I might be in a pickle

[STR8UP]

All in all this isn't too big of a deal, but I thought I would run it by you guys to see what you think. Sooo....

A good friend of mine who I hang out with pretty much weekly just let his ex g/f move in with him. With him AND his current g/f! Needless to say, he just tried mixing oil with water, and it isn't working out very well.

Everything started out ok. All of us would go out on the weekend, have a good time, no problems. Then, a couple of weeks after the ex started hanging with us, she started moving in on ME.

I messed around with her a couple of times, and made sure I asked my buddy if he was cool with it.

So a few weeks later the sh!t hit the fan (of course).

Now here's the fun part. I start getting the feeling that the ex does actually LIKE me, but she is also playing it to her advantage and might be trying to get back with my buddy if it's possible. Putting 2 and 2 together it looks like my buddy is doing both girls. I could be wrong, but...

I have already decided that I don't want to be in the middle of this whole clusterfukk, so I haven't been initiating anything with this chick. The problem is, I still hang with the group and chances are this isn't going to be the last I see of her.

To further complicate things, the current g/f started getting MIGHTY flirty with me the other day, making all kinds of sexual references and whatnot when my buddy wasn't around. I have always thought she might be interested, but I blew her off since I wouldn't go there with a friend's girl. :nono: It looks like their relationship is on thin ice, but they are still together.

So the question is:

1) How should I handle the ex?

It seems like she is playing both sides of the field. She is the type who isn't shy and won't hesitate to jump in my bed and make herself comfy without being invited. I suppose I just need to tell her she has to chill.

2) Anyone ever have a good experience with a friend's ex?

The current g/f is a CUTIE. I would love to explore some options with her if they break up (probably any day now) but I can't imagine that situation turning out positive.

Any feedback?

 

[Wyldfire]

You need friends with less drama.

That is all...

 

[STR8UP]

There wasn't any drama until the ex showed up.

Matter of fact she is the cause of 100% of this crap. She even threatened to beat up my neighbor the night the sh!t hit the fan. My neighbor is pretty hot too...I made it a point to tell her that was a fukked up thing to do.

My buddy is cool as hell, not going to judge him by his nutty ex. I really like his current g/f as well and would like to at least keep in contact with her if they break up. She's a sweety.

So I guess this whole thing revolves around the ex stirring up sh!t. Maybe we'll all get lucky and she will go away. Yea right.

 

[Wyldfire]

Honestly, it doesn't really matter if it's the ex causing the drama or not. Your friend is welcoming and inviting it. She's his ex, so he obviously knows her well enough to know what it's like to have her around. For whatever reason...he opened his door to this drama.

If you don't want to deal it then distance yourself from the situation until such a time as the ex is gone.

That's the only advice there is to give. The only person you can control is yourself. Your friend could tell her to leave if he didn't like the drama. If you don't like the drama then stay away.

 

[MacAvoy]

First off its refreshing to see that I'm not the only one that gets themselves into these stupid predicatments cuz they like the alure of fire. Any time I've been in this situation everyone's advice has been to walk away. However I am not about to tell you to walk away because I know for a fact that you won't. If you were a reasonable person you wouldn't let the situation get this far. Therefore my advice is going to be fire management. The best way to fight a forest fire is with fire.

The important thing to do is stay very very emotionally detached from the situation. Just as important as staying emotionally detached is ensuring that she knows your not falling for her or her games. She has to realize that you are only allowing her to use you because you are using her as your own toy.

She is playing you to get back to her ex. You have to make her realize that your not a sucker but a player yourself. She has to realize that for you to allow her to use you, she has to succomb to all your sexual demands. The best way to show a women her true value is to make her give you head without returning the favour or even giving her sex. You have to treat her like a piece of meat. You'd be surprised how many women are willing to play this role.

We already know for a fact that this women will play this role because she already is. Currently the ex is the other women in the picture. She can't be a toy on one hand and be wholesome on the other. You have to do your bud a favour and her pay for acting like the dirty hoe she is.

Finally remember the golden rule Bros before Hoes! If I were you I would have a light hearted talk with your buddy about the situation. Use this to guage where his thoughts are on his current g/f. Make sure you let him know that you won't cross the line unless given the green light like he gave you with the ex. Tell him that you will respect his situation with his current g/f. Be subtle and he may want to just have fun with the entire situation. After all he's demonstrated that he's a player like us. If he had honest wholesome intentions for his g/f, he wouldn't have invited his ex to move in with his g/f.

Good luck and have fun while you still can because the situation will either get ugly or you and your bud will have the time of your lives.

 

[speedo_meme]

You need friends with less drama.

That is all...

This says it all...

Man, this is a whacked situation. Your buddy ALLOWS his EX-GF to move in with HIM and his current gf?????? What in the holy h*ll is that sh1t about? And this is normal???? This dude must have serious game to be able to keep his current gf while his fukkin EX is living there too? Wow.....

Sounds like a bunch of crazy folks to me....

I'd probably be quiet about the whole thing. I'd hate to think that I couldn't trust my friends though.

 

[DJDamage]

I messed around with her a couple of times, and made sure I asked my buddy if he was cool with it.

I don't know what kind of a close relationship you have with your buddy but you shouldn't touch his EX if you still want to maintain good relations with him. Even if he says its ok you still don't touch her. You will never know how he will react once he sees her treating you well and remember the good times and the bad times. He might become jelous and resent you.

I have already decided that I don't want to be in the middle of this whole clusterfukk

Congradulation you are there.

