i think this married woman loves me but is she takin me for a ride??

[Walker9]

a year ago i met this married woman on the internet . we were friends and friendship progressed to love . i never took any intrest in her husband because even before i met her , i had a vague idea that she had an ******* of a husband .

so we were in love and we spoke all the time on the phone ( she lives in another state 300 miles away ) . and one day she told me the story of her marriage and her life . she was young and she got married in a conservative society thru a match making service . before the marriage took place her would be husband and she had sex , which she says was not entirely her wish . but due to fear of social stigma , as she comes from a very conservative society , she feared that her would be hubby would back out of the marriage and she gave in and they had sex which left her feeling ****ed . But she thought that this would be ok " i had to be screwed some time " , im marrying this guy , so wat the **** .

her husband is a very well educated , reputed , fella who's a big shot in a mining company and he earns a lot of money .

after marriage , she finds out that her husband is schizophrenic and this was keep away from her . he hits her , abuses her . but then besides the schizophrenic episodes , even when he is a normal fella , he is nasty . in the sense , trying to have sex all the time , not giving her money , making her work and pay for her own expenses . threatening to throw her out , not allowing her to visit her family at times . she copes with everything and she develops a coping pattern .

she and her husband also go to a lot of parties and take vacations and the expensive thing . she has a taste for high living . but somehwre inside she felt hollow and she fell in love with me .

i met her and we spent time , had sex , but it was love both for me and her . i did not ask her anything about divorcing her ******* of a husband , since i feel it has to come from her .

she started acting weird when i returned to my hometown utah . fights over the phone , blame throw for messin up her complex life etc .

i understood that she was finding it difficult to live with that ******* of a husband after meeting me / having a relationship with me .bt then she would fight for " no reason " . then she tells me that its not possible for her to divorce her husband and get married to me . I told her that i never asked her to get divorced in the first place .and she says i love u but i gotta be with him , for the sake of my parents and avoiding social stigma which comes from a ultra conservative society.

Me and her are not americans by birth ,we some from a country where breaking a marriage is still considered taboo by people ( *******s )

i have done quite something for her , and she says she got all that she got from me which she never did from her hubby of 3 and 1/2 years . including love , affection , warmth , cooperation , phsyical satisfaction from sex , generosity ( gave her a few gifts ) , compassion towards her situation , respect towards her and her family ( parents etc )

now she has stopped talking , though not entirely . instead of fighting with her husband who still treats her like toilet tissue , she fights with me , and she goes out with her husband saying " she has to do the things a dutiful woman wuld as a wife " and she's stuck here in this situation forever .

her reasons for staying with her husband are

1. fear of social stigma
2. she came to the united states on the basis of her husbands job / visa
so she doesnt qualify for a visa independently

but i think that she has a taste for high life also . besides that she always has said that she is proud of her husbands achievements. also i noticed that she goes out with her husband ( which is obvious ) and she tries to have a good time and she does . she doesnt have the nerve to fight back with her husband.

and she has subconsciously chosen to forget what he has done to her . she is kind of happy with the status and the make beleive happiness she gets , and im sure her husband has been nice to her at times , but he also has beaten her up badly,abused her sexually , and all that .

tell me guys , what do i do . I KNOW SHE LOVES ME , I LOVE HER TOO . IS THERE A WAY I CAN GET HER TO BREAK AWAY FROM THE DIP**** THAT SHE CALLS HER MARRIAGE . IVE LOST HOPE

I HAVE NOT WRITTEN IT ALL COZ THAT WOULD BE A ****ING LONG STORY

APPRECIATE YOUR REPLIES GUYS . BAD SITUATION , IM EMOTIONALLY VERY INVOLVED , THIS IS SERIOUS .

 

[decades]

a year ago i met this married woman Strike 1 !!!!
on the Internet... Strike 2 !!!!!!!!
she lives in another state 300 miles away.... Strike 3 !!!!!!!

You're OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!


Wow rarely has one post contained SO MANY miscues from one guy. But, that's why we are here. To straighten you out, hopefully in a way that allows you to learn from this mess and to build a great new life.

