I need help with day game! Facing constant resistance

[foreverace87]

My Stats: 27 years old, excellent shape, well groomed

The Situation

I need some help gents! I think I am doing something wrong. I have been day gaming almost everyday, whether I am working out in the gym, at the mall, or just walking down three street. Here is a list of girls I have approached recently, and yes I keep a log haha

The Problem

There is a two common trends here. They either indirectly or directly bring up their boyfriend as the conversation starts or they FARKING get NERVOUS when I approach them (especially the 20,21,22 year olds). Some even get upset if I ask for their # again after they mention their boyfriend.


My approach technique?

“Can I get an opinion on…” and then..“ Do you know why I really approached you, because I think you are absolutely stunning” with a BIG SMILE!

Followed by just random questions here and there with some teasing and flirting…if I feel comfortable I ask for the #, otherwise I just say bye.

I only approach in malls, stores, streets and definitely not in clubs (way too loud). I am very calm, flirty, and courteous when I am approach them, I am not raising my voice or being comical like Owen from RSD. I always approach head on, never from the rear and I always SMILE.

Common Phrases I have heard so far

“ so I moved here because of my boyfriend”

“…yea it is really nice in this town and I work for my boyfriend..”

“No…I have a boyfriend…and I am not that kind of girl..” (when I asked for their number)

“Well I get to fly free because my boyfriend gets free airline tickets..”

“ Well I would like to hang out but my boyfriend would not appreciate that…”


Here is a list of my approaches and you will see a common theme. As you look at this list, keep in mind, that “Score” doesn’t really mean I got her number. If she brought up her boyfriend, I would try again for the number and would be shot down.


1) Blonde HB6 8/29/14 Score
2) Blonde HB6 8/30/14 Fail (brings up boyfriend)
3) Blonde HB7 9/4/14 Score
4) Brunette HB7 9/4/14 Score
5) Blonde HB9 9/5/14 Rejected ( kept walking away)
6) Blonde HB8 9/6/14 Fail (brings up boyfriend)
7) Blonde HB7 9/6/14Score
8) Brunette HB8 9/6 Score
9) Blonde HB7 9/8 Score! (brings up bf but still get #)
10) Blondes X 2 HB8 9/8 Score
11) Blonde HB9 9/10 Fail (brings up bf)
12) Brunette HB7 9/12 Score
13) Blonde HB7 9/12 Fail(brings up bf)
14) Blonde HB7 9/12 Score
15) Blonde HB7 9/13 Fail (brings up bf)
16) Blonde HB9 9/13 Score
17) Blonde HB8 9/14/14 Fail (brings up bf)
18) Blonde HB5 9/14/14 Score


What am I doing wrong? Are these girls **** testing with the "bf" stuff? How can I overcome this? Why are these girls getting nervous?

 

[MoreThanAGame]

First off, 10 out of 18 isn't bad at all. You got 10 numbers in two weeks... time start setting up dates.

But you should definitely approach this stuff with a different mindset. When you first meet a girl, the goal is to make her feel comfortable talking to you and being around you. If she "gets nervous" then you are probably being too forward. Be cool. If she is interested, she will AT LEAST meet you halfway.

A good tip: If you see a girl that interests you, hold back. Place yourself in a position where she can see you, and coolly try to make eye contact. If she makes eye contact, hold it, and see how she responds. If she laughs, smiles, looks down, or doesn't look away, approach her! I usually say something like, "Hey, you can't look at me like that and not say anything." Not sure where I heard that line, but it kills.

Also, you shouldn't be getting "rejected" on the phone number request. This also tells me that your mindset is off. Ask for her number in a chill, friendly manner. If she says "I have a boyfriend," I used to respond with, "So... you're not allowed to make new friends?" OR "Oh, I'm taken too. You just seem like an interesting person; I thought we could be friends." If you are hitting it off with a girl, just tell her, "I gotta run, but you should call me sometime." If she is interested, she will ask for your number. This puts the ball in her court, and if she calls/texts, you KNOW she is interested, and you can set up a date then.