I start getting the feeling that the ex does actually LIKE me, but she is also playing it to her advantage and might be trying to get back with my buddy if it's possible.

To further complicate things, the current g/f started getting MIGHTY flirty with me the other day, making all kinds of sexual references and whatnot when my buddy wasn't around.

Those two girls probably hate each other now and resent your friend. Bringing the EX back in his life to live with and his g/f is like toying with a king cobra snake and hoping it won't bite you. The EX is bitter and her sole intention is to either destroy the current relationship your friend has with his g/f or destory his friendship with you. She won't leave until something gets destroyed, that's when she will feel satisfied. A woman scorned......

The g/f cannot possibly like the fact that your friend ex is moving in with them. She is probably resenting her boyfriend and thinks that he has alterior motives (which he probably does). Thus she is coming on to you to make her b/f jelous and play the same stupid game he plays with her. Her flirting with you has nothing to do with you but everything with him.

Nothing good will come out of this. Its your friend's fault for deciding to have this experiment with dire consequences and its all going to blow up in his face and he might lose all 3 of you. So sit back and relax and watch the drama unfold and explode.

DjDamage

 

[STR8UP]

Man, this is a whacked situation. Your buddy ALLOWS his EX-GF to move in with HIM and his current gf?????? What in the holy h*ll is that sh1t about? And this is normal???? This dude must have serious game to be able to keep his current gf while his fukkin EX is living there too? Wow.....

My theory is that he is tired of his current g/f and this might be a way to get out of it.

I don't know though......this guy is pretty good with keeping women around. I just couldn't imagine someone letting an EX move in with you and your g/f and expecting everything to be cool. There HAS to be some other motivation.

 

[STR8UP]

I don't know what kind of a close relationship you have with your buddy but you shouldn't touch his EX if you still want to maintain good relations with him. Even if he says its ok you still don't touch her. You will never know how he will react once he sees her treating you well and remember the good times and the bad times. He might become jelous and resent you.

I hear ya. That thought has gone through my mind because I would say the same thing if someone asked me if they could have a shot at an ex of mine. I would SAY yes, but we all know that deep down inside we don't want to sit back and watch someone we had history with hooking up with someone else.

The other night we were all at a club and I left with her while everyone else was still there. On the way back she started talking this and that about my buddy leading me to believe that he was a bit jealous. I almost turned around and went back to the club.

The EX is bitter and her sole intention is to either destroy the current relationship your friend has with his g/f or destory his friendship with you. She won't leave until something gets destroyed, that's when she will feel satisfied. A woman scorned......

You are probably right about her trying to destroy his relationship with the current g/f. I don't think it has anything to do with me other than the fact that she is attracted to me and is using that fact to set herself up with a win-win situation. Either she hooks up with me (I already made it clear to her that is NOT going to happen) or at least free up my buddy so she can get back with him.

I seriously doubt that she is consciously trying to screw with a bunch of people, it's just human nature to want to have the best of both worlds.

The g/f cannot possibly like the fact that your friend ex is moving in with them. She is probably resenting her boyfriend and thinks that he has alterior motives (which he probably does). Thus she is coming on to you to make her b/f jelous and play the same stupid game he plays with her. Her flirting with you has nothing to do with you but everything with him.

She doesn't do or say anything sexual to me when he is around. She's the one who cut my hair so when she was over at my place she layed it on thick up until the time my buddy arrived.

So sit back and relax and watch the drama unfold and explode.

DjDamage

I'm trying to stay out of it as much as possible. Even when the g/f starts asking me questions I tell her that I don't want to be in the middle of it. The problem is that this is the group that I hang with and I really enjoy their company. It's getting harder and harder to find decent friends these days.

 

[STR8UP]

You realize you are going to be a b1tch if you hook up with his GF?

How long have they been going out? If it is relatively short amount of time, then it might not be that big of a deal, but you are still talking about breaking the Men's code over here dude.

But DAAAAMMMNNN.....she's 23 and hot...

 

[DJDamage]

She doesn't do or say anything sexual to me when he is around. She's the one who cut my hair so when she was over at my place she layed it on thick up until the time my buddy arrived.

I'm trying to stay out of it as much as possible. Even when the g/f starts asking me questions I tell her that I don't want to be in the middle of it. The problem is that this is the group that I hang with and I really enjoy their company.

Toss your friendship out the window.

You are just using your friend to try to hook up with his g/f or for lesser extent his EX (don't denie it. If his "damm hot" g/f would bend over and take off her panties in your place, you would be all over that sh1t. By the way what is she doing at your place to begin with?? no excuses for that one playa).

You are putting yourself there because you want it to happen and if you continue like that it WILL HAPPEN. I hope this isn't a good friend because good friend's are hard to come by.

 

[STR8UP]

You are just using your friend to try to hook up with his g/f or for lesser extent his EX (don't denie it. If his "damm hot" g/f would bend over and take off her panties in your place, you would be all over that sh1t.

Not at all. I wouldn't hook up with a buddy's girl while they are together. That just ain't cool.

By the way what is she doing at your place to begin with?? no excuses for that one playa).

Cutting my hair. His idea, actually.

You are putting yourself there because you want it to happen and if you continue like that it WILL HAPPEN. I hope this isn't a good friend because good friend's are hard to come by.

No, that's the problem. I'm not putting myself anywhere. This is just the group I hang with and I'm not going to stop partying with them anytime soon.

I hear what you all are saying though. I have already decided I don't want anything to do with the ex, and I will be a good boy with the other one, I promise

 

[dirtycm]

i say move on. seems like she's playing him.