Im scared of Confrontations.

[theapprentice]

I've come to the conclusion that basically that I am a pus**y when it comes to life. I know that its a dumb thing to say, but I realized I am afraid of danger and taking risk. What I am most afraid of is getting hurt physically.

Let me give you an example, outside of my house in my neighboorhood there were a couple arguing and the man started to get loud and rough and all I could hear is the woman crying and the man started to curse at the lady and yell and may have even pushed her, but I couldnt see because it was too dark.

I really wanted to call the police and tell them about this poor woman being confronted by this man, and being scared and crying. It made me mad to see idiots do that to people.

But I was too scared to call the police in fear of retribuition if the person found out which I know they keep annoynimous.

I was in a college class and a childhood bully of mine happened to be in the same class and college and continued to tease me as he used to but I never got in his face after years of verbal abuse to tell him to shut-up.

There are so many other incidents were things like this happen and I tend to shirk away from them.

my first question....why?

Secondly...can anything be done...Im sick of living my life in fear and worry...instead I want to be confrontational when its neccessary and called for?

 

[Fortunate_Juan]

REspect yourself more. Read the DBJ or something, put in to practice what it outlines, tweak what it says to get it to work for you. If you dont like yourself change, if you cant change you are SOL. You can only change if you set your mind to it, if you say "ive failed" before you start, you have. Think success and you will have it.

 

[theapprentice]

hi

Yeah that advise doesnt help much with me being a p***ssy.

 

[Fortunate_Juan]

ok here's some advice

dont be a *****

if you want to do something do it, if you dont want to dont. The first person to look to about not being a ***** is you.

 

[theapprentice]

Is there anything I can do

Is there anything I can do to build up my confidence in my skills on defending myself and being bold and confident were I can face physical danger.

Other than joining a defense class or w/e you can't teach somebody heart or can you?

 

[Fortunate_Juan]

Its like the phrase; cowboy up. Or man up if you prefer.

Defense classes will help
lifting weights will help


but you are missing the point, the biggest factor in being a pu**y is your attitude in life, by the way you phrased your initial post, you've accepted the fact that you are a pu**y.

I realized I am a ***** (despair)

A better, more powerful statement is;

I am TIRED of being a fcking Pu**y

if you are fed up with it, you have to walk towards the light, not the darkness; the positive not the negative.

Go lift weights, take a self defense class, most importantly tell your self "i am tired of being a fcking pu**y" and go do something about it.

Starting tomorrow, cowboy up should be something you think about if you are going to "puss" out

 

[i am me]

Yeah that advise doesnt help much with me being a p***ssy.

thats fuked up....ya it does help, howre u gonna respect yourself if u let other people push u around cus ur some kinda pu$$y. cmon man, its really not that hard, if people mess wit u, tell them to stop. simple. if they dont, stand up for yourself and be ready to use force. iono about u but i would rather people think i was some kinda confrontational jerk than some kinda shy pu$$y....people wont think youre a jerk tho if youre jus defending yourself

 

[theapprentice]

Ic

So it has to do with the mental and the physical.

I mean I need to stop calling myself a ***** and build positive attitude about myself. Move from negative to posititve.

I can lift weights and join a class, I am going to start tommorow.

But you can't teach a man to stand up for himself in the face of fear, I mean how can I change my attitudes and thoughts when I am faced with a difficult situation, were on one hand there is a possibility of danger or getting hurt or just wussing out.

I really dont think I am a pus**y on a day to day basis but when it comes to danger and risk I do run away from it.

 

[Fortunate_Juan]

Starting tomorrow, cowboy up should be something you think about if you are going to "puss" out

Dont let yourself puss out, if you want to defend a girl COWBOY UP
meaning gather yourself up and do what needs to get done...


Here's an example, I used to get ingrown toenails (Gross i know) but that was before i knew how to cut them, when i was like 12.

Anyways, you could either sit there in pain, or you could invoke TONS more pain to dig it out and cut it off. I didn't want to because I knew it hurt like a 8itch. But I did it because it had to be done.

