wjh
Master Don Juan
That's true. Part of me doesn't want to do that though. Maybe that means I should.
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i love a girl that doesn't love me.
- Thread starter wjh
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wavejams007
Master Don Juan
I would not fully embrace the concentrate-on-faults. There have been girls that have rejected me, and in getting over them, I thought of their flaws, and couldn't even bring myself to be friends with them anymore. so be careful.
this is what i would tell you -
1. i think you're sad because you think "giving up" is your only option and it hurts. you want to keep hoping. well....hope all you want. knock yourself out. unless one or both of you are planning on going somewhere far far away permanently, there is always hope. but....you need to put her on the backburner. chasing won't help. now, putting someone on the backburner and giving up are 2 different things.
2. people talk about how bad oneitis is and all that, but it's hard to not be that way all of a sudden. i don't know why people write stuff like, "just get over your oneitis" as if they never went through a phase like that. yeah, whatever. it's not easy. don't get down on yourself about it just because other people here are trying to make themselves feel big at your expense.
3. having said that, the easiest way to get over a girl is to find one that is attractive and turn your attention to her. now, ideally it is multiple girls, but in your case, one will suffice. there are plenty of girls out there who may not be as pretty as the one you like, but may be better people. give them a chance. talk to them, get to know them, laugh with them. it will take your mind off of her.
4. if it never works out, you will get over her. might be soon, might be a while, but it has to happen. it has to. nobody i know has spent his entire life pining over one chick that they never even had a relationship with. never. maybe an ex-wife or something. but not this. you will realize one day that she's not all that, and will wonder why you were so hung up like you are now.
1. i think you're sad because you think "giving up" is your only option and it hurts. you want to keep hoping. well....hope all you want. knock yourself out. unless one or both of you are planning on going somewhere far far away permanently, there is always hope. but....you need to put her on the backburner. chasing won't help. now, putting someone on the backburner and giving up are 2 different things.
2. people talk about how bad oneitis is and all that, but it's hard to not be that way all of a sudden. i don't know why people write stuff like, "just get over your oneitis" as if they never went through a phase like that. yeah, whatever. it's not easy. don't get down on yourself about it just because other people here are trying to make themselves feel big at your expense.
3. having said that, the easiest way to get over a girl is to find one that is attractive and turn your attention to her. now, ideally it is multiple girls, but in your case, one will suffice. there are plenty of girls out there who may not be as pretty as the one you like, but may be better people. give them a chance. talk to them, get to know them, laugh with them. it will take your mind off of her.
4. if it never works out, you will get over her. might be soon, might be a while, but it has to happen. it has to. nobody i know has spent his entire life pining over one chick that they never even had a relationship with. never. maybe an ex-wife or something. but not this. you will realize one day that she's not all that, and will wonder why you were so hung up like you are now.
wavejams007
Master Don Juan
Ditto. nough said.
wjh
Master Don Juan
thanks kman.
Kerensky
Master Don Juan
I've had oneitis for a girl for 4 years and counting.
I've tried everything.
I've tried giving up hope, but something inside me doesn't like losing.
You must feel that way right? You know you should give up . . . but really can't because then it's like . . . you lost. You were under par. You were second best.
What am I trying now?
I'm trying something completely crazy that no one' s every suggested before:
I'm putting myself in the friendzone.
Everytime I get a semi-sexual thought or start day dreaming or thinking about her going out with me or something like that, I just stop myself and think, "we're just friends." I keep repeating that to myself in my head. Everytime we talk, and she smiles, I start to think I might have a chance . . .
No. I stop myself and think, "we're just friends." She is laughing because what I said was funny and I'm a funny guy and everyone would laugh just the same! We're just friends.
Try this out and maybe it'll help. Redbyte is right (w00t rhyme!) about the attraction though. As you pull less, she tugs more. But you need to resist until she does close to ALL the tugging and then with a swoosh, you pull her in. Good luck mate. I know the pain, but we're in this together and ultimately we'll come out as stronger, better men. Cheers.
I've tried everything.
