i fear i may have dug myself into a hole and need help getting myself out

[bombtrack2007]

hey guys, whats up? my g/f and i have been together for a little while now. i have this website and reading the advice given to users from the other users on this discussion board to thank for my "seeing the light" u can say and change in attitude when it comes to women. but anyway, friday i got myself into a pickle and i have to say i'm very perplexed by this situation and i'm not too keen on how to handle it and i was hoping to get some friendly advice, hints, tips, or whatever. it may seem kinda stupid what the problem is but i really am confused. please bear with me, it may be kinda long.

my lady was in florida last week for spring break with her friends and she came back friday. friday night my band had a show, so i told her that i was going to leave early after i was done playing to come over to her house and see her. u know...to do something nice for her. we were on the phone before i left for my show, i told her i missed her and she said "oh u'll see me tonight if im not sleeping" referring to me leaving early from my show. and she might be sleeping bc she didnt really get a lot of sleep, her flight was early and she was doing homework all day when she got back in the afternoon.

ok. my band finished playing, i stuck around for 2 songs for the band after us and then i left. when i got back into our town from the city, i called her and she didnt pick up. called a couple more times and then that was it. then she called me back. she was asleep and said she just wanted to go to bed bc she was tired and all and blah blah blah. i got pissed off.

ok. reason for me being angry: her being tired and wanting to go to bed is fine. no problem...BUT why the hell didn't she call or text me while i was at the show so i didnt have to leave? if she thought she might fall asleep while i was out, why didnt she just tell me when i was on the phone with her before i left for the show "u know what, im really tired i may just go to bed we'll hang out tomorrow."

i was pretty pissed. i didnt call her the next day, but i called her sunday night to talk about it bc i wanted to resolve the issue. now she flipped a **** on me for reasons such as: she told me she might be sleeping; instead of being understanding and cool about her being tired and wanting to sleep, i got pissed; not calling her the next day and calling her when she was already back at school. she said **** like "did u expect me to just wake up and be a ball on sunshine?" "how could i call u or text u at the show when i'm asleep?" (she was asleep while i was out and she was asleep the first few times i called when i got back) so shes pissed at me bc she thinks i was being an ******* and yelling at her bc she was tired and all that crap, but i wasnt yelling at her, i tried explaining that to no avail and all that ****. she thinks she didnt do anything wrong and i think i didnt do anything wrong, and for that she said we're not going to get anywhere and the convo ended at that. ok, for the sake of argument, let's say she's right...I STILL BELIEVE she should have told me to not even bother leaving when i talked to her before the show if she was that tired and thought she might fall asleep. i didnt say that to her when i talked to her last night though b/c i didnt think of it (crap) but i'm going to talk to her tonight about it and hopefully resolve the issue.

now i was wondering how some of u may handle this or what could u tell me so i can resolve this without admitting fault, or too much fault, or getting into an even more heated argument. i'm sorry for this being so long, but i hope u at least found it entertaining and any advice or feedback that i can get would be most greatly appreciated. thanks for taking the time to read this guys.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I may be harsh for saying this. But, what you did seem AFCish...

1. You only played 2 songs with ur band and then left early. Putting yourself second and her first. You should of stayed and played with your band!

2. She said she might be sleeping. Well you should you assumed that it would happen and you got mad over nothing.

It was your fault. You got mad cause you chose her over your band/friends to go see her and you drove out to see her for nothing.

Solution: Drop the whole thing and go do something fun with your girlfriend.

 

[bombtrack2007]

oh, i did play with my band, i just stayed and watched the next band play a couple songs

and yeah, i was kinda beginning to suspect the same. thanks man, i appreciate it. and i dont wanna be an afc so i better get on that sh!t.

 

[ezily]

yeah it was your fault bomb. You're making mountains out of molehills. I advise you not to bring this up again. Is it really worth getting into a fight and possibly breaking up over something really stupid? Just let it go. So she forgot to tell you. Why does it bother you so much even 3 days later? I mean you're telling me you never forgot anything? She probably just fell asleep when she got home. You really should have just assumed after her not answering a couple times.

Part of being a man is learning to admit your mistakes and letting things go. Remember that DJs aren't jerks. They're confident, attractive men. If you argue over this with her you're bound to lose in the end, make yourself look like a child, and your gf may then start to look at other aspects of you she doesn't like. So again, just drop this subject. It's not her fault. You're putting blame on her and getting mad over absolutely nothing.

btw I realize it could be annoying when and directly after it happened. Bringing it up once with her in a non-confrontational way (which you apparently didn't do the first time) would have been fine. However, you wen ahead and blamed her and told her she as wrong. How did you expect her to respond? See how you responded when she blamed you? Man, this is such a stupid fight. I would have been annoyed that night but would have gotten over it very quickly. Not calling her the next day is such a girl/AFC move. That's not what a man/DJ would have done to his gf. DJs treat their gf with respect. Sure you don't take **** like her cheating and all that stuff, but if she's loyal, nice, and gives pleasant company then you really should do the same (of course in a non-AFC way).

 

[bombtrack2007]

well that was rubbed in a little more than i needed it to be, but thank you anyway, yes u guys r right and i took care of it and everythings fine now