Im sorry but...

[ItsOnNow]

I cant do it. Why or for what reasons remain unknown to me, but I am still in this position where it feels like everyone else is so far ahead of me, I see always when I am out. I don't if its some fear, or inferiority. Or not channeling the right energy. Is it power? Freinds/social life? Attractiveness? Mental stuff? As someone once told me, its all in my head. I feel like I lacking the tools as discussed, the ability to attract for whatever reasons. I mean, I feel like something is wrong on the inside. Here's how I feel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xviBq3dg_8. I mean, I have no initiative, its not there. I mean, I feel behind. I cant get in the right mode.

 

[DevanE]

Hey man it's all good but right now I'm going to tell you something that you really need to think about alright.

How much effort have you actually put in trying to talk to a girl...seriously...? Do you actually have a passion for anything right now in life except for just living a mundane existence like the rest of the world...? You know I bet you 99% of the people are literally BLIND all around you and what I mean by blind is that they don't realize the value of existence they have in this world. Dude we are given a GIFT that we squander away throughout our lives complaining about incessant BS, trivial things. Check this out when I was literally on top of everything in life, school, work, gym, martial arts etc etc I realized I had a very strong passion, desire and DIRECTION in life eventually I was thrown off course and took a very serious blow and it fuked me up but nevertheless, I still haven't given up because I know at this stage in life time is on MY side as well as yours.

But I bet you $20 that you have NO worries in this world at this moment right now, your probably living a carefree life in comparison to other people, for God sakes some people don't even have legs nor can they walk. I know it's hard to put in effort but take baby steps...you know you can. It's embarrassing too I know because it's a shame only you know about, a social stigma, your an outcast and you can't really tell people because in reality you ARE a loser and you have to accept that fact but don't sweat stuff like that because you know your lying to yourself by not even trying and you KNOW deep down that you REALLY haven't tried hard enough.

Don't lie to yourself have you REALLY given it your all...?

 

[ItsOnNow]

No, I feel I dont. I feel like I have nothing. I havent even put in the effort to get what I want, and thats what kills me. I see all these people leading, and doing, and I am on the sidelines, and thats why they have it all and I dont. I am controlled by something else it feels like. I am going nuts as a result. I feel like I never learned the skills, became a natrual as they say, maybe it is something seriously internal doing this to me. I have many worries, not succeeding, not finding a good wife and starting a family, not having the money I want, the education. I mean, I want it, but cant get it it seems.

 

[DevanE]

Hmm...I used to feel that way too, actually I felt that way for a long time and you know what it is...it's laziness. Seriously it is. It's nothing but laziness I mean why wouldn't you WANT to do something that will benefit you...? It's really something to think about because we fuk ourselves from NOT doing what we want. You know what the funny thing is it's a Friday night and I COULD have been out their "living" it up, partying with friends and all that but in the end it's not going to be your friends, it's going to be YOU. But I personally feel that you shouldn't really be complaining because you haven't REALLY given it your best effort.

So why is that you DON'T want go after what you want...? What's REALLY stopping you besides yourself...?

 

[ItsOnNow]

I think its some sort of fear. Fear of rejection, not being accepted, not being allright with myself. Like it says it that vid, as long you tell yourself you are ok, nothing can affect you. Some mental block, probably not having acquired certain skills. Plus, I think it is some sort sexuality thing. Something to do with either a low drive, or lack of game, or porn being too much of an outlet. Or lack of conncetion/intimacy. Plus feeling a bit inexperienced when everyone else seems much more confident.

 

[DevanE]

That makes a lot of sense but always remember (thanks to Interceptor!!) that you can never base your self-esteem on external factors EVER because external factors are variables that can change but you as a person, as a whole should know what YOU are about. Bruh, you know how many times I have gotten rejected in life...? Shoot my own biological mother rejected me lol if I can get over something like that what do YOU have to fear from rejection...?. You know that FEAR that you have...? You know WHY you have it...? It's because you KNOW that it takes effort to achieve SOMETHING, it's takes energy, time, discipline and dedication that you DON'T want to put in so you make all these excuses to NOT change your life and become bitter day by day.

All those people that you see put time and effort into what they are doing whether it's school or gym or whatever. You HAVE to be willing to fail and face rejection to get anywhere in life. You don't want to be a 50 year old man looking back at your life and come to the realization of how you didn't take any risks when you had the chance, risks you should have taken but never did out of FEAR. Do you know how stupid that sounds...? You know and I know DAMN well you can do better than that.

Just don't lie to yourself that's all that matters and work on things you need to improve on that's all PERIOD!!!!. Excuses will not get you anywhere their isn't some magic pill or advice someone will give you that will solve everything...you HAVE to willing to be vulnerable and expose yourself in order to have ANY type of personal growth.

 

[ItsOnNow]

Maybe its cause no one taught me about self esteem. I already have that feeling, looking back and not taking risks. Relates to my inexperience. I havent put in the effort/discpline/time and dedication, time gone bye, i cant get back. Thats what kills me, thats whats got a hold of me. Years, while everyone else was out having a good time, I was miserable. I mean, I live in this shell, not exposing myself.

 

[Upside]

Maybe its cause no one taught me about self esteem. I already have that feeling, looking back and not taking risks. Relates to my inexperience. I havent put in the effort/discpline/time and dedication, time gone bye, i cant get back. Thats what kills me, thats whats got a hold of me. Years, while everyone else was out having a good time, I was miserable. I mean, I live in this shell, not exposing myself.