Overall, it sounds like you're having moderate success. Just stop worrying about results. Be confident, be independent. And I prefer to do things passively, unless I see a girl that absolutely blows my mind. Seems more natural that way. Keep at it.

 

[Masculinity]

Assuming that the women who gave you their phone numbers are genuinely interested, you've a 56% success rate. What are you wearing when you meet these women? Do not compliment a woman's beauty, not to mention that "she is stunning." It appears to me that you're applying too much textbook game--the kind that is canned and premeditated. These tactics prove successful initially, but will only limit your social capabilities as you progress with women (e.g., "Can I get your opinion" opener or "You're absolutely stunning.")

I need more information and details to help you. Are you wearing a tank top when you approach? Are you huge? Do you smile too much? Are you trying too hard that you may be coming off as desperate? These are tough questions to answer or even consider. However, I think they may help you.

 

[foreverace87]

First off, 10 out of 18 isn't bad at all. You got 10 numbers in two weeks... time start setting up dates.

But you should definitely approach this stuff with a different mindset. When you first meet a girl, the goal is to make her feel comfortable talking to you and being around you. If she "gets nervous" then you are probably being too forward. Be cool. If she is interested, she will AT LEAST meet you halfway.

A good tip: If you see a girl that interests you, hold back. Place yourself in a position where she can see you, and coolly try to make eye contact. If she makes eye contact, hold it, and see how she responds. If she laughs, smiles, looks down, or doesn't look away, approach her! I usually say something like, "Hey, you can't look at me like that and not say anything." Not sure where I heard that line, but it kills.

Also, you shouldn't be getting "rejected" on the phone number request. This also tells me that your mindset is off. Ask for her number in a chill, friendly manner. If she says "I have a boyfriend," I used to respond with, "So... you're not allowed to make new friends?" OR "Oh, I'm taken too. You just seem like an interesting person; I thought we could be friends." If you are hitting it off with a girl, just tell her, "I gotta run, but you should call me sometime." If she is interested, she will ask for your number. This puts the ball in her court, and if she calls/texts, you KNOW she is interested, and you can set up a date then.

Overall, it sounds like you're having moderate success. Just stop worrying about results. Be confident, be independent. And I prefer to do things passively, unless I see a girl that absolutely blows my mind. Seems more natural that way. Keep at it.

Thanks for the reply bud. So from what I am reading, as you mentioned , I may be too forward. Do you mean that I am being a little aggressive? I used to do what you recommended, being light and calm but girls automatically friend zone you in that manner.

For example. I am VERY direct. .."I think you are the most farking beautiful girl I have seen in the last 15 minutes! Lets grab some coffee , I will shoot you a text, whats your number?"...Boom!

They get a laugh out of it, but then they start getting nervous and very shy.
One of my interactions got to the point where the girl was trying to explain to me that she is not a slut and cant see me if she is dating her boyfriend? WTF??

Btw, I only got one # out of all those interactions. The others were way too uptight and standoffish for me to even go there. The reason I put score is because I didn't humiliate myself and walked off with dignity.

 

[MoreThanAGame]

Thanks for the reply bud. So from what I am reading, as you mentioned , I may be too forward. Do you mean that I am being a little aggressive? I used to do what you recommended, being light and calm but girls automatically friend zone you in that manner.

For example. I am VERY direct. .."I think you are the most farking beautiful girl I have seen in the last 15 minutes! Lets grab some coffee , I will shoot you a text, whats your number?"...Boom!

They get a laugh out of it, but then they start getting nervous and very shy.
One of my interactions got to the point where the girl was trying to explain to me that she is not a slut and cant see me if she is dating her boyfriend? WTF??

Btw, I only got one # out of all those interactions. The others were way too uptight and standoffish for me to even go there. The reason I put score is because I didn't humiliate myself and walked off with dignity.

