I have a couple of questions about the site, and guys

[Rescue Mission]

Why such anger? Who ever said she was a feminist? From one word you were able to give a full analyzation of her?

You have slandered your self here. It quite contradictory when you say you hate "b1tches" for calling a guy a "creep". You are doing the same thing that they are doing. Stereotyping. You just stereotyped this woman because of one word. Were the words "Slut", "Hor", "Broad" created as a shaming tactic by dominating men? Of course they were. Do you say these words when you see a woman acting in a way that you disapprove? Yes you do. You are just as meek and meager as a feminist.

Just noticed your use of moron as well. I find that funny that you called her a moron and not yourself. If you weren't a moron you would not have used such colloquial language such as "b1tch".

In real life, no one thinks of me as a moron, or stereotypical, or meek. I will automatically assume that a girl is a b1tch if she equates men being horny to "misogynistic".

I noticed that in real life in your life, people don't really like you that much ( http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=167220 ), so stop trying to come off as such a nice guy in shining armor on a forum.

 

[CuriousGirl]

answers in order-

Yes, and yes, a few. Probably bout the same as men on the cosmo forums..

Id imagine most guys have heard about it somewhere, but relativly few study/practice it. Even on this website, the % of posters who actually do it, as oppose to just talking about it, is quite small.

There is no such thing as a guy who wants somthing more. So you can stop deluding yourself, I will lay it out for you.

All men want sex, all the time. Even those nice guys you meet who take you out for a romantic meal, dont preassure you into anything, treat you like a princess etc etc, would nail you on a dustbin down a dark alley 10 minutes after meeting you if they could, and they are thinking about it. They dont because very few men have the balls to do that, and of the men with sufficent balls, very few can generate enough attraction in a girl.
When I see a girl in a bar, I dont think "oh she looks nice I wonder if we'd get on", I think "wow Id love to tap that". And Im not unusual.

Now that we've established that all men want it off you, you want a relationship as well.. thats fine, all you have to is either-
A. find a guy who is a total sucker, who will offer the relationship without the sex first. Or
B. sleep with a guy long enough for him to fall in love with you/want to be with you.

Lots of guys want relationships, but the ones that only want that and dont want sex at the same time, are weak men who have been conditioned by society to deny their true nature.
There is no way to tell them apart, some guys who only want sex are so persistent they will date you for ages then dissappear as soon as you put out. Some guys you can sleep with on the first date and spend the rest of your life with.

moving on-

I joined to discuss a topic of interest with other men in a similar position/interest. Im hopeless with women and want to improve.

You get all sorts of men on here, but for the most part we are men who never "figured it out" with women when we were younger and are only now starting to learn. You do get men who are insecure and take it out on gays/women, but not many.


I have a couple of questions, are you hot? are you in London? Im looking for a serious long term relationship with an art student, its not just about sex, honest.. Im different from all other men

Serious question-

Do you want sex? if so how often, does it depend on the guy you are with?
What exactly is your problem with guys only wanting sex?
Why do you expect a guy to want a relationship if you're not putting out?
If you are single and have been for a while, but "loads of guys want sex with you" my guess is that you are just rejecting all of them, waiting for mr perfect who doesnt exist.

welcome to the forum.


Cure.

Thank you for your detailed reply

Really? There's no such thing as a guy who wants to settle down? But some guys say "Not all guys just want to sleep around"...and I have a friend who's beens with his girlfriend for 4 yrs already and they both still seem very much in love.

I think that perhaps my original post was misleading, I didn't mean a relationship without sex, I know all guys and girls want sex. I certainly didn't mean that guys who want sex are misogynists!

Haha "I'm so glad I found you, it must be fate :flowers: "

'Do you want sex? if so how often, does it depend on the guy you are with?'
All the time. The only time I'd want it but wouldn't have it is when I'm on my period. But I maybe that's a mixture of hormones and genes (my parents are still at it like rabbits) becuase secretly I'm slightly skeptical about this friend zone thing (shock horror) as I have loads of friends that are "just friends" who I've fantasised about. Even guys and girls I don't find physically attractive. (but that's not too often) But strangely I can't fantasise about celebs I fancy...they are too...er..not real? I don't know. But I suppose fantasy is quite different from reality.

