just one man (ie. me). personally i find its a total turn off. i feel like im talkign to a group of hookers.

4) this also goes to show that its really really hard to find a good woman. a lot of women, like your gf and your buds wife, have adopted the 'sex in the city' attitude towards life.

5) lastly, and perhaps most importantly, is NEVER EVER EVER until the day you take your last breath assess a situation based on what a woman says. ALWAYS judge the behavior. so who cares what your gf says was the reason she talked about anal sex with two other guys. its totally immaterial. whatever she says is ALWAYS going to cast her in the most positive light possible. all you have to ask yourself is whether a woman who does that is what you are looking for in a mate.

her behavior was not right nor wrong in the objective sense. all that matters is whether her behavior is compatible with what you want in your life. and if its not, then you need to take this as a serious sign of the tip of the iceburg.

trust me, this isn't a one time slip up. this is the tip of a personality trait that is a part of who she is. she may have hidden it from you, or you may not have wanted to see it - but if it disturbs you then you need to start paying close attention to who exactly your gf REALLY is as a person and whether that is who you want to spend more time with.

anyway, those are my initial thoughts. i might have more to say when later. gotta jet.

 

[squirrels]

It's funny, man...women all see the power that wh0res like Paris Hilton wield and they all want that power for themselves, but they refuse to accept the consequences that come with it. Namely, it renders you untrustworthy in a "committed" relationship.

Strike one?

 

[jophil28]

Joe Kerr said what needed to be said.
You may find his comments disturbing - I did, and she is not MY G/f !
You have just witnessed an aspect of her character thru a side window.
Stay with her and you will see more of the same.
Damn, its hard to find a good woman.
Women do not have to act decently these days thanks to feminazi mindcontrol and the shyte that they read in Cosmo and see on SEx in the City. Whorishness is now the new gold standard for women because they are so gullible that they buy into the Paris H. lifestyle as desirable and valuable.
P.H. is the worst example of how to be a female, BUT she is worshipped by women because she pulls off the old female scam -getting what she wants by being a slvt and NOT be achieving or creating anything worthwhile.

Finding a valuable woman is like looking for a diamond in a dogpile.

 

[vitor]

Your Buddy needs to Get His balls Back. Why is he letting her do these things to him. He should really hire a Private Investigator and get evidence and end this misery.

As for your lady, she was probally out of line but we have all been that drunk guy who said the wrong thing before you brought it up, she apoligized, give her a break.

 

[hithard]

Joekerr was spot on with this. I’d say it’s in the early stages of a Wh0re explosion. I don’t know whether women start getting curious about being fu$cked by other guys, but it always seems to start off with seemingly innocent situations. Example saying something that doesn’t fit what you thought her character was such as seeing a celeb on T.V and saying something along the terms of I'd F$ck him, or some other convo with sexually connotations that don't include you.Being around attention Wh0res can bring it out in your own gf for some God unknown reason.

Whether or not it actually progresses to anything depends on lifestyle. If she doesn’t have a job to keep her busy or a lifestyle that is fills in her days; then the chances are higher of her putting serious thought into using sex as a life stimulant.

At the moment it doesnt sound like anything to worry about simply a blip.Makes you wonder what planted this seed in her mind.Don't use the powers of your subconcious to will her into Wh0redom though.

 

[joekerr31]

As for your lady, she was probally out of line but we have all been that drunk guy who said the wrong thing before you brought it up, she apoligized, give her a break.

this may be true. it all depends on past history. if she's shown 100 instances of being a high quality woman and this is ONE instance of acting like a low quality woman so be it, let it pass.

but somehow given the posters concern over this incident i'm assuming there have not been enough 'high quality' moments with this woman to offset the possibility that this may be reflective of a side to her that is lurking under her everyday persona.

 

[STR8UP]

I think I touched on this in a thread or two I wrote awhile back.

It's a new world out there dude. Today females don't have the same sense of obligation and respect for their men that they had in the past.

Went out Saturday night with some friends. One of my buddies brought his wife along. We were at a bar and I ended up sitting down on a couch next to her, while the rest of the group headed to another bar. We met up with them about 20 minutes later, and I headed to the bar with his wife to get a drink.