She Does NOT love you. If she did, she would be by your side right now, instead of getting a BACK Rub from her husband who sees her Naked every single night that she is not out HOing around. She DOES NOT love you. Repeat after me. She does not Love You. She is USING you.

You need to ditch her, FALL out of "Love" with this HO, start building a LIFE outside her, start seeing other women, meet women In real life, meet AVAILable women, meet women in YOUR area that you can actually have a real physical relationship with, QUIT being a Cap'n-save-a-ho, Quit Rescuing damaged women, QUIT being a woman's Therapist, Quit being CO-dependent, QUIT messing with unavailable, USING married women who are playing Both You, and her chump husband, for the fools you are.

This is a Disaster of gargantuan proportions that you have yourself in, and the sooner you extricate yourself from this dirty sloppy Mess of a "relationship", the sooner you can begin to build a life that WORKS. But it won't be easy because of how far far off course you find yourself.

 

[KingBeef]

a year ago i met this married woman Strike 1 !!!!
on the Internet... Strike 2 !!!!!!!!
she lives in another state 300 miles away.... Strike 3 !!!!!!!

You're OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!


Wow rarely has one post contained SO MANY screw ups from one guy.

You need to ditch her, FALL out of "Love", start building a LIFE outside her, start seeing other women, meet women In real life, meet AVAILable women, meet women in YOUR area that you can actually have a real physical relationship with, QUIT being a Cap'nsave-a-ho, Quit Rescuing damaged women, QUIT being a woman's Therapsist, Quit being CO-dependent, QUIT messing with unavailable, USING married women who are playing Both You, and her chump husband, for the fools you are.

This is a Disaster of gargantuan proportions that you have yourself in, and the sooner you extricate yourself from this sloppy Mess of a "relationship", the sooner you can begin to build a life that WORKS. But it won't be easy because of how far far off course you find yourself.

 

[Walker9]

yeah buddy king beef , i have to start thinking on these lines . but it all seemed true , because i was smart enough to get to her house where we dint have sex , i did something better , i asked to see the husbands medical diagnosis . it was all on paper , black and white . and i spoke to her family too , generally but well why wud she introduce me to her family if she was HO . now this all made it seem true . i aint challenging wat u say , becoz wat ur saying is the best way for me to have a good life . why i have posted this forum is that maybe i can learn and others can learn the way these things work and the way these women tick ... appreciate your further feedback .. thanks

 

[Bible_Belt]

People mean well for you when they tell you to forget about her. She has obviously chosen him. Her words mean nothing. You will do the best to forget about her. If she wants to see you so badly, she can arrange a vacation for herself to fly to you at her husband's expense to re-live your good times. Otherwise, don't waste your time talking to her; there's no point. Whatever you do, you have to move on and see other women. Good luck.

 

[Being_the_Don]

Are you and the woman from the same country?

 

[Walker9]

i totally understand and im thankful to all you guys wh have posted her biblebelt . i know myself for a fact that i gotta move on .

i reitereate wat i said : wat is it that these women do things like these ?
wat makes them tick ...

im sure if this is discussed here , all of us ( me first ) , can get an insight and that too a good one into the way these women think , and that could be helpful.

forums are after all a place where you share and learn and others share and learn ...... because i believe that the wise man is the one who learns from others mistakes not his own .

 

[Walker9]

yes we both are from the same country.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

There is no 'real' love over a internet connection!!!

 

[suavesuave]

movie name pls?
gotta watch it.

 

[Walker9]

There is no 'real' love over a internet connection!!!

yeah probably ur rite , there's no real love

so wat is this woman ? a con artist ?

 

[Walker9]

movies buddy arre after all inspired by drama in real life ... not that i want drama ... but thats wat movies are , bits and pieces put together on 70 mm film from experiences and happenings in people's own lives .

 

[nismo-4]

a year ago i met this married woman Strike 1 !!!!
on the Internet... Strike 2 !!!!!!!!
she lives in another state 300 miles away.... Strike 3 !!!!!!!

You're OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!


Wow rarely has one post contained SO MANY miscues from one guy. But, that's why we are here. To straighten you out, hopefully in a way that allows you to learn from this mess and to build a great new life.

