Sweetcheeks
Don Juan
I’ve been dating my gf for about 4 months now. We’re quite intimate. I’ve met her friends, family and relatives, our sex life is great, and she can’t stop calling me.
About two weeks ago, I called her after an evening shift at work, and was surprised to have her father tell me she was out. She called me at midnight, and told me she had been out roller blading at the beach with a client from the YMCA where she worked.
I was a bit surprised and angry, but kept my head. I told her that I didn’t feel it was appropriate for her to go out alone at night to the beach with a guy that was likely interested in her if she was in a committed relationship with me. It seemed too much like a “date”, in my opinion.
“But I didn’t do anything” was her response. I told her that wasn’t the point, because she didn’t “do anything” with me, either on OUR first couple of dates. After a long discussion that took place over two separate phone conversations, and after she consulted with her friends and her mother (who all told her what she did was questionable), she grudgingly apologized and promised she wouldn’t do it again.
Fast forward to a couple of days ago, 2 weeks later. I was joking around with her about the aforementioned incident, and how silly it was, and she gets indignant all of a sudden. “It wasn’t a date, I don’t think I did anything wrong.” I was disappointed and angry, but kept my cool again. I told her that I was surprised after that long talk we had, and after what she said about being sorry, that she still felt that what she did was “OK” after all. I told her I had to go and think about things.
So, after some thought, I spoke to her last night. I told her that upon reflection, I decided that I’d been too uptight. I told her that I trust her, that I feel confident that I’m a “damn good catch” and that she’d be silly to cheat on a quality guy like myself, and that I’d resolve my silly little attack of insecurity. I don’t have the right to tell her who she can and can’t hang out with, and that I owed her for trying to limit her freedom.
“You’re right, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was wrong to give you a hard time about things. I should trust you more. I realize that now. I apologize for trying to limit you and prevent you from hanging around with other guys.”
She was surprised. Then she asked me if that meant I would hang around with girls. I said “of course”. Then she freaked out, started apologizing, and almost begged me to forgive her.
I told her that there was nothing to forgive. I told her that I was the one who was wrong, and that everything’s cool. She’s OK to do what she wants, just like it should be.
She started to cry. She told me that she promised not to hang out with any more guys ever again, if only I wouldn’t start hanging out with any of the girl friends I’d been avoiding since she and I started dating. I said “Look, if you trust me like I trust you, then there’s nothing to worry about. You do trust me, right?”.
She started crying harder.
Well, bottom line is, she didn't know what to say. She got what she wanted, and yet she seems completely devastated at the outcome.
What do you think?
About two weeks ago, I called her after an evening shift at work, and was surprised to have her father tell me she was out. She called me at midnight, and told me she had been out roller blading at the beach with a client from the YMCA where she worked.
I was a bit surprised and angry, but kept my head. I told her that I didn’t feel it was appropriate for her to go out alone at night to the beach with a guy that was likely interested in her if she was in a committed relationship with me. It seemed too much like a “date”, in my opinion.
“But I didn’t do anything” was her response. I told her that wasn’t the point, because she didn’t “do anything” with me, either on OUR first couple of dates. After a long discussion that took place over two separate phone conversations, and after she consulted with her friends and her mother (who all told her what she did was questionable), she grudgingly apologized and promised she wouldn’t do it again.
Fast forward to a couple of days ago, 2 weeks later. I was joking around with her about the aforementioned incident, and how silly it was, and she gets indignant all of a sudden. “It wasn’t a date, I don’t think I did anything wrong.” I was disappointed and angry, but kept my cool again. I told her that I was surprised after that long talk we had, and after what she said about being sorry, that she still felt that what she did was “OK” after all. I told her I had to go and think about things.
So, after some thought, I spoke to her last night. I told her that upon reflection, I decided that I’d been too uptight. I told her that I trust her, that I feel confident that I’m a “damn good catch” and that she’d be silly to cheat on a quality guy like myself, and that I’d resolve my silly little attack of insecurity. I don’t have the right to tell her who she can and can’t hang out with, and that I owed her for trying to limit her freedom.
“You’re right, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was wrong to give you a hard time about things. I should trust you more. I realize that now. I apologize for trying to limit you and prevent you from hanging around with other guys.”
She was surprised. Then she asked me if that meant I would hang around with girls. I said “of course”. Then she freaked out, started apologizing, and almost begged me to forgive her.
I told her that there was nothing to forgive. I told her that I was the one who was wrong, and that everything’s cool. She’s OK to do what she wants, just like it should be.
She started to cry. She told me that she promised not to hang out with any more guys ever again, if only I wouldn’t start hanging out with any of the girl friends I’d been avoiding since she and I started dating. I said “Look, if you trust me like I trust you, then there’s nothing to worry about. You do trust me, right?”.
She started crying harder.
Well, bottom line is, she didn't know what to say. She got what she wanted, and yet she seems completely devastated at the outcome.
What do you think?