We came back to where the group was and they weren't there, so the wife grabs my hand and pulls me on the dance floor. Alright, no biggie, just doing the white man's overbite minding my own business, THEN she pulls me up on the stage. Uh, ok.

So now she starts grinding her ass on me, then she turns around and does some seductive sh!t, crazy enough stuff that she was attracting an audience of guys who were eyeing her up and down while she humped my leg.

So by this time I'm basically telling her she needs to chill out, that I don't want any problems with my friends. She didn't really listen, and before you know it she grabs my hand again and pulls me off the stage. This time she took my hand and plastered it to the side of her hip as we went to look for the others.

I know, I should have just ejected and taken myself out of the situation, but she had had a few drinks, and I didn't want to leave her alone. I guess it was kind of implied that I was making sure she was ok.

Now these two are a bit on the freaky side, so I doubt if I would have had problems with the hubby anyway, but what she was doing was definitely inappropriate. And I can't even count the number of times I've had similar things happen to me during the past year, this is NOT an isolated occurance.

Fact is many women today just do not have the sense of boundaries that they should when they are in a relationship. Right or wrong, that's how it is.

 

[joekerr31]

don’t know whether women start getting curious about being fu$cked by other guys, but it always seems to start off with seemingly innocent situations. .

just my personal take on this, but i dont think women get curious so much about f*cking other guys, so much as having the attention of other guys - or even more precisely being the woman that a bunch of guys want - the proverbial lead cheerleader if you will (except in their later years instead of pom poms and skirts they use blow jobs and rim jobs).

i think a lot of women who take this route end up really regretting it. i think after a very short period of time they quickly realize they are just a c*m bucket for these guys and that not only do they not feel better about themselves as they had hoped would happen via an super ego boost, they realize they have tossed away any self respect they might have had.

now some guys on here will say 'oh come on joekerr, join us in the 21st century. women like sex just as much as men. nothing wrong with a woman banging a ton of guys. heck, if i were a woman that's what i would do."

which seems to make sense, but it actually doesn't. women have a million reasons to be very selective about the men they screw. from biological reason to social conditioning. a womans NATURAL inclination is to find the best possible mate and then settle down with that mate.

for men however, it is much more about f*cking. A man has the urge to blow his load once a day (in general that is) - this leads a lot of men into scr*wing multiple women to get the amount of sex they want.

put simply, most men's ideal fantasy would be to be a king with a 100 beautiful concumbines. most women's fantasy is to be the queen.

when women start acting like men (ie. looking to lay any guy they don't find gross) and men start acting like women (stay at home dads with no career of any kind) - you know we are almost at the Revelations chapter of the Bible

 

[joekerr31]

Fact is many women today just do not have the sense of boundaries that they should when they are in a relationship. Right or wrong, that's how it is.

ok str8up, im coming out to where you are. we're going to go take a drive out into the country and crash some mormon or Quakers town - you know the folks who don't use technology and still use horses and carriages.

i bet you find some super hotties in there who have their heads on straight. we'll toss em over our shoulder and bring em back to the big city with us.

you KNOW right now, as we speak, there's some average looking quaker dude boffing some quaker chic who is like a 9.5/10 and after he's done SHE is thanking him for picking her and telling him how much she loves him etc - genuine emotion and commitment.

in the west you never get genuine commitment - it always sounds a bit rehearsed to me.

 

[STR8UP]

ok str8up, im coming out to where you are. we're going to go take a drive out into the country and crash some mormon or Quakers town - you know the folks who don't use technology and still use horses and carriages.

Make it eastern europe or southeast asia, and I'M THERE!

 

[hithard]

just my personal take on this, but i dont think women get curious so much about f*cking other guys, so much as having the attention of other guys - or even more precisely being the woman that a bunch of guys want - the proverbial lead cheerleader if you will (except in their later years instead of pom poms and skirts they use blow jobs and rim jobs).

