Idiotic approach at the bus stop

[AreYouSingleFemale]

I was travelling by city bus to work and there was this girl at the busstop who caught my eye, so I GOT OFF (haha) the bus. Would have directly walked upto her but noticed some crowd near her, also waiting for the bus and this unnerved me. Pretended to wait for a bus, and then when the crowd had departed was about to talk to her when she would start texting on her cellphone. Also I hesitated a little more because her facial expression was serious. And another time just when I was about to disturb her she called up someone and talked for sometime. Then
"Hi, I was for my bus and noticed you are really attractive." <pause>
"I would be kicking myself if I did not come over and talk to you"
There was some traffic noise at this time and I had to repeat the above sentence twice for her to get it.
"Why would you kick yourself?" (asked very matter of factedly, not in a funny way)
I was thrown offguard, because noone has ever asked this (or not walked away or ignored me after that line)
"Because you are really attractive and I would have missed the chance to speak and get to know"
<she keeps silent.>
"Can I ask a female opinion on something? I'm planning on approaching women today, and this is my first approach of the day. I want to know what is the best way to approach - directly or indirectly"
"I think why not just direct approach" (or something along that line, there was traffic noise)
"Right, and indirectly would have been something like, 'where is the nearest coffee shop'.."
"Direct or indirect, why do you want to approach?"
(Again I'm thrown offguard, gave an idiotic reply)
"You know, just to get to know someone, for dating, relationships..."
"Not interested"
"There is a first time for everything, you know, and it could be anywhere.."
"Not interested"
I was cursing myself, she had not been completely dismissive (so many other women would just ignore me). I even had forced a very slight smile on her face.. And yet I had not used it to my advantage.
"Can we may be talk again later and get to know more?"
"No"
I walked away.

 

[Arts]

What a *****.

 

[AreYouSingleFemale]

anybody else wants to reply ?

 

[tosh]

Dude... it almost looked like you designed the entire approach in a way to minimize your chances of success. Not going up to her directly, starting off by telling her she's hot, mentionning a relationship by the 3rd sentence, etc...

What's the deal?

 

[FreD_BeaR]

This must have been painful. I feel bad for you. What exactly did you expect her to say? the questions you asked were silly imo. Directly or indirectly? So you are trying to be indirect by being direct?

Im just not sure what your plan of attack in all of this was. Its great that you went up to a female, thats awesome. And its great that you took it so well. But you didnt seem quite prepared, and seemed a bit confused on your approach, which im sure she sensed. Im going to assume, you werent all that smooth.

go talk to women and be confident and collected. dont say hey i saw you from afar and thought you were hot, so I came over here because i want to bring you home and have sexual intercourse. because thats pretty much what youre saying when you did what you did.

 

[r0cky]

Its ok bro, a few more of these failed approaches and you will develop a strong skin. This is like falling off your bike while learning how to ride, you'll fall a few more times, but less and less often. Just keep at it and soon you'll be riding without hands.

 

[flint]

Honestly this is why I don't like direct game at all. I feel like direct game only works if it's somehow apparently obvious that you have tons of money, status, or great looks. Otherwise if you're just playing game like everyone else you need to neg them. Plus I feel like there's always somewhat of a creepy vibe to direct game. Next time ask for directions or something like that.

 

[Ice882]

wow...took balls...but it wouldn't have if you did it right...you went in all wrong...but then had the courage to keep pushing....wow...that was painful to read.

 

[Igetit!]

....wow...that was painful to read.

Freakin' right on.


Reading that make me cringe.



You've got the courage to approach,and that's good,but man...I almost don't know what to say.



The girl's reaction was completely NORMAL. I say that because in the past,I used to get reactions like that.



Dude,you've been here since 2007. Haven't you learned anything in all that time? I would call that approach AFC,but calling it AFC would be a step UP.


That was just freakin' HORRID.



Direct and indirect game is what WE discuss and arm ourselves with BEFORE going out to approach. Why are you talking to the girls YOU APPROACH about approaching styles?


That's flat out ridiculous.



I don't know what to say dude. If this is how you approach after being a member here going on 3 years,I doubt anything anybody says now will suddenly help you out.


At least you got the title for this thread right,lol.

 

[AreYouSingleFemale]

My approach was copied from a PUA video where he stops a woman walking to Burger King and says
"Hello there, this is my first approach of the day, and I need to ask you a very quick question before I go out into the field. Do you think it is better to approach direct or indirect?"

