I'm super shy and I don't know how to get over it

[kav_3]

Ok so one day over this summer I decide I’m sick and tired of being a shy guy. I’m so shy that I never really talked to any girls in high school therefore not having any friends that were girls or a girlfriend. Basically I don’t want to let it hold me back like it has in the past. So I decide I want to get over it and google something about being shy and stuff and then I stumble onto this site and I start to read some tips. Eventually I read some of the stuff in the dj bible and all of wms. I find out I’m a big time afc and how being a nice guy isn’t something to be proud of like I thought it was and get sidetracked forgetting the reason I found this site well this wouldn’t last for long.

So I see something called boot camp I read about it and find this is a great way to try out these new things I’ve learned as well as get over my shyness. I enter week one thinking it would be easy to do 50 hi’s with eye contact and a smile but turns out for me it couldn’t be farther from the truth since the only time I was able to do it was when I sent about 7 resumes to different stores. When I tried again at another mall all my confidence and motivation was gone and I was losing the battle against my shyness so I gave one resume to one store when I had tons more in my hand, threw them out and sort of lied (since I did apply to one place just not multiple places lol) to my family and friends when they asked me if I applied for the jobs at the mall. So anyone got any tips for helping me getting over my shyness, I want to hopefully get over it by the end of the summer so I can actually make new friends at college which I wasn’t really able to do in my first year, I mean I did talk to some people but they were my like acquaintances in class and in some classes I didn’t talk to anyone which sucked and basically all I talk to is a couple of my friends from high school. Any tips for helping me get over my shyness would be appreciated thanks.

 

[zerocelcius]

Hey you tried that is a big step and the most important!

Now you have to get back on the horse and try again. Keep doing it until you get 50. If you can't do it in one week try for two weeks.

It really isn't that hard I know that is easy to say but I am saying it cause we have all been there.

Count up how many you have and go double that.

Than double that.

In no time you will have 50.

And stick to the Basic Training.

You won't be sorry and what do you have to loose?

Your a Big FISH in a small pond in college you will blossom, just keep to the skills.

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD AND YOUR HANDS UP ON THE WHEEL

PCZ 'N BEATS
DJ ZEROCELCIUS

 

[So pimp its scary]

Kav, good to see you putting the effort my man. College is a great place to meet loose women. All you do to start a conversation... and remember this because this will get you enough women to last you a long time (4-7 years depending on major).

All you do, go to the student lounge and get your food. Then, just walk up to a group of people that aren't in a deep conversation and say 'I hate eating alone, do you mind if I join you guys.' as you're sitting down, then you don't even need to think of something to say because silence eats away at people. Do this with a new group every day and your shyness will quickly fade.

 

[Mojo604]

I also have a problem with being real shy sometimes... And the thing is, that if I get to go out often and meet new people and talk to them, my shyness fades away--BUT after a while of not talking to new people, the shyness grows back. So im guessing that to make it a part of you to become more social, you have to be exposed to situations where you have a chance to socialize- (more) often.

 

[kav_3]

Well zerocelcius i've tried doing the hi thing a couple of times at different places but I haven't been able to do it, I guess I could keep trying till I eventually do it.

So pimp its scary I really like the tip you mentioned, I will try to do it, but i'm not to sure if i'd end up doing it because I might end up wimping out of it.

Yeah Mojo I sort of know what you mean but to a way lesser extent, since none of my frineds that I still talk to go to any kind of social events. Also off topic cool to see that your from Vancouver, i'm from Surrey.

 

[zerocelcius]

their is only one way you are going to do it and that is find a confident token.

Somhow you have to find somthing to get you to not wimp out. Obviously you don't want to wimp out cause you are trying and expressing your want to be more social.

So answer me these questions:

What do you want most out of life:

What drives you:

What are your two top goals:

Do you want to Shag some day:

Honostly answer these and I will try to help you to find somthing that will motivate you when you most need it.

That should get you over those speed bumps...yes speed bumps they are not mountains. Just lil ol bumps....

PCZ 'N BEATS
DJ ZEROCELCIUS

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Xanax or Valium - social anxiety meds. It'll fix your problem right away..

Faster and smoother means to an end my man.

 

[kav_3]

Ok so to answer your questions

What do you want most out of life: To be really social around people and be successful at whatever I choose to do with my life.

What drives you: The hope that I can change for the better, not tottally sure if that's what drives me, but I can't really think of anything else

What are your two top goals: Right now my top two goals are to get into shape and get over my shyness, these are more short term goals than anything else.

Do you want to Shag some day: Yes

not sure if I answered them well, but I tried, if you need better answers i'll try to think of something better for tomorrow.

Also ER!C L!VE I don't think I want to go on any meds to get over this, i'd much rather do it myself.