I think this was the case 3 or 4 years ago. However it seems to have progressed from just wanting attention to wanting to get laid by multiple men or have sexual encounters of whatever nature. This is no word of a lie but probably 8 out of 10 friends’ wives or girlfriends have made a pass. Not the bat the eyelids kind either. I actually woke up with one on me when I crashed at a mate’s house. At this point in time a good many are having relationship problems with the women going out partying and finding other men. Must be something to do with a solar flare or something. I’m in Australia though so might be a different take where you are.

 

[jonwon]

So a buddy of mine married the wrong girl. The red flags were all over the place (for me anyway) but he just couldn't see them. She was a single mom, attention *****, controlling as all hell, and low self-esteem despite her good looks.

They got married about 3 years ago. Had a baby right away and bought a house. For the first couple of years I never saw either of them. She wouldn't let him out of the house. Nowadays I see her all the time. Their relationship is on the rocks. Now that her their baby is a little older she is out all the time partying leaving my friend home to take care of the kids. Most times she's out until all hours of the night with a group of dudes.

There is widespread speculation that there is a possible affair in the works. She spends a lot of time with a certain guy. They claim that they are only friends. Funny but this certain guy and his long time gf just split. Turns out the gf couldn't take this new "friendship".

Whenever I see my buddies wife out partying she is such an attention wh0re. She makes all kinds of sexual comments and is extremely flirty with all the guys. Most of the guys just ignore it in respect of our friend. However, there are some who play her game and frankly it makes me a little sick!

I know she does it for attention but I find it completely inappropriate. I've had a few discussions with my girlfriend and other friends about her and we all agree that what she is doing is not good.

This past weekend we were all at a beach party. At one point I'm standing there with a couple male friends and this attention whoring beatch. Somehow she works the conversation into sex and starts describing to us all how she has been so horny lately. And also how wet her pVssy is because her and her husband haven't been having sex.

Now I'm thinking here we go again. What a fvcking cvnt. None of the other guys seem to really care but I just feel like telling her to shut up because she's married to one of my good friends. So anyway I walk away shaking my head.

Awhile later I'm stumbling around in the darkdrunk and stupid. I come across my own girlfriend with two other dudes. (The same dudes from earlier.) Turns out they are in the middle of a conversation about the intricate details of anal sex.

Now at the time I didn't really think a whole lot about it. (Too drunk) The next day though one of the guys who was there makes a smart ass crack at my girlfriend about the a$$fVcking conversation. She was really embarrassed and I just gave her a very unimpressed look. Now I know these two guys very well and there is NO WAY in hell that they started that conversation. They fVcking know better.

So a while later my gf comes to me and apologizes. She admits that it was her who started the conversation and agrees that it was totally inappropriate.
I must say I was a little shocked especially after all the discussion regarding the attention wh0re my friend is married to. My gf claims she was drunk (which makes it worse in my mind) and didn't know what she was doing. Yeah right. I've made it very clear to her that I won't accept that kind of behaviour.

The part that bugs me is also the two dudes involved in the conversation. I can't imagine having a discussion like that with their gf's. I wouldn't do it and I know they wouldn't either.

Anyhow I just wanted to throw this little story out there and get some of your thoughts on situations like this.

Your buddie is clearly a winner, man he knows how to choose em.

As for you?

Would i accept my GF talking about anal s** to my mates?

Sure, why not my good mates anyway, that is good mates who i know and have known for years and am tight with!

As for guys i meet now and again? i would be a little peeved!

Would i show it?

Tbh honest about it, i would laught it off and take it as a open door to get ana* sex out of her, then i would proceed to get her drunk, since she has shown she thinks about it when pis*ed.

who give a monkeys left nut about the other guys.

If she is horney, then give her what she wants.

If your going to marry her, then i would giving her a gagging order!

If she is a wh*re she could be a wh*re in far better ways, till then enjoy the ride, dont be a chump!

 

[Slickster]

Thanks for the responses guys.

My gf left for Montreal the day after all this happened. She's there with one of her slvtty friends. So if any of you are in Montreal and looking for some beatches to a$$fvck....

Anyhow I've been thinking alot about all this and its not really easy to deal with. My gf has been great for the 2 years we've been together. As a matter of fact I was considering proposing to her in the near future. That plan is on hold now as I'm going to have to re-evaluate who the hell she really is. Its very sad for me but maybe this is a blessing in disguise too.