'What exactly is your problem with guys only wanting sex?'
Nothing (as long as they aren't deceptive about it - which isn't that often) But my problem is that I could easily get a one night stand or a fvck buddy relationship but I'm a bit rubbish with knowing how to get into a relationship. And it's not just my lack of sex that's driving this desire for a relationship, I miss the emotional intimacy too.

'Why do you expect a guy to want a relationship if you're not putting out?'
Because I've been under the impression that if you put out on the first night he'll think you're a slvt and won't want a relationship with you. Also you kinda make sex the only staple of the relationship, without really knowing each other too well, so at best you end up with a fvck buddy relationship for a bit.

'If you are single and have been for a while, but "loads of guys want sex with you" my guess is that you are just rejecting all of them, waiting for mr perfect who doesnt exist.'
I wouldn't say I'm waiting for mr perfect anymore but I would definitely say I've missed oppurtunities. For example, about two years ago I started seeing a guy, things got sexual straight away and we both had alot of lust for each other...but because of that I thought that's all he was interested in..and at the time I think it's all I was interested purely because "he wasn't funny" (humour and trust are probably the two major things I look for) ....but he was an amazing guy. But it felt a bit weird being the joker around him, I mean I'm not saying girls shouldn't be the funny one but I like a guy who's funnier than I am. Things fizzled out because I went on holiday and got with a guy (not sex, but stuff) and then my ex began pulling on heart/lust-strings...and also I had been told that this guy had liked someone else, so I didn't think he'd really care about any of this. But then I bumped into him in a bar last year and he mentioned how much he had really liked me and the stuff had upset him. And I had no idea! And I realised how I'd really missed out there because I had been such a d1ck about it all, not reading the situation properly and being to damn perfectionist about him to wanna take it further. So yeah, I'm not looking for mr perfect anymore, nobody's perfect. There are lots of people out there you can fall in love with. Although 'love' can be defined in different ways I guess, everyone seems to understand it differently these days.

 

[CuriousGirl]

I came on this forum because I blew it with a girl who was INTO me. I was having fun by myself, not really worrying about her, and then everyone said that she liked me, so I called her up a couple of times, and it went nowhere.

I was really confused because she was suppose to shoe in - we both like each other, right?


it was May at that point. Around the same time I went to a party and was too shy to do anything.


so after those two things, I came home and googled "how to get women"


boom.


after about 2 months on this site, all it really did was showed me two things:

1. don't be so eager to want her, play it cool.
2. just be your social self, since i was already outgoing.


I saw that girl in August and within 30 seconds she was head over heels into me. I started talking about her new nipple rings within a minute.. but i never called her since now I could go after better women

I went to the same party again, and I ****ing dominated it. Like walk in a group of 5 girls and have them eating out of my hand.. it was great.



So yeah, there are all sorts of guys here but id bet the majority were like me.

Hmmm ok, thank you

PS. Don't kid yourself, all of us know better than to hook up with any girl off this site.

Right/Wrong signals? Don't worry about it. To us, you are only vibing off one signal: "**** me".

I'm not looking to hook up with anyone, fear not.

Does anyone know if there is a box or notification somewhere that tells you when someone has quoted you in a thread?

 

[CuriousGirl]

No intention as trying to come off as a nice guy. I could care less about this girl. I just don't like it when people come around with their generalizations and assumptions. There is no need for it. Both of you made assumptions and she was not trying to attack anyone, you were. She had no deep seated intention to anger you. She might have felt "misogynistic" was the word that best fit or she didn't have any other word to think of. You could have said you don't appreciate it and I guarantee you she would have apologized and recognized the problem with it. I am pinpointing you on this because you are likely to be here for a long time and her, not so long.

No need for the hostility against somebody asking a question.

Thank you

I don't have hate for feminists, or for women (I love them for the most part!), but I DO hate morons who throw around the word "misogynist" just as easily as b1tches throw out the word "creep" these days.

The word misogynist is nothing but a shaming tactic created by feminists when they see men acting in a way that they disapprove of.

