I DUMPED my GF!!! Was it correct? or did i overreacted?

[EvilSpirit22]

Honestly I think you made a mistake here.

If he is AFC and has no chance with her as you say, then let her give her number out and friendzone him so he can do more orbiter things.

I think blowing up over an AFC made you look weak and appear to be a man with low sexual market value, sorry but I have to call it as I see it.

I would have let him give her the attention and get nothing in return while you do all the banging.

I didn't dump her because she gave her number. I dumped her because she LIED about it. I asked her 5 times. She said no. And was never sorry for it. I had to ask her to apologize. It made me look needy.

A girl lies, End of story. Doesn't apologize, End of story. Today she lied to me about this guy. Tomorrow she can **** some guy and hide it from me. And that would hurt a lot then. Don't let them walkover you.

I am glad that I saw this side of her earlier. And this is not the first time. Last time we fought she did the same thing even when she knew that the guy is my biggest enemy. She is an AW. She cried and begged me last time and promised to never talk to any other guy or hide anything from me or delete her facebook texts.

I gave her one chance. And she ****ed it up pretty badly. So that's the end of this relation****. Period.

 

[Scormus]

and

I didn't dump her because she gave her number. I dumped her because she LIED about it. I asked her 5 times. She said no. And was never sorry for it. I had to ask her to apologize. It made me look needy.

But why make much ado about an AFC orbiter?

If you know her Interest Level is high and that you are the prize she can AW and leech attention off AFC orbiters all she likes so long as I am the only one banging her.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

Well that's correct. If she loves me she will come back. And if she doesn't i'll get the answer.

 

[Scormus]

whats ok or not

In my experience the more you try and get a girl to not do things, the more defiant they become.

I try to keep the upper hand and let her worry more about my fidelity than the other way round.

You want the dynamic to be such that she is so afraid of losing you, that she won't do anything that might remotely upset you and only befriends obvious AFCs.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

No offense here but based on what I've read of your posts in this thread, you need to get in better control of yourself. Your emotions, the things you say, and your rage because that's exactly what I get from a couple of them such as the ones that you state you called her up and b!tched her out.

Now as for your most recent ones, it seems like you can't decide what you even want. You're now waiting for her to call back? Have you already forgotten that you broke this off? You either stand by your decision or go back to her, but keep in mind that if you do, think about how that makes you look in the long run.

You sound pretty young because most young people, even into their mid to late 20s because there are plenty out there that still don't quite grow up and relate to larger implications of their decisions, don't always think of the bigger picture when they make an important decision such as this. You want to break up with her because she called another guy, but more importantly she lied about it? That's fine, and others here have stated you have to set boundaries in a relationship and what you will and won't put up with. Your original posts here indicate you're not ok with this lying, you end it, then freak out because you're not sure of what to do while she's blowing up your phone.

I really think YOU need to start evaluating the stuff that makes you tick, why you react in the certain ways that you do, and if you can correct them to help make you a better person.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

No offense here but based on what I've read of your posts in this thread, you need to get in better control of yourself. Your emotions, the things you say, and your rage because that's exactly what I get from a couple of them such as the ones that you state you called her up and b!tched her out.

Now as for your most recent ones, it seems like you can't decide what you even want. You're now waiting for her to call back? Have you already forgotten that you broke this off? You either stand by your decision or go back to her, but keep in mind that if you do, think about how that makes you look in the long run.

You sound pretty young because most young people, even into their mid to late 20s because there are plenty out there that still don't quite grow up and relate to larger implications of their decisions, don't always think of the bigger picture when they make an important decision such as this. You want to break up with her because she called another guy, but more importantly she lied about it? That's fine, and others here have stated you have to set boundaries in a relationship and what you will and won't put up with. Your original posts here indicate you're not ok with this lying, you end it, then freak out because you're not sure of what to do while she's blowing up your phone.

I really think YOU need to start evaluating the stuff that makes you tick, why you react in the certain ways that you do, and if you can correct them to help make you a better person.

I was sure about my decision but I just can't see someone crying. I know my emotions are responsible for making me this way. But now I have made up my mind that I can't tolerate her bull**** and if I get back with her that would mean that I lose myself and become her slave and that would make me look weak and needy. I am sticking to my decision.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

In my experience the more you try and get a girl to not do things, the more defiant they become.

I try to keep the upper hand and let her worry more about my fidelity than the other way round.

You want the dynamic to be such that she is so afraid of losing you, that she won't do anything that might remotely upset you and only befriends obvious AFCs.

^^This is it. +1

This is inherently what a lot of guys can't get through their constantly dumped/cheated on brains.

The whole key is to make it so she WANTS to be with you.

Telling her she can't do this or that isn't going to increase her WANT to be with you.

Without getting into the whole boundary debate again, boundary's or not, the key is to build her attraction.

Attraction is not a (logical) choice. She doesn't know why she's attracted to you, all she knows is that she just is.

 

[Alvafe]

^^This is it. +1

This is inherently what a lot of guys can't get through their constantly dumped/cheated on brains.

The whole key is to make it so she WANTS to be with you.

Telling her she can't do this or that isn't going to increase her WANT to be with you.

Without getting into the whole boundary debate again, boundary's or not, the key is to build her attraction.

Attraction is not a (logical) choice. She doesn't know why she's attracted to you, all she knows is that she just is.

but folowing this logic,if she want to have orbiters and male friends to hang out, she don't want to spend time with so you dump her because the LTR is already done for, with means he only lose time telling her to not have orbiters, he should ahve dumped her way before.

 

[logicallefty]

You have to watch this situation with the orbiters.

Alpha orbiters can/will act beta around the BF/husband of the girl who they are banging in order to lower the perceived threat in the BF/husband's mind.

With my ex "wife" I fell for this exact trick with one of the 3 men she cheated on me with and learned the hard way.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

We met today. She hugged me and cried a lot and said that she was actually quite hurt with what i said. She bought a new number and we are back together.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Don't.

No "one more time and that's it", no "one last time" - she will suck you in and you'll lose the power.

Edit:
Didn't notice there are more pages to this thread.

Ahhhh..Too fvcking late, they're back together.

 

[foreverace87]

You took her back quite quickly. The number change is a front, you should have made her work for it even more. I would have given it at least two more weeks.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

I should have listened to you guys at that time. I learnt it the harder way. I changed a lot after my breakup.

Successfully completed the No Contact Challenge.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=222618

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

I did a correct thing. Right??

You shoudlnt come to forum for reassurance from some anonymous people to ask if you did right decision or not.You should know.