It went very well for him and he set up a date within 2 minutes. I find this to be the easiest direct opener. The other one I use also is saying she is really attractive. Only today I used both the lines on the girl.
I think my failure was really the answer I gave to her question why I approach - "for dating, relationships.." Nothing else came up to my mind to say. I will think of something better to say.

But how else to approach direct other than to refer to her attractiveness or by saying I'm out here to pickup chicks? I have done similar kind of thing few other times in the past. Most of the time they walk away after I stop them on the street and one sentence. 2 girls have atleast smiled or tried to suppress a smile when I threw the "directly or indirectly" opener, but walked away. 2 girls have given a phone number/email id after I threw the "found you really attractive. give me your phone number" opener, but only did so to get rid of me (as one chick admitted by email).

 

[AreYouSingleFemale]

And yesterday I threw the "I was waiting for my cab, I found you very beautiful , and just had to say hi" to a girl at the busstop. She turned her face away. When I said
"So, you are waiting for your college bus or something?"
she said
"Sorry I don't talk to strangers"
I said "Well, there is a first time for everything you know"
She ignored me and kept her face turned away.

Atleast one other girl has said the same sentence "I don't talk to strangers" to me, and many others behaved by it without saying.

Not like only direct approaches fail. I have opened up another girl on the busstop who just spit on the road, by saying "That is not a nice thing to do", and it led to the longest conversation I ever had with a girl just met, but even she refused to give me her number and only gave a fake email id.

 

[DavenJuan]

AYSF,

you have recieved "props" for having the balls to actually get OFF the bus and approach some strange women. this is definitely something that most guys CLAIM they would do, but to scared. i give you props as well.

USE THIS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

the reason why your approach went wrong is because there was no sincerity. you trying to use another "scenerio" MAY work in some cases, but you have to have confidence in what you are saying.

the approach that you used that you got from some PUA was probably done with a bit of sarcasm. you would have been MUCH better off by simply being completely honest.

there would have been nothing wrong with going up to her and having a geniune conversation. " hey, i just wanted to let you know that i physically jumped off the bus across the street to come talk to you.. whats your name..?"

" you know you owe me bus fare now.. i just cut my bustrip short to come speak to you..hi, my name is AYSF"

and HOW you say things are just important if not MORE important than what you are actually saying. it all should be done with a sense of humor, a smirk something that says you might be joking, but maybe youre serious.

she MAY have still rejected you or not. but atleast the conversation was legit.

anything that is geniune will work better than scripted material. as long as you show some confidence, BELIEVE what you say and have a desired outcome.

And yesterday I threw the "I was waiting for my cab, I found you very beautiful , and just had to say hi" to a girl at the busstop. She turned her face away. When I said
"So, you are waiting for your college bus or something?"
she said
"Sorry I don't talk to strangers"
I said "Well, there is a first time for everything you know"
She ignored me and kept her face turned away.

Atleast one other girl has said the same sentence "I don't talk to strangers" to me, and many others behaved by it without saying.

Not like only direct approaches fail. I have opened up another girl on the busstop who just spit on the road, by saying "That is not a nice thing to do", and it led to the longest conversation I ever had with a girl just met, but even she refused to give me her number and only gave a fake email id.

brother, keep in mind that MOST women dont feel comfortable talking to people they dont know. your not the first person nor will you be the last to get rejected.

as far as the "stranger" comment, the simplest way to get around that is say..

" my name is AYSF, i have two dogs, my moms name is brenda, my favorite movie is Swingers, (etc.) .. now we are not strangers"

my guess is, you either come off extremely serious or completely ingeniune. have fun approaching. see how far you can go. but if anything, dont forget to have FUN.

 

[Tyson420]

She probably thought it was scripted.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Saying "I just thought you were beautiful so I had to talk to you" puts all of your cards on the table. The girl knows exactly what you're going for, and unless you're incredibly suave about it it's going to fail, because first she already knows she's got you in the bag, and because second who does that?

It's way too direct and doesn't offer her anything. Plus, as others have said, she probably determined that it was scripted/not genuine and when that happens then you're an instant creep.

When you introduce yourself to someone you are setting the stage for that person's entire perspective on you from then on. When you introduce yourself by saying what you said you are not displaying yourself as someone worth talking to, much less someone worth pursuing. So you first have to display yourself as someone worth pursuing, and then you can go from there.