I've tried giving up hope, but something inside me doesn't like losing.
You must feel that way right? You know you should give up . . . but really can't because then it's like . . . you lost. You were under par. You were second best.
What am I trying now?
I'm trying something completely crazy that no one' s every suggested before:
I'm putting myself in the friendzone.
Everytime I get a semi-sexual thought or start day dreaming or thinking about her going out with me or something like that, I just stop myself and think, "we're just friends." I keep repeating that to myself in my head. Everytime we talk, and she smiles, I start to think I might have a chance . . .
No. I stop myself and think, "we're just friends." She is laughing because what I said was funny and I'm a funny guy and everyone would laugh just the same! We're just friends.
Try this out and maybe it'll help. Redbyte is right (w00t rhyme!) about the attraction though. As you pull less, she tugs more. But you need to resist until she does close to ALL the tugging and then with a swoosh, you pull her in. Good luck mate. I know the pain, but we're in this together and ultimately we'll come out as stronger, better men. Cheers.
The reason we simply say get over it is because there is no magic pill you can take to get over her. I mean the best way to do this is have some self respect and treat yourself to some dignity.
The girl you have oneitis for is nothing special, she is just like other girls; but you can't see that.
We've all been there, but thinking about this girl isn't going to help, moving on will.
The girl you have oneitis for is nothing special, she is just like other girls; but you can't see that.
We've all been there, but thinking about this girl isn't going to help, moving on will.
The suggestion of thinking about her flaws or getting dirt on her is a good one.
Reason being, once you're able to see that she isn't anything special and that she isn't all that great to begin with, you should be getting slightly annoyed by the fact that you're reacting this way to just some girl. In fact, you should be angry at yourself. You should be insulted by your behaviour. You should hate yourself. Once you truly hate what you have become because of this girl, you will start to change.
Reason being, once you're able to see that she isn't anything special and that she isn't all that great to begin with, you should be getting slightly annoyed by the fact that you're reacting this way to just some girl. In fact, you should be angry at yourself. You should be insulted by your behaviour. You should hate yourself. Once you truly hate what you have become because of this girl, you will start to change.
with that short description of your problem there has to be more to it.
how exactly do you know she's not in love with you, there usally always is a gap between two people in terms of affection for one another but that gap closes with time.
how do you know what you say is true? because she flirts with other guys? riiight tell me more
how exactly do you know she's not in love with you, there usally always is a gap between two people in terms of affection for one another but that gap closes with time.
how do you know what you say is true? because she flirts with other guys? riiight tell me more
i love a girl that doesn't love me
There is no easy way to just get over a girl. Your going to have your thoughts & daydreams. There is no magic switch. You just have to be a MAN ! It's OK to have your feelings about that girl. Just don't act on them. Meaning, don't call her, follow her around, email her, call her, etc. Don't show her any emotion about her or the relationship. Do things to get your mind off her. Go work out, ride bike, clubbing, whatever. It's foolish to think you wont have feelings towards someone you like, it's gonna happen. What seperates the men from the boys is how you deal with it. You can control it or it can control you, you have that power. Theres an old saying, "There's nothing to it, but to do it !"
If you think getting over a girl is tough. Wait until she see's that your over her and she starts coming around trying to get attention from you. You'll have to step up and take care of that too. Good Luck !
There is no easy way to just get over a girl. Your going to have your thoughts & daydreams. There is no magic switch. You just have to be a MAN ! It's OK to have your feelings about that girl. Just don't act on them. Meaning, don't call her, follow her around, email her, call her, etc. Don't show her any emotion about her or the relationship. Do things to get your mind off her. Go work out, ride bike, clubbing, whatever. It's foolish to think you wont have feelings towards someone you like, it's gonna happen. What seperates the men from the boys is how you deal with it. You can control it or it can control you, you have that power. Theres an old saying, "There's nothing to it, but to do it !"
If you think getting over a girl is tough. Wait until she see's that your over her and she starts coming around trying to get attention from you. You'll have to step up and take care of that too. Good Luck !