I am sorry for the misunderstanding, when I said "misogynistic but horny" that was purely a random example, and an example that was actually plucked from a thread in the student forum I frequent from a guy who titled it "my inherent misogyny is making it difficult to get laid". I want to really stress that I don't think guys who want sex are misogynistic.
When I said "some of the posts on here came across as fairly misogynistic (although I fear this word is a little tabboo here)" I was thinking that this word wouldn't go down well but I couldn't think of a word that would otherwise describe them. I was using it descriptively about the posts, I didn't want to jump to conclusions about the user. I hope the post doesn't come across as patronising, I just want to get my point across. I think particularly with the internet you can read a post and so much more of how you interpret it comes from yourself, your mood etc, whereas in real life the person could make it much clearer.

It's kind of like how I use the word "hate", I will say "I hate marmite" (a really horrible spread for toast in england) but I would never ever say I "hate" someone, even if I really dislike them. Whereas lots of my friends do use the word "hate" and throw it around when talking about people.

 

[Ease]

OP clearly has a ****. Just putting it out there.

 

[Upside]

Girls on this forum have no grounds to give advice on how other guys should interact with girls and please don't pretend to understand what men here are going through because you sure as hell don't. On this forum, you will read plenty of threads that say Pay attention to her actions, not her words. At best you can and should offer what your experiences have been thus far and how you behave when it comes to men and relationships so we can learn from them and perhaps understand the female mind just a bit better, if at all. Words and advice are cheap coming from you on this forum until proven otherwise.

Just because you found this forum odds are it shouldn't change how you live your life at all, but I can gurantee from now on whenever you meet a guy you are attracted to you are going to use everything you learned here to understand what he is doing and how he is doing it. And when you find out that he is using some cheap PUA trick, you will be turned off so fast. And then that guy will come crying to this forum asking what went wrong. This forum advocates inner game, improve yourself and then the women come naturally. Guys who are natural and genuine are by far better with women than guys who use cheap tricks and tactics just because it isn't an act. It is truely a part of their personality. This forum tries to engrave that natural and genuine behavior into all of us and it sure as **** isn't easy.

Don't pretend to understand what guys are going through here. Many of us are here because we grew up as pussies and had to learn how to act like a man. Being a man does not mean being an *******, or abusive, or emotionless. It just means taking responsibilty for one's self, creating goals and achieving them, not taking abuse from others, and living without fear from others. And do you want to know what's funny? The qualitites of being a man are not gender exclusive. However, very few women these days are dependable and trustworthy enough to have those qualities. They are called girls. To me and possibly to many others, you are just another girl who is getting off here and will move on eventually. Boys can only get girls, men can get both girls and women. What we men want here is a women who is true to herself, her being, and her sexuality. No man wants to be played, so throw any games you play in relationships out the window and grow up to become a great woman worth spending time with and even perhaps marrying or else you will just end up bitter, divorced, and wondering what went wrong despite the information you learned here.

 

[CuriousGirl]

OP clearly has a ****. Just putting it out there.

Well, put it away, my vagina disagrees.

Girls on this forum have no grounds to give advice on how other guys should interact with girls and please don't pretend to understand what men here are going through because you sure as hell don't. On this forum, you will read plenty of threads that say Pay attention to her actions, not her words. At best you can and should offer what your experiences have been thus far and how you behave when it comes to men and relationships so we can learn from them and perhaps understand the female mind just a bit better, if at all. Words and advice are cheap coming from you on this forum until proven otherwise.

Just because you found this forum odds are it shouldn't change how you live your life at all, but I can gurantee from now on whenever you meet a guy you are attracted to you are going to use everything you learned here to understand what he is doing and how he is doing it. And when you find out that he is using some cheap PUA trick, you will be turned off so fast. And then that guy will come crying to this forum asking what went wrong. This forum advocates inner game, improve yourself and then the women come naturally. Guys who are natural and genuine are by far better with women than guys who use cheap tricks and tactics just because it isn't an act. It is truely a part of their personality. This forum tries to engrave that natural and genuine behavior into all of us and it sure as **** isn't easy.