You are only 22 and talking about wasted years? Come on man you got more years than you know ahead of you. If you don't do anything now you will be having the conversation with yourself 10 years from today wishing you did something right now.

The reason you feel inferior is because of your terrible attitude. I'm sure if people got to just talking to you they would find out you're a decent guy. You want to take charge and get in the game? Talk to people, get out, and stop whining. The time you spent whining could have been spent improving yourself.

 

[DarthAngel707]

Vent your comments here.

You'll find a lot of like-minded individuals who are going through worse things than you are.

 

[ItsOnNow]

Yeah, when I say wasted years, I mean serious time gone bye that I could have put into and be somewhere else right now. Wasted time in years going bye without being involved with someone, or even regularly getting laid. Not having a gf, while everyone else was, getting that edge, that look, that image that instantly attracts women that some guys have or not. Yeah. Plus educationally related as well. I was thinking today, what makes a good person? what if someone is or tries to be good, but has done bad things before? I mean bad. Bad as in almost killing someone in a drunken rage. What does that do to them?

 

[DevanE]

It happens bruh! nobody is perfect, we aren't told a lot of things and have to learn through a lot of mistakes we HAVE to make on our own so if you feel you weren't taught something you should have so you could have excelled better or knew before-hand you just need to get over it and stop bit**ing. Making excuses is a "cop-out" my friend that many people use to keep themselves from progressing so don't be one of them and change your life for the better and stop being lazy. If you really want to learn the "game" you need to go find a job where you are constantly talking to people, customer service, retail etc etc. It will help you get over a lot of things and it helps because you will be forced to talk to people thus, leaving your comfort zone. Once you get that down then you can move on to the next step and then the next and so on. You just need to get out more and practice. Developing skills takes time so start now instead of blaming others, complaining and most of all STOP being lazy and get off this site until you do something. What happened in the past is done but your in the now so make use of the NOW!!!! :cuss:

 

[Rhoto]

Its On Now, after watching your posts, and watching you become more and more pitiful, I've come to a couple of conclusions -

1) You are a troll.

2) You've chosen not to participate and should not be helped. At all.

So either, prove other wise, or just remove yourself from this forum. You're a parasite.

 

[SinJester]

It IS all in your head.

Very few guys are good with women. It's true. I know exactly where you are coming from, I have been there many times myself. It seems like everyone is ahead of you, but in reality it's not true. If you talk to them you will realize that they are people too, they have their own flaws, problems and worries. They are jealous of others themselves. What you see is an illusion, and when they look around they usually see that same illusion.

The best way to know what to do is to look back at what you wish you had done. You have already done this, now you have to take action. Don't worry about anyone else, this isn't a competition. They aren't nearly as perfect as they look on the surface, if you put in the effort eventallu they will be looking upon you with envy. So don't blame it on you have never 'learnt self-esteem', take it up and teach yourself.

You see the cool guy isn't worrying about being cool, he is focusing on himself and his pasions. Next time you go out, don't think 'oh look at these guys they are cooler than me' think 'what can I do to be having fun right now' and just go and do it. Focus on something else. If you can find and read The Attraction Code by Vincent DiCarlo.

 

[[S]alvatore]

Yeah, when I say wasted years, I mean serious time gone bye that I could have put into and be somewhere else right now. Wasted time in years going bye without being involved with someone, or even regularly getting laid. Not having a gf, while everyone else was, getting that edge, that look, that image that instantly attracts women that some guys have or not.

Did you stop and ponder for a second that you are having little success because you are so fixated on getting laid/having a g/f? Do you have hobbies or a passion for something? I know it's hard but you have to get out of the mindset where you are always on the lookout for girls or a relationship, I guarantee that you will start to attract more women. Let whatever happens, happen.

 

[ItsOnNow]

Hobbies/passions, well, I like sports, film,music, etc. Those are my interests. Also, probably not letting things just happen sometimes. Not having a good time when I should be.

 

[ready123]

Did you stop and ponder for a second that you are having little success because you are so fixated on getting laid/having a g/f? Do you have hobbies or a passion for something? I know it's hard but you have to get out of the mindset where you are always on the lookout for girls or a relationship, I guarantee that you will start to attract more women. Let whatever happens, happen.

his problem is he stops and ponders too much

and doesn't try to do sht other than stop and ponder

 

[ItsOnNow]

I cant help it. I am naturally curious. I was just looking at the thread out of you league girl, and to me, it has always seemed that I want I really want is out of my reach. Is it that whole "matrix" thing? The whole seeing the real world? I mean, I keep thinking about whats wrong rather than whats right. I was looking at this, http://www.mastersofapproach.com/sales.htm, and reading through it, the whole connection, intasnt connection, inner game, the steps. This is what I have been missing. This is what I need to ingrain.

 

[ready123]

I cant help it. I am naturally curious. I was just looking at the thread out of you league girl, and to me, it has always seemed that I want I really want is out of my reach. Is it that whole "matrix" thing? The whole seeing the real world?

if you wanna understand the real world, then get off the internet and go experience it

 

[ItsOnNow]

I know. Ive known this for a long time. But I, I dont know. I am worried. Perhaps I havent spent enough time in the real world. Being on the computer, looking at porn, is that real? Its also not feeling attractive or girls not seeing me as sexual. Or, I dont embrace it properly. I can look at porn, but there is something more deeper and inner.

 

[DarthAngel707]

if you post up a picture we could tell you what to improve on and most of the members will tell you that you don't look too bad.