I know better than to only listen to her words. She has been calling me 5 times a day since she's been gone. She knows she's fvcked up big time. We've had one conversation on the phone regarding this issue which made me feel slightly better. Until last night that is. I was out with some of my buddies including the dude who was talking with my gf about anal. We were telling funny stories about the weekend beach party. At one point my buddy gets all excited and starts to tell everyone about the conversation he had with my gf. At the last minute though he wises up decides that it would probably piss me off. It was an awkward silence and all the other guys are asking "What, what did she do?" He just keeps saying "Nothing, nothing" Almost felt like he wanted to say "I'll tell you guys later when Slick isn't around." He did however divulge his new nickname for my gf though. "Queen of the A." I guess he thought I couldn't hear him.

So here I am having to deal with my buddies snickering behind my back about what my so called sweet and innocent gf told him about butt-fvcking. I gotta tell you guys it feels terrible!

Joekerr is right. For whatever reason she decided to have an obviously inappropriate conversation with one of my friends to get some social attention. Some very gender specific behaviour. Apparently the female need for male attention is great enough that she will disrespect the man she loves the most to get it. How fvcking lame!!

When she gets back we will have a talk. Starting with "What exactly did they talk about?" Next I'm going to ask what reason she could possibly have for starting this conversation. I know that anything she says is really bullshyt, but its a conversation I feel we need to have.

I know she is really sorry and feels really bad but nothing she says is going to make me feel better about this. She'll probably want to go talk to my buddy and tell him to keep quiet about it all too. That makes me furious.

I'm really not quite sure how I'll get my head around this one. I want to forgive her. I love her very much. She's my best friend and our relationship has been pretty much flawless until this point. On the other hand she's violated my trust and respect. This is a big red flag for me and it will take a LONG time for her to gain those things back. The beautiful image of her that I've held in my mind is now tarnished.

Funny how fast things can go to shyt!

Thanks again.

 

[eyedogg]

Slick,

I see this happen to around here a lot too. The exact same sitution with married couples. Women are outta control now a days. Seriously, gaming DJ's sit back in awe at these attention *****s work the floor. I tend to see it more in bars and clubs, where alcohol plays a big factor in this.

 

[st_99]

I've seen this stuff also..

A couple guys I know who's girls act like complete morons. One was married and she talked like a truck driver about her sexual desires and what not and the other one doing things with her tits..

Anyway, I'm just sitting there thinking to myself... I can't believe these guys
are sitting here accepting this behavior from thier girls!

I just hope I don't end up putting up with sh#t like that..

 

[joekerr31]

I know better than to only listen to her words. She has been calling me 5 times a day since she's been gone. She knows she's fvcked up big time. We've had one conversation on the phone regarding this issue which made me feel slightly better. Until last night that is. I was out with some of my buddies including the dude who was talking with my gf about anal. We were telling funny stories about the weekend beach party. At one point my buddy gets all excited and starts to tell everyone about the conversation he had with my gf.

you need to remember something in all this. she did NOT disrespect you. she disrespected herself!

the 'shame' you are feeling right now is NOT shame for yourself - most guys would wear it proud on their sleeve that they have a kinky nympho for a gf. the shame you are feeling is over someone you care about who disrespected themselves.

the confusion you are feeling is that when you envision the woman you want to marry you envision a woman who is confident, principled and most importantly carries herself with self respect.

your gf didn't do that and now you are worried that she may just be another attention wh*re - no different than your run of the mill tube top tattoo on the lower back wanna be porn star chic you'd see at any given bar on any given night out on the town.

its a tough scenario. the way i would frame the situation with your gf when you talk to her is to approach the matter not from the impact it has on you, but the impact it has on her. ask her if she realizes how having such conversations tarnishes her reputation. tell her how she was the center of conversation last night and how she was coined 'queen of the *sses'.

then tell her that you really care about her and that it hurts you to see her behaving this way and ruining her reputation.

theres a possibility that hitting her with a sledge hammer on this might just wake her up and she will realize the effects of behaviors. all she thinks is 'wow, when i talk like one of hte boys i get a lot of attention' she doesn't realize that its BAD attention.

anyway, if she only sees her behavior as bad because your upset then that's no good because she has learned nothing. however, if she manages to see that her behavior is bad because it demeans HER, and she shows a desire not to demean herself in the future, then maybe there is room to move forward.

