I'm still too scary looking

[Stuntmann]

Your problem is your lack of self confidence, or self esteem.

How do you know people are reacting bad towards you? You look for that!! When you looking for something specific, you find it.


I'd say keep your current look, but you could do better. Even with your current look you are still attractive, thought!! It's your lack of self esteem, self confidence, that's gross. Got it?


Here is what you need:


1) Healthy weight, low body fat.

2) Unbold yourself, you look bold.

3) Shave. Facial hair are not attractive.

4) Peakcock with your hair length, and style. Get rid of lip piercing, keep ears.

5) Dress approprietly.



That will fix things about 5%. The rest 95% are in your head. You need more confidence. Work on your confidence using a method you haven't used before. Because if you worked on it before you failed.

 

[Soyoushave]

That will fix things about 5%. The rest 95% are in your head. You need more confidence. Work on your confidence using a method you haven't used before. Because if you worked on it before you failed.

yes, but it's the 5% improvement that helps so many guys to actually feel their self improvement.
In order to change from the inside (something you can't directly see) it really helps to have something 'physical' changed. something that you can look at

 

[Roulette]

You look good man.

1. Grow back / keep the facial hair because it makes you look more masculine (probably something you're trying to avoid but stay with me here). Keep it at "stubble" level like in the second pic.
   
2. Lose the all black cloths.
   
3. Shaved head makes you look all "white powerrrr". I would get a nice fullback ball cap. Wear it frontwards though! Make sure it's not black. Try for light navy blue.
   
4. Go tanning. Lots of guys go tanning; It's not just for fairies man. You're a decent enough looking guy as it is but a tan would make you about 2 points higher.
   
5. Keep the lip ring it's totally you.
   
6. Consider wearing some pink. I know I know... pink is "gay", but I wear it all the time and never get any **** for it at all. If nothing else, pink WILL make you 10 times friendlier.
   
7. Stop the death glares man! lol

That's my $0.02 bro. You seem like a really nice guy. Post another pic if you implement any of my advice.

P.S: Keep the stubble and lip ring. It's you're style man. Embrace that! The lack of smile / all black on pale skin is 90% of what makes you look aggressive.

Kudos,
Matt

 

[Someone Much cooler]

I don't say dress like a prep, I don't like your style either tho. But between the 2 i would go with the preppy look. Then again I'm from Philly so i dress differantly. Lose the peircings and i don't think you look scary at all so ignore those people who think you do, they are causing you valuable self esteem, there is nothing wrong with you or how you look.

 

[Soyoushave]

This is one of the guys that actually cán wear a piercing without looking lame.

I've been where you been (aside from the piercing) and this is how I dress now (and get positive reactions to)

Like everybody here says, lose black...

Try doing a google about what colors tell people (every color has an emotion)
Then think about this; what is your basic emotion?

Then go out and shop!!! I have 1 shirt in each color + some extra shirts in my basic emotions (still following me?)

Black trousers are ok...they tell you have class. What's more important though, are white pants!
Really, you can't go wrong with white pants

I suggest buying black or white shoes...(sneakers...something sportive...)

Err...I wouldn't lose all the facial hair...shave everything under your neck, so that you have a line of beard that stops on your yawline...with beard I mean (how do you call it?) trimmed(?) (I mean when you can see that there is hair, like 1 mm max.)

And for your normal scalphair, let it grow just a little, I'd suggest 1/2 cm

and stop using the 'evil eye' on photo's

good luck

 

[HalfAddict]

Personally I like the rockabilly look.

You can come off as friendly and down to earth and still keep a bit of badassness about yourself.

http://www.daddyos.com/retro/slc44.html is one of my favorites.

 

[Stuntmann]

Hey moster squad! You look like you could jerk off on telle tubies.


j/k man, j/k

 

[dirtyvibe]

Research a bodybuilding cutting diet and routine because you don't need to lose weight, you need to lose bodyfat.

Shave your head, shave your face, dress in preppier clothes, don't wear black, get rid of all the man jewelry, and get a tan.

 

[B4IFURU18?]

Monster -

Your attire and the way you carry yourself is what's dragging you down. I wear black shirts all the time, but I always make sure they're with pants of a differing color. You don't need to wear pink to come off as approachable. Just refine your style a bit. But, don't wear **** that you don't like (i.e. AF, American Eagle, Polo, etc...)

