I'm 19 and my parents are making me pay rent

[andersonsmith969]

I spent most of my money on my first year of college--I was stone broke for a while, and I had to take a year off to make some more money.

I'm at home for this year and have a part-time job, still looking for another one or a full-time. Anyway, my dad says as long as I'm not actively in college (apparently taking a year off counts) I have to pay rent. MONTHLY rent.

I got this email from him today:

[Anderson], your mother and I are very proud of how you have found a part time job. We continue to cheer you on so you can one day decide and pursue your career dreams.

As promised, I am providing you monthly rent statements indicating how much you presently owe. The amount we are asking for is nowhere close to the actual costs we spend to provide for you (food, electricity, natural gas, house and car insurance, water, sewage, laundry expenses, wear and tear on the house, etc) but we did not want to burden you overly much.

We also understand you only just started working a part time job so your amount owed will be carried forward and added to next month without interest due. Please be aware that if by September you have not substantially paid down your rent debt we will ask you to find residence eslewhere as we cannot provide for another adult indefinately without that adult contributing a little to their own living expenses. Also remember that in November the rent becomes $300 per month as is befitting a 20 year old adult.

Mom and Dad

What's your opinion? Is this extreme? Sensible? Personally I can't help but feel that this is irresponsible of my father and that he would rather throw me out on my ass instead of preparing me for the adult world.

 

[andersonsmith969]

I think they are doing the right thing, absolutely. Making you responsible and creating ambition through showing you life DOES cost! Good for them!

Trust me, you WILL thank them for this down the road.

It really just seems like more expenses for me...I already have my ambitions, but all they want is for me to go and stay in college.

 

[5string]

So take out some student loans and get back into college.

Heck, I was overseas in the Infantry when I was 18 yrs old. Got out, got my education and never looked back.

Step it up. Your folks are spot on.

 

[backbreaker]

lol my mom kicked me out the house when i was 19 years old for no other reason than i was 19 years old lol. GTFO with this ****. my mom didn't even give me the option to pay rent she didnt' want my black ass at home with her no matter the circumstances.

some dudes. grow up, learn to be a man.

 

[backseatjuan]

<-- Russia


What you want from a f'cked up USA?

No, it's not normal. You need money for college -- I'm thinking it's a community college -- which means you poor. Your parents should A) help you with money so you can graduate, and B) provide with food and shelter so you don't think about those things while you study.

I'd write him back:


Do you really think I'm stupid and going to grow up to be nothing? I need money for college, I'm taking a year off to earn it. Least you could do is support me. I think, my personal opinion, you are over doing with responsibility thing. I am responsible, I am making money so I could study! Anyway, love you and mom, bye.

 

[andersonsmith969]

lol my mom kicked me out the house when i was 19 years old for no other reason than i was 19 years old lol. GTFO with this ****. my mom didn't even give me the option to pay rent she didnt' want my black ass at home with her no matter the circumstances.

some dudes. grow up, learn to be a man.

I think you should take your own advice.

So take out some student loans and get back into college.

I did, and now I owe the government a bunch of money on TOP of my rent, plus I need to get a car.

 

[5string]

<-- Russia


What you want from a f'cked up USA?

No, it's not normal. You need money for college -- I'm thinking it's a community college -- which means you poor. Your parents should A) help you with money so you can graduate, and B) provide with food and shelter so you don't think about those things while you study.

I'd write him back:


Do you really think I'm stupid and going to grow up to be nothing? I need money for college, I'm taking a year off to earn it. Least you could do is support me. I think, my personal opinion, you are over doing with responsibility thing. I am responsible, I am making money so I could study! Anyway, love you and mom, bye.

Gonna respectively disagree.

His parents owe him nothing after he turns 18 other than their love and emotional support.

 

[user43770]

First thing you need to do is determine if college is really for you. What do you plan on majoring in - what are the job prospects with that degree? Is it worth racking up the student loans?

The worst thing you can do is go to school because that's what everyone else says you should do. Figure out what you want in life first; odds are if it isn't a STEM degree, you shouldn't be messing around in college.

 

[andersonsmith969]

That's off-topic, but I agree.


I think my parents brought me into this world and they oughta do their best to deal with the consequences.

 

[user43770]

I think my parents brought me into this world and they oughta do their best to deal with the consequences.

It sounds to me like your dad is trying to get you away from this kind of attitude. He's trying to teach you work ethic and responsibility.

 

[[S]alvatore]

I think they are doing the right thing, absolutely. Making you responsible and creating ambition through showing you life DOES cost! Good for them!

Trust me, you WILL thank them for this down the road.

........

 

[Jitterbug]

It sounds to me like your dad is trying to get you away from this kind of attitude. He's trying to teach you work ethic and responsibility.

Spot on.

You're 19, not 9. You're an adult male now. Contribute to the family. It's the norm for every society and every culture.

The amount is fvck all. $300 a month (in 2013) and you can't pay it. Seriously??? I was out on my own at 18 and rent was way more even back then. The 19 y.o students I know are all paying at least double that per month just for rent, not including bills and foods. You're getting a bargain, your parents are supporting you by a huge amount already, exactly as your dad said.

Stop being a leech.

Also, learn financial responsibility. If you're broke, can't afford $300 a month rent, then you can't afford a car. Take public transport.

 

[Desdinova]

When I was 19, my dad started giving me curfews and demands that I come home for supper every day. He was pissed that I was spending so much time with my gf. When it really started getting out of hand, I decided that I was going to offer to pay for rent. I did that, and the curfews and demands only got worse. I was extremely stressed out and my gf's dad offered to let me move in and have me pay cheaper rent. I jumped at the opportunity, moved out, and gave a big fvck you to my dad. We didn't speak for about a year and a half.