She Does NOT love you. If she did, she would be by your side right now, instead of getting a BACK Rub from her husband who sees her Naked every single night that she is not out HOing around. She DOES NOT love you. Repeat after me. She does not Love You. She is USING you.

You need to ditch her, FALL out of "Love" with this HO, start building a LIFE outside her, start seeing other women, meet women In real life, meet AVAILable women, meet women in YOUR area that you can actually have a real physical relationship with, QUIT being a Cap'n-save-a-ho, Quit Rescuing damaged women, QUIT being a woman's Therapist, Quit being CO-dependent, QUIT messing with unavailable, USING married women who are playing Both You, and her chump husband, for the fools you are.

This is a Disaster of gargantuan proportions that you have yourself in, and the sooner you extricate yourself from this dirty sloppy Mess of a "relationship", the sooner you can begin to build a life that WORKS. But it won't be easy because of how far far off course you find yourself.

Hi muthaf**kin' 5! This sh*t needs to be in da DJ Bible!

You shouldn't try to make real love over the internet. Cap'n Crunch, Cap'n America, Cap'n Planet, ANYTHING BUT CAP'N SAV-A-HO! Kick her whiny butt to da curb. DO IT NOW!

You should really keep in mind that there is no substitute for meeting women in real life. This is a trap, and the quicker you bail, the happier you'll be. There's no proof this b**ch loves you. She is leading you around wrong.

 

[Being_the_Don]

yes we both are from the same country.

That might have been what attracted the two of you to each other. Utah is not a very large state and-correct me if I'm wrong- is not very diverse. You were looking to connect with someone of your own nationality/ethnicity and she was regretting some mistakes she had made when she agreed to be this guy's mail order bride. One reason she won't leave him is that he is providing for her; if she came from an impoverished household it was easy for her to prostitute herself to this guy. Regardless of what she might have told you she married this guy for status, money and a chance to immigrate to the States so what she did is indeed a form of prostitution. No doubt she didn't think much of the guys in her own country to have gotten involved with a guy with whom she had nothing in common. That's something you should think about. It seems to me that you might have been operating under the "scarcity mentality" and this woman took advantage of it. She might have sex with you but she won't leave you for him, because you will never be able to provide her with the status that she craves. If she's cheating on him with you the odds are very high that she is or will cheat on him with other guys. If she does leave him-and there is a good chance that she will do that-it will be for another guy from whom she would be able to reap similar benefits which leaves you out.

Drop her from your life.

 

[Zenon]

...and than i thought i have problems...

 

[Walker9]

That might have been what attracted the two of you to each other. Utah is not a very large state and-correct me if I'm wrong- is not very diverse. You were looking to connect with someone of your own nationality/ethnicity and she was regretting some mistakes she had made when she agreed to be this guy's mail order bride. One reason she won't leave him is that he is providing for her; if she came from an impoverished household it was easy for her to prostitute herself to this guy. Regardless of what she might have told you she married this guy for status, money and a chance to immigrate to the States so what she did is indeed a form of prostitution. No doubt she didn't think much of the guys in her own country to have gotten involved with a guy with whom she had nothing in common. That's something you should think about. It seems to me that you might have been operating under the "scarcity mentality" and this woman took advantage of it. She might have sex with you but she won't leave you for him, because you will never be able to provide her with the status that she craves. If she's cheating on him with you the odds are very high that she is or will cheat on him with other guys. If she does leave him-and there is a good chance that she will do that-it will be for another guy from whom she would be able to reap similar benefits which leaves you out.

Drop her from your life.

there are some facts i need to mention here : she comes from a rich family .
when she got married she was not living in the united states . she came to the united states only after 2 years of marriage along with her husband .

she does care about status , and living really well , but ive seen her place , ive spent time with her . she manages her expenses herself . she does get to go places , but in fact what ive noticed is that she wears ordinary stuff nothing designer . she has designer stuff but i dont think she has much of it . but i beleive these guys are applying for a green card . and they are paying mortgage like 3500 $ a month for the apartment which they bought . though i dunno how much cash they threw into it initially . but bottom line BEING THE DON is that ive seen her providing for herself . what i think is she is just getting " america " which she likes so much that she doesnt want to go back to our home country . and for the sake of america she is staying on . which is wrong , because if i were to choose between america or canada or france or anyplace and happiness and freedom , i would choose to be happy and free. WHAT DO U MAKE OF THIS ??