 

[STR8UP]

you need to remember something in all this. she did NOT disrespect you. she disrespected herself!

the 'shame' you are feeling right now is NOT shame for yourself - most guys would wear it proud on their sleeve that they have a kinky nympho for a gf. the shame you are feeling is over someone you care about who disrespected themselves.

You are correct, but most guys (including myself) will feel disrespected to some extent when a chick does something like this.

Had a g/f awhile back who was a bit of a freak. She didn't care who saw her naked. Not that I'm particularly against that, however, it did eat at me. Reason being that I felt that if she didn't care who saw her naked, somehow she was giving something that WE should be sharing to other people.

A buddy of mine has a bisexual girlfriend. She threw a birthday party for him at my house, and she ended up getting pretty drunk and carousing with several other bisexual chicks there, right in front of everyone. She didn't really do anything wrong in my eyes (mostly seductive dancing), but my buddy got pissed at the way she was acting in front of several guys who were watching.

I would like to think that if she were my girl, I would be right in the crowd cheering, but I can also see how my buddy might feel a little bit offended by the way his girl was behaving, cause I have kind of been there myself.

I think in Slick's case he just needs to keep his eyes open. Woman talk about sex probably more than men do. Granted, it isn't usually with two other men, but maybe it was just a one time lapse in judgment on her part.

I wouldn't confront her and make a big deal out of it if you can help it. If it really eats at you that much, I would approach it as Joekerr suggested. Just don't fly off the handle cause it will do WAY more harm than good.

 

[joekerr31]

A buddy of mine has a bisexual girlfriend. She threw a birthday party for him at my house, and she ended up getting pretty drunk and carousing with several other bisexual chicks there, right in front of everyone. She didn't really do anything wrong in my eyes (mostly seductive dancing), but my buddy got pissed at the way she was acting in front of several guys who were watching.

I would like to think that if she were my girl, I would be right in the crowd cheering, but I can also see how my buddy might feel a little bit offended by the way his girl was behaving, cause I have kind of been there myself.

subconsciously men know that women behaving liek this are doing so for attention. attention is like crack cocain for women.

what upsets the man is that the man thinks (subconsciously) 'what? my attention isn't enough for you? it means so little to you that you have to go out there and make a wh*re of yourself?" (and hence the man gets upset).

consciously the man thinks he is upset because she is disrespecting him. the truth is that he is upset because:

1) he feels his attention should be enough for her
2) she is making a clear statement (unintentionally) that she doesnt NEED him - hell, she can party on with or without him.

the same effects are seen in women. women actually are much worse than men. try flirting with other women in front of your gf and see what happens - they get MUCH angrier than men do!

 

[Dash Riprock]

Anyhow I've been thinking alot about all this and its not really easy to deal with. My gf has been great for the 2 years we've been together. As a matter of fact I was considering proposing to her in the near future. That plan is on hold now as I'm going to have to re-evaluate who the hell she really is. Its very sad for me but maybe this is a blessing in disguise too.

Distance yourself a bit from her and keep your mouth shut for a while. Don't take all her calls. Keep the conversations brief.

I think your gf DID disrespect you because she knew you would find out about the conversation--it's just simply the wrong thing to do or talk about with YOUR friends--period. So on that level, it was bad judgment and I’d be embarrassed too.

Hey, everybody F's up especially when booze is involved, so maybe you chalk it up as a one-time deal, BUT I wouldn't let it slide.

One of the DJ cornerstones I use is SELF CONTROL which means when you feel like punching a hole through the wall, keep cool, don't speak, and KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS IN CHECK.

I would put a bit of distance between you and her for a while and see what happens.

Actions speak louder than words. A man distancing himself from his girl ALWAYS sends a LOUD, CLEAR message.