If you find your self wanting to do something, with girls, or in life, but you are afraid to and dont, you will feel CRAPPY about yourself and continue being someone who lets things happen to them.

If you want to do something DO IT, dont TRY DO!!! Even if it doesnt turn out the way you hoped, you wont feel like you pussed out and at least you know you did what you could do.

 

[theapprentice]

hmm,.

I know...but I need someone to push me to a point were I dont care and I do what I am afraid off.

 

[BrotherAP]

I know...but I need someone to push me to a point were I dont care and I do what I am afraid off.

I agree completely that you need someone to push you to a point where you face your fears. Have you figured out who that is yet? Figure that out, and you've taken the first major step towards solving your problem.

 

[Fortunate_Juan]

I know...but I need someone to push me to a point were I dont care and I do what I am afraid off.

Then you fail, if by this point you don't understand YOU are in charge of your destiny and the only one you can ALWAYS rely on is going to be you then I don't know how to help you.

Be a leader not a follower, leaders don't have some one to kick them in the ass and push them because they are too busy taking charge.


NOW COWBOY THE FCK UP AND STOP WHINING ABOUT THIS SH!T UNLESS YOU PLAN ON BEING A PUSS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I MEAN COME ON YOU FCKING LOSER IVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE AS PATHETIC AS YOU. YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO CHANGE I BET YOU'RE JUST SOME SCRAWNY LITTLE KID WHOS GOING TO BE NOTHING BUT A MOMMA'S BOY FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.



























If you are pissed off at what I said, good! you are on your way to not taking sh!t.

If not, you fail again and I am done helping you. Thanks.

 

[Fortunate_Juan]

what theee hell is a troll?

 

[theapprentice]

yeah

Yeah you guys dont know what my life is like. Yes I understand that I am the only one I can count on but you dont realize how easy it is to let yourself down and not a 250lb coach telling you to tackle him.

 

[rocky_mtn]

Enroll in a martial arts class like karate or kungfu

It will improve your self confidence and give you skills, you know like nunchuck skills.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

You have to know,not fear,that someday you're gonna die.. - Tyler Durden.

 

[zerocelcius]

I've come to the conclusion that basically that I am a pus**y when it comes to life. I know that its a dumb thing to say, but I realized I am afraid of danger and taking risk. What I am most afraid of is getting hurt physically.

Let me give you an example, outside of my house in my neighboorhood there were a couple arguing and the man started to get loud and rough and all I could hear is the woman crying and the man started to curse at the lady and yell and may have even pushed her, but I couldnt see because it was too dark.

I really wanted to call the police and tell them about this poor woman being confronted by this man, and being scared and crying. It made me mad to see idiots do that to people.

But I was too scared to call the police in fear of retribuition if the person found out which I know they keep annoynimous.

I was in a college class and a childhood bully of mine happened to be in the same class and college and continued to tease me as he used to but I never got in his face after years of verbal abuse to tell him to shut-up.

There are so many other incidents were things like this happen and I tend to shirk away from them.

my first question....why?

Secondly...can anything be done...Im sick of living my life in fear and worry...instead I want to be confrontational when its neccessary and called for?

GOOD QUESTION. I think this is something everyone on this post (if they are being true to themselves) has faced or will face. I know I have. Let first give you my experience.

I was DJing (music) I talked to this girl about another DJ (music) and she got all scared. I asked her if she was alright and she said somebody showed up to the club that she was afraid of, and she booked it. Next thing I know a guy was next to me in Motor Cycle Leathers. Before I could walk away he stuck a knife to my throat and said something to me (I really couldn’t pay attention to what he said at the time). He took the blade away and just stared at me. I took my drink and walked to the bartender who was by the door, and all I could say was “He had a f’n knife to my throat”! The look on his face was horror. Personally I just wanted to get out and go home. I did. It hit me hard the next day. I felt like I should have kicked his arse, but looking back I was lucky that I was alive.

Another time, my mom’s ex-husband stopped by, drunk as hell. He began to get aggressive with my mom. He grabbed her and as soon as he did I took him on. I jerked him away and told him to bring it!!