next ...... ive spoken to her parents on very general lines and smehow i know that they are aware partially of their daughter being mistreated . this woman and i and that husband , we come from a country where marriages are arranged ... which means guy and a gurl meet each other with their families . they talk about things and they decide if they wanna be married . the decision depends mostly on : the guys education , some physical appearance , financial status . but love is no where in the picture .

the girls decision depends on : if the guy is well educated , financialy good , has a good job and cmes from a family of some decent repute .

smart girls think of emotional compatibility and things like appearance . but a majority of the girls do not think of these thinks and when they get a guy who's well educated , wealthy and a bit more on the looks front than the average chump .... they and their families think they've hit the gold mine . and they think yeahhhh ... love will happen ...

sometimes this works and many marriages succeed , and many times it doesnt too .

in this particular case , this guy is schizophrenic which he and his family dint tell her when the marriage was arranged .

also this guy is smart , he acts like an idiot but he seems to be a dominating fella who knows how to make the right impression . i congratulate him . he;'s a real player , a first class con man .

the apartment in which these guys live in looks like an apartment where just a man and woman cohabit , eat , sleep , have sex watch tv . photographs and memories are there but it smacks of a marriage which is on the rocks ... things strewn around , untidy clothes hanging on doors , smell of cigarette smoke .
WHAT DO YOU THINK GUYS , CMON LETS SEE HOW THESE THINGS WORK ? IM FEELING CHEATED , IM MOVING ON , BUT THERE'S SOMETHING TO BE LEARNT ... CMON GUYYS KEEP THE POSTS COMING

 

[Walker9]

You were looking to connect with someone of your own nationality/ethnicity and she was regretting some mistakes she had made when she agreed to be this guy's mail order bride.

Drop her from your life.

well yeah u are right utah is not very diverse . but i wasnt lookin for nuthin , i was dating some nice girls , they were americans and they were real nice . im dating them again but none too seriously . the only reason i went ahead with this chick was that she connected with me emotionally much more than anyone that ive ever met . ive see her tears and ive seen her emotions ranging from happiness , anger , frustration to hopelessness. socially she is very correct , very adept at making the right impression , saying the right thing in the right place at the right time ..

but i wasnt lookin for anything , in fact i cusss myself for gettin into this becoz i was dating this nice chick debbie who was a pathologist and we had hit it off real well . even made out twice and it could have gone further . then debbie went for a training programme to texas and that was the time somehow i met this chick online ...

 

[Walker9]

hey guys , keep the responses coming

 

[Walker9]

new development

to all those who been followin this thread :

UPdate : now she is stopped all communication with me . says its too complicated for her 2 handle .

i guess i learnt my lesson the hard way . but wat do u guys make of this , its simple to me but apart from the usual answers ; she's used u as an emotional tampon , she's used u for company , she's used u for sex ,

CAN WE HAVE SOMETHING DEEPER DELVING INTO THE FEMALE PSYCHE

KEEP THE POSTS COMING

 

[Prod]

to all those who been followin this thread :

UPdate : now she is stopped all communication with me . says its too complicated for her 2 handle .

i guess i learnt my lesson the hard way . but wat do u guys make of this , its simple to me but apart from the usual answers ; she's used u as an emotional tampon , she's used u for company , she's used u for sex ,

CAN WE HAVE SOMETHING DEEPER DELVING INTO THE FEMALE PSYCHE

KEEP THE POSTS COMING

The answers are simple because the situation does not take a university degree to analyse.. Woman approaches these things with her feelings, not with any degree of logic.

Of course, she will justify these things with her friends in an orgy of groupthink. "It just felt right." "He may be the one." "I just couldn't resist him." "I might be in love." and "The chemistry wasn't right." "He never made me feel appreciated."

This is not in itself an issue, it has been like this since time immemorial. What is an issue is men like you and me being drawn into this charade and actually indulging this BS instead of drawing our own conclusions based on their actions. That is the true curse of the AFC.