Grow you're hair out. You'll look much better with longer hair. You have to have a leaner face to pull of the shaved head look. I suggest leaving the sides at 1/4 - 1/2" and the top at 1" - 1 1/2". Throw in some pomade or styling glue (don't use a lot) and give yourself a nice textured messy spike.

I second getting a tan. You don't need to look like the Hulk, but a little color certainly would help you out a lot. Not to mention, I think a nice tan is a confidence booster. You just look better.

Most importantly, don't try and turn yourself into someone you're not. Find a style that fits you, and stick to it. Make sure it's one that you like and that you can pull off. You're not going to be an Abercrombie sporting guy, it just won't work with you.

I've attached a few pics of myself so you can get an idea of my style, and where I'm coming from.

http://photos-492.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v64/91/0/185100492/n185100492_31263905_2491.jpg
http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/1124/n33800244316656731781yi3.jpg
http://photos-743.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v76/119/40/63911743/n63911743_32100311_825.jpg
http://photos-927.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v65/228/47/63904927/n63904927_31834055_9888.jpg

 

[Yapper]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v685/cadaverinc/Picture018.jpg

Better? Actually that pic is from a few years ago, and I don't know why I look so pissed. I think I was mad at my guitar or something.

Anyway, piercings aren't a big deal around here. There's a tattoo shop with a piercer on pretty much every corner. I've thought about ditching them, but everytime I tell some girl I might, she tells me not to, or that I need more. I dunno. The hole left behind looks worse in my opinion.

HOLY KNIGHT
that's the scariest one of all!! lol

 

[ricorico]

Lose the " I hate life" look, the lip piercing too. IT just makes you look like you are trying even harder to look mean, though you say you're not. Loose weight to cut your face. Add a goatee. Wear some cool -t shirts

 

[sav]

you look like a rapist.... im sorry.. but you do...

now for some constructive criticism..

lose a LOT more weight.. lose the peircings, lose the black clothes.. lose everything that is YOU...

once you lose weight, get some WHITE clothes, nice fitted pants, nice white dress shirt, and possibly a black jacket for the winter (gives it a nice contrast) if you go all black i will KILL You..

like some guy mentioned get a baseball cap.. but not with a baseball team, something stylish, maybe burberry or prada if your wallet can pull it.. also wear nice dress shoes.. or nice running shoes.. diesel has some nice ones..

but key point is LOSE MORE WEiGHT.. you look chunky...

 

[BluEyes]

Smile.

 

[Stuntmann]

you look like a rapist.... im sorry.. but you do...

NO. Like he could jerk off over tele tubbies! :crackup:

 

[Telos]

4) Peakcock with your hair length, and style. Get rid of lip piercing, keep ears.

Stuntman doesn't know what he's talking about, lose the ears. Every girl I've talked to has told me that men with ears is a big turn off.

 

[Serialized3]

Props on the Morbid Angel shirt (or sticker) on the 4th picture! :rockon:

I doubt that your face is what intimidates people. Unless you've got the tough-guy mean mug look going on, you actually a have rather gentle face, particularly your eyes.

If it were me, I'd keep the stubble as it sort of softens your face, lose the lip piercing (it makes your lips look disproportionally small), and keep your hair short but not completely bald. The Anton Szandor LaVey look is sort of creepy/lame.

Your problem of intimidating people more likely comes from the way you engage in eye contact with them. Smile (or half-smile) more.

You might also want to minimize the intimidation factor of having a strong build by keeping your body in a relaxed position, as opposed to a confrontational or tense position. Maybe keep your body positioned more sideways, as opposed to straight on, towards someone that you think might be uncomfortable with you.

As for attire, even though I am a metalhead, I only wear band shirts on occasion. It's not so much that they are intimidating per se, but they are thought of as sort of tasteless. I personally wear nice button ups, but you should do whatever suits your style.

 

[monster squad]

A rapist? Tele tubbies

Seriously, there're a LOT of conflicting opinions going on here, and I'm not entirely sure what to make of it. I'm more confused than ever. But then, I guess that's the charm of sosuave.net. I mean, honestly, thanks for the feedback and suggestions, but I think I'm more or less gonna sort it all out on my own.

Here's what's on the agenda:

1) Tanning: Not gonna happen. I don't tan. Right now I'm the darkest that I've ever been in my life. Any more time in the sun and I turn bright red and skin starts to blister. Besides, tans don't go over well around here. Most white people around here are paler than I am, and others go to tanning places. We have a name for them. Fagg0t Tan Man. It doesn't go over well.