 

[Alextheegreat]

I was travelling by city bus to work and there was this girl at the busstop who caught my eye, so I GOT OFF (haha) the bus. Would have directly walked upto her but noticed some crowd near her, also waiting for the bus and this unnerved me. Pretended to wait for a bus, and then when the crowd had departed was about to talk to her when she would start texting on her cellphone. Also I hesitated a little more because her facial expression was serious. And another time just when I was about to disturb her she called up someone and talked for sometime. Then
"Hi, I was for my bus and noticed you are really attractive." <pause>
"I would be kicking myself if I did not come over and talk to you"
There was some traffic noise at this time and I had to repeat the above sentence twice for her to get it.
"Why would you kick yourself?" (asked very matter of factedly, not in a funny way)
I was thrown offguard, because noone has ever asked this (or not walked away or ignored me after that line)
"Because you are really attractive and I would have missed the chance to speak and get to know"
<she keeps silent.>
"Can I ask a female opinion on something? I'm planning on approaching women today, and this is my first approach of the day. I want to know what is the best way to approach - directly or indirectly"
"I think why not just direct approach" (or something along that line, there was traffic noise)
"Right, and indirectly would have been something like, 'where is the nearest coffee shop'.."
"Direct or indirect, why do you want to approach?"
(Again I'm thrown offguard, gave an idiotic reply)
"You know, just to get to know someone, for dating, relationships..."
"Not interested"
"There is a first time for everything, you know, and it could be anywhere.."
"Not interested"
I was cursing myself, she had not been completely dismissive (so many other women would just ignore me). I even had forced a very slight smile on her face.. And yet I had not used it to my advantage.
"Can we may be talk again later and get to know more?"
"No"
I walked away.

I thought I was bad but this is worse as all hell. First of all, you just told her she pretty ect, you lost her when you told her that. Second you don't ask if we can talk again, all women will just say no, you tell her lets talk again tomorrow, tell me your number. Thirdly, you were scared ****less, don't set yourself up to fail like you did. You need to start small, like go around and talk to different people. I just recently finished week 2 of my DJ bible and my confidence just keeps growing. Start small, get the foundation, then work your way up, a building wouldn't be standing today if it was built without a foundation, yes it will stand here and there for a couple of days but it will soon just fall over.

Ps. don't use pick up lanes, they are lame as hell, just be natural man.

 

[londonzen]

made me cringe abit.
never use canned lines coz she must of been thinking, what is this guy when you couldnt answer. and she is almost certainley laughing at you to her friends.

 

[Tyson420]

When she asks you these disarming questions, those were chances to build rapport. If you give stupid answers obviously it's going to be scripted like where the **** did you get this from?

I don't know man... You should have just said whatever, say something funny, I mean it's supposed to be funny, but you weren't you were just awkward and she wasn't laughing.

This has fail written all over it.

 

[Rescue Mission]

we all gotta start somewhere right?

Areyousinglefemale, I am hoping that this is one of your first approaches ever, and that you have not been approaching women for months and years already!

You can use this approach to learn what mistakes you made, and how to make better approaches in the future. The 1 KEY thing to always remember, is that you can talk to whoever you want, whenever you want, your life is in YOUR hands, so never worry about what anyone else thinks

Make enough of these creepy approaches, and you will learn soon enough how to approach better. Eventually, after 100's of approaches, you will get closer and closer to being a natural at it.

just keep in mind that you want to look and dress as hot as possible, because there is nothing that a beautiful woman likes more than a charming gorgeous guy. The guy that can melt a woman's heart by just saying hi to her, is the guy that will not be blown off during a cold approach if he doesn't always say the right thing.

 

[Tyson420]

Scheming on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I've got no game
And every face looks the same
They've got no name
So I don't need game to play
I just say whatever I want to whoever I want
Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want

-Eminem.

 

[AreYouSingleFemale]

Let me admit, unlike many of you say I'm not a complete beginner, I've been approaching for months and years. I feel ashamed from reading your comments and I feel clueless. It was a scripted opener alright, but I was not being dishonest and meant my words. But does anyone really think a "genuine" opener like "Hi, How are you doing" will work on a complete stranger at a busstop? Does saying "Can I join you" at a coffee shop for example count as a non-scripted opener? These kinds of openers usually lead to nowhere (unless the girl herself is very friendly) unlike you ask some opinion or something, which again is not scripted?
And in my opinion coffee shops seem to be overrated for pickups. I have approached 2 chicks talking to each other, and said "Hey guys can I ask you a very quick question if you dont mind" and they almost always simply stare at me (unlike PUA Alex Coulson videos where they eagerly say "Yes!") and then they ask me to leave right when I boldly pulled in a chair for myself or after asked that much needed opinion - which usually is
"Would you ever date a guy who still sleeps with a childhood memory, like a teddybear or something?" asked after trying to create "suspense" (but only receive blank stares) by saying it is a very important opener, a matter of life and death (just like my guru Alex Coulson)