I need some new friends...

[onthepath]

i haven't made any new real friends since grade 7 in highschool, except if course for acquaintances whom you see and play the "how's it going" line

how do you go about making some new life long friends, whom you could really depend on?

my hopeless friends at the moment are depressive d!cks and whenever i hang out with them, i feel i'm losing a part of me

enough is enough, it's time for me to ditch em

 

[Disconnect]

Sports sports sports. Endorphins. Testosterone. Is that what you r looking for?

 

[PRMoon]

so you need to make new friends eh? After highschool I pulled what has come to be known as a 'Houdini' where you vanish without a trace and leave no trail. Since then I've always been on the move and met tons of new friends (and enemies) along the way.

If you live in a major city you too can do this. Just move to another area and change your phone number and there you go instant houdini. If you live in a small town though you may have to concider just leaving all together.

You should think it over more carfully though. I haven't made any really good freinds since I was in highschool. Infact the only person I really talk to is my room mate. The rest of the guys are nice and all but they drop in and out of my life at will and I'd really have no problem if they were all of a sudden out of my life tomorrow. Some call me heartless, but I remember the friendships I had no matter how short they are. I just haven't been able to make any more life long connections, since I abandoned my old ones.

 

[quest]

i've got a killer best mate..
was best friends with him late in primary school (age 11-12) then through high school we were very close mates, but had diff best mates.. after high school (4 years now) pretty much best mates all the way, but especially since about december me and him have become closer then ever.. its awesome. i've moulded him into the perfect wingmen, and we kill it together.
chicks REALLY dig the fact how close we are..

how do u get that bond? i definently don't think it takes the 10 years i've been friends with this guy.. probably 3-4 months of hanging out alot..

imagine it like a girlfriend... u can have a very close bond with a girl if ur seeing her 3-4 days a week for 3-4 months..

heres the hot tip.. you need to bring something to the relationship..
- don't be a scab. (ie; if he buys a round, u buy a round, if he drives into the city, or out to the beach, you offer, if not give some petrol money)
- don't hit on the girl he likes or his sister (..your a dj, you can handle it if he hits on the girl you like, cause u know theres plenty more. most likely he's an AFC and won't see it the same)
- don't force the don juan ideals onto him (if he asked for advice with women, and he will, if he see's your success, tell him. but explain to him about not settling for the first bithc that comes along.. once he's started getting a few girls he'll understand that properly)
- do let him see your success with women, but don't boast about it (he will want to spend more time with you, as he'll feel that it will help him, and it should)

 

[DJStudent]

Lol, well my situation is a bit different. After realizing that all of my guy friends suck, I just been getting girlfriends over the past few months. About 80% of the people I know are girls and their friends but I don't have any real guy friends.

But this is by far from what I really want. Every guy need another guy that they can relate to that girls can never understand. My best bud is about a city away but it's tough to maintain that friendship.

 

[DeathDealer]

Originally posted by PRMoon
so you need to make new friends eh? After highschool I pulled what has come to be known as a 'Houdini' where you vanish without a trace and leave no trail. Since then I've always been on the move and met tons of new friends (and enemies) along the way.

If you live in a major city you too can do this. Just move to another area and change your phone number and there you go instant houdini. If you live in a small town though you may have to concider just leaving all together.

You should think it over more carfully though. I haven't made any really good freinds since I was in highschool. Infact the only person I really talk to is my room mate. The rest of the guys are nice and all but they drop in and out of my life at will and I'd really have no problem if they were all of a sudden out of my life tomorrow. Some call me heartless, but I remember the friendships I had no matter how short they are. I just haven't been able to make any more life long connections, since I abandoned my old ones.

I do this sh1t once every 1-2 years. What I usually do is I change my cell number and move out to another apt in this urban city i live in (chicago is urban, san diego is not.) so I meet new peoples and stuff, but if you live in a suburban mall boreland , best bet is to move about a hundred miles away to get some new action.

i know people who do this and i can tell by the stories they tell me on what city they stayed in for whatever time. i know the truth is that they are super manipulative liars and move just to get hooked up. i'm not one of those people cause i'm very cool and honorable.

 

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by DeathDealer


i know people who do this and i can tell by the stories they tell me on what city they stayed in for whatever time. i know the truth is that they are super manipulative liars and move just to get hooked up.

You're right about that. The best people at pulling the houdini are often married (and cheating) men. Me I moved for school, my next move, if I decide to leave vegas which may or maynot happen, will be to Miami.

 

[AverageFC]

when you do the houdini act, do you inform your family?

 

[PRMoon]

Depends on how tight you are with your fam. I let mine know cause I love em. If they beat you down or steal from you, then you want to reconcider telling them where you are.

I know you're thinking, won't people call them to get your new info. All you have to do is tell your folks not to give out your info without asking you first.

 

[Reach]

I wouldn't mind pulling a houdini, but I can't get round to it.

I need to find some killer freinds too.

 

[Spacebar]

Yea I really dont have any friends anymore...

