nonameok said:
you're reasonably attractive?
A girl recommended OkCupid to me several months back and I'm just now checking it out. I sent about 20 emails and currently in 2 active conversations. I've only been a member for 4 days. One girl wants to have a threesome, and the other chick is responsive but don't write much. I'm asking open-ended questions which she answers but really has no meat to her answers.
I really just want to get out there and interact with some females, even if it's just a coffee "date". But I have no idea how to progress to the point in suggesting we meet for coffee or whatever.
And I think I'd do so much better if I had some pics of me hanging out with some people or doing something exciting. But I didn't post the terrible and cliched bedroom/bathroom pics.
First off, your success rate is low. If I were you, I would not be happy going 2 for 20...and it's only at the conversation phase. Granted you are new to that site, but I hope you realize that talking to girls online should involve a much higher success rate.
The girl who wants you to have a threesome...good luck. However, if a female announces that she wants to have a threesome with someone she just met online, she is most likely trying to stir a reaction. Yet, go for it anyway. Though I seriously doubt anything will come of it, stranger things have happened! Chances are she will flake.
Regarding the girl with "no meat to her answers" she is most likely not interested, but is only answering you to be "nice". Allow me to explain. Part of the reason why men and women have a tough time of communicating is because men are more rational and to the point, while women are more emotional. Therefore when us guys speak, we tend to talk facts. Women, on the other hand, tend to speak and act out of emotion. (i.e. "I
feel like we should," etc.) The point is many women would rather not reply to your notes or may even lead you on by answering you, rather than say "I'm not interested", because to them,
they are sparing your feelings. However its hard to fake interest, which is why her notes are short and lack substance. That's because she lacks interest.
The quicker you understand how women operate, the easier time you will have with picking up girls. I go into more detail about this in my book (check the signature).
This is what you need to do. Stop sending open ended questions, hoping that a female will magically catch interest and develop romantic feelings for you. It doesn't happen that way. Instead, your first note should catch her attention. You need to message her according to her type. If she's an attention wh0re or super attractive, you need to REALLY catch snap her attention. If she's instead a bookworm or a seemingly shy girl, you can tone it down a bit. But in ALL circumstances, you need to be able to think quickly and creatively point out something on her page that caught your attention. Following that, you need to have a sense of direction with your notes. You two exchanging numbers should take 6 message exchanges or LESS.
Here's an example I gave on another board topic:
(Say she's a relatively shy-looking chick who says that she used to live in Atlanta...a place where I used to live)
Subject: You know...I'm impressed
"Not a bad profile for a country girl. lol. I used to live in Atlanta a few years ago..is Lenox mall still the place to go?"
Another example:
(On her page, the background of her main pic is messy)
Subject: Nice profile....well......
"Other than the fact that your room looks like a Tornado came through you seem like a cool female. How long have you been skydiving?"
You want to add some flair to your messages and PERSONALIZE them.
Now if she replies keep it going. If not, move on. The less needy you appear to be, the more the ladies will need to be with and around you. Good luck.