Yeah, maybe too aggressive. And maybe too direct about your intentions. Women are often more attracted to guys whose feelings are unclear. Telling a girl she is gorgeous can certainly work in some circumstances, but it can also come off as cheesy. You have to be viewed as genuine but also indifferent. It's a tough opener.

Also, I don't recommend using that specific opener (the one you quoted in your reply), simply because you don't give the girl a chance to say anything! 1. you're beautiful, 2. let's get coffee, 3. what's your number? That's overwhelming, which is why they panic and act nervous, or immediately bring up a boyfriend. The more she talks, the better.

When you ask for a girl's number, she will assume you are into her. So when she says, "I have a boyfriend" she might get mad if you continue to pursue the number (hence the "I'm not a slut" speech). Try to make a connection with a girl before you go in for the number. Get a conversation going, then say something like, "Hey, this is a great talk, but I have to get going. You should text me sometime and we'll pick up where we left off." Or variations of that statement, obviously.

If you only got one number, you are definitely not conducting yourself in an attractive manner. And that's fine, you just have to change your mindset. You say, "I used to do what you recommended, being light and calm but girls automatically friend zone you in that manner. " You weren't doing it right! Try putting THEM in YOUR friend-zone. You're focusing on the romance aspect too quickly. Here's a goal: try to make a bunch of really hot friends. Girls will treat you completely differently if they don't think you're interested in them romantically. In other words, be an independent dude. Be light, be funny, be indifferent. Soon, girls will start chasing you... then you just have to say yes.

 

[foreverace87]

Yeah, maybe too aggressive. And maybe too direct about your intentions. Women are often more attracted to guys whose feelings are unclear. Telling a girl she is gorgeous can certainly work in some circumstances, but it can also come off as cheesy. You have to be viewed as genuine but also indifferent. It's a tough opener.

Also, I don't recommend using that specific opener (the one you quoted in your reply), simply because you don't give the girl a chance to say anything! 1. you're beautiful, 2. let's get coffee, 3. what's your number? That's overwhelming, which is why they panic and act nervous, or immediately bring up a boyfriend. The more she talks, the better.

When you ask for a girl's number, she will assume you are into her. So when she says, "I have a boyfriend" she might get mad if you continue to pursue the number (hence the "I'm not a slut" speech). Try to make a connection with a girl before you go in for the number. Get a conversation going, then say something like, "Hey, this is a great talk, but I have to get going. You should text me sometime and we'll pick up where we left off." Or variations of that statement, obviously.

If you only got one number, you are definitely not conducting yourself in an attractive manner. And that's fine, you just have to change your mindset. You say, "I used to do what you recommended, being light and calm but girls automatically friend zone you in that manner. " You weren't doing it right! Try putting THEM in YOUR friend-zone. You're focusing on the romance aspect too quickly. Here's a goal: try to make a bunch of really hot friends. Girls will treat you completely differently if they don't think you're interested in them romantically. In other words, be an independent dude. Be light, be funny, be indifferent. Soon, girls will start chasing you... then you just have to say yes.

I think I understand now. I am diving into the set way too aggressively with an intent of "romance". One thing you mentioned I really like is to give her a chance to speak. What are some of the ways you engage a girl in random places to let her ramble her head off, or create a memorable connection, ones that have worked for your really well?

 

[foreverace87]

You're not doing anything wrong. First of all, MOST hot women have REAL boyfriends, period, especially in an environment that doesn't tend towards single girls like online or clubs. That is the fatal flaw of day game( and I am a day game oriented guy, or was anyway prior to my last LTR). Furthermore, even though many women will cheat on their boyfriends, you're not going to be attractive to EVERY woman you meet, and certainly even less likely to be so attractive to a woman that she will be willing to cheat with you(even if she is attracted enough to flirt).

As far as I can tell you're doing quite well. Your approach will scare of some girls but staying in that mindset allows for way more approaches because you can use it with women just in passing. If you have the time, like waiting in line for coffee or something, then be more chatty/funny and less direct.