I wasn't pissed about paying rent. I was pissed about having to pay rent and not be allowed my freedom.

So before you bytch about having to pay your parents money for living there, be thankful that this is all they're asking of you. You still have your freedom to go out and do whatever you want without having to deal with guilt trips, yelling, screaming, illogical debates, threats, insulting your gf, the possibility of them throwing all your 5hit out, etc.

 

[Fatal Jay]

Your dad is preparing you for the real world bro, he is turning you into a man, you don't see it now because teens think they know everything, you will thank him later and see his vision when you get much older.

 

[backseatjuan]

Vast majority of prostitutes in my city are from Ukraine! They come here and make money, I guess because their parents didn't invest enough into them.


I don't know, but I've been raised like this. For my offspring I want the best, and that means good education. If I have to work my ass off to get it to them, I'm gonna do it. All my family is like that, all my neighbors, everyone I know basically.

Now Ukraine and USA is a different story. It's like they are result of unprotected sex, unwanted, you raise them and kick them out when they turn 18. That's not right, you gotta get them through college so they become something, and hopefully do better than you.

So no, kid, you're an idiot. Sit.

 

[Jaylan]

OP, I understand your frustration, but I wouldnt say your parents are too off base.

From what Ive seen, in the case of a buddy-buddy parent-child relationship, parents usually start charging rent that young (under 22) when they could use a little help with expenses. In the case of more stern parent-child relationships, parents will charge rent at your age to get you ready for the real world, and not get you in the habit of mooching as an adult.

All that said, most people Ive known didnt have to pay rent or bills until they were out of college or almost done with college. Most parents understand how broke college kids are, and usually only asked for rent if the household really needed the extra money.

300 a month is a steal for what your parents provide. Even when I was in college, I generally bought most, if not all of my own food. And I paid for my own gas and cell phone of course. I couldnt afford my own car insurance or to chip in with household bills yet, but once i started working after graduation, I paid some rent.

All this being said, you are not even in school right now, so it makes sense that your parents not just let you sit around for free. My mom certainly wouldnt have let me stay home if I wasnt in school or working to contribute to the household.

EDIT: Lmao @ taking a break to earn money for college. Most kids I knew didnt stay out of school to make money for it. They worked while going to school to pay for it. Usually the kids who took year long breaks, took those breaks so they could work and use their money for fun. I doubt the OP is any different.

If money is such an issue, apply for grants, loans, and scholarships. My parents were not sitting on gold, so I was able to get grants during half of my college career, and a couple of scholarships. And none of that you have to pay back. It didnt cover all off my schooling, but it def helped with books and food when I was living up at school for the 2 semesters I didnt live at home.

The bulk of my education was payed for with loans though. A little less than $30k in loans isnt bad when you consider some of my friends have twice that in debt or even triple. I can pay that off in not too much time, and the education is worth it for the bump in earning potential.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I would be mad enough to disown them as parents and literally never talk to them again. Tell them to have fun growing old and dying alone.

If they are demanding rent, then they are no longer your parents, they are landlords. You have the right to a signed lease that spells out each side's responsibilities. They must also conform to all applicable landlord tenant law in your state. Is your house zoned as a multiple family rental? It might not be. The law is a little different everywhere, but you do have a right to demand that certain necessities be in working order, or else you don't have to pay rent. They must also go through the steps of a legal eviction in order to get you out of the house. I would make them do it just out of spite.

 

[Vice]

I would be mad enough to disown them as parents and literally never talk to them again. Tell them to have fun growing old and dying alone.

If they are demanding rent, then they are no longer your parents, they are landlords. You have the right to a signed lease that spells out each side's responsibilities. They must also conform to all applicable landlord tenant law in your state. Is your house zoned as a multiple family rental? It might not be. The law is a little different everywhere, but you do have a right to demand that certain necessities be in working order, or else you don't have to pay rent. They must also go through the steps of a legal eviction in order to get you out of the house. I would make them do it just out of spite.

You're not wrong... you're just an *******

If he were to do that, he would have to review both state AND county landlord-tenant laws, as well as anything pertaining to renting a room.

 

[Justin Time]

Anderson:

Take this advice from me. Your parents are right. You'll be glad they did this. There are many subliminal messages beneath the surface of the entire situation. Your dad knows you very well. Believe it or not, this is a nudge to make sure you finish college. That is just one of the messages I'm getting. He's also not forcing you to do it, which means if you have a better option, take it. The only time I stayed with my parents when I was 19, was during the summer time, and for one semester during my senior year. After that, I graduated when I was 22 and stayed with them for a couple months until I found a job. Once I did that, I was out of the house, never to return.

It's called responsibility. If you weren't able to find a job, they wouldn't press you for rent...Actually, they're not even pressing you. They wont charge you interest or late fees. Who knows, they might be planning on putting that money away for you until you go back to college and give it to you in a lump sum. They seem like the type to do that.

Don't doubt your parents. They did a very good job so far and are just trying to finish up. Accept it like a man, and the rewards will be worth it. Good luck.

 

[Bokanovsky]

lol my mom kicked me out the house when i was 19 years old for no other reason than i was 19 years old lol. GTFO with this ****. my mom didn't even give me the option to pay rent she didnt' want my black ass at home with her no matter the circumstances.

Your mother kicked you out because you're black? Isn't she black too?