Don't pretend to understand what guys are going through here. Many of us are here because we grew up as pussies and had to learn how to act like a man. Being a man does not mean being an *******, or abusive, or emotionless. It just means taking responsibilty for one's self, creating goals and achieving them, not taking abuse from others, and living without fear from others. And do you want to know what's funny? The qualitites of being a man are not gender exclusive. However, very few women these days are dependable and trustworthy enough to have those qualities. They are called girls. To me and possibly to many others, you are just another girl who is getting off here and will move on eventually. Boys can only get girls, men can get both girls and women. What we men want here is a women who is true to herself, her being, and her sexuality. No man wants to be played, so throw any games you play in relationships out the window and grow up to become a great woman worth spending time with and even perhaps marrying or else you will just end up bitter, divorced, and wondering what went wrong despite the information you learned here.

Thank you for your reply. I don't like 'games' in relationships, I prefer all the cards out on the table. That's part of the reason why I clicked on the link to this site, I thought it could give me some insight into why generally guys seem reluctant to lay them out, or why they play games etc. At face value this site seemed to be about "the game" but, like you pointed out, I noticed with some of the threads there's more to it than that.
I'm not here to pretend to understand, I'm here to gain an understanding. Like I said, my male friends have moved away to university and I mostly spend time with girls on my course.

 

[Kailex]

Thank you for your reply. I don't like 'games' in relationships, I prefer all the cards out on the table. That's part of the reason why I clicked on the link to this site, I thought it could give me some insight into why generally guys seem reluctant to lay them out, or why they play games etc. At face value this site seemed to be about "the game" but, like you pointed out, I noticed with some of the threads there's more to it than that.
I'm not here to pretend to understand, I'm here to gain an understanding. Like I said, my male friends have moved away to university and I mostly spend time with girls on my course.

And there you go.

The bolded statement. Translation: Bullsh!t.

Are you kidding me? You are the exact embodiment of what we preach here.

Pay attention to her actions, not her words.

And this isn't even me being mean... this is me being honest. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that specific statement from a woman:

"I don't like 'games' in relationships"

I'd be Donald Trump.

What I've learned over the years is that everytime a woman says that to me, she means "I" shouldn't be playing games, but she's perfectly OKAY with doing so.

You are female. You WILL play games, you WILL throw out sh!t tests, even if they ARE subconscious.

Now, I'm not saying you are EVIL for doing so, but women play these games as way of measuring up whether men are qualified enough for YOU.

And hopefully after this post, you MIGHT be able to look back and see all the things you did or did NOT do as part of "The Game". Don't kid us, as we sure as hell no longer kid ourselves... EVERYONE PLAYS THE GAME.

Whether you like it or not.

And everytime you tell some guy that you don't like games... just watch, within 2 weeks time, you're not going to want to talk to that guy anymore. He'll be a pushover, his guard will be down and all of a sudden he'll come on this forum asking us about this 19 year old girl from England who is suddenly not answering his calls, not texting back and is playing games.


This site is about self-improvement as a man and how that can directly tie to a relationship or relationships. It's not JUST about "How to get from Point A to Point B". There's no magic book with one-liners that'll get you laid or any fool-proof plans, which is why you constantly hear people saying: Spin more plates, hit the gym, get some hobbies.

And now for your questions:

Do you have any tips on how to differentiate between guys who just want sex and guys who want something more?
They all want to have sex. Some of them will eventually want something more, if you're worthy.

I've been single for ages but lots of guys just want sex with me, I was wondering if I've been giving off the wrong signals...so I'd like to know if you have any advice on what men perceive as the right/wrong signals?
You're female. Of course lots of guys want to have sex with you. What's the problem?

Also what made you join?
A woman who said that she didn't play games and then I went AFC into almost a nuclear range. Said woman is now lately trying to contact me after almost a year and has found out the hard way that I'm a changed man. All of a sudden, she wants a piece of the Kailex.

What kind of guys do you get on here?
All kinds. I'm just giving you a vague answer to a vague question.