Thanks man. Going out and doing day game solo takes balls of steel but somebody's gotta do it. I cant rely on my guy friends because they wimp out and create negative energy, so I just go out by myself. The first approach of the day is super hard. Once that goes through, I am in. I am just amazed at how some men go and out and pull so many hot girls. I have one friend here who has slept with 136 girls in less than a year just by cold approaching...wtf?? Cold approaching is harder than I thought, girls have their guard down during the day and when you approach them they are either really shy, shocked, or just freaked.

 

[MoreThanAGame]

I think I understand now. I am diving into the set way too aggressively with an intent of "romance". One thing you mentioned I really like is to give her a chance to speak. What are some of the ways you engage a girl in random places to let her ramble her head off, or create a memorable connection, ones that have worked for your really well?

My favorite openers are simple ones. Situation: I'm walking along in a mall, and I make eye contact with a cute girl walking in the opposite direction. I slow down smoothly as the distance between us closes, and open my mouth slightly as if I am going to say something. If she slows down as well, I can open.

"Hey. What's your name?" (with a smile, always maintaining eye contact. I like to give her the "have we met before" look... if that makes sense)
"Cindy."
"Well, it's really nice to meet you, Cindy."

If she says, "It's nice to meet you too," she's not interested, keep walking. No awkwardness at all, just an easy interaction between two people. Also, no rejection. BUT, if she says, "It's nice to meet you too, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" She's at least somewhat interested! And then you can start asking questions to get her talking. "What are you shoppin' for?" etc. Try to be sincerely interested in what she has to say...you're a busy, independent guy, out running errands, and this interesting girl spontaneously crossed your path. If the conversation is going smoothly, you can ask for the number and leave, or say something like, "Hey, let's walk and talk. You can help me pick out some underwear." All the while, you are letting her do MOST of the talking... like 80%. When you do talk, you are cool, confident, and flirty.

That's just one example scenario. This is the kind of approach that I apply, and it works in any setting. I never go out of my way to find women. If you know what you are looking for, you will notice the girls who fit that mold; and they will show up in your everyday life.

BTW, don't stop approaching women. Congratulations on getting over the approach anxiety; that's the hardest part for most guys. Honestly, if you just keep doing what you're doing, you will learn what works and what doesn't through experience. And that's really the only way to learn, so keep it up.

 

[foreverace87]

My favorite openers are simple ones. Situation: I'm walking along in a mall, and I make eye contact with a cute girl walking in the opposite direction. I slow down smoothly as the distance between us closes, and open my mouth slightly as if I am going to say something. If she slows down as well, I can open.

"Hey. What's your name?" (with a smile, always maintaining eye contact. I like to give her the "have we met before" look... if that makes sense)
"Cindy."
"Well, it's really nice to meet you, Cindy."

If she says, "It's nice to meet you too," she's not interested, keep walking. No awkwardness at all, just an easy interaction between two people. Also, no rejection. BUT, if she says, "It's nice to meet you too, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" She's at least somewhat interested! And then you can start asking questions to get her talking. "What are you shoppin' for?" etc. Try to be sincerely interested in what she has to say...you're a busy, independent guy, out running errands, and this interesting girl spontaneously crossed your path. If the conversation is going smoothly, you can ask for the number and leave, or say something like, "Hey, let's walk and talk. You can help me pick out some underwear." All the while, you are letting her do MOST of the talking... like 80%. When you do talk, you are cool, confident, and flirty.

That's just one example scenario. This is the kind of approach that I apply, and it works in any setting. I never go out of my way to find women. If you know what you are looking for, you will notice the girls who fit that mold; and they will show up in your everyday life.

BTW, don't stop approaching women. Congratulations on getting over the approach anxiety; that's the hardest part for most guys. Honestly, if you just keep doing what you're doing, you will learn what works and what doesn't through experience. And that's really the only way to learn, so keep it up.

MTAG..you are the MAN! Thanks for the tips man, this is as simple as it can get.

 

[skinnyguy]

Day game doesn't work that well because you have no status to these girls. You're just another dude.

