I just did "it"

[dosquito]

Hey friends I"ll keep this brief. I have a story and I think you'll be proud of me =)

I was sitting in the library minding my own business when I noticed a real cutie walk by, she smiled and I gave a big smile back (note: your smile should show, first and foremost, you are NOT AFRAID)

Next time she walked by, she looked down shyly

Then she came back in, and I said "Hi!"

She looked abit stunned, paused and said "Hi"

I said, "you're shy, aren't you?"


she said, "sometimes" I interrupted her "it's okay, I am too" and she laughed

blahblah blah


(NOW I GET IT. ALL THIS BLAH BLAH BLAH IS RELALY BLAH BLAH BLAH. You have either succeeded by this step or you haven't)

Made some small talk, found out this CUTIE (7.5-8/10) is a computer science major!

I said, "It's not every day that I meet such a cute comp sci major. Can I have your number?"

She asked for my number so she could text me and walked off smiling

Now I get it! These girls really don't see it coming, because there are no DJ's around anyone who will simply be direct with them!

A good moment for me

 

[Greasy Pig]

Good work on the approach OP! Let us know if she contacts you.

 

[dosquito]

She texts

"hi."

"Hi ______! (You may want to show me how to spell your name unless you like making me guess )"

"Nope you guessed right!"

"It must be my lucky night then. And to think, people used to tell me don't say hi to strangers..."

No response from her yet. I'm thinking this is a great place to cut it, because I have definitely made an impact on this girl's night. She was in the library coding, and I'm sure that this gave her something to think about =D. Tomorrow is thanksgiving, so I will follow up the day after

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Respect for the approach, but like many people (including myself) on the forum can attest to, the number alone is almost meaningless. So many of these cold approach may start hot for the first few exchanges and then dry out quickly. Just because a girl gives you a number, even a real one, it doesn't mean that she is genuinely interested. Just saying don't get your hopes up.

Maybe she's not getting approached all the time in the library, but rest assured that attractive women are approached often. Don't fall into the trap of assuming you're different than other guys, because that will turn you into little more than another one of her 600 orbiters.

Hit her hard and quick with communication. If the responses are not very positive and if she doesn't seem interested in meeting up, drop and delete her number quickly.

 

[dosquito]

Naw, don't worry. I know the number itself means nothing. Sure, I could have randomly approached this girl, had an awkward conversation and she would have given me her number if I asked, to save me some self respect...But the point is, that's NOT how it went down. I didn't nail everything 100%, but I finally got the sense this time that THIS is how its sposed to be, like I was in full primal mode. I picked up on the hint and took action. And yeah, I'm gonna go hard and quick after thanksgiving...I looked at her facebook and she's actually a 6.5 (on a strict scale). Which is fine, she's cute enough and this girls' actually smart, so there might be some potential there. Doesn't seem like a sleazy hoebag. hopefully she's interested too...sure don't seem like she's got a whole lot going on in her life if she's in the library coding the day before thanksgiving (eek! what does that say about me then? )

What I'm thinking is the day after thanksgiving I will send her a text saying "You know, ______, sometimes you comp sci majors work too hard and forget to take a break...Do you want to _______ at (date)?"

Maybe invite her over for a movie? Or is that too upfront?

But then again, if she's not interested I want it to be over with anyway. So maybe I should cut to the chase?
The only issue I see with that is she seems like a pretty homely girl and she might feel that that's slutty/scandalous? But I guess if she were truly interested she would counter offer ...and that would actually raise my interest level to be honest

 

[rgeere]

I never understood the emphasis everyone seems to place on getting phone numbers. Personally, I have never ever gone out of my way to get a womans number or contact information in my life. All I have ever done is social hook them and then they find out where I live and how to contact me. To me, that works better than having a large cumbersome list of phone numbers from women who might be total flakes, but you never know. I am pretty sure guys get the diamond in the rough thing going on with collecting phone numbers and it sometimes works out. Although, its not my cup of tea. I am not satisfied until they are after me.

Just get to know the girls who frequent places you do in a chill atmosphere, social hook them and there you go. A whole steady stream of everything a woman can offer you coming right your way.

 

[dosquito]

RG,

I completely agree with you that social circle game is the direction in which our society is and has been headed for a while. I personally think, based on my limited experience, that cold approach is bull****. But it was cool for me to see how it works on a primal level. FElt like I got in touch with my roots or something. I don't really expect anything to come out of this. if it does, cool, but I'm proud of myself for taking action and leaving no stone unturned, if nothing else

Personally, I have my own theory that basically no high-value woman would get or even be very interested in a stranger unless you have MASSIVE GAME and LOOK LIKE A CATCH.
Women are more interested in the fact that you are a catch (desired by other women) than anything else.
I can practically guarantee that any HB8+ knows who she wants, and it's based off of the people in her social circle.
A good deal of her value is based off of how jealous her "friends" will be...
You MIGHT be that mysterious handsome guy who asked her out -- that would make her riends really jealous!
But that is extremely rare. More likely is you are a cool guy who she sort've knew already through the grapevine, and she wants to get to know better...