Hope this has helped some. :rock:

 

[kingsam]

answers in order-
I have a couple of questions, are you hot? are you in London? Im looking for a serious long term relationship with an art studenet


Cure.

so wrong
you should open to a RL with any woman who has good qualities and you are compatable with (and obviously attracted to)

they dont HAVE to be an art student..so dont think so narrowly
(unless you want some one who most likely isnt gonna earn that much in the future! as many proffesional artists dont earn that much form thier art and have 2nd/3rd jobs )

 

[Upside]

Because I've been under the impression that if you put out on the first night he'll think you're a slvt and won't want a relationship with you.

I don't like 'games' in relationships, I prefer all the cards out on the table.

Hmmmm...you must like to employ "tactics" instead then? You know, a tactic to see if he likes you for reasons other than sex?

Ironically enough, the girls I have had longer relationships with DID in fact have sex with me on the first date. They weren't club rats either. Nice, genuine chicks who were attracted to me right off the bat. I just had to swing for the home run.

 

[CuriousGirl]

so wrong
you should open to a RL with any woman who has good qualities and you are compatable with (and obviously attracted to)

they dont HAVE to be an art student..so dont think so narrowly
(unless you want some one who most likely isnt gonna earn that much in the future! as many proffesional artists dont earn that much form thier art and have 2nd/3rd jobs )

I'm very sure he was joking!

And there you go.

The bolded statement. Translation: Bullsh!t.

Are you kidding me? You are the exact embodiment of what we preach here.



And this isn't even me being mean... this is me being honest. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that specific statement from a woman:

"I don't like 'games' in relationships"

I'd be Donald Trump.

What I've learned over the years is that everytime a woman says that to me, she means "I" shouldn't be playing games, but she's perfectly OKAY with doing so.

You are female. You WILL play games, you WILL throw out sh!t tests, even if they ARE subconscious.

Now, I'm not saying you are EVIL for doing so, but women play these games as way of measuring up whether men are qualified enough for YOU.

And hopefully after this post, you MIGHT be able to look back and see all the things you did or did NOT do as part of "The Game". Don't kid us, as we sure as hell no longer kid ourselves... EVERYONE PLAYS THE GAME.

Whether you like it or not.

And everytime you tell some guy that you don't like games... just watch, within 2 weeks time, you're not going to want to talk to that guy anymore. He'll be a pushover, his guard will be down and all of a sudden he'll come on this forum asking us about this 19 year old girl from England who is suddenly not answering his calls, not texting back and is playing games.


This site is about self-improvement as a man and how that can directly tie to a relationship or relationships. It's not JUST about "How to get from Point A to Point B". There's no magic book with one-liners that'll get you laid or any fool-proof plans, which is why you constantly hear people saying: Spin more plates, hit the gym, get some hobbies.

And now for your questions:

Do you have any tips on how to differentiate between guys who just want sex and guys who want something more?
They all want to have sex. Some of them will eventually want something more, if you're worthy.

I've been single for ages but lots of guys just want sex with me, I was wondering if I've been giving off the wrong signals...so I'd like to know if you have any advice on what men perceive as the right/wrong signals?
You're female. Of course lots of guys want to have sex with you. What's the problem?

Also what made you join?
A woman who said that she didn't play games and then I went AFC into almost a nuclear range. Said woman is now lately trying to contact me after almost a year and has found out the hard way that I'm a changed man. All of a sudden, she wants a piece of the Kailex.

What kind of guys do you get on here?
All kinds. I'm just giving you a vague answer to a vague question.

Hope this has helped some. :rock:

Thank you, it has. Although I really want to disagree with you about having to keep your guard up.....surely you can let your guard down and be yourself, without being a pushover, with someone you trust? And surely you're not going to have a relationship with someone you don't trust?

Also I can see what you're getting at about people being in the game whether they like it or not...but I would say I try to avoid 'games' for the most part. For example, the last guy I slept with, we were friends, we got drunk and ended up kissing. The next day we both chatted about how we both want relationships but not with each other, but in the meantime we both want some fun. No games, no complications. And that was fine.

And surely relationships can be as simple as that sometimes? You both are attracted to each other, then you find you get on really well with each other, you become more attracted to each other and date and open up and think about taking things to the next level to become 'exclusive' and then it can flow to wherever it wants to go... Or am I just being naive? Do things really have to be complicated? Or do both men and women overcomplicate or dramatise things?