Now if you were introduced to them by a friend at a party, you would have had way more numbers and lays now.

With girls it is about comfort level. Sometimes I feel creepy doing day game because it feels incredibly unnatural. Nice that you don't have approach anxiety but be prepared to get rejected hard most of them time even if you're attractive

 

[foreverace87]

Day game doesn't work that well because you have no status to these girls. You're just another dude.

Now if you were introduced to them by a friend at a party, you would have had way more numbers and lays now.

With girls it is about comfort level. Sometimes I feel creepy doing day game because it feels incredibly unnatural. Nice that you don't have approach anxiety but be prepared to get rejected hard most of them time even if you're attractive

Any tips on developing comfort in a time constrained environment..in other word do you have ways to establish comfort within a very short amount of time?

 

[nismo-4]

AFAIC if a woman brings up a boyfriend or refuses to give you her number, you have failed.

Try being less forward. Indirect if you will.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Nothing grows without resistance.

 

[Mr Wright]

Not going to get into a direct vs indirect argument but it's each to their own on that one. I've used both, it really depends on the situation. If you're approaching a girl on the street, go direct because if she's not interested she can just walk off. Girls during the day can just waste your time and chat if you're too indirect then you're going to seed a date or number close and she's telling you shes in a rush because she has to meet her boyfriend. She's validated and you're frustrated. My best/most successful pick ups on the street have been short quick interactions, where you're talking for 2-3 minutes, the vibe is good and you arrange a date.

If you're somewhere where she can't just walk off like a shop, I go indirect but you have to be flirty and make sure she knows what's going on. It's kinda like indirect direct if you get what I mean. There's always that sublayer convo happening and you're trying to tap into that. That's where you eye contact is going to be key, you can be talking to her about books but you're also kinda eyefücking her.

Stick at it, don't worry about the boyfriend thing, it happens.

 

[_sideways_]

Really simple...ur going after 9s. Forget the number and go instadate. Try that out.

5s give out numbers, 9s are too busy shooting down every chode and his brother.

What city are u in?

 

[DragonBlood]

Hot girls tend to have boyfriends for real. On the other hand day game gets them talking to YOU. Looks like your doing fine.

 

[_sideways_]

Hot girls tend to have boyfriends for real. On the other hand day game gets them talking to YOU. Looks like your doing fine.

I know right!
Dude is doing fine...its just that the hot girl market sucks right now.
Man needs to get super hot superman style, or wait it out.

Im also leaning towards wearing suits and that type of shyt when out....like when you put a nice fence around a house ur trying to sell.

In the end, just live ur life alpha and anxiety free like ur doing.

 

[The_411]

Direct game can work but like everything it's situation. The problem is that you're going to the knockout when you haven't softened the girl up a bit. Direct works when a girl is eye banging you or is radiating heat or you in turn are radiating heat.

You may want to make her encounter with you original so that she feels special or that you are unique. That doesn't mean make a fool out of yourself but distinguish yourself from any other guy she meets.

You can distinguish yourself by being smooth, by being ****y and funny, by teasing the hell out of her etc.

 

[VladPatton]

Day game doesn't work that well because you have no status to these girls. You're just another dude.

Now if you were introduced to them by a friend at a party, you would have had way more numbers and lays now.

With girls it is about comfort level. Sometimes I feel creepy doing day game because it feels incredibly unnatural. Nice that you don't have approach anxiety but be prepared to get rejected hard most of them time even if you're attractive

Ding ding ding! Perfect answer.

 

[foreverace87]

Really simple...ur going after 9s. Forget the number and go instadate. Try that out.

5s give out numbers, 9s are too busy shooting down every chode and his brother.

What city are u in?

I am in shiity ass city named Grand Forks,ND due to work. The population here is around 50000 but it is a college town so it helps. I was in Dallas before this so this is a huge change for me. I have to literally work to find girls here because

a) They are either dating a Frat pretty boy in college
b) They are dating a college athlete

...but these are lame excuses. With the right game, this is meaningless.