 

[rgeere]

Actually I disagree. You can cold approach a woman or even a whole group and if you can overwhelm her and/or them with good vibes and give the feeling that you have already known each other for a long time, often that is all it takes to get socially hooked. And you know you are socially hooked because the whole group may insist on being with you and want to be places with you. And when you got a whole pack of girls acting like that towards you, its not long before you can pick one out you can game and isolate for comfort. Just have to make sure the attraction is really there.

Ohhh yeah, and I have seen guys who look like ogres social hook. Its all about having the high energy.

 

[BigSmooth]

Many people are ignoring the fact that you took a big step in your development by just communicating with this girl (an opportunity many guys just don't take) and are more focused with the importance/unimportance of the phone number.

Well I say congrats on making that move. Keep on progressing.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

You've got the door open, now you need to NOT give her a reason to slam it shut. Some of this might be obvious, some not so much, but it helps to keep it in mind:

1. Yes, good to wait until after Thanksgiving to contact her. No cloying "happy Thanksgiving" texts.

2. When you do contact her, don't get into drawn out texts back and forth. That's what she does with girlfriends and orbiters.

3. Tell her you are doing something and she should come along. Do not ask. No, "Would you like to do something this week/Wednesday?" No, "Would you like to see a movie with me?" More, "I'm meeting some friends down at [xyz], you should join us."

4. Stop with the damn smiley faces on your texts. You are not a 16 year old girl. Same with "lol". Use these sparingly. Save them for when you state something meant as a joke that could easily be misread.

5. Once you've sent her a "meeting friends, you should join" text, if she doesn't respond to it, you are done texting her. Do not send a follow up the next day, "it was awesome, you should have made it".... unless she contacts you subsequently.

6. If she cannot make it but does not offer up an alternative day/time to meet, that's low interest. "Sorry, I can't make it." You: "That's cool. Maybe some other time.".... and then leave it alone. She'll contact you if she's interested for real.

7. If she doesn't respond or responds with a "Sorry I can't make it" and offers no alternative, you're done texting her other than the response in #6 above. Then go no contact and shift into long game if you are still interested. Here, you will wait until you see her again in person to re-engage. This time, get her to sit/walk with you and have an actual conversation. Focus on her. And tease her a bit. Get her laughing and blushing. Leave on a high point and while doing so, tender one more invitation out. If she accepts, you've upped her interest. If she cannot and does not suggest an alternative, you're done. "Well, too bad you can come, it'll be fun. See ya around"...and off you go. You gave it a shot and missed. It happens.

 

[dosquito]

Sure RG, could you explain in more detail what exactly you mean by "social hooking" then?

and thanks for teh pointers half&half.

 

[zekko]

Maybe she's not getting approached all the time in the library, but rest assured that attractive women are approached often. Don't fall into the trap of assuming you're different than other guys

I have to agree with this. Posters on this forum seem to think they are the only guys with any balls. But the truth is guys have been grabbing their sacks and pursuing women for thousands of years.

 

[DonJuanabe]

And remember you do not know her real situation. Boyfriend? Boyfriend she wants to break up with but isn't sure how to do so? Just out of relationship and pining for the guy? You need to attract her by making her put forth effort. So you initiate and get her hooked, then pull back slightly so she puts forth effort. Push-pull. If you chase her she will flee.

 

[marmel75]

I said, "It's not every day that I meet such a cute comp sci major. Can I have your number?"

She asked for my number so she could text me and walked off smiling

Now I get it! These girls really don't see it coming, because there are no DJ's around anyone who will simply be direct with them!

A good moment for me

Good that you took action, but don't ask women for their numbers.

"Can I have your number?" comes off as kinda weak.

"Give me your number, I'll give you a call/text sometime." comes off as assertive.

Women like assertive guys.

Be assertive.

 

[marmel75]

What I'm thinking is the day after thanksgiving I will send her a text saying "You know, ______, sometimes you comp sci majors work too hard and forget to take a break...Do you want to _______ at (date)?"

Maybe invite her over for a movie? Or is that too upfront?

Again. DON'T ask for a date. Be assertive.

Blah blah blah...I'm going to the movies tonight, join me.
Blah blah blah...Come have a drink with me tonight, we both seem like we could use it to blow off some steam.

etc...

Be a man. Be Assertive. Don't ask a woman anything unles its a question like "Do you like it in the @ss?" when you have her bent over the dining room table...