Im lookin for advice

[Walking Anomaly]

Hey all, hows life treatin ya?
Great

Well anyway, theres this girl i used to kick it with. We had lost touch a while back for about 6 months and now weve started talking recently again. I talk to her about once a week or less, but we have not met up again yet. We had lost touch because she had heard some stories that i was also kicking it with outher chicks while i was kickin it with her...but me and her were never official. Anyway, im pretty sure she's still holding on to that fact that i was also kickin it with other chicks.

Anyway, she sounds fine on the phone but it seems to be that im the one who calls her when we talk, like she wont call me because she still holdin on to what was mentioned before.

My question is, how can i dispell her "grudge" against me and make it so that im not always the one calling her?

Any advice is much appreciated

Thanks all

 

[aKademIKS KIDD]

that girl doesnt sound that dumb, but from what u say im not sure if you guys are on the same level, if u screwed her over and ur just now talkin to her once a week or so, and your the one calling, maybe you have to revise ur plan a lil bit. either put in more work and eventually she'll call you, or just quit while your ahead, thers probaly a reason why u talked to other girls while u were talkin to her...

 

[Walking Anomaly]

Thanks, also theres some things i think must be added...

what you said was correct, i did screw her over and we're now jus starting to talk again. The last time we were talking, she even brought up "us" and asked if i had planned to try and get back together. I told her "maybe, right now im not gettin ahead of myself." She said " well, cause it doesnt look like its gonna happen." "whatever" i said. In my mind now im taking what she said literally and saying to myself, 'well then why am i wasting time.'

but i must ask, what if theres some other meaning to what she said?, ya know, since women operate on a different level, and she may very well be like you said. Like what if she said that as a test to try and make me slip up and say something id regret like i love u or somethin (which i didnt do). I answered with what was written above. For example if i had said yes to her askin about getting back with her, shed think thats all i wanted. And if i had said no, shed think i was not interested in her anymore, hence not what she wants to hear. (talk about overanalyze)

I did notice that she also talks about other guys often when we chat...possibly to make me jealous and to make a move or again to let something slip. And when i talk about other girls to counter her, she quickly tries to dispell the thought of anything ever coming out of the encounters i have with these other women.

These are the things i felt needed to be added...dont hesitate to tell me if im overanalyzing, which even i think im doing, but the only stupid question is one that isnt asked, so let me know

Much appreciated
peace

 

[LikRetsam]

Never know until you get something done.

 

[aKademIKS KIDD]

hmm maybe you are over analyzing it a lil, but wait, what do u truly want wit her?

honestly, do u just wany some ass because u think shes available, or do u actually wanna start something, if your trying to get with her, she was testin you by asking you that, when u said u dont wanna get ahead of urself u hit strike 2, u already screwed her over once, ur confusing the heck outta her dawg...if u really wanna be wit her then feed her the basic bs...
"i was dumb back then, i didnt realize how much u meant to me...blah blah." but from what u said it honestly looks like you dont like her that much, plus when she talks about other guys, she really is tryin to make you jealous, and she wants to see how u respond to it, either that, your so far in the friend zone that u should be doing each other's hair. aha hit this thread up again if u need more advice

 

[Walking Anomaly]

Ahh so you think i was wrong in saying maybe to her? That it confused her...I had said it because we had just started talking again and she was bringing it up. I was tryin to add some anticipation to the whole thing by saying maybe, ya know? keep her guessing... i guess it takes on a different meaning when its someone you've already gone over...like if i had jus met her and said that itd be different cause she wouldnt be familiar with me and would jus amp her interest because she wouldnt kno if im interested...know what i mean??

And since you ask, i do wanna start something with her, so i should tell her some emotional stuff, like 'i was thinkin bout what you said and i dont like it' or something to that effect, and for example what you said?

let me know
Much appreciated

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

It is my experience that MOST GIRLS will not innitiate a level of communication unless you have innitiated a deeper level already. There are ALWAYS exceptions, especially to this rule, but let me elaborate:

Talkin on the phone is easy. Sure, its a step up from AIM, but its quite a bit different than meeting for a get together, which in turn is different than meeting for a date, which in turn is meeting for a special (holiday) date.

Once you invite her out for a cup of coffee, just to catch up on things (possibly after an extended absens from phone chatting), she wont have to display "commitment" to you by calling, because youve already progressed beyond the "phone call" stage. This is why most girls dont return phone calls, no matter how interested they are. Its a defense mechanism where they dont develop responsibility towards guys that early in the relationship.

So get beyond the calling stage again, and she will start calling you.

 

[aKademIKS KIDD]

tony thats an interesting concept right there, so basically there one step under the emtional ladder then we are?

 

[Walking Anomaly]

Yea i thought that was an interesting point also.

 

[Walking Anomaly]

bump