My point (albeit a long one) is you have to weigh the situation! Sometimes you don’t have time to react, and sometimes you have to accept the consequences, and there are always consequences! Your situation has a lot of variables. No woman should have to put up with abuse from a guy, but realistically speaking unless you know them, it could turn out real bad for you. I know of a case where a guy I took Martial Arts from did just that. One of his female students was getting rapped just outside the gym (back parking lot) when he came out to go home. He stopped the two guys by beating the $%%t out of them. He went to jail for 2.5 years. He said when he got out that if he had to do it over again he would. Although he said he wouldn’t have crushed the one guys head in the door.

It all boils down to the end result.

 

[unorthodox]

What did it for me was double your dating, then first two videos by deangelo. My final boost came from some one on this site who said "you have to realize that their **** stinks as much as your ****." So that's what on my mind from now on. I get insecure or something, I smile and remember that expression, all is good... Today I saw some *******s kick basketball against my mustang, I meet up with them in the elevator and confronted, dudes wanted to fight and pushed me back, so I almost fvcking killed them both, my fists are still hurting. I took their ball and money and left, lol.. It was such a great rush!!!! Now 3 weeks ago, I'd be too ***** to call police.

Yea that, and some moderate weight lifting definately works for me.

 

[DarkLight]

Theres some good advice here.
Bottom line... you have to choose, whether you want to be a man or not.
No one said its easy... cause it def. is NOT.

But the way I see it.......... I have no choice, but to be a man!
I couldn't live any other way.

And while I might have some minor dissapointments in myself here and there, its all good... cause this train is only heading in one direction. And knowing overall I'll never give up to the fight of that direction and whatever it brings... gives me strength and courage.

I would definetly advise you to take up a form of Martial Arts. It will definetly build solid character, confidence, and strength of heart in yourself. Afterall it is the way of the warrior. Unfortunetly in today's microwave society... men are not brought up as warrior's, as our forefather's HAD TO. So learning an art of war, to battle life's challenge's with, will def. benefit you into the path of standing tall and fearless.

I would also recommend as other's... weight-lifting. Knowing that your body is healthy and strong, you can have confidence in yourself. Not only in the fact that you will be able to rely on your bodies performance, if need be... but everytime you stack more weight on the end of that bar, its a challenge. And as you meet that challenge/that goal... and succeed, more and more, you will start to feel better and better about yourself. This will build confidence in your abilities as a man.

The benifits of both of these 2 activities, directly and indirectly are inumerable. Also, they're both ways you can approach your situation in a positive progressive way. Starting where your at... and stepping it up naturally.

Above and beyond those 2 activities. I would genuinely advise you, to learn meditation. I go on and on about the benefits of meditation... and for good reason. Obviously your egoic "self" is the *****. Underneath all those unconcious processes, and conditioning that create such a reaction... there is a fearless spirit/soul. There is heart, and understanding. So to conciously engage the act of transcendance, facing the fears of the irrational and crazy mind... you will grow in understanding, which will result in greater courage. You will find all the strength in the world inside yourself! All the courage and confidence and value inside yourself...................... BUT ONLY IF YOU LOOK!

Thus my insistence on cats, really checking out and getting into a practice of meditation.

Hope this helps you man.
And from seeing you through your words... I already know your gonna find the person your looking for in yourself. Just to be able to see the truth of yourself, and admit to that reality... in itself takes courage. Especially when the truth might be sad, and/or shameful to your core (as a man). You might not reckognize it yet... but these are how the first steps to greatness always look.

Peace'

 

[brain]

There are alot of people here telling you not to be a pu**y, but f**k it! I mean face it, we are all pu**ies, it is all in how we handle ourselves in the situations where we feel scared. Almost everyone is going to be scared/intimidated on a almost daily basis, what you need is courage. When some jerk makes fun of you make fun of him back. You just need to not be afraid of getting your butt kicked. You can't win em all, and as for having someone push you, just slowly learn to push yourself man.