Well i'm going to bed since it's 3 AM right now and i'll check back tmorrow.

 

[S0LID]

read "without embaressment" by Michael Pilinski.

 

[Senza]

Read the godamn DJ bible.

 

[zerocelcius]

Originally posted by kav_3
Ok so to answer your questions

What do you want most out of life: To be really social around people and be successful at whatever I choose to do with my life.

What drives you: The hope that I can change for the better, not tottally sure if that's what drives me, but I can't really think of anything else

What are your two top goals: Right now my top two goals are to get into shape and get over my shyness, these are more short term goals than anything else.

Do you want to Shag some day: Yes

not sure if I answered them well, but I tried, if you need better answers i'll try to think of something better for tomorrow.

Also ER!C L!VE I don't think I want to go on any meds to get over this, i'd much rather do it myself.

Well i'm going to bed since it's 3 AM right now and i'll check back tmorrow.

ok to be social is good. To be successful is Great. Now what is one of the key ingrediants in both of these factors. Confidence!!!
Looking sombody in the eye and being able to carry a conversation is key to obtaining your goals here.
If you are as goal orintated as I prosume you to be use this.
Everytime you go out and get scared think that you can never be successful in anything you do if you wimp out.

Now getting in shape is a great!!!!! THing. Go start that today. Anything you do to get in shape will be good for YOU! When you take care of yourself you begain to gain self worth. You worked hard to be health so you feel proud of your accomplishments. Theirfor you will express that pride and confidence with out effort. Hell you won't even notice your doing it. SO Yes go work out, eat right, Run...etc.

So you want to shag...ha? I am telling your mom. No for real Shaging is good .. ok Great and if keeping that as a goal will help you out than use it. I used shagging as a motivational thing like going out. Thinking about shagging will get you pumped and motivated to get out the house. As long as you don't head for the remote or lotion....sorry. But yea a good motivational tool.

Look at all the reasons you have not to wimp out now. So Go be successful and look em in the eyes when you do it. Go be successful at being social and smile. Find somthing you are intrested in like working out and getting in shape and find some friends to work out with. Now you are completing two goals.

The more you get out working to conquere your goals the less shy you will become.

alright my Man you are ready to go out and become a Successful DJ.

*and for the meds a good suggestion and could be a thing to look into, but for now Win this fight on your own*

hmmm the rocky song in you head if it helps.

Go Get 'Em.


PCZ 'N BEATS
DJ ZEROCELCIUS

 

[zerocelcius]

MAN i am tired please overlook my grammer and structure from above....

it is 5am here..

zzzzzzz for the Z time.

pcz

 

[Black_Italian]

The best way to get over you shyness is to become a Ninja.

Alternativley you could get naked and run down the main street of your city/town whilst singing "im freeeeeeeeee to do what i want any old time" i think thats how the song goes.

NOTE: Avoid the police and make sure its night time.

Or one more thing i noticed blind people arent shy so try talking to a girl with your eyes closed Here is an example.

 

[kav_3]

zerocelcius thanks for the advice I think i'll join a gym by the end of this week and try out some of the other things you mentioned and see if they impact me at all.

Black Italian you've inspired me so much that i'm going to pull a will ferrel in old school lol, but the whole thing about talking while your eyes are shut, i'm not sure if your joking or not but if you aren't I would say that would probably be really creepy and weird unless I was wearing sunglasses, but even then lol.

 

[Black_Italian]

of course i was joking man.

 

[Eyes_Of_Fire]

Alright, I was cruisin' this site and I found something pretty inspiring. I read this, then the same night I strolled up to this HB8.5 in King Soopers and got her number (High IL and she was super excited to give it to me)

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=34241

Good Luck bro!

By the way, when you do a cold approach, what I find works best is just stroll up to the girl (make sure you look her in the eyes the whole way, if not, thats alright but IL might be lower)

Say: Hey, whats your name?
Her: <<name>>
You: Well, I got to get goin, but I'd like to talk to you sometime, whats a number I can reach you at?
Her: <<number>>
You: OK, bye
Her: Bye

Then you bounce.

Eyes_Of_Fire

 

[Eyes_Of_Fire]

Originally posted by GodsGiftToWomen
That's a wonderful way to pickup a flake. You must Read THIS.

Thank me later.

Sounds good!

Eyes_Of_Fire

 

[kav_3]

Eyes_Of_Fire I was just spent an hour reading the link you posted and I feel somewhat more motivated to go do something. Seems like a good thing to do in the beggining to get over inital fears and then once I get more comfortable I could do the more advanced stuff the GodsGiftToWomen mentioned.

I think i'm finally getting close to the breaking point, I feel more motivation than before, i just need to get out there and do it, hopefully I can.

I think this will be my last post until I talk to atleast one new random person.