 

[Kailex]

Thank you, it has. Although I really want to disagree with you about having to keep your guard up.....surely you can let your guard down and be yourself, without being a pushover, with someone you trust?

Let me explain what I meant by "bringing your guard down".
As men, we are aware of the tests that women will fling at us: the constant sh!t tests and the dreaded active test.

YOU, as a female, will be doing those things REGARDLESS of whether you know you are doing them or not.

But everytime you tell a guy that you don't play games... guess what, that's the first game YOU ARE PLAYING. You will play the games, NO MATTER WHAT. The games are there in the form of tests and you'll do them no matter what.

Every DJ has an inner-AFC locked away somewhere. Some guys are just better at keeping it locked away forever... some, will eventually set it loose if they waver in their inner game. By telling a guy that you aren't into playing games (again), you're just telling him that HE better not be playing games, but you are STILL going to put him through the motions.

And surely you're not going to have a relationship with someone you don't trust?

How do you know you trust this person, right away? It takes time to build a certain trust level. You don't just TRUST someone right away, do you? You measure them, measure their value, measure their reactions to your emotions that make no sense to them... hence, sh!t tests.

Women are emotional, men are logical.

Also I can see what you're getting at about people being in the game whether they like it or not...but I would say I try to avoid 'games' for the most part.

You went from "I don't play games" to... "I try to avoid games".
Incongruence, already, in the things you've said. You still will play games, employ tactics, hand out tests... no matter how you want to call it. It's THERE.

For example, the last guy I slept with, we were friends, we got drunk and ended up kissing. The next day we both chatted about how we both want relationships but not with each other, but in the meantime we both want some fun. No games, no complications. And that was fine.

Because this isn't a relationship. He was your FB for the night.
Guaranteed: Do that 10 more times and one of you two is going to start liking the other more... and then it gets complicated, and the games begin again.

And surely relationships can be as simple as that sometimes?

For FB's, yes.
For an LTR, no. For that matter, anything else, not really.
Have you found it to be that simple, yet? Doubt it.

He's just your friend, of course it's going to be easy... why, because guaranteed 10 out of 10 times, if you message him to come over and have sex, he'll likely say "yes". Now if this guy is spinning plates and a busy man and is going to be doing other chicks... I can bet that at some point, if you tell him to come over and he objects... THEN you'll start caring.

The fact that you two spoke about wanting to be in relationships with other people... means nothing. Absolutely... nothing.

That's all nice and dandy right NOW, but will it be a week from now?

You both are attracted to each other, then you find you get on really well with each other, you become more attracted to each other and date and open up and think about taking things to the next level to become 'exclusive' and then it can flow to wherever it wants to go... Or am I just being naive? Do things really have to be complicated? Or do both men and women overcomplicate or dramatise things?

Going by your example, you say you both are attracted to each other (I'm assuming initial physical attraction). Fine.

Then you get on really well with each other... and how do you find that out... by going out, by talking, by spending time together, and throughout this time (Let's call it the First Date)... you start to deem whether he is worthy or not of a kiss, second date, sex... whatever. But you do that all in one night. You'll talk about certain things... and you'll most certainly ask him what he does for a living.

In your world, things seem so easy, so ideal. You just date and open up and talk about taking things to the next level and then it just flows.

It's not that simple and you are evidence of it. You said you haven't been in a relationship for a while. You're 19... guess what, you haven't been in a real relationship... period.

Things don't HAVE to be that complicated, but they are made to be that complicated by both parties.

Don't worry, you have a while to see all these things clearly.
Like I said, you will play games, and you'll have them played on you as well.

 

[Colossus]

And this isn't even me being mean... this is me being honest. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that specific statement from a woman:

"I don't like 'games' in relationships"

I'd be Donald Trump.

What I've learned over the years is that everytime a woman says that to me, she means "I" shouldn't be playing games, but she's perfectly OKAY with doing so.

You are female. You WILL play games, you WILL throw out sh!t tests, even if they ARE subconscious.

Now, I'm not saying you are EVIL for doing so, but women play these games as way of measuring up whether men are qualified enough for YOU.