Some went away to college, some turned into losers, and some just drifted apart...

it sucks, it really does... I guess I just gotta find a group of cool guys who do fun **** and fit in and become friends with them.. i dunno

 

[onthepath]

i think many of us DJs go through a phase where when we start changing for the better, we leave behind those who do'nt come along for the ride

but how do you form a proper solid friend? because every man needs at least one other MAN, to have as a friend. kinda like JD and Turk from Scrubs, or Jerry and George from Seinfeld

that sortta thing

 

[Hellboy]

Friends are cool, but I find it's a double edged sword. Example, I met a guy 2 years ago by auditioning for his band. I didn't get in but we became good freinds and hung out all the time. About the same time I met him, I met my LTR, so I was hanging out with both of them a lot of the time.

I broke up with this chick on new years eve and, yup you guessed it, the two faced slimy rat suddenly disappeared too. I find out 3 weeks later they are now in a relationship with each other.

So I lost my girl and one of my "best" friends in one fell swoop. You don't realise how dependant you are on these things until they are plucked out of your life.

I got plenty of other friends, close friends even, but now I am extremely wary of trusting or depending on anyone. I still feel they are trustworthy and dependable, but there's no way I'm gonna set myself up for that kind of disappointment again.

 

[Mjfan12]

I have the SAME problem! My best friend for 17 years, I ended it! We met when we were 2, our parents did, etc. We were so close, like literally brothers. We always used to say bros before hos and all that stuff.

Hes a natural PUA and I'm a AFC loser. Needless to say he advanced, and I got left behind. He's always with his girls. Whenever hes with a new girlfriend, hes with he seemingly 24/7. We live 5 miles away, but I saw him like every 4 months or so! He "busy". How busy can you be to hang out once a week?

I always had his back, and hooked him up. I felt like a ***** in a relationship, I was the one who called all the time, I was being taken advanteged of. I never ended it before because he was like my security blanket.

Last week, I said **** it, and I just finished it. It was on AIM, what a bastard, he didnt even call back to straighten things out! That showed me just how important our friendship was to him.

Anyway, besides him, I never made a real connection. I have "friends" that I waste time with, but no one I can depend on. I feel like a loner.

 

[Move]

Same thing here. I like to think of myself as a nomadic houdini. I havent lived anywhere longer than 2 years since leaving home.
It is hard to start up a whole new life, but at least its NEW and there are very few or no time wasting hangups.
I was let down by a lot of friends that were close to me and that resulted in me moving the first time. I got to liking the 'Fresh Start' idea so kept doing it.
As for finding a best friend, well i have left many 'friends' behind but i think my classification for 'best friend' has changed since.
I do happen to have one friend that stands out from the rest, unfortunately he lives 1000k's (or 700 miles) away. So it is kinda lonely starting anew, but its also exciting - you can reinvent yourself into whoever you want! Lets hope its a fully fledged Don Juan!

and remember... a rolling stone gathers no moss.

 

[onthepath]

my problem is that i do'nt have enough cash to move out
i'm struggling as it is with university, and i won't be able to move out for at least another year i reckon

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

onthepath, sorry to break it to you but there is no guide to making lifelong friends, those really good friends that you can depend on and really care about you, most of the time (like 98%) you get such friends in childhood. I have your same problem. Mine was due to my family moving a lot. I have been to 9 different schools pre-college that I can remember but I bet i might be missing one or 2. I made friends in all of them but never got to keep any of them, and college was't an improvement I been to more than 2. The one house I did spend a lot of time living in when I was like 6 or 7 I made my best friends, best childhood memories. After that I moved a lot, met tons of new people, tons of people that you say 'hows it going' and hang out a few times with ("friends" but no "really good friends"), but no dependable best friends, those that you have a bond with and care about you.

You said you are in university now, well it is too late already. Lifelong friends are found in childhood, those kids in your neighborhood you grew up with, those that you went to school with since you were a little kid. This is true because growing up together you develop a bond and they truly care about you, unlike new friends when you're an adult it is just about fun. You shouldn't try looking for lifelong friends now because what you will find will dissapoint you. Im sure you will find plenty of "friends," people that you hang out with lots of times and do fun stuff together. Just because you met some friends and you hang out with them after school or go to bars etc it does not make them best friends/lifelong friends for the future. Most don't really give a damn about you. Friends like that come and go.

 

[onthepath]

a "friend" of mine put it to me this way
would someone cry if they knew you died?
would they really mourn your death, or just be yeah, that sucks...

 

[Kerensky]

Originally posted by onthepath
a "friend" of mine put it to me this way
would someone cry if they knew you died?
would they really mourn your death, or just be yeah, that sucks...

Most "friends" are undependable and suck.

You can test them like this. Ask them for a big favor. If they deny, then they're not blood buddies. Distinguish between what people truly care about you and what people are there just to use your ass for money or whatnot.

First and foremost, your best friends are your family members.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

I just hang out with the guys all day,sometimes we become freinds sometime we don't.

You should take some classes or get a deskjob.