"I'm not going to sleep with you"

[Buddha_Mind]

Add another one to the list.

Last weekend, 2nd date with this one. She tells me TWICE during the night "I'm not ****ing you tonight!". Her body language definitely said otherwise.

1st time: I know.

2nd time: Yeah okay. I don't do that **** on the first date.
Her: It's our second date! (kinda madface.jpg cuz I didn't remember it's our 2nd date...subtle neg?)
Me: I don't do that on 2nd dates either.


Cut to later, she's blowing me on her couch then pounding it a little later.

She was not all that, nor was my performance lols but the whole "we're not ****ing" is like a a dude on a tarmac waving an airplane in to land. As long as you don't respond incorrectly.

Okay, okay rub it in my face, eh?

Anyone reading this thread -- learn from it.

 

[mick b]

Damn - where was this forum last week?

I got this line 3 different times when hanging out with a girl from work a few nights ago. The first time was in front of several other co-workers, and it came out of nowhere. I jokingly asked 'why not?' and pretended as if I'd been working really hard at it for a long time. Laughs were had, next topic. As we're driving to the next bar and she jumps in my car. Somebody else makes a comment about us leaving together and once again she hits me with the line only it was "I'm not sleeping with you tonight." Deflected this dumb ish again and asked what she was doing tomorrow. Next topic.

We kill the next bar and as we're leaving alone together she gives it to me a third time - "I'm seriously not sleeping with you." We'd been flirty as hell all night, touching each other, she clearly wanted it. Yet here she was in the parking lot with this crap again and I didn't know how to play it. I said, "It's all good" and playfully pushed her. At that point I totally disengaged and tuned her out while we had a smoke before leaving. I felt like she'd just been messing with me all night and was a little peeved. During that conversation she was more or less begging me to take her straight home instead of to her car, which was literally 2 minutes from her place, but I had such tiredhead from her trying to interpret her posturing I didn't realize she was trying to get me back to her place without asking. I guess ASD is her thing. I mean I've seen hard to get but this is on another level.

So I found this thread searching for "I'm not going to sleep with you" and meaning. Painfully obvious to me now that instead of tuning her out I should have gone in for the easy kill right there. Perhaps a blessing in disguise seeing as how we both are professional types and work with each other a few times per week, but wow, this thread and forum have opened my eyes to the reasons behind almost every failed hookup in my life. Some of the things on this board should be required reading for every man.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I've been nude, condom on and just about to ease between the thighs and got LMR. I just said OK, grabbed her hand, got a wristy and got the F out.

Another time, the head of my d!ck actually penetrated her and she still said No. WTF....seriously? No, seriously?! Ha ha.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

So here is a strange story I am currently trying to get off of my mind...rather I guess I am somewhat confused, thought the experience might be worth posting. Will try to keep this short and to the point.

Took a trip over a local mountain pass with a friend, whom teaches snowboarding on weekends at a local mountain a few hours away from where we both live and work during the week. Staying with a group of people, all ski and snowboarding fanatics. I've been taking the time while they're out to get some work done and make music and just chill.

Anyways, last night they (housefolk I am staying with) invite me out to see some rap group from Vancouver BC who are doing a show in town. I'm not a huge hip-hop dude but whatever I enjoy all types of music and can definitely appreciate talent and exposure and creativity. Anyways I go order a few whiskeys, have a good time dancing for the opening acts, a few acts in, and then I go sit down at a table where I can still see the group but relax and drink my whiskey.

I wasn't feeling 'on the prowl' by any means and I just didn't feel like focusing on women -- I was only here for one more night before driving back over the pass, and I just was in a relaxed mood.

Anyways I'm sitting there and this woman comes up and starts dancing next to me. She asks me why I'm sitting. I state I'm just chilling trying to enjoy the show. She asks if I want to dance. Sure. She's maybe an HB6-7 honestly not all wh0red up like some of the girls there are, but was cute and had a nice body. She seemed nice.

Ok cool, dancing, hip-hop not really my style but she was warming me up--I had been in the mood to just relax and she sort of took me by surprise so I was enjoying just dancing and being physical.