I was thinking the EXACT same damned thing.

Every girl plays games. Not necessarily in a calculating, premeditated sort of way; but games nonetheless. And guys do too. We tell girls what they want to hear so we can bang them. Nothing earth-shattering here.

I too have been swindled by the "i dont like games" line. I let my guard down, got all wussy with her, and then got burned. You live you learn.

Women LOVE to say they dont like to play games, they dont like dishonesty, they dont like disloyalty....but again, nothing is absolute in a woman's mind. These ideals they fancy only apply to MALE behavior. Whatever means they use to satisfy their fickle little hearts is justifiable.

 

[iqqi]

Hi, CG!

This forum attracts men who are not naturals with the ladies. Hence, also many bitter guys looking for a reason to point the finger at her, and not himself.

But there are also some great guys on here, too. And every now and then, some great discussions, that women will find interesting as well. Not to mention all of the pyschology of a guy trying to figure out a girl's mind. But there are pitfalls of dwelving too deeply into this rabbit hole, Alice.

I'm a girl, by the way. And they all love me here.

I don't come around too often anymore, so you're on your own for the most part. And beware the women on this site who hate women.

 

[Create Reality]

Iqqi you are a rabble rouser and no one cares if you leave.

 

[CuriousGirl]

Let me explain what I meant by "bringing your guard down".
As men, we are aware of the tests that women will fling at us: the constant sh!t tests and the dreaded active test.

YOU, as a female, will be doing those things REGARDLESS of whether you know you are doing them or not.

But everytime you tell a guy that you don't play games... guess what, that's the first game YOU ARE PLAYING. You will play the games, NO MATTER WHAT. The games are there in the form of tests and you'll do them no matter what.

Every DJ has an inner-AFC locked away somewhere. Some guys are just better at keeping it locked away forever... some, will eventually set it loose if they waver in their inner game. By telling a guy that you aren't into playing games (again), you're just telling him that HE better not be playing games, but you are STILL going to put him through the motions.

Could you remind me what AFC stands for?

And could you give examples of **** tests and active tests? I mean, I can see how both men and women may subconsciously or consciously 'test' people when getting to know them...but I don't see why this would carry on once they have and once they're in a relationship.

How do you know you trust this person, right away? It takes time to build a certain trust level. You don't just TRUST someone right away, do you? You measure them, measure their value, measure their reactions to your emotions that make no sense to them... hence, sh!t tests.

Women are emotional, men are logical.

I see what you mean with courtship and stuff but there are different levels of trust, some that can be there right away and lost/reinforced by certain actions, and some that are later gained/lost over time through certain actions.

Also, men are emotional and women are logical too. I think it depends on the personality of the individual.

You went from "I don't play games" to... "I try to avoid games".
Incongruence, already, in the things you've said. You still will play games, employ tactics, hand out tests... no matter how you want to call it. It's THERE.

They aren't entirely contradictory, it's the same notion, but I fitted it to the theory put forward that we're all 'playing the game' whether we like it or not.
And what is up with people associating changing your mind with distrust? Thinking it's a bad thing? Change is progress isn't it? I digress, but you notice people fight their point to the death because they don't want to be seen to change their mind...because then they look like they've 'lost' the argument, but why is it considered 'losing' when they've gained a new understanding, or a different perspective? Alot of people seem to be closed-minded about things sometimes, not necessarily in their conservative views but in their approach in talking to others.

Because this isn't a relationship. He was your FB for the night.
Guaranteed: Do that 10 more times and one of you two is going to start liking the other more... and then it gets complicated, and the games begin again.

It won't, we've both made it clear where we stand and we said we'll talk about it should anything change. And nothing has, we're still friends.

For FB's, yes.
For an LTR, no. For that matter, anything else, not really.
Have you found it to be that simple, yet? Doubt it.

yeah...well i was with a guy for a year when I was 16/17. I know you're gonna say that's 'too young for a proper relationship or real love' but it was still an experience of love/relationships, maybe without the arguments and living together. And it was simple.