2) Hair: Like I said before, I started going bald a while ago. No receeding hairline, but my hair is thinning on top (probably damage from when it was long more than anything). If I let it grow out, I'd look kinda like this:

http://www.shockmagazin.hu/magyar/images/bands/devin_townsend.jpg

The mad scientist look might work for ol' Devin, but I'm not crazy enough to bother. A little stubbly is perfect though. I only Bic it out of frustration when I miss a few with a trimmer.

3) Facial hair: I break out from shaving. I can shave maybe twice a month. Seriously. I'm not sure what to do about it. Goatee's are played out.

4) Body weight: I need to lose weight. No arguments there. I started off the year at 297 (I was a mess by the end of last year from depression, went out drinking everynight, ate like a pig). I'm 275 now. People will sometime guess my weight between 180 (hahaha) to 230. I want to hit 240 by the end of the year, which would put me at 13-15% BF, assuming I maintain current muscle mass. I cut all high fructose corn syrup from my diet. I limit carbs to mosty after a workout or when I wake up, and mostly it comes from whole grains and fruit. I dropped my workouts to strictly powerlifting (squats one day, benching another, deads at the end of the week) until I decide otherwise. Minor cardio. It seems to be working, since I dropped 7 lbs in the last two weeks without trying very hard.

5) Piercings: I've decided that I like them. The one I have in my lip right now is snug, so I'm not worried about it making my lips look thin. Girls mostly seem to like it anyway.

6) Clothing: This is where it gets tricky. The rockabily thing, done to death. Dressing "preppie", not gonna work. Tried it, and I felt like a douchebag. I've been wearing mostly button down shirts lately. I prefer a white Oxford, with a black tie right now (I used to go to Catholic school, and I guess it stuck with me), or ****ies workshirts. Besides that, I'd rather wait until I drop more weight before I worry about clothing. Most of my clothing is already getting baggy, especially pants.

Other than that, I guess I need to just look a little less hostile in general. I've been a bit bummed out for the last year, and right now is not a good time. I've got a lot on my mind. Besides that, I've decided that I really couldn't care less anymore what people on the street think about me. Fvck em. I gotta be me.

(MORBID ANGEL! :rockon: )

 

[DarthJuan]

The Nu-Metal / Staind look is over. Wherever you shop, stop going there.

Wear warmer colors like dark brown. It'll accentuate your eyes, and you'll still be able to wear slimming, dark colors.

If you plan on keeping your head shaved, you need to look into a stylish and disarming pair of glasses. NOT PINK.

And confidence/body language is HUGE. A lot of that is probably your problem.

 

[Stuntmann]

If you want to look different, start doing different things. Same as if you want to get laid and before it hadn't worked, do something different. I.E. follow advice.


As far as your hair goes. You can not stay bald!! A tupei won't do either, because both bald head and tupei are a source of insecurity. You can do these:

A) Hair transplant.

B) Shave hair.

D) Wear a mystery type of hat or a du rag, with some sun glasses for peacocking.

What chick would fvck a bald guy? Especially a bald fat guy? Stop kidding yourself.


Your weight is a source of insecurity as well. You look fat. Your face, your body, everything. Your body fat I'd estimate to be 35% or more. You can loose 10 lbs a month, and your target weight should be 160 to 190 lbs. You can easily achieve that in 6 to 8 months. There is literally no excuses for that. This alone will be a major source for your self confidence. Because you'd actually look cool.



Tanning: once you get enough self confidence and self respect and self love, you will have some balls to go to the beach or a tanning salon and get yourself a nice tan. Fair? I think it's fair.

Of course you don't want a tan, you're a fat slab, you're ashamed to do that. Titties, fat belly, fat sticking out of everywhere, you name it. And you saying you have problems with the rest of your life. Wonder why? You're insecure and don't love yourself, that's why.


Do shave daily. But control your acne with medication, such as proactive or murad.


Clothing is indeed tricky for you. You somehow must cover your tits and belly. Buying a gynecomastia vest (such ass off eBay) may help your self confidence.


Your problem? Your body, which controls your mind. Your mind thinks you're a freak. You have control over your mind.

 

[Touchout]

Yea, I think it's kind of pointless for people to give you fashion advice, because your not just some loser who knows nothing, obviously your fashion meshes with you and you like it, so I'm not going to try to change it.

The only thing I really think you should do is start smiling more and look friendly. Really that will make all the difference in the world along with your weight loss.

Just look happy!