Very touchy feely, squeezing my arms and back and shoulders and all of that sh!t, I explore her body as well but within certain boundaries, IE, I did not run my hands over her breasts or anything, stopped right below them, but up and down her legs hips etc (she did at one point rub her breasts against my arms). Not trying to go into some lusty detail here but this is where it got really weird--

She invites to drive me home. Ironically enough she lives just a few blocks down from where my friends live (coincidence). I say alright, as long as you're not drunk, she says she's not, I gauge her and she seems to be telling the truth. So I get in her subaru we start driving -- she's driving fine, not drunk. She wants to show me some building which is a gear location in the area that is an extension of my workplace (basically a storage facility for their gear on this side of the mountains). Cool, I'd like to see their building lets go, I say. We drive past it, "neat" is basically my response -- it's just some building -- I appreciated her making a connection but you know its nighttime and a freaking snowy building. She suggests I can just stay at her place, I say cool, and then she says:

"but I'm not going to sleep with you"

"I say um okay."

Weird. What am I supposed to say. Ok so then I'm going to sleep on the couch or something? Just drop me off back at my place I think, I say to her. Maybe I should just sleep there. "Why? What did I do, I screwed this up" she said, "I just wanted to be upfront". I said, "Ok, that's fine, no you didn't ruin anything--just saying that made me feel uncomfortable--I just met you here tonight maybe I should just crash at my own place." (is what I said in response). She turns the car around starts driving me back, says, "I feel terrible", I say "Well don't feel terrible, relax, it's all cool--I truly enjoyed dancing with you *her name* and I had a very fun evening with you--here is my number and email get ahold of me I'll likely be over the pass again" and then she said "do you even want me to call you" I said "sure" and then we kissed (which was actually a really nice kiss).

Anyways I was taken back a bit and uncomfortable by her saying 'I'm not going to sleep with you'. I wasn't hardcore macking her here, all of this just flowed naturally, I figured I'd go with the flow, see her place, maybe we'd smooch a bit or something--and in my mind sure if it led to sex, maybe--but I wasn't focusing on that or pushing that--and I understand she was being upfront which fine I'd rather have that than some weird games--but was just strange all around, threw the momentum off for me at least, and I don't know--I'm sure if I sarged it hard or said "okay" to 'no sexy' statement but still got touchy feely snuggly something may have happened. I pulled the eject button. Maybe too early. But I didn't have the desire honestly to sarge, I just wasn't feeling it, and I'm just tired of these weird games sometimes I guess...my motivation wasn't really in it...maybe she felt that..but I did enjoy some of that time there together.

Any insights on this? Ever have this happen before?

Just weird. Maybe I should have just played it cool through those statements and things would have unfolded naturally. The physical chemistry was there. My statement 'maybe I should crash at my place' could have been replaced by another statement that would have revved up a bit of her mojo or relaxed the situation. Live and learn I guess.

She meant: "I'm not going to sleep with you tonight." (I don't want you to think I'm a slvt, but if you play your cards right you WILL be fvcking my brains out.)

It's basically a way for chicks not to appear slvtty and then justify their behavior in their heads afterwards as "Well I told him I wasn't going to sleep with him but he persisted!"

She wanted you to play the game and get the hint: "Oh ok. I'm not going to sleep with you. I'm going to FVCK you and take the 'blame'!"

 

[yuppaz]

Ya - that pretty much always means they want to sleep with you. And as mentioned you just ignore it and keep talking / escalating. They want to be able to tell their friends that it just happened and it wasn't planned.

Last of this I got was from a chick I hung out with for an hour who was saying "only kissing, only kissing"...haha 20 minutes later, panties came off with the pants, got her soaking wet and just put it in her. Great sex

 

[mick b]

I froze 'not sleeping with you girl' from the above story out over the last few days. She kept texting me and I'd just make some stupid joke and ignore her, whereas usually I'd keep the conversation going all day out of boredom. She mysteriously appeared near me as I was walking out of the office today, and was talking about what a great time she had with me. Also told me she didn't have anything to do this weekend, so I told her I'd text her if I got bored.

I usually rely on good humor and conversation skills to get me by, but you guys are mad ****ing geniuses. I 180'd that situation by doing absolutely nothing.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

If what women said and did matched in anyway, there wouldn't be the hundreds of members on this forum that there are.