He's just your friend, of course it's going to be easy... why, because guaranteed 10 out of 10 times, if you message him to come over and have sex, he'll likely say "yes". Now if this guy is spinning plates and a busy man and is going to be doing other chicks... I can bet that at some point, if you tell him to come over and he objects... THEN you'll start caring.

The fact that you two spoke about wanting to be in relationships with other people... means nothing. Absolutely... nothing.

That's all nice and dandy right NOW, but will it be a week from now?

That started back in january and it's still fine. We don't see each other that regularly 'cause of distance, but we are still good friends. (Who find each toehr attractive.)

Going by your example, you say you both are attracted to each other (I'm assuming initial physical attraction). Fine.

Then you get on really well with each other... and how do you find that out... by going out, by talking, by spending time together, and throughout this time (Let's call it the First Date)... you start to deem whether he is worthy or not of a kiss, second date, sex... whatever. But you do that all in one night. You'll talk about certain things... and you'll most certainly ask him what he does for a living.

In your world, things seem so easy, so ideal. You just date and open up and talk about taking things to the next level and then it just flows.

What makes the ideal so impossible?

It's not that simple and you are evidence of it. You said you haven't been in a relationship for a while. You're 19... guess what, you haven't been in a real relationship... period.

Things don't HAVE to be that complicated, but they are made to be that complicated by both parties.

Don't worry, you have a while to see all these things clearly.
Like I said, you will play games, and you'll have them played on you as well.

Hmmmmmm, well, thanks again for your reply. I'll have a think on what you've said.

 

[CuriousGirl]

Hi, CG!

This forum attracts men who are not naturals with the ladies. Hence, also many bitter guys looking for a reason to point the finger at her, and not himself.

But there are also some great guys on here, too. And every now and then, some great discussions, that women will find interesting as well. Not to mention all of the pyschology of a guy trying to figure out a girl's mind. But there are pitfalls of dwelving too deeply into this rabbit hole, Alice.

I'm a girl, by the way. And they all love me here.

I don't come around too often anymore, so you're on your own for the most part. And beware the women on this site who hate women.

Thank you very much for your reply! I shall keep this in mind. The stuff on here is quite interesting, some of it I strongly disagree with, some I do agree with.

What do you tend to do on here? Give advice about dating or just generally offer a woman's point of view?

 

[CuriousGirl]

Hmmmm...you must like to employ "tactics" instead then? You know, a tactic to see if he likes you for reasons other than sex?

Ironically enough, the girls I have had longer relationships with DID in fact have sex with me on the first date. They weren't club rats either. Nice, genuine chicks who were attracted to me right off the bat. I just had to swing for the home run.

what's wrong with just asking him?

Hmmm interesting

 

[Maxtro]

Yes there are other women on this board but they are very few in number. Usually a girl stumbles in here, makes some noise and she disappears within the month. I'd say there are currently less than 5 "regular" women posters on this board.

This is a forum for men about men's issue which is pretty much about women. The biggest reason why men come here is because they are having problems with getting women. Usually it's about trying to get a specific girl that they guy is interested in. On other occasions the man is frustrated because he is having difficulty with women in general. A significantly smaller portion of men post here to offer advice.

The term AFC stands for Average Frustrated Chump. It describes the average guy who is frustrated because he can't get women and doesn't know what he is doing wrong. I'm sure you're aware that some guys have a sexual charm and woman always fall for that guy. That guy is called a natural. He's basically the opposite of an AFC.

An AFC usually has no idea how to talk to girl that will make her want to be more than his friend.

Just because he has a girlfriend or even married doesn't mean he isn't an AFC. It's all about who has the power in the relationship. If a man is consistently being dumped or cheated on, odds are he's an AFC.

When a man see's a woman the first thing he wants in her is sex. That is the way humans have been programmed. Many men do want more than just sex with a girl, but sex is needed.

Why do think that these guys you know only want sex from you?

I joined this site when I was 23. At the time I was a virgin and have never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. I had no idea what the hell was wrong with me. I wasn't fat, ugly, diseased, stupid, or nerdy and still women didn't like me.

Many years later I figured out exactly what was wrong with me and why women haven't liked me. Now I'm working on improving myself so I can be the kind of man that women want.

 

[EA Gold]

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