I need u guys to analyze this conversation for me!

[hjsknksbm]

This is my first time talking to this girl, except for introducing myself, a few days before. We met at a student organization and swapped s/n's. I think i ****ed up big time. But some pointers would be good. I would like u guys to tell me exactly what I said wrong.

Hjsknksbm: hey there
Hjsknksbm: it's joe from UFS
: The libertarian?
Hjsknksbm: that's me
: How's it going, man?
Hjsknksbm: chillin
Hjsknksbm: how bout u, girl?
: Nothing much, I was just talking to my sister online.
Hjsknksbm: That's nice. I'm an only child.
: Aw, pobrecito! Who do you complain to about your parents?
Hjsknksbm: my friends i guess
Hjsknksbm: so what r u doin sat?
: Going to the party.
Hjsknksbm: UFS?
: Yeah
Hjsknksbm: maybe i should go
: Yeah, sure, why not?
Hjsknksbm: it could get boring since it's a small party
: Eh, maybe.
Hjsknksbm: i was contacted by the libertarian headquarters in florida today
: Yeah, what did they say?
Hjsknksbm: they want to make me the florida state respresentitive
: Alright...POWER!
: Are you going to do it?
Hjsknksbm: hell ya!
: Mad props to you, bro
Hjsknksbm: thanks girl
: What all does that entail?
Hjsknksbm: what?
: Being the representative
Hjsknksbm: well we were planning to set up a student organization, but the guy has to get me more information
: Ah
Hjsknksbm: hey, do you want to go out sometime?
: Well, I just met you.
Hjsknksbm: well if i told you too much then that would make us friends (I think this was a mistake)
: What's wrong with being friends?
Hjsknksbm: do you really want me to break it down for u? (This was definatly my blunder)
: Well, see, friendship is very important to me. I like to be friends with people first so that I know what I'm getting myself into. I don't really date.
Hjsknksbm: C, I've had bad experiences with being friends with the opposite sex
Hjsknksbm: once ur friends their is usually no turning back and i usually get hurt, and then i have to end the friendship
Hjsknksbm: it's all a matter of self-respect
: I'm sorry to hear that you've been hurt. You seem like a cool guy, but I'm just not interested.
Hjsknksbm: well at least we stated our intentions
: Thank you for being honest with me. I really respect that.
Hjsknksbm: so why don't u date?
: I'm not really interested in anyone. And I think dating skews your perception. You build up expectations about people that blind you to reality.
Hjsknksbm: u c if you chase a "fantasy" it will never come true because u think of it as a fantasy. this automatically says it can't come true
Hjsknksbm: what do u think the purpose of life is?
: Whoa, that was a really heavy question...and out of left field too.
: Offhand, I would say to help others
Hjsknksbm: i donno it's just came to mind
Hjsknksbm: it's something i ask everyone
: And you really expect them to know at such a young age?
Hjsknksbm: i think this conversation went into the wrong direction. I didn't want to get into a serious conversation.
: Sorry, man. I guess what I meant to say is that the purpose of life is to laugh.
Hjsknksbm: by the way thanx for being honest with me. Now we can be friends.
: Hey, maybe you can have a functional friendship with someone of the opposite sex now.
: And thank YOU for being honest with me. I really appreciate that.
: Well, Joe, I have to do some reading for class tomorrow. But definitely let me know when you've got some more info from the libertarian guy. Will I see you at the next meeting?
Hjsknksbm: defiantly
Hjsknksbm: ;-)
: G'night!
Hjsknksbm: peace out!
signed off at 10:53 PM

 

[chlywly]

Nothing to analyse, what you see is what you get, you jumped the gun too quick.. You don't know her, besides you should ask her to go out at "LEAST" over the phone not on the damn internet , but getting to know her better; talking to her a few more times would have been nice.

 

[Julian]

I think it went alright besides you saying how you got hurt.

This chick is a waste of time. You tried and she denied you, oh well.

i think this conversation went into the wrong direction. I didn't want to get into a serious conversation

Never say something like this to anyone, its just stupid.

by the way thanx for being honest with me. Now we can be friends.

^^This is translated to = "Hi my name is AFC HEHE! =D"

 

[LikRetsam]

WOW.

Have you read the Bible?
Ok, stay away from the internet. Do your stuff up front.
Jesus dude, you just let it rip on her. Don't bring questions like those into your first convo. Keep it light and short. And don't ask her out online... Wow!!! Talking to her about LJBF big nono.
Eh... Read the Bible.

 

[Frank Zappa]

Originally posted by hjsknksbm
Hjsknksbm: well if i told you too much then that would make us friends (I think this was a mistake)
syrinx2164: What's wrong with being friends?
Hjsknksbm: do you really want me to break it down for u? (This was definatly my blunder)
syrinx2164: Well, see, friendship is very important to me. I like to be friends with people first so that I know what I'm getting myself into. I don't really date.
Hjsknksbm: C, I've had bad experiences with being friends with the opposite sex
Hjsknksbm: once ur friends their is usually no turning back and i usually get hurt, and then i have to end the friendship
Hjsknksbm: it's all a matter of self-respect
syrinx2164: I'm sorry to hear that you've been hurt. You seem like a cool guy, but I'm just not interested.

Besides jumping the gun, I think you should've stayed completely out of this section. Especially since you barely know her... You don't want to talk about how you view a relationship and such so early, especially when you're not even in a relationship. Even in a relationship I would dodge talking about this, much less, bring it up out of the blue. You already know not to become friends with her, you don't need her to know... That's just taking the mystery away and giving her too much information. ~Zappa

 

[Madison Kain]

Use "hang out" instead of "go out," it's less pressure, and doesn't negate the possibility of the event turning into a date.

NEVER "break it down" for them. That's akin to saying "why don't you like me, I'm this and I'm that and I'm..." You messed up in this case when you told her flat out that friendship wasn't a good idea. While we know this, actually saying this out loud is RARELY (if ever) a good idea. Never explain the dynamics of men vs women except when making a joke, as in "you girls have it so easy, blah blah blah."

also, these conversations shouldn't be had over IM. Body language and tonality are HUGE in interpersonal relations (the often quoted statistic is that something like 93% of all communication is nonverbal), so I'd keep pre-hanging out conversations to in person or on the phone at worst. Otherwise, in this case for example, this girl is rejecting a screen, not you.

Ideally, this conversation would have been in person, and you'd have done the initial fluff talk, that was good, but then when you asked her out, it was sudden and abrupt. It would have been better if you'd said, "hey, after the next meeting, you and I should have a drink/coffee," or something to that effect. Some event where she raise her attraction to you.

Given this, in person, she'd either have accepted, or said "I'm not interested," or "I'm busy." Accept - great, you're set, work your magic. "I'm not interested," say "Wow, are you scared to have a drink?" or something like this. She'll explain she doesn't want things to get weird, and then you can chalk up the learn. If she says, "I'm busy," you can get the number. If she doesn't give the number, then go with the "I'm not interested" routine.

In this case, though, chalk it up to a learn, 'cause this one ain't gonna happen.

Hope this helped.
Madison Kain

 

[jwhite17]

Hey hjsknksbm,
First, I want to know if you are attending FSU right now? I went their my freshman year when I was an AFC and never cold approached one chick at Florida State(did get a few numbers from chicks in the cafeteria). Dude, I wrote a post on cold approaching girls in college, and I really want to help you out because Florida State has some of the hottest girls I have ever seen(and new ones everyday). So, PM me and I will be willing to give you some advice on approaching them cold(no EC, "buying signals," etc). FORGET ABOUT USING THIS IM BULLSHYT, GET OUT THERE AND LEARN IN THE FIELD!

I agree with the other posters and read the bible because it will change your life completely. Don't worry about a convo you had with a girl on the internet because that doesn't matter

JW

 

[hjsknksbm]

I 'm goin there right now and it's a great place to pickup women. If you **** up there are a million others to try on.

 

[516]

I basically agree with what the other people said. I think you did a good job overall talking to her, however there were a few key things. I would not use the internet to ask girls out. I use AOL to talk very briefly, if at all, to a couple of chicks. In general, its not the best thing to use when it comes to DJ'ing, because you cant see eachother, hear eachother's tone of voice, see body language, no eye contact, etc etc. So thats the first thing. Also you jumped in too quick, as a few people on here said, you opened up and talked about some of your LJBF problems, you just said a few things that I wouldnt have ever said. I basically second what Madison Kaine and a few others here have said. Keep workin at it bro!

 

[hjsknksbm]

to julian:

i think this conversation went into the wrong direction. I didn't want to get into a serious conversation

I thought this line was perfectly justified because i was trying to change the topic

 

[Player_Supreme]

I didn't read the whole convo to get that:

1. you sound like a whinner or downer..."I'm an only child" "it could get boring ect ect"

2. You didn't want to talk about her just about "YOU"!!!! It's about "YOOOOOOUUUUUUU! correct. You wanted to brag about that little nomination thingy...and about being part of a group...what about "HHHEEERRRRR"!!! Do you even care that she exists??? Do you even give a dam about anything she is into???

3. You asked her a stupid assed question "Do you want to go out" Never EVER EVER ask a woman this. Instead say something like " I'm going to see blah blah, wanna roll with me, I can pick you up at blah blah...or would blah blah time be better for you"

You see the difference...you don't give her an option to say no but you do give her a choice of what times you two can hook up.

4. Work on ya game kid. This is why I say you need to get her life story...this women has no interest in "YOU" Ho's are only interested in "THEM"...Why should she give a f*uck about "YOU" she doesn't eve know you. Get it!

5. Learn to ask her open ended questions about her life...look the word up if you don't know what it means...hell your in college and going to be a libertine whatever that is...

 

[hjsknksbm]

first of all she is also libertarian so i'm relating to her and second of all if you tell a girl I'm going to see blah blah, wanna roll with me, I can pick you up at blah blah...or would blah blah time be better for you" then can say no.

 

[b's nuts]

Originally posted by hjsknksbm
This is my first time talking to this girl, except for introducing myself, a few days before. We met at a student organization and swapped s/n's.

Ok, first off you really need to build some sort of rapport before you just ask her out.

Hjsknksbm: hey, do you want to go out sometime?
: Well, I just met you.
Hjsknksbm: well if i told you too much then that would make us friends (I think this was a mistake)
: What's wrong with being friends?
Hjsknksbm: do you really want me to break it down for u? (This was definatly my blunder)

please read the bible, its for your own good.

Hjsknksbm: what do u think the purpose of life is?
: Whoa, that was a really heavy question...and out of left field too.

Treading in deep water here buddy.

My first suggestion would be to lighten up for sure. You need to have some balls when you talk to girls, and asking them out over IM doesn't show any confidence or balls. you really should be djing this girl in person. Read the bible. My 2 cents.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by hjsknksbm
first of all she is also libertarian so i'm relating to her and second of all if you tell a girl I'm going to see blah blah, wanna roll with me, I can pick you up at blah blah...or would blah blah time be better for you" then can say no.

1. Your an idiot kid...stuck on ya self. I'm done here.

2. You still don't get it do you...it's because your focused on YOU...to get her you gotta make it about her.

3. Stop being so got dam defensive.