First ever post. Forgive me if it comes off like an overstuffed turkey.
I was an outsider in school. In fact, scratch that, I was an outsider among outsiders. Too smart for the in the crowd, too rebellious for the out crowd, I was in limbo.
At 19 there was an incident and I was wounded and traumatised; I got hospitalised and remained there for a year in a catatonic state and came out with amnesia.
I didn't turn into Jason Bourne or Wolverine or any other comic book bull, but the good news is I did lose all the programming, aka bad wiring, life had given me when it comes to women. Inbetween therapy, my dictionary reading and wikkipedia surfing I came across this site and the rest as they say is history. Boy meet world. Boy done good. I clocked up over 20 sexual partners in three years, all between 7-9 on a 10 scale.
Then it all goes wrong. I get into a long term relationship with an 8. After a year she's developed a drug problem on the side and I break up with her to be "just friends" whilst we face her problem, without the pressure of a relationship on the side. She then jumped into bed with my brother, who I hadn't had any relationship with since emerging from hospital, but apparently it's ok for him to bang my missus because I'm "technically" not his brother anymore. Then they dated and I left the entire county rather than look at the result of what I did.
Was it my fault? Did I do the wrong thing refusing to continue to date a girl with a drug habit? Was being "just friends" being logical and supportive, or short-changing someone who gave me a year of their life and put up with a dude whose history met the delete button?
I never dated again in two years and stuck with simple conquests, although it took me about nine months to get my A Game back (honestly, more grade B at this point). Then I got into a long term relationship for over a year and a half with this new girl and just broke up with her a week and two days ago.
She had begun acting in a way which, although I cannot put my finger on it, irked me. I went into her work place, somewhere I'd never visited (I let her have her own corner of the world, seems clever to have a few of your own too), and found everyone under the impression she was dating a colleague there. I checked her phone later (way out of character for me, but when you smell blood, you smell blood) and found a text from this same guy asking if they were seriously dating now or what. When confronted she claimed he's retarded (I'm not making this up) and didn't understand it was all a long running joke.
I dumped her on the grounds that she was either A) leading on a retard for an ego boost, or B) leading on a normal guy so far that it sounded better to tell me that people think she's dating a retard
Anyway she's now painting me as the bad guy just like the last one, and is getting in my face (well, close enough) with other people (though not my brother, I left him for dust, I hope) just like the last one.
Is it me? Am I out of whack? Am I too damaged to date or am I too damaged to notice they're worth dating? Or that they're not worth dating (until I've wasted too much time)?
I know psychologically I'm a serious Frankenstein automobile restore case, I need advice from my fellow, normal man. Well, the ones who aspire to DJ. Advice please. Call it as you see it. I can take it.
I was an outsider in school. In fact, scratch that, I was an outsider among outsiders. Too smart for the in the crowd, too rebellious for the out crowd, I was in limbo.
At 19 there was an incident and I was wounded and traumatised; I got hospitalised and remained there for a year in a catatonic state and came out with amnesia.
I didn't turn into Jason Bourne or Wolverine or any other comic book bull, but the good news is I did lose all the programming, aka bad wiring, life had given me when it comes to women. Inbetween therapy, my dictionary reading and wikkipedia surfing I came across this site and the rest as they say is history. Boy meet world. Boy done good. I clocked up over 20 sexual partners in three years, all between 7-9 on a 10 scale.
Then it all goes wrong. I get into a long term relationship with an 8. After a year she's developed a drug problem on the side and I break up with her to be "just friends" whilst we face her problem, without the pressure of a relationship on the side. She then jumped into bed with my brother, who I hadn't had any relationship with since emerging from hospital, but apparently it's ok for him to bang my missus because I'm "technically" not his brother anymore. Then they dated and I left the entire county rather than look at the result of what I did.
Was it my fault? Did I do the wrong thing refusing to continue to date a girl with a drug habit? Was being "just friends" being logical and supportive, or short-changing someone who gave me a year of their life and put up with a dude whose history met the delete button?
I never dated again in two years and stuck with simple conquests, although it took me about nine months to get my A Game back (honestly, more grade B at this point). Then I got into a long term relationship for over a year and a half with this new girl and just broke up with her a week and two days ago.
She had begun acting in a way which, although I cannot put my finger on it, irked me. I went into her work place, somewhere I'd never visited (I let her have her own corner of the world, seems clever to have a few of your own too), and found everyone under the impression she was dating a colleague there. I checked her phone later (way out of character for me, but when you smell blood, you smell blood) and found a text from this same guy asking if they were seriously dating now or what. When confronted she claimed he's retarded (I'm not making this up) and didn't understand it was all a long running joke.
I dumped her on the grounds that she was either A) leading on a retard for an ego boost, or B) leading on a normal guy so far that it sounded better to tell me that people think she's dating a retard
Anyway she's now painting me as the bad guy just like the last one, and is getting in my face (well, close enough) with other people (though not my brother, I left him for dust, I hope) just like the last one.
Is it me? Am I out of whack? Am I too damaged to date or am I too damaged to notice they're worth dating? Or that they're not worth dating (until I've wasted too much time)?
I know psychologically I'm a serious Frankenstein automobile restore case, I need advice from my fellow, normal man. Well, the ones who aspire to DJ. Advice please. Call